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Worry about groinal responses while laying down and worry when i hear relatives voices. I adjust as a compulsion and worry if im arousing and if i dont move i worry am i dwelling.

I just had a long talk with myself about various points of OCD including false memories and pitfalls. It felt good, maybe I should have recorded it to remind myself at other times, despite the risk of it becoming a compulsion. But the fact is that I talked to myself about how I want to deal with things, how I want to lead my life despite this disorder. If I'm going to go on living, I don't want it to imprison me, I want to believe in myself and the evidence around me, I don't want to go over the same thing a thousand times. Like a door, if I have doubts about whether it's open or not, I only want to check once and live my life afterwards. I want to stick to what makes sense and not scenarios and a thousand bad possibilities that pop into my mind without me wanting them to. I know it's not easy just talking like this and it will probably come back to haunt me, but I want to feel sure of what I know and what everyone tells me: that I'm a good person. Every day I experience situations and many of them I have no way of making sure of, whether it's because of the rush of the day or for any other reason, and I realized that I end up dealing with these situations, I end up accepting the uncertainty without realizing it, I had never noticed that. I always regret not having made sure enough at the time of these false memories, when I still didn't understand OCD very well, but the reality is that it still happens today, it's not often that I check everything a thousand times and at the end of the day I don't even remember it anymore. I swear, I want to fight it, I'm sunk in sadness but I want to breathe, to feel relief, I want to break free. If I'm going to live this life, let it be with a bit of quality. I know that there will always be difficulties, but I want to solve them rationally and I want to remember that every day I deal with mental disorders and not with an "evil" that is inside me, as OCD tells me. I swear I'm trying.

How would you define the two differently?

I got into a relationship (fairly quickly but were both happy and if it doesnt work we can obviously just stop) but its been giving me MAJOR anxiety My friends keep telling me i should have gone to therapy and fixed this fear of relationships beforehand but I feel like if I do that with everything ill be forever in therapy coz of how much OCD changes. Its something new and scary so ocd has stepped in exept my ‘intrusive thought’ is the anxiety itself, im scared of the horrible feeling of feeling scared and sick I was sick last night from anxiety, which hasnt happened in a LONG time, and now im scared ive slipped back again, but this time instead of having a thought to disregard, how do i disregard the literal worst feeling ever? Its so horrid and makes me feel so sick, how do i just get on with that? I know i have to or it will keep happening hence the ocd cycle Is staying put in my relationship good? Because im scared of it, or should i leave?? I don’t want to but I don’t want this ocd either but i do love him a lot im just such a confused mess

Hey all, after being ok for a while, my ocd seems to have slipped back? However the thing is im not getting intrusive thoughts as such? So heres my question Is it possible for the ‘intrusive thought’ to be anxiety? Like you just feel anxious for no reason and want to get rid of it? Then get scared because it feels horrible and it keeps coming back? I know the ‘what if this doesnt go away’ part is ocd but man, ive never had this before and I feel scared and alone, and I dont know where to start Any advice is truly appreciated as I want to put in the effort to get through this as soon as possible Thanks all

Recently I’ve been having these spiraling thoughts that my intrusive thoughts aren’t bad enough anymore, so I am therefore faking OCD. Does anyone ever get this?

I was doing fine for over a month.. I was managing my ocd really well till yesterday. I was at my friends house for her birthday and she invited me, 3 other girls and 2 other guys and her bf but one of the guys look attractive he looked good but I wish that’s where it would end. But instead my heads like cheat or it felt like I wanted to cheat when I know I would never and I hate the fact that I even got that thought like why can’t I just find another guy attractive without my brain telling me to cheat. It felt like I wanted to cheat and I got so scared because why would I do that or get that :/ I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend I love my boyfriend. I’m scared that I actually wanted to cheat and I wanna confess to my bf so bad :/ but no like I know I didn’t want to but it feels like I did :/

Hello all! I'm in the process of learning more about my OCD and I've been growing my relationship with God. Recently, I've experienced a huge roadblock to what I would like to do in future-- and that has led to significant doubt in myself and God. To be honest, I believe this stems from my perfectionism and wanting to be in control. I'm a bit conflicted because I want to believe and trust in God, but I have doubts and I'm scared of making mistakes. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what did you do to continue grow your trust and faith in God?

How to deal with anxiety and obsessive thoughts about my loved ones travelling to a dangerous place for 3 months? They haven’t travelled yet but I’m so scared of losing them already

How can you tell the difference between relationship ocd doubts and actual doubts in a relationship? How can I tell if it’s my ocd telling me I’m not in the right relationship, or my actual feelings telling me that? Any tips? It’s so frustrating to tune out my ocd and hear my gut feeling.

Can I pls get tips excuse intrusive images, mine is like a lil movie that keeps play and I have a good imagination so that’s what makes it more scary

I reached out to one my older cousins wife she has been in family for long time so she watched me grow up, and she talks to my mom as well. I basically told her about my current situation with my siblings and their criticism toward me since healing in therapy and how my mom doesn’t defend me. I didn’t at all gossip about my family or try to make them look like bad people only wanted advice on how to cope and I feel like I could trust her because she’s level headed and very spiritual and so am I. So we had a short convo and she gave me some good advice and also checked back in with me. That was last weekend and I’ve been worried and feel guilt that it was bad or wrong to do that but I couldn’t talk to my mom about it because she was part of it, plus I just wanted outside perspective. And now I feel the urge to confess but I don’t feel I did anything wrong nor do I wanna tell my mom that I had private convo with her bc it’s my business as an adult. Sometimes idk how to cope with the urgency to confess and usually end up confessing but I genuinely don’t want to bc I don’t feel what I did was bad, everyone needs someone to talk to plus I wasn’t being gossipy about it at all.

I want to know please

Do any of you also have this feeling that you don’t love your partner and you are with them for the wrong reasons ? It feels very real. But I want to love him so it makes me sad. Is it still part of ROCD or does it mean that my feelings are a sign that my fear is true (that I really don’t truly live my partner). We have been together for three years pretty much. We have been in long distance relationship since this September and have been trying to fix our relationship for a year after a break up (due to my constant doubts and feeling that I don’t truly love him). I was so excited to visit him like a child before Christmas, now that I’m with him I realise that I don’t feel the way I thought I would: I don’t feel intense love and excitement and it sometimes even feel strange. I don’t feel much and I’m hoping it’s just because I need to get used to be around him again but sometimes I even feel suddenly that I’m with him just out of convenience such as staying out of fear of changing my routine. I do feel a bit of that for sure because I’m so used to have him around me and for me that without him my life would feel very strange and empty. But I want to love him so bad because like everyone I want to be in a relationship but also because it is a good relationship, he is nice with me, caring, I love to cuddle with him, we experienced a lot together, he changed me (in a good way), he motivated me to become a better person more motivated, he gives me confidence and I like to make him proud, when he spends time with friends or family I feel a bit sad because I wished I was experiencing what he is doing with him, I’m attracted to him and I’m obsessed with his smell, the way he cuddles me make me feel relaxed. Moreover he is a driven person, loyal, mature I imagine a successful future with him. Please help me I’m so scared to be in denial and to not actually love him because when we started dating it was kinda right time right place because I wasn’t attracted to him but he was nice with me and I wanted to have a boyfriend and I hoped I’d fall in love with time. I don’t want to start all over again with someone else and when we went through breaks I often compared others to him (e.g.: he dresses better, he is more interesting…etc (my bf that is)). I want to stop doubting and just love him and we cant continue together for years with doubts all the time … help

So i think i learned alot in this week, i was looking at the wrong thing cause i thought what i need to change is my emotions. Ive been searching why do i feel like this or that, why do i have bad reactions to some things but then i learned the emotions are just my reactions to thoughts, so the actual problem is thoughts. And i know people say dont try to change thoughts but people who actually understand ocd knows that your belief system what is making you have ocd, we have some distortions that we have to change. This is kinda misunderstanding for me too cause when i start to view it like this i see it like these thoughts has more meaning than just thoughts, like i gave them much more importance. I have suicidal ocd, and sometimes it feels so real. And working with that like this makes me think sometimes that i actually have a belief system that would make me act on this thought or if it not, i still have a belief system that supports suicide and those times i feel bad. Today i had a triggering moment too, so my suicidal ocd sometimes can be triggered really easily, like im listening a song and in the song i hear the lyric "i cant live without you" and im suddenly get the feeling and thoughts of "i dont want to live like this, i dont accept this". Funny is that nothing happens in real life, i jusz make a story up and then i feel like in that situation i couldnt survive, and yeah its not real but the thing that i have that thought and feeling of despair that i couldnt live, just scares me. Today i got got attacked by this, and i realized i pushed away the feelings cause i was so scared, but this just made me feel like theres an actual problem and im actually have a belief system deep down that supports suicide...im just denying it... i have to face it. And viewing like this doesnt make me think its ocd anymore its more like a real problem which makes me feel scared and guilt

My child is sick with atypical pneumonia. So far they’ve been doing well but up until now they’re still sneezing and coughing on my items and now all I’m thinking of is literally throwing things out, and not knowing how to disinfect certain complex items like my papers I use for my craft or clothes items, makeup.. just now they sneezed over all my desk items because they were playing around in my desk chair.. and I don’t want to throw anything away but I also don’t want to keep it if I know I can sick from it if I can’t properly disinfect it.. I’m so mentally exhausted..

I have relationship ocd I think and it’s ruining my otherwise great relationship. I have such a loving, supportive, and kind partner but my distress bothers them so much. I was going to be moving in with them in a few months and as I am autistic as well and they have adhd we were going to help support eachother and motivate eachother. I’ve been spending a lot of time with them lately just because they’ve been wanting me around (they used to ask for space and now they want me to be around since we are practicing for moving in together) and I honestly don’t feel like I should move in with them anymore. I feel like I’m too much of a burden. Last night their current roomate’s parents came over since they are in town for Easter and I got really upset when they asked me to participate in a game night with them suddenly. It upset them though that I was so upset about it. I thought I was able to share how I was feeling and they even interrogate me when they think I’m not sharing how I’m feeling and it just makes me question everything- my own feelings and wether or not I’m actually just a huge source of upset and stress for them. They always tell me they love me how I am and care about me and will always accept me but they are getting really fed up with being upset about me being upset. I don’t know what to do because I can’t help being upset and they keep telling me it’s okay that I talk to them about it but I don’t want to. I’m really worried that I shouldn’t move in with them because spending time with them lately has been so anxiety inducing. I even feel like I’m blowing all of it out of proportion and just wish I didn’t get so defensive and upset when they get upset with me for being upset. They used the word avoidant last night and it reminded me that all the times I’ve been vulnerable were just me giving them ammunition against me to trap me later for being upset. I hate this so much and I hate how I can’t feel calm and safe around them anymore because of my own fear of showing distress to them. Last night was so triggering and when I told them it upset me and reminded me of my own parents who have cut ties with me (going on 6 years now) when I came out as trans. I just don’t know what to do because I love them but just see how much I wear on them and upset them with my own feelings and reactions to things. Please help. Also just this weekend is hard anyway. Easter always sneaks up on me and this time of year especially is hard for me because of my past trauma that I experienced during this time of year. I’m so done putting my partner through it and just feel that they are going to leave me soon and just haven’t realized it yet. And Good Friday would be such a good time to make my exit I feel like . My partner and I are going to try couples therapy but every therapist I’ve seen and they’ve seen has basically said that my shame wounds are too deep and that it’s going to break us up and evolve into something toxic eventually (which doesn’t help my own fears of that already). I just wish I had my best friend back and we weren’t constantly fighting about my feelings and me having them and me being afraid to have them.

Does anyone else’s OCD randomly get worse on a random day and all you can really do is just try to survive the day? If so, does anyone have any healthy ways of dealing with this?

Anyone else kind of shoot themselves in the foot by imagining your false memory in such precise detail? Adding certain details, reactions scenery, real trivial details …etc. It’s like I know I’ve done this to myself but it now feels so unbelievably real. I think mine is also possibly mixed with real event which doesn’t help.

I’m really struggling the past few days constant awful intrusive thoughts from the second I wake up!! I know this is probs down to mostly ruminating but why does it feel like I’m thinking these vile things on purpose? Like I want them? Still trying to practise mindfulness but wow I feel very lost at the minute 😭😭