Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Ive been doing great for months but since yesterday have been having intense obsessive thoughts about global Politics and war for no reason. I think it will pass but it is hard...

I've been having issues with being so scared about death that my mind tells me that I should just kill myself to avoid the fear. The thing is, I love life. I don't want to die and I want to see it out to the end, but there have been times where I felt like I could just *do it* because my mind told me it was the calmer route (i.e., if im dead, I dont have to think about the fact that I will die). It really upsets me that these thoughts come into my head so much because I know they're not mine. Even knowing that they're not mine makes me uncomfortable because, if they aren't mine, why do I continue to think the same things?? Why do I keep telling myself that I should do it when I don't want to. It's so frustrating and scary I don't want to hurt myself (and I haven't for a very long time), but just knowing these thoughts are here is really worrying to me.

And I dont know how to stop. Every minute on my mind of me trying to make myself feel better about it, hoping there is an afterlife. I keep trying to not think about it but It keeps coming up. I keep trying to imagine it to hope I give myself peace about it or think of possibilities that were in a timeloop and I’ll be born again after the loop. It’s gotten to the point where I keep thinking im about to die. Im hypersensitive to everything about my body and I keep checking my pulse to see if my heart is beating normally. I keep trying to reassurance myself im not gonna die but the thought is scary and I know im not supposed tk seek reassurance but I dont know how im not supposed to seek reassurance about this. I dont know what to do. I just feel like vessel with a brain.

Several people have shown me I’m not very important to them. I don’t know how to cope at times when I’m afraid of being sick and alone. Can you imagine what that would be like, and it’s a real possibility for me. I’m told to accept life on life’s terms, so I should accept that I might be in my own if I need help? I think I’m worth much more than that, but I might not get what I need. Will this life get worse as I get older because I have no family? I shudder to think of my future and no, I will not accept that I’ll be abandoned. I deserve better

Is it normal to go numb to thoughts? I’ve been struggling for 3 months with intense fear and all of a sudden I am not anymore. While this may seem like healing, I’m incredibly worried I’m not scared anymore. I know that’s crazy. It’s causing me to be scared that the thoughts are mine because I’m not reacting to them.

I’ve been feeling weird lately like idk I question life and humans and I had this one weird thought of who am I and it turned into a panic n I have this like sensation in the back of my mind that I don’t know what life is and I feel like I’m losing it people look differently my loved ones look different I’m so scared like is this me losing my mind?

I’m getting married in November to the love of my life. I’ve been with him for over 5 years and I’m so excited but I’ve struggle sexual identity over the past and now with the wedding coming up, my intrusive thoughts and the constant theme of identity keep showing up in my head. From what I wear to how I act, I can’t just enjoy being myself. I know who I am but anytime my SOOCD comes up, it just wipes my identity completely out. I’m trying to ignore it and tell myself I don’t need to label myself as anything but I’m having constant intrusive dreams lately and it’s messing with my daily life

My partner was high and so was I and he just said “is this real like is this really real” and my theme right now is I’m convinced I’m in a dream or not real and this is a false reality or something, I had therapy early today and that helped so much and then I was feeling hopeful that i was gonna get better and the theme was going away and then he said that and I’m spiraling, please help

I've spent all day watching masc lesbian tiktok and It convinced me im a lesbian too, then I decided to go out to stop thinking and I went to a bar which normally Is empty. But tonight there were like 30 lesbians, It was someone's birthday, I got triggered so much. I'm still shaking from the anxiety I had all day. Life sucks.

I feel like I’m going crazy and second guessing everything rn. I keep wondering if I did or said anything racist and I just can’t remember or I did and i didn’t acknowledge it. I feel like people at my school hate me or are ignoring me. I don’t know how to get out of this endless loop of doubting myself. I know I would never do such a thing but I keep second guessing myself. Im starting to believe I’m a terrible person and I don’t know how to prove myself otherwise.

Hi! I have a recurring thought that I need help reasoning about. I'm 21 years old and have been struggling with OCD since I was very young, and it's been worse than ever since I turned 16. Anyway, I'm young now and I don't plan on having children until I'm maybe around 30. Unfortunately, I have a strong fear for the future, what if I can't have children because they might also be affected by OCD? I've experienced most themes, and I wouldn't wish this terrible illness on my worst enemy, so how can I possibly risk my future child having it?

I wonder what it’s like to think normally. I wonder what it’s like to not think so deeply and obsessively over something. I wonder what it’s like to not think so negatively about something you don’t even want to. I wonder what it’s like to not have anxiety over the littlest things

Every day I make the choice to face OCD. It tries to bully me and sometimes it wins, but for the most part I bully it now (lol). I stand up to it by LIVING! I stand up to it by doing exposures that sometimes can feel so wrong and irresponsible. I stand up to it by not allowing myself to get stuck in rumination but yet refocusing on something I actually want to do. I stand up to it by saying I don’t know and just embracing the uncertainty that what I fear just may come true. I stand up to it by sharing what I’ve been dealing with in hopes that it will help someone to know that sometimes you need therapy and Jesus! Some days are easier than others and I truly have to remind myself that recovery isn’t linear. Life ebbs and flows and so does this journey. I am learning to sit with the anxiety until my body naturally calms down. I still go about my life as usual not letting anything stop me. I face things that surround the themes I deal with in real time. Uncertainty isn’t comfortable and I’m still learning how to accept it. Im still learning how to accept these random thoughts that go against who I am while also understanding they don’t define who I am nor are they true. I’m a believer in God and this is truly a process of renewing my mind. For 35 years I had no clue that OCD was there. I just found out last February because things had got so dark for me. But I can look back now and see signs of it starting around 2014 and probably even earlier. I’m claiming that I am already healed in the land of the living. What that looks like, I have no clue. That’s up to God. But I’m trusting the process and I will continue to thrive. Even on days that feel rough, I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. My prayer is that we all see breakthroughs as we continue to go through ERP. I’m so thankful for NOCD and that there are tools to help us navigate our way through this. Despite the lies of OCD, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Stay encouraged. We got this!

Omg I can’t believe how serious ocd is, I was diagnosed back in the beginning of February and I’ve been trying cymbalta and it’s made my suicidal ocd flare up yesterday was really bad and then I was watching the movie inception and it triggered my existential ocd where now I feel like I’m living inside a dream and that this is all me being asleep, the anxiety is bad and I’ve tried everything, I don’t know what to do with this one, I was having a better day then yesterday and boom triggered and now I’m ruminating and compulsion, I don’t know how to help myself, anyone have advice please!?

Hi everyone! I really do not mean to seem complaining or strange, or to be a burden, and I really hope my message will not be innappropiate in any way! I am a christian and for a few years/months I have been feeling extremely lonely.. Other than struggling with OCD, I also am struggling with other things that I am a bit afraid to talk about here 🙏🏻 I feel like some people ( in church) are willing to help me, maybe! but they may be unable because they do not know what OCD or some other things are like.. sometimes I am afraid to talk about them... it makes me feel a bit alone I am sorry if this might be a strange or confusing message.. 🙏🏻

i can’t understand how other people don’t constantly think about death. like, it’s final. it’s unavoidable. it’s just the end. no more me. i’m going to die someday and it’s so scary it makes me physically sick. i can’t eat or sleep or leave my house or go a single minute without thinking about it. i can’t even describe the anxiety it causes. my other obsessions don’t even affect me anymore. death is real. that’s the one thing in life that is guaranteed. it’s going to happen. why doesn’t this freak everyone else out?? i’m trying to do exposures for myself. just writing these things down. it’s so difficult. if any one has any easier exposures, please let me know. i’m started Paxil tomorrow and i’m hoping it helps with the anxiety so it’ll be easier to do the exposures but i can’t function at all anymore. i always told myself id never make a post on here but i really need help

Am I bad person? My mom passed away from brain cancer a few months ago. A friend of mines mom also has cancer. But their mom has been improving and doing better. While I’m happy for them I’m jealous that they get their mom to be able to recover and mine died. I feel really bad feeling this way but it just doesn’t seem fair

Whenever I have thoughts about things that are hard for me to handle I have intrusive thoughts about letting myself die and go to hell and I'm tired and I'm worried that I carelessly agreed that I wanted to die and go to hell and now I'm scared what if I ended up agreeing to it!? I'm panicking. I know God knows my heart and I'm really tired and the thought happened when I was under stress but I had an intrusive thought saying I wanted to die like that and I think I carelessly agreed to it (although I know fighting your thoughts makes OCD worse)

I love the fact God is a loving God. But I also hate the fact that because of that it means that everything I do is my fault, like going to hell. I am going in spirals reading things to see how to believe or how to be saved, called out to Jesus. Scared that I will never produce fruit of the Spirit (Event hoguh Jesus does it in our lives) and that God hasn't written my name in the book of life... I want new desires but I have none, I get very scared of the book of James in the bible or lukewarm in Revelation. Matter of fact I don't even know how to repent, my heart isn't right and I just wish that I had the gifts of the Holy Spirit...

I did something wrong, and I admitted to it and apologize and afterwards was called these evil names after I apologized, and they even said stuff like people like you never learn and said I feel sorry for people around you. This has severely triggered my OCD because it’s like what if I’m a horrible person and what if they’re determining my fate?? I’m freaking out rn and I’m not ok. Btw this person doesn’t know me personally but I already felt bad now I feel worse and evil.