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My mom is mad at me again in the midst of a severe OCD flare. I know it's all overwhelming. But it's also overwhelming to know I'm not emotionally safe in my own home

(I gotta harp first these are false. It’s a messy situation but was years ago.) My OCD loves to harp on a false accusation that happened years ago. It was false, went after my fiance, and the person who did it bullied us so much. This person would go back and forth from trying to be our friends, trying to date my fiance after claiming terrible things, then bullying, etc. and I feel bad cause my fiance has done everythin to not induce my OCD worse but also not let me spiral because I’ve known my fiance for years, inside and out, everyone that knows all of us knows the accusations are false. But I ran into this person a couple months ago, walked into a store they were at, and it made me crumble. I’m so scared, I get the what if’s like what if they’ll ruin my life, what if they were telling the truth(that one bothers me despite knowing the truth it’s just causing me to doubt myself), and idk how to accept it is what it is and I’m not a bad person for trusting someone who’s story was consistent, character is consistent, etc instead of the person who compulsively lied about several people I know and bullied me 🥲 I don’t think anyone else who trusts my fiancé is a bad person obviously, because most of them know all of us and the entire story. This one feels so taboo cause we’re both very caring people who try not to hurt anyone, and I often advocate for people who were hurt in s/a, etc so ugh. Idk, any advice on how to manage the OCD and anxiety so I can go back to living my life? Is it just accepting it is what it is?

I don’t know if me being angry with my therapist is just a part of a healing process, part of being frustrated with erp exercises, or that my therapist is doing something wrong. Sometimes I leave the session feeling worse that before. She recommended me to write down my intrusive thoughts so that we could analyze them. At first I was afraid to do it because of the magical thinking, I was afraid that writing it down will somehow make it more real (still kinda do sometimes). But I did it and it felt good, we made an improvement. But I noticed that I started doing it as a compulsion? That I NEED to write down the thought or it won’t go away. And now I don’t do it as often. I often do not do the „homework”. And she insinuates that I don’t wanna get better. That I wanna stay the way I am. That i’m not doing enough work. But sometimes the work is overwhelming. I am in therapy with her since November 2024. When I’m worse in my symptoms she looks for a reason elsewhere, in my mom (complicated relationship), or else. I feel like she thinks that I do the excessive thinking on purpose. Also, I went to my psychiatrist this week and got my dosage of escitalopram up from 10 mg to 20 mg. I also take bupropion 150 mg. She was in shock because she „didn’t see the need for going up in me”. She was asking what did I say to him to make him do that. She also said that „psychiatrist appointment is so fast like 10 minutes that he didn’t see the manipulation and prescribed it”. That hurt me the most but I didn’t say anything because what if she is right. She also said that it will be bad for our therapeutic process because my thoughts will be quieter and there will be less to write down and analyze. I keep saying that I for example I’m worse with my thoughts and she says that it’s kinda connected with me not doing some therapeutic work like writing it down, engaging in ways to reduce rumination (example: drawing, sport) and suggests that I’m kinda choosing this. I need an honest opinion.

How to determine if it’s false memory ocd? I feel like I’m losing touch with reality lately. I was training someone at work the other day, I don’t even know this girl. Out of nowhere she asks if she can ask me a personal question so I say ok. She said “I’m talking to a guy, and someone told me that this guy sent you a message trying to get with you.” The guy who she was referring to has tried to get with me in the past, but that was years ago. I laughed and told her not recently, but he did years ago. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year so it shocked me that she asked me that. Again, that guy hit on me years ago. I did see a post a couple months ago that this guys dog had passed away and I was friends with this guy years ago so I sent him a message saying I’m sorry about his dog passing, but that was it. But ever since the girl I was training asked me that question it triggered my ocd. Now I’m having intense anxiety and guilt for literally no reason. I’m in my head question the conversation I had with this guy about his dog passing. My mind is creating false memories telling me I should feel bad/guilty when I know I did nothing wrong. My mind is trying to tell me I cheated or betrayed my boyfriend when I know I have not. It’s like I can’t even picture any situation where I would’ve done something to betray my boyfriend because there literally isn’t anything to remember. I’ve never cheated and I never would. I never said anything weird or flirtatious. It was just a conversation sending condolences for the dog. I love my boyfriend and have never and would never do anything to hurt him. Logically I know I never did anything wrong. Why is my OCD causing me such anxiety over this stupid situation and what can I do to help it ? :(

You guys know that one tweet where user is like "I like pancakes" and the other one is "OH SO YOU HATE WAFFLES" that's me and my OCD eachtime- especially when I talk to my friends and others. Just now I was just chatting with a friend and I tried my best to sound lively and cracked some jokes and did some silly stuff- they were also talking about past experiences about someone and I feel as if my OCD makes me watch what I say which then leads me to being like: "Oh so (I really think about it, OCD is not liking the idea of me saying that)... nevermind. But I can say *blah blah*. (OCD did not like that.)" And then I had to walk and talk with a random classmate for a class question, I just went "So like *blah blah blah* so like uhm- I... then there's... yeah" and then I went back to my friend and went back to chatting. --- Class ends. I walk out of class, and instead of being like oh hey I talked to someone again, my minds like: "What was that?! Why did your voice sound like that??? You're not like this at ALL what are you doing?! Omg now they think you're odd and weird, when you said _ and did _ trying to be silly oh my goodness at this point just be quiet for the rest of the day. Gosh!" And etc. Instead of asking for reassurance, instead I'm just going to ask you guys, what are some embarrassing odd conversations you had with others? Or something you did out of character. I just need to feel less alone and not feel like an alien. T^T

Anyone here have some hopeful encouragement for those who are newer in their rocd/scrupulosity journey? I’m almost engaged to my boyfriend and I’m so excited but my mind is always telling me something is wrong when clearly there isn’t. I’m worried this will follow me into marriage and make it so hard for us both. I also fear not having a strong relationship with God because of the intrusive thoughts I face. I feel like no one around me understands so it’s very lonely. Could really use some hopeful stories ): I’m in therapy and taking meds and they have both helped already with some of it. I just get so down thinking about how hard it is for me to have a happy relationship vs other people

It’s easy to feel discouraged after a big win. I was so happy with my progress with religion and now im feeling anxious again. I have to wait for my dad to come back from work so i can go to confession again. I have guilty thoughts weighing on my heart. I must remember that i this is temporary. These things will come and go and i must do my best to live with them and not be controlled by my fear. I will pray for my strength and i pray you all have strength either your ocd. Thank you Nocd app as well for a community of people with similar issues, where we can share them and support each other

I have really bad health ocd, harm ocd and pocd. does anyone ever try to stop the thoughts when you're doing something and that makes them come on even more? it's like i can't stop it. does anyone also with pocd worry that this is just them now and they'll never be like a normal person. such a weird horrible feeling

I have rocd and and my partner and I got seprated because family won't agree for marriage ...as there is no future together we go through no contact but still I secretly managed to contact him but each time I contact and tell him the situation in my home ...he don't say anything bad but after call I replay conversation and stuck on any thought and think I said this wrongly now it harms me my family and think on extreme the circle continue after every call and each time a thought come and seems like this one is really dangerous and I have to work on this..I seriously not understanding is this real or ocd and how to overcome this if anyone know please give me solutions

I talked to a friend who never lost her faith. She came to visit us and told us the things she went through lately. What I already knew is that she saw her first husband pass away after a long time in the wheelchair, with his health declining slowly. She has a son with a disability. She lost a son for depression, not more than 2 years ago. As if it wasn't enough, her husband left after she discovered his affair, that felt like a stab in her back. This is a friend I admire with all my heart. Although life was not kind with her, she is the strongest and sweetest person I know. If she was the one to tell me anything, I would certainly hear and accept anything she had to tell me. She has more than the right to say something, this woman is the resilience in person. But she never, NEVER judged me or anyone else. Differently from others, who never went through half of what she has been through, she didn't have any judgmental words. Everything I know about her is that she always helped others, she was always selfless, always giving back the best although life gave her so many tears and pain. Despite it all, she always had an attentive ear, always had a helping hand to lend, always had consolation. This weekend, her son with disability ran away at night and went to the streets. We could call him and ask him to come back. Thank goodness he arrived today. But coming back to her visit, she was telling us about how many hurtful things she had to hear from people who are bitter and inconvenient. Then I noticed who are the true God servants and who are not. I don't even know if someone who says hurtful things to someone that has already been through so much has a heart, but I know God sees and God makes justice, I'm not the one to judge. But I understood that what God wants is us to stick together, that we give consolation and support to one another. Everyone who comes to their neighbor bringing humiliating words instead of a helping hand, trying to step on the mild person and hurt their heart instead of healing and compassionate words, I'm sure this one does not know God. Matthew 5 says: "3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." I almost lost my faith. But thanks to this friend, I will endure and follow her example of resilience. I refuse to become someone bitter, because if there is still good in this world, we still have hope. We are not here to judge anyone. And for you who read until here, don't hear unkind words from people who became bitter. Don't think the worst day of your life cannot be overcame. Don't be mean to yourself. Never doubt God loves you regardless of anything. Never doubt God's love. Never lose your hope. Sending hugs for you. You are not alone. Have a peaceful week. 🙏🙏🙏

I wanted to talk to people who obsessively ruminate over arguments with their significant other. This is definitely something I struggle with but I don’t hear it talked about often. I’ve definitely gotten better with it. If the conflict escalates in any way, I feel like I obsess over every detail and what was said and I need to keep talking about it with my partner to feel better. Sometimes multiple times. It’s hard for me to let things go.

I feel so alone, I swear I’ve had other themes but SOOCD seems to be the stickiest. And I feel like it’s been the most prevalent and the loudest. And I feel like I never see anyone talk about it. I feel like I’m the only straight women suffering from it and I just feel so alone.

18+ TW s*xual topics So this honestly started when I was 16, I was extremely lonely and not doing well. I got into splatoon 3 and became pretty good at the game. In one match I met someone who I thought was pretty chill and cool, we became friends. He seemed chill at first but that changed once he started asking if I had Discord. I told him no and I wasn’t allowed to but he didn’t stop asking from then. He’d keep asking every time we’d go into a private run on splatoon. I started crushing on him despite how creepy he was because he was so nice to me and we would always play together, which made me feel special. I asked him one day how old he was, and he was hesitant and we decided to do a guessing game. We were getting nowhere and so I just told him I was 16, he then told me he was 18. By now I was becoming suspicious of him being a p, but for some reason I didn’t care. I think for a second, I didn’t really mind that he was a creep and thought it was kinda hot to be with someone who was probably much older than me, who was sweet and caring. But I tried to bury that because that sounds insane. Eventually a friend of mine brought me over to a private run and told me he was a p. I was shocked, but also not surprised, but also numb? It was pretty obvious he was a creep, but because he made me feel nice I still wanted to be around him. But in that moment I felt conflicted, and I couldn’t bring myself to still stick around. I knew he was a dangerous person and I had to unfriend him. So I did. I still saw him in matches I played here and there but I would leave immediately. That experience, did something to me. Because after meeting and leaving that weirdo, I longed to feel that loved again, and so when I was 17 I went on a chatting site to talk to weirdos.. I know, I shouldn’t have but I did. I knew this people I was talking to were creeps and wanted kids, I didn’t mind it though because it was just me. And when I got my satisfaction I left the site, I never exchanged socials with them (I did once but I didn’t like the guy). After that I started imagining myself being groomed by an imaginary teacher who only had eyes for me and would do weird crap with me, and I’d do this to get off. When I turned 18 I stopped doing that because now I’m an adult and I don’t wanna be imagining that stuff anymore. But then my POCD came back and I started having dreams and getting bad thoughts, and checking, and arousal responses or whatever you call them, all which made me feel worse and like I liked the thoughts or at least the thought of an illegal relationship. I made decisions I wish I haven’t done and now those decisions are now haunting me today now that I’m 19. And the thoughts went away along with everything else for a bit, I mean it was still there, but it was mild and I felt like I was breaking free somewhat. Until about a few days ago when it started coming back stronger and it was my fault. I have a habit of checking to make sure I’m not still triggered by something, or checking to make sure I don’t feel aroused by something, and I’ve done that enough times that now things have amplified. And now I don’t know if I actually want these bad things or if I’m just checking to see if I want these things, or checking to see if something happens. Like I’d be sitting here and I’d already be feeling triggered, and I’d intentionally or somewhat intentionally say something in my head or imagine something in my head to try and see how bad things get? I think it’s to gauge my reaction or to check and see if my POCD is still there. Idk why I do this but I’m finding I do this more often when I’m already feeling hopeless about my life and am in a slump, basically not feeling well mentally. And idk why I do this, idk if I’m trying to self sabotage intentionally or what is going on, when it happens I’m not even sure why I would even try to do that, and I’d immediately regret it and start questioning myself and checking which only makes things worse and now I feel like this is just proof that this stuff keeps happening. I remember dealing with this same issue when I had depression like 7 years ago, and I didn’t even know why. It’s like my mind is like so fed up it’s deciding to give into the very things it doesn’t want, I don’t know why this happens but I’m scared. I feel like I like these bad thoughts. And it’s even worse when I’m having half awake dreams of the triggering stuff and I feel aroused but when I wake up I don’t even feel that way and it makes me wonder if I was even sleeping in the first place… Idk what’s wrong with me.. has anyone had similar issues?

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask but my sister has really bad compulsions and at first i thought it was ocd but as it turns out the compulsions are the only thing she actually experiences (maybe she could be hiding it but i doubt it) Are there any other things this could be? I remember she had a compulsion and for some reason she wanted me to rewind the show we were watching and i thought i was helping so i refused and she got so mad and she started shouting saying it needed to be rewinded. She herself says she its thinks ocd but i was under the impression ocd is obsessive thoughts and compulsions

I have been struggling on and off for weeks, months even and only now is it being realized as ocd I'm scared the thoughts are real and it's starting to impede my life and ability to go places and be around loved ones and when I'm alone they lessen but with people they heighten. I'm not quite sure my subtypes and why I have physical reactions to some of these thoughts? Why does my body react and my brain question yet the morals don't change.why does the brain do that when it knows the morals we hold onto? Especially to the point we feel it must be true..I'm terrified of therapy. But other subtypes were happening when I was younger and I didn't even realize.

Honestly, I’ve had an awful week. I spent several hours googling, had a few anxiety attacks, and several breakup urges. I feel miserable. I’m not really sure what to do because I feel like I’m in too deep of a pit to recover.

My friends told me that they don’t think I should be with my boyfriend anymore and it would be wise for us to break up. They looked back over the past 6 months of us and him being in recovery from a porn addiction and they said they see a different me because of it and the relationship isn’t healthy anymore. Now I am freaking out because what if God is saying to break up and they keep saying to surrender this to God and trust him. And my friends 6 months ago said she heard from God saying to “let him go” which also sent me down a spiral. I need help.

The entirety of my life I’ve been straight. I remember always being attracted to the female characters in shows/movies and even in younger teenage years loving girls. I would always check them out, and it was instinct. I was addicted to pornography for 6 years of my life. I’m 18 years old now and have been in 2 relationships with women. My first relationship lasted almost two years and I never once had a thought of liking men. Sex life was fine and I never once was interested in men. The relationship I’m in now is the happiest I’ve ever been. I found her incredibly attractive and loved her with everything in me. We’ve been together for 6 months now and she’s genuinely the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The past two weeks have been hell. I cold turkey quit my Lexparo around a month ago and starting 2 weeks ago I was laying in a “zesty” position and thought if I was gay. That’s when my life flipped upside down. I started paying attention to the way I looked, walked, talked. I keep questioning myself “if I’m gay,” and I would continue to ask for reassurance with my partner and family members. I don’t feel like myself and it feels like I will never be the same again. I miss being deeply in love with her. I feel like my mind keeps telling me I find men attractive at school when I don’t want too. I check to see if I find other girls attractive but I don’t feel anything. I feel emotionless (maybe because of stoping Lexapro). My mind played intrusive thoughts continuously of men bending over and me having anal sex. I didn’t want to be thinking of that stuff ever (but my mind says it’s not to bad, and “oh you’ll like it.”) I started taking Buspar which might has started kicking in. And Ashwaghanda. I don’t have much intrusive thoughts anymore but I still have symptoms I don’t like. I tried doing ERP therapy on my own by looking at gay couples but my mind said I wanted that and I liked it. But deep down I know I really don’t and I just want to be with the love of my life. I try and stop this anxiety by looking at straight couples which at first eased it a lot, but now it doesn’t do much. I tried masterbaution to straight porn, but then I checked to see if I liked gay porn and my mind said “it’s not so bad.” “You like it.” Even though deep down I didn’t want it and it’s not something I want to watch again. It’s weird because I used to be so disgusted by anal now my mind says it’s not so bad, but I want it to be bad. My mind now tells me that you want to be in a gay relationship and it’s so comforting and nice. But deep down I don’t. It makes me worry because I don’t want to find it nice. I want to be straight. I want my life back. I am tired of worrying about this 12 hours of the day where the only break is sleep. I miss being in love. I don’t feel motivated to conquer the world anymore. Is this normal? Sometimes I know for certain I’m straight but other times it feels so real that I’m gay (but I really don’t want to be). Sometimes it’s hard to see that though.

Im really scared of making this post if someone wants to read it just read it I might delete it bc I’m gonna get hate for it but it’s okay I’m just scared and yeah. I was never clinically diagnosed with ocd. I can tell you my story and why I’m 99.9% sure I have it. I feel just so bad and horrible like a liar. So it started when I was like 4 and I couldn’t sleep without my dad being in my room and each night I would wake up and felt forced to go to my parents room otherwise I couldn’t sleep. Then I got obsessed with the number three. When I was 10 I developed severe emetophobia and fear of contamination- I still to this day can’t eat anything in public with my hands. And now it’s hocd. I just feel like a fraud and mean and like I’m invalidating other people’s experiences and like a pick ‚em I feel so bad for it but Idk what to do I’ve asked my parents to get diagnosed but they. Say that I don’t need a diagnosis because it’s obvious that I have ocd but idk I just feel horrible

I started therapy last year and was diagnosed with OCD, I have a few physical compulsions but a majority of my responses fall under the category of Pure O (mental compulsions like rumination). It’s felt like a lot taking all this new information in and it caused a bit of an identity crisis and I just haven’t felt like myself in a while. I am single in my mid twenties so I want to date and have been dating but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to date when I feel this unsure of myself. But then everyone keeps saying you have to keep living even while the scary OCD thoughts are there. I just feel like it’s hard to present my best self when I still feel quite shaken up by a year of really intense OCD flare ups. Has anyone that has struggled with this or gone through something similar have any advice or insight?