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I recently discovered that I have maladaptive daydreaming disorder which is common for people who have OCD. I was diagnosed with Pure OCD six years ago but I felt that there was something different about my condition. My compulsions were daydreams and fantasizing about changing past events. I would do this on a loop and this behavior could last for hours. Has anyone else discovered this about themselves?

Thoughts and feelings about a specific person I feel horrible. My old friend triggers me so much. But thoughts about him don't feel like my other triggers. It's like there's a likeable, pleasant feeling, but I don't want to feel like that. All I want is to feel bad about these thoughts. When this happens, I feel as if my feelings and thoughts are real, as if I actually really love someone else, as if it's okay to love someone else other than my partner, as if I agree with it and keep it a secret. I feel something like a false comfort. But why do I feel false comfort towards this person in particular? What if I love that person and I don't love my partner? Why do i feel these feelings and what does that mean? Does that mean i actually love that person but i deny it, but also i actually know thw truth but im hiding it? What if i want to be with that person? What if my thoughts and feelings are the truth? I don't want any of these to be true, i don't want to feel any romantical feeling towards to anyone other than my partner. I don't want to love anyone else other than my partner. I don't want to be loyal to anyone other than my partner. I don't want anyone else and i don't want these horrible unwanted thoughts and feelings. I don't want to feel a comfort or likeable feeling when the unfaithful thoughts I have about others comes this time about him. I don't want someone else to have a different place in my consciousness. When I think about that person, I don't want to have thoughts and feelings saying "There's no problem in loving him, in fact, you love him anyway, I don't mind that." I don't want thoughts and feelings that normalize the things I hate. Additionally, I am very afraid that God will take my partner away from me and give that person to me instead.

I’m so afraid I’m a groomer- the thought is taking me on waves of torturous anxiety that I don’t believe I deserve to feel- that I’m a “monster” in my head I’m guilty till proven innocent. Lately I remembered a memory where I was playing roblox and being curious after watching a video I wanted to know of truly people were up to nefarious things in the game. Now my brain thinks I searched it to groom k*ds. I’m so shattered. So unclean and just so sick, I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. Can false memory include false memory of intentions? Could my intentions be screwed up in my memory?

How do you guys deal with religious OCD? I don’t wanna go to hell.. i’m so scared of blasphemous thoughts.. i feel like i force horrible blasphemous thoughts.. what am i evil? i’m seriously about to cry cause God please help me.. somebody please just help me

I often hear the advice “your emotions are valid” from therapists. What does this mean exactly? Also, isn’t the whole point of OCD therapy to learn to ignore and invalidate your feelings? Because it means you need to disengage mentally with OCD and thus ignore the feelings. That’s what I understand. But now I have comorbid BPD and Bipolar 2, so now my therapist for that tells me to acknowledge my feelings and that it’s perfectly valid to be angry/upset/sad/happy etc… It contradicts my OCD therapy or so it seems. Anyone able to chime in?

I've been shutting myself away lately because I'm so fu^king sick of this cycle of me turning into a g0ddamned baby and then hysterically crying for hours on end and having my family helplessly watch and not know how to help. Nobody knows how to help. I don't even know what I need. I want to give up and just stare at the wall until somebody can save me. If my brain isn't constantly distracted and numbed I'm spiraling. I switch minute to minute from being super depressed to hyper and talkative yet somehow I manage to hold it all inside. It's getting very hard to communicate/mask. Every night I feel fine. I feel scared and sad, but I feel the most normal at this time. When I wake up, it starts all over again. I wake up in panic attack mode and drag myself to work. I swear to god I can't help myself anymore. Nothing I do helps and it's too exhausting. I think I'm just gonna keep letting myself suffer because I'm so sick of trying to get help and then have it not help. I know this is just an episode but jesus christ it's so f^cking scary. I believe everything my brain tells me but I don't even know what it's telling me. All I know is there's this extreme PUSH to be flooded with extreme sadness and anxiety, and it's very REAL. I feel like I need to be locked up and studied. I truly feel alone in this condition because I genuinely believe there is no one in this world who has been having these symptoms the way I do. Four years of this, several mental health professionals, and I still don't have an answer. When will I be able to rest? Even reading this message makes me think "that's not me. where did I go?" There's not even a specific reason why i'm feeling so extremely horrible. It starts as a pure OCD attack about something and then before I know it I spend a week crying. Anyway I have work in the morning I don't know how I keep going and getting out of bed every day knowing that ending up like this is definitely a possibility. I really don't know how I'm still alive. Something is extremely wrong with me and no one seems to understand just how bad it is. What do I need to do in order to get someone to understand the severity of it all? I wish nothing but healing and peace and permanent remission for all of you tough souls ❤️

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 22... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

I disclosed my disgusting intrusive images to my husband and he's used it against me. We've been fighting and if we get divorced I'm afraid he's going to tell people. If people knew they would be horrified and I would lose all the people in my life. I shouldn't have told him. I'm so scared and angry at myself that I told him.

Is anyone else so exhausted of OCD being a joke? I’m wondering when laughing about mental illness became funny.

It’s not going well with my boyfriend and I (we’re long distance and he travels for work) and we’ve been arguing a lot - half of them cuz of my anxiety and half cuz of … both of us? My ROCD feels high but also I ask for things like - where is this going over the next two years? When can we meet each others family? So that I can feel secure and tell me ROCD to shove it. But his answers are that he isn’t ready yet especially cuz we’ve been arguing so much. My brain is telling me to cut and run. My ocd is telling me the same. Everything is yelling at me to leave. I’m so tired of this.

I pick my face as a coping mechanism for anxiety. I worry constantly. What r some things I can do to work through this?

Does anybody else ever purposefully try to create a false memory to see if your other false memories are not true? lol it sounds weird but I’m currently dealing with a false memory that I said something horrible during a conversation.. so I try to see if my ocd does that with other conversations. That would validate that it is in fact my ocd and not real memories. I hope that makes sense 😭

Hi everyone.! My name is Nick. I’m 29 and was diagnosed with ocd about a month ago and a half ago. Ever since 16, I helped my cousin who is diagnosed with schizophrenia. Also, I managed a psychology office/ clinic near my house up until 2 months ago. I get intrusive thoughts about me believing in one of the delusions that I heard while helping my cousin and with the patients I worked with. I heard everything from people thinking they needed to urgently flee to another area in the world to thinking the government is controlling the weather, air supply etc. I heard so much and my intrusive thoughts of me believing these things and losing control feels so real. Has anyone else ever had fear of psychosis? Thanks 😊

I just keep on having this feeling that « deep down I know I don’t genuinely love him » and I hate it because I want to love him and I want to stay with him I’m happy in this relationship and it has been three years

I'm trying to get a general idea of what the community believes. Yes or no answers only please. Once I get a good number of replies I'll follow up with info. Is your brain who you are?

So I was recently diagnosed with ocd and I have always been told since I was little that I have ocd tendencies but I worry that I am not ocd enough. Like what if I don’t have enough like things to address. Sometimes I worry that I’m faking it but I can’t tell the difference between what’s fake and what real

There is an exposure that I have been avoding because I'm so scared. Part of the avoidance was actually because there was no chance to do the ERP. Now that there is a chance I do not know if I'm ready. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety lately and feeling a little bit numb in terms of having a big anxiety attack but the sadness and worry is still there I just do not have the energy to react. That scares me too because when I have intrusive thoughts I'm just too mentally and emotionally exhausted to react but I'm still feeling sad, irritated, afraid, worried.... I'm worried about the ERP that will take place I'm worried that I'm not ready and it will make the intrusive thoughts and anxiety worse. Just writing about this is a little bit of an exposure. I wish I can explain better but you can see from the OCD theme what this post is about. I'm feeling calm and anxious at the same time (if that makes sense). How do I deal with this in the moment?

Does anyone constantly feel like they have to think about who they are and even who they used to be or it seems like you’re going to lose yourself. I’m also dealing with depersonalization so I feel like I’m going to just slip away

I don’t even know how to start but this is the worst type of intrusive thoughts i’ve had and it’s breaking me down.I really need to find comfort in this but have no idea how.I have intrusive thoughts about my religion and God which I can’t even describe in detail because I feel horrible about it.Its thoughts about death,contradicting my beliefs and saying i don’t like my religion and what I believe in,terrifying thoughts about afterlife. really need help with this It’s literally tearing me down and it’s sickening to me.I’ll try going into more detail if anyone needs it,if I don’t feel too uncomfortable.