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(Sorry this is long wondering if anyone may relate to this!) 🙃 I have this weird really annoying thing where when I try to focus or relax (basically 24/7) my head feels noisy where it will “play” random song lines or sentences that i can’t get out of my head and in a sense I talk to me brain silently with my mouth or whisper the conversation back or for it to shut up. I also read words wrong as what I’m saying mentally and I feel like my thoughts aren’t mine almost. It’s hard to brush my hair, teeth, change, shower, etc because everything around me starts playing through my head and any slight noise wether the house cracking or someone laughing in another room makes me freeze up and my head starts convincing me that it messes up the way I was doing whatever I was doing and I feel extreme anxiety around it where I avoid doing these basic tasks. I also feel the need to repeat words with my mouth after reading or hearing them even saying things I repeat the words silently after or in syllables ex; “the theh thuh” or repeating the word “like” and “yuh” until it feels right in my throat. I also feel the strong need and sometimes uncontrollable eyebrow movements, teeth “clicking” to songs in my brain, and weird jaw movements. I constantly think about my hair, the way it is touching my shirt “knotting” it and how I move to itch my face or head and doing it “wrong” which I obsess over movements for hours if I do. I also get very uncomfortable when I move wrong or touch anything wrong, and can’t shake thoughts about super minor things like someone bumping me or breathing near me and it consumes me and my mood can go from 100 to 0 like a light switch. I hate this and always think “why can’t I just stop” and doubt myself if I’m making this all up, but then again it wouldn’t drain me this much.

We'd put OCD on the naughty list...but if it wasn't, what do you think it would want for Christmas? A mind reader on call 24/7? The power to make you doubt literally everything? Share your OCD's wishlist in the comments—humor welcome.

(30M) Can anyone else who is struggling with scrupulosity help me? I have not been practicing ERP. I have a hard time believing it really does good. My OCD is largely focused around religion and scrupulosity, and I feel like ERP is just trying to make me ignore my sins so I feel better, while blinding me to my need to repent. I don’t just want to /feel/ better; I want the feeling of being in right relationship with God. I want the good feelings to come from that relationship, so I know they’re authentic. I don’t want to plaster over my sins with good feelings and pretend that they don’t affect me. What is your experience with ERP, and do you ever feel like I feel about it? How do you experience closeness with God? Does ERP help, or get in the way?

Feeling hurt and triggered by something my brother said Hi everyone, I just need to get this out and explain what’s going on. I’m struggling right now because my OCD is triggering really badly. Recently, my younger brother, who has autism, said something that really hurt me. He claimed that when we were kids, I kissed him on the cheek and that it felt “inappropriate” to him. I know that sounds shocking and painful — and honestly, it is. It breaks my heart that my own brother would say something like that about me. I want to make it clear that I would never do anything inappropriate. I remember being a loving older sibling, and I’ve always had strong morals and values. I only ever showed affection in innocent ways, like hugs or kisses on the cheek as a child — something completely normal. I also know that if anything harmful had actually happened, I would remember it. I’ve told other people about this, and they’ve reassured me that I should just ignore him, that he’s probably just trying to get under my skin or doesn’t fully understand what he’s saying. And logically, I know that’s true — especially since he even admitted he might have misread my intentions. But emotionally, it’s really hard. My OCD is making me question myself and spiral, and it’s painful to hear that my own brother would accuse me of something bad when I know I did nothing wrong. I just wanted to share this here because I need support and reassurance that what I’m feeling is valid, and that I’m not a bad person. It’s tough, but I’m trying to remember that his words do not define me, and that my memories and intentions were innocent.

I have improved a lot on my OCD, but sometimes it still flares up a lot. But I still have trouble deciphering what is OCD and what is an actual truth or feeling. since day one of being with my boyfriend, I’ve questioned my attraction to him (set aside OCD). He definitely wasn’t my type physically. And he wasn’t that adventurous, which is something I really want in a partner, but I remember our personalities clicked like no other and he treats me really well and he’s kind and he’s hilarious and loving and wise and very personable and all the things. one week I’m asking him when he’s going to propose, but the next week I’m telling him I’d like to date another year. I’m feeling incredibly anxious because I know he’s going to propose the in next few months. I have this feeling that I would be a better version of myself if I wasn’t with him and that I would be free and that I should be with someone who is pushing me into adventures and challenging me and that if we get married, I’ll just be falling into this comfortability that I’ve, always wanted to avoid since I was younger. I just feel like I don’t want to marry him, but I know he’s already planning on proposing to me soon. Idk what to do. I really really do love him. We’ve been dating about 13 months now and we’re best friends.

I’ve been struggling lately with my ocd because I haven’t been taking my pills right, mostly because I have an extreme fear of choking and it makes taking my pills really hard. I’m going to try to do better at taking my pills but this isn’t the point of this post. My newest ocd obsession is about demons, but I’ve had religious ocd my whole life. My ocd is mostly centered around the idea that if I don’t do something the right way, a demon or God or some other powerful entity will punish me. It’s always been that way, but it’s gotten worse lately. Now I’m afraid a demon’s going to possess me or manipulate my mind, and if I don’t remember doing something exactly, my mind is like “a demon did it for you so now it’s going to take something from you” (this last thing has been part of my ocd for a long time too). My mind has also latched onto a demonic character from a show, and it’s become the face of the demon my ocd is centered around. They have a symbol and I keep thinking I see it behind my eyes or on shows or in real life, and when I see something like it my mind is like “this is proof the demon is watching you.” I know the character isn’t real and it’s all in my head, but I’m afraid I’m going crazy. Like what if I believe I’m possessed and hurt someone? I don’t want to hurt anyone and I KNOW this character isn’t real, but I do believe in demons. I think God would protect me from demons, but the doubt keeps messing with me. This is really annoying and I need some advice, or at least reassurance I’m not alone in demonic/religious themed ocd.

Hey guys! Hope everyone is well. I have been doing ERP for about a year and a half now. So far my ocd symptoms have gone down a lot but sometimes I have flares that really take me down :( I’m not on medication but lately part of me has been curious about it. When I was in high school years ago I was on a small dose of Zoloft, but I didn’t like how it made me feel like a shell of myself- I felt kind of numb to my emotions. Is anyone here on a medication that works well for them? What was your experience like? Thank you in advance❤️

I've been dealing with OCD for some time now. I havent gotten the chance to get an actual diagnosis and meds cuz i cant let people know, here in the balkans its still a bit of a taboo thing to talk mental ilness. I've dealt with it on my own and managed to make quite great progress, I started doing ERP a few years ago and managed to actually learn to deal with it in a healthy way and try to live my life again. For some time it was rough and then it kinda settled in, for most of 2024 my OCD wasn't a problem. Here comes 2025 and I got a massive flare up, I had anxiety over driving school, religious beliefs (that was deeper tho cuz i deconstructed from Christianity) and relationship OCD. What I'm looking for is a bit of hope, maybe experiences of people who have dealt with really bad simptomps (im talking anxiety that makes you sick), that feeling that it never will go away, that despair when ocd pushes you into a state of inner reflexion and you feel disconected from reality. I know there isn't a cure but I also know ERP work and it can help massively. But it's so hard to fight it and it's so tiring, waking up everyday with that anxiety and doing your exposures (seeing results) but never actually feeling like you're getting to that place of peace. Like, IM BETTER, but I dont feel like im ever gonna be ok in the real sense. Does that make sense?

I don’t know what’s been happening to me lately i feel like i don’t know myself anymore i’ve lost interest in everything i mean in the things i loved doing it makes me even question if it’s ocd i’ve had so many types of thoughts of every type of ocd in the last 5 months i’ve had 5 different types of ocd i kind of had a relief for a couple of weeks that i didn’t question anything now this time that it hit me it’s worse i feel like im lost mentally like im not in reality i question every single thing more than i ever have and keep obsessing thinking that there’s actually something wrong with me i don’t feel the same love i used to towards the people i love or my relationship im just always in a bad mood and get so irritated easily i just feel like i lost myself i don’t remember who i am anymore and the fact that now i question every single thing and everything about my past is like what and sometimes i like laugh and feel like im just pretending to have ocd and that i’ve been pretending to be a person that i never have been my whole life does it ever get better?and like sometimes i feel like i can’t explain myself or what’s going on or what mood im in

sometimes idk what my purpose is cuz if im always fearing my salvation like it’s just too much if im not fully following him and just think of modern Christianity and I need to be so strict.

Hi - My name is Chrissy and I am new to this group. I want to connect with others that have potentially gone through the same struggles or have the same obsessions I have and have learned how to cope. I have indecision OCD. I figured out I had OCD about 2 years ago and realized how much it has affected my entire life and my relationships. My compulsions involve heavily asking for reassurance from loved ones and online research. I can spend hours evaluating the pros and cons before making a decision. Minor decisions like what to eat at a restaurant aren’t the issue but big life changing decisions are. What I’ve been obsessing about most of my life the past 3 years is whether to change my job and whether to have children. I finally got the right kind of help and worked with an ERP therapist for about 9 months. She got me to change jobs, making a career change, and start trying for children which has been great progress for me. However, I’m still constantly caught up in every single day whether this new career path is a good fit, how it will work with me being hopefully a mom someday, and whether I can manage it all while also managing OCD. My intrusive thoughts can be so bad that it can make it impossible to even work sometimes at all. I’m on medicine now that is helping me more but I still am so stuck in the same looping thoughts. I question all the time whether I’m in the right job, should I go back to my old job because the ability to work part time was there while the ability to work part time at this job is very unknown, or should I just give up and be a stay at home mom because I can’t commit to any one job. I think I have this fear that I can’t handle being a mom and having OCD and having a full time job. Additionally I feel like I have an inability to commit to a career path and growth in one direction because I’m terrified of getting trapped in a position I’m miserable in. I’m also terrified of how that misery or inability to balance/manage my OCD will impact my life for my children and my marriage. I live most days battling my what if thoughts. I’m hopefully not seeking reassurance through this post but I’m ultimately looking to connect with others who have similar struggles with indecision OCD and how you’ve been able to manage, especially when it comes to career. I also just want to share my story and learn about more ways this community can help. If this post is asking for reassurance then feel free to tell me and this post can be disregarded.

I’m 19 and I just recently starting having what I believe is intrusive thoughts. It really started to get worse with my boyfriend recently because I made myself believe I had somehow emotionally cheated on him even though I had no specific example , I just felt like somehow I did and I needed to confess and tell him because I was so guilty and felt so terrible that I could do that to him, I didn’t realize until now that could be from OCD…I also after that guess I had become really aware of “looking for attention” and a scary intrusive thought came in my head and it told me I had changed my outfit because someone in my family was coming home. I would never in a million years want to hurt this person ever, nor would I ever think that way but now that it happened it’s like I can not stop. It’s just constant and I hate the thought everytime it makes me feel sick but I can’t get it to stop. It has me worried that what if it’s not intrusive ? What if I wanted it or still do want it. But I don’t. But part of me feels like I do I just need help please.

This theme just keeps coming back again and again. I just feel like my evidence is TOO good yknow? I remember all the ways I sought attention, how my self esteem has always been terrible, how I never fit in to friend groups, how I coped by imagining I was special in some way, how I'm so judgemental. I love to yap about my interests, and am finding it increasingly hard to listen to others. I feel like I always have to put on a mask around others, it's like my brain shuts off and I go into "blank person" mode. I feel like nothing ever makes me happy, I always find a problem. I feel very empty inside. My mother is very smothering, and still wants to do everything for me. And you know the worst part? It's hard for me to say no! It is really convenient. However, I fight her a lot about this, I tell her I'm an adult with 2 legs, but she insists. This fills me with constant guilt and shame. My Dad seems to be a classic narc. And while I vowed to never use the tactics he does like guilt tripping, lying, ruining every big event, threats, etc, I do find in myself similarities that I worry about constantly (such as temper, impatience, lecturing, etc). Okay. So with all this said, here's why I might NOT be one: I feel guilt and remorse, like, all the time. When I upset someone, even if I initially thought I was justified, I pretty much always apologize after reflection and cool down. Another thing is, I DO have affective and cognitive empathy. However, I've been finding it harder to access it as of late, I often feel numb, maybe from checking my feelings all the time? I often put on a show of compassion that I dont feel in the moment, because I care about the other person. Also, I often catch myself judging someone and try to correct the thought. I'm hyperaware of all of my faults and failings, and I've prayed to God over and over again to make me humble. Finally, numerous therapists, as well as people close to me, have all told me I don’t have it. They often say people who have NPD don't think their behavior is a problem. But how true is that, especially with vulnerable narcissists?

i’m putting a TW just in case anyone is having a similar issue to me—i’m having a mixed battle of SOOCD and ROCD and i am looking for some advice. does anyone else feel this way? i have for as long as i can remember. whenever i find out someone has a crush on me and tries to execute their feelings towards me, i instantly get a pit in my chest and i want to avoid them as much as possible. usually if i find out they have a crush on me i’m like “okay whatever that’s fine”, but the moment they try to do something about it is when i feel as though i’m being suffocated. i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that A. i’m hyper independent and usually prefer to be on my own, B. i recently discovered i have an avoidant attachment style, and i have never been an affectionate person really at all, whether it be with family or friends. and C. most of the time, i barely know the people who crush on me and i get uncomfortable at the idea of someone thinking about or perceiving me in a way that is not reciprocated. it feels like a bunch of eyes are on me, and being independent and shy i hate that. i’ve only had about 5 real crushes in my life and i don’t think i’ve ever actually been in love—i think part of that is because i don’t really let myself form relationships often. i’ve always chalked it up to me being independent and shy and telling myself it will change one day and that it’ll happen if/when it happens, but i’m worried it won’t. i’ve never been the type to actively seek out relationships, just let time do its thing, which i usually would be doing right now but ocd decided to swing onto this vine like tarzan. i try to give myself slack because i’m only 18 and i have so much life ahead of me HAHA but who knows. weirdly enough i’m kind of a hopeless romantic because i love to daydream and fantasize about finding love, i love romantic situations and i often have dreams about finding someone, but then when it actually happens my body goes into self protection mode and i self sabotage in the end. worst part is once it’s all over i’ll feel like an idiot that blew a chance, and then the cycle repeats. i’m meeting with my therapist soon so i can hopefully resolve this because i miss how my life was before ocd started attacking this hahah anyone else this way and have any possible tips for me? thanks (:

I’ve been trying to have better boundaries with certain people in my life. I’m on the autism spectrum, so socializing has always been really hard for me. Either I mask to fit in and end up having friendships with people that don’t really fit me, or I over give my time and attention to people who have really hurt me in the past. This has made friendship in general feel sort of unsafe and I get really closed off sometimes. But, at the same time, I also do have a social battery that runs out and I truly just want to be alone and that makes me feel good. Most of my friends are neurotypical and have a hard time understanding this. It’s gotten to the point where I just feel scared and worried they won’t understand and I straight up ignore their messages. Then the anxiety builds and I start judging myself for this behavior without doing anything to change it, and then it gets worse and I avoid it even more. I know the solution is to just stay in contact even if I just say “hey! I don’t really feel like socializing right now”. I love the friends I have in my life now, but I just get overwhelmed. The problem is I slip into “what’s wrong with me? This shouldn’t be hard. Let’s think about every single other friendship I’ve ever had and analyze it to figure out what went wrong. They probably hate me or think I’m weird. I’m going to hurt again.” This increases the avoidance and judgment. I also am avoiding my dad for other reasons. The same things apply.

Ok so i was thinking about a past bad real event i had and it’s something im not proud of but then my mind seems to be making up random details to make the situation worse than it was and i can’t even tell whats real anymore. Has anyone had the same thing?

(I do not expect any diagnosis, but I just want to know if this is abnormal or if this is just a weird but fairly normal thing) I've been having odd symptoms for years, and really drastic mood switches to where I just brushed off aside for a long time but recently it's just been a bit too much for me. (And it isn't just being happy for a day then next day I'm sad) and it also affects my OCD symptoms as well . For example, one day I'm really in a good mood, I am extremely hopeful for myself and future and I am really well at finishing my tasks and I work towards my goals. I spend time on my hobbies and interests. And etc. (Aka this is usually my overall self/where I feel most normal) but then sometimes it elevates a bit and I also begin to feel extremely euphoric and important, my confidence is over the top, I feel almost unstoppable. (OCD and my dark intrusive thoughts/compulsions are poking at me at times still, but I fall for it less. But now that I'm happy, Health OCD hits me hard at times and I start to worry about my own health and scared if I'll die when I feel like I have so much left to accomplish and do.) Then the next I could either be extremely impulsive and I start doing whatever comes to mind, sometimes I end up regretting it later on and it doesn't help with my OCD at all. I feel like my thoughts are so quick and it gives me headaches, I start feeling really restless and like I can't do anything else. (My intrusive thoughts/compulsions elevate EXTREMELY and I start doing nonstop compulsions and I start panicking and feeling like my life is over, this is where I usually start having major urges on confessions over the smallest things.) And then not even an hour later sometimes, I suddenly stop and now I'm extremely numb and quiet- I don't talk to anyone and become nonverbal. I avoid everyone and everything. Even the TINIEST inconvenience could drive me into becoming extremely depressed and start insulting myself and I become to cynical towards everything. I start lashing out on everything and feel like the worst person ever. I start to say things like "I should give up why bother.", "I'm a failure", etc. Or I just feel extremely guilty and I feel like a major burden to everyone I love, I start seeing myself in an awful light and my goals fade. I dissociate a lot during these moods. (My intrusive thoughts become more dark and my compulsions take up more energy, I start worrying whether if this is permanent and if I'm an awful person. harm OCD becomes extra strong here and it sucks.) (Luckily, I have some self-awareness to at least let out my emotions when I'm alone, so I don't upset someone else. I also mask all of these emotions during school and normally only at that place. OCD still stays at the back of my head, and my mood is always just meh since I just don't like being in classes. But that also worries me into thinking "what if I'm just a liar ?") Sometimes I can feel one way for weeks and it suddenly switches to another, then it switches through every few days, sometimes I can go from the happy/manic to extremely despressed and hopeless in only a span of a few hours. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, also since I can have 10 fully different OCD themes play out depending on how I'm feeling : ( this also leads to me ruminating and worrying about myself and identity And it still affects my OCD symptoms, these mood swings triggers my mind to start having intrusive thoughts such as "Your impulsiveness only affects you right now, but one day it will lead you into doing something extremely horrible", "You are a monster", "You don't have OCD, you're just a mess", etc. I start freaking out worrying that's true or that I don't have OCD at all and I was just lying to myself all my life . So my overall question is does anyone else with OCD feel this way ? Or is this something I should look more into . Again, I know I can't have an overall diagnosis, (although I wish I could .) but I'm only looking for some insight "<:^)

Does anyone else have that one ex they just can’t get over? I’ve been recently feeling super lonely these past few days especially during the holidays and I just can’t help but be reminded of all the goods things that I’ll never seem to get back with that one person over a year ago.

We know OCD GETS WEIRD! Be okay with people noticing you looking at them because of what’s going on in your head. Or a sensation in your body which you believe doesn’t belong. View them all the same; it’s a symptom! Don’t prove it wrong by reminding yourself in your head. Tell it it’s wrong by going on about your day day by day as if nothing is happening.. ☮️❤️