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the NOCD Community

Has you OCD ever used the word obsession against you? I'm assuming that along with our regular OCD thoughts that we accept the thought but not the content of the thoughts.

I have never been good about keeping a house organized and neat. I would throw things in drawers or whatever place and make it look decent enough. When I just lived by myself it was always thrown in one room. One room would look like a tornado hit it and the rest maybe decent. I couldn’t even keep it that way. I have my limits when it gets bad enough where and I go through this cleaning frenzy like my mom did when I was a kid. She would take an entire weekend up regularly turning the house upside down to clean it but by the time she was done you could eat off the floors. Everyone else in my immediate family are neat. My mother cleans things with toothbrushes. I have yet to see anyone to this day have as neat and organized house as my mom. She’s well known to be called OCD from those with a misconception about it but she feels driven and can’t stop with it. So, I think she probably is but anyway back to me. I am a mess a literally mess in my house. My mind would want to do tasks in certain orders. Like my mind would say I can’t start this until this other thing gets done and before you know it I am getting little done. So, she said I encourage you to just try doing something out of order. Ok, I did and now I have an absolutely overwhelming mess in my house. My brain can’t get passed thinking about it all the time and I can’t seem to get control of it! I am ADHD and OCD and I don’t know what’s driving what here or if it matters but I am terrified someone will come over yet I still can’t get this under control. Can anyone just not for whatever reason get their house straight to where they can enjoy other things in life?

Does anyone else catastrophize any little flaw that they don’t quite like about their partner?? There are things that my partner does from time to time that are weird and sometimes a turn off, and when I notice those quirky things he does I start to spiral because if those things bug me or turn me off slightly then maybe I don’t like him and I need to leave. I couldn’t even begin to try and explain the goofy behaviour because it’s so mundane and unimportant. It’s literally just Him being himself, and being quirky and different, and he’s a little more nerdy and awkward. And it hurts me so much because he is so amazing, but I catastrophize these flaws into automatic major deal breakers because they feel like “icks”. Idk what to do. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m not going to find a single person on the face of this earth that will be perfect. There isn’t someone that I will like everything about. Does anyone else relate or am I going crazy?

if you read it this far, I hope you know that all of this will be over, if you keep on fighting, you are one strong fighter, and with God anything is possible, and your not alone. I pray God will give you peace and joy🤍🫶🏼

Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well! I have a question to ask you! I have had SOOCD for a pretty long time now. So when I compare it to how it first started I rememeber that I was like " this is not me" or "what is this", I could'nt even imagine myself in a sexual situation with a women without saying "not for me no way" and everytime I used to see lgbtq+ couples on social media I used to get soo triggered and just scroll down. However fast forward 6 years, the thoughts bother me less, its like I actually like them, if I imagine any scenarios it feels "real" and I volontarly look up lgbtq+ couples which gives me a sense of peace? ( my therapist said that it was a complusion and a way of telling myself if it ever happens I'll be okay but im not so sure of her analysis). Looking at what I just wrote, I know that some of you are gonna say its the backdoor spike etc... but it just feel like I was in denial and year after year Im finally "accepting my true self?". Which scares me a lot because im in a relationship with my bf of 6 years whom I love ( as a friend or as a bf? idk at this point) and I dont want to throw everything away!!! or if I dont, Im sacred to realise in 3 years that Im actually into girls and have wasted 9 years of this guy's life juste because I was "scared". I dont know if any of you have had this for soo long to get to this point.... It doesnt help that I saw a tiktok of a bi girl saying that when she used to date guys she was in total control of her emotions and it was nice and confortable, but when she started dating girls she literally felt "honored to be able to share her life with her gf and to touch her and to be with her and can't believe that her gf chose her and just feels like she literrally cant breath around her from the love she feels". totally triggered.

my ocd is being the most annoying thing in the world right now. my intrusive thoughts keep telling me to cut myself and its keeping me from falling asleep. i have to be up in 5 hours. i dont want to and im not gonna but i feel like i have to to make the thoughts go away. this is really hard :(

Big oof. We just put in an offer on an older home. Great bones just needs some love. I have such anxiety though bc the electrical is original from when the home was built in 1965. And I'm terrified the house is going to burn down and take all 4 of my dogs life's. We are getting the electric rewired but it'll be abt 2 months or so before that even starts. I can't sleep and I'm having night terrors. The house is too good of an opportunity to pass up! I know it'll probably be fine but the unknown is quite literally keeping me up. *pros The fire department is .5 miles away from the home lol Ugh. I know I should feel so fortunate to be able to even do this but, I'm terrified.

TW: talk of cancer I don’t post on here much, but I’ve been dealing with Health Concern OCD my whole life. I am constantly searching for mystery illnesses that could be causing even the slightest discomforts in my body. My lymph nodes are swollen, I am trying to rationalize my thinking by saying I could just have a cold. However, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am terrified of having some form of cancer/lymphoma that I may not have noticed until now. I am restless and unable to sleep, all I can think about is what is going to happen if I get this checked out by a doctor. I want to know why this is happening in my body, but I’m scared that my worst nightmare might be true and if I was too late to get seen. I’m feeling very defeated, and trapped in my own head. Nobody knows how debilitating my OCD really is because I put on a very good facade of seeming like I’m cool calm and collected. Most of the time, I’m freaking out over the smallest changes or feelings.

So I've realized a couple things about myself. I don't think I was every great at socializing. I don't know what made me act the way I did with socializing at certain times when I was a kid, but I still kind of do it now. I'll blurt out noises or words here and there, but most times I'm pretty decent with talking with people. In the last though, I was bullied. I remember being picked on a bit by someone in the second grade, 6th grade, and definitely in high school. Some teachers I think have left a negative impact on my self esteem as well. Some of them were very unfair and very critical of their judgement. I hated my teen years and hated high school. I often don't recall memories in full of that time which is probably due to my mind doing its best to block out most things that happened. I remembered the students that didn't treat me fairly and I knew that some of them probably thought very low of me. There were times where I stood up for myself but most of the time I kept to myself and didn't really find my footing until my senior year. I found a friend group, and I got better with grades. Just when it was actually getting somewhere, I was no longer a high school student and graduated. There were definitely fun moments in school for sure. A lot of them. But, I latch onto the negative ones more than the positive ones. I honestly don't know why I do this, but I know my self confidence and self esteem are low. It's not because of my parents or my family. It's because of how I handled things in school along with how well I was able to socialize with other people. I made another post talking about socializing and how people can just be so good at it. Always knowing what to say to start a conversation and whatnot. I don't understand how that can be but I would like to learn all of it.

Hi everyone, I felt a strong need to post and say this. I used to struggle with severe and debilitating OCD for about two years of my life. I’ve always tended to have obsessive tendencies, but 2 years ago it got severe and I was drowning. My OCD affected my relationships (family, friendships, boyfriend) etc. I mean i’ve had pretty much every “theme” imaginable. I just want to let you know that there is more hope than you could ever imagine. I no longer have disordered anxiety nor struggle with ocd. I have never taken any medications and have only done therapy once for a few months over a year ago. You have every single tool within you already to beat ocd because it’s so much smaller than you could ever imagine. I know you’re probably waiting to hear how I healed myself so here it is, I left it in God’s hands. Now before you turn your phone off and throw it across the room just hear me out. Take the focus off yourself and Read. Your. Bible. It is that simple. Stop focusing on yourself and hyper-fixating on every single thought or feeling that you get. Let it go. Give it to God. It is not your battle it is His. Healing is so much more simple than we make it out to be. You are not broken, you are perfectly capable of living a regular life, you are always in the center of mental health. January 27th I sat down in my room bawling my eyes out in the middle of a panic attack and said to myself: Psalm 139:14 “For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, no weapons formed against me shall prosper, For I know the plans I have for you, not to harm you but plans to give you hope and a future. For walk by faith not by sight” I sat there crying with my eyes closed and said that to myself about 20 times out loud and I felt a warm glow in my chest. That was the most peace I had felt in over 2 years. I read my bible almost everyday and I am healing quicker every single day. You are strong. There is hope. God loves you so much you are so amazing. Tips: -Buy a bible ($20 on amazon) or rent it for free from a library. -Pray daily (it doesn’t matter when, how, or about what, just talk to God because he’s your best friend) -Listen to Girls Gone Bible (or any podcast about strengthening your faith) -Don’t pay any attention to your thoughts let them pass on like leaves in the fall. -Go checkout @peacefromwithin on instagram ( I’m considering starting my own podcast to share my testimony and give tips on how to manage ocd/anxiety lmk if anyone is interested bc i have so much more to share:) You are SO loved.💌

Don't understand ocd, especially so ocd, i'm so sick of people coming in here and saying "well there Is nothing wrong with being gay i don't understand this" yeah i know???? I'm literally in an ocd space so why assuming it's about me being homophobic? If I could stop obsessing I wouldnt give a f!ck about being gay, I hate people so much. There are so many people trying to trigger us on this app, like how evil to want to hurt people who are already suffering.

For the last few hours I’ve been in a state and confused and I’ve been crying and it’s been bad please help I know reactance isn’t the answer but I’m really suffering and can’t go to sleep until I figure this out please

i’m panicking because i remember when i was younger when i was 13 i found porn on instagram and i was scrolling and i was pleasuring myself and was always trying to make sure the videos that i was watching weren’t bad like someone being forced and i remember as i was scrolling while pleasuring myself i came across a video and it looked like a movie but the man was on top of the woman and she was crying but i don’t know if she was crying because of that im not sure but im pretty sure it was a movie or something and i still pleasured myself but not to that video but like just thinking about something else and the video just played in the backs it i had my eyes closed and i didnt watch it but it worried because what if i did watch it and pleasured myself while watching the video, i feel like im going to throw up i cant handle this, i wish i never got exposed to porn at such a young age

I’ve been doing a lot deep thinking and I finally learned that ocd comes with the possibilities it doesn’t mean that who you will be it simply means it’s out there and to be aware of it. I know I’m a confident straight woman and nothing will change me. Also always remember that everything is a choice you don’t have to be with someone or do something you don’t want to do. Always remember that!!

It’s a long post. 🙈 I’m embarrassed. Brand new diagnosis. I’m 40. My OCD subtype seems to be “Order and Symmetry.” 1st session I arrived feeling good. I finished all the homework early and was excited to begin. We didn’t get through the full assessment; I’m pretty sure I talked too much. I was too detailed and we had to finish at today’s appointment. I arrived at today’s appointment stressed and got more stressed as the appointment progressed. I only realized a day or two ago that there was more homework (which I don’t mind- in fact, I enjoy!), but then, after I made note of it, I forgot all about it until signing in today’s Zoom. We spent the whole appointment completing those forms together. I had terrible difficulty doing the forms with my therapist. I was/am so afraid of answering a question without a true enough rating or expression of my experience to give an accurate assessment of my condition. I don’t want to over score or underscore myself! I only experience my life, so I’m not always sure if something’s unusual- it’s just my normal. Even though 3 professionals have now mentioned I should look into treatment for OCD, I still feel like treatment professionals will think I’m not OCD enough to warrant the attention. On the outside, I’m fully functional. It’s only once you start to consider the whole picture- my social habits and motivations for organization and having knowledge of what’s in my brain- that an outsider might put the pieces together. Now that I’m cognizant of its presence in me, so many things make sense. But I second guess myself when talking about it to treatment professionals or completing rating forms. I almost feel like I need a whole bunch of talk therapy first for verification that- yes, this is a manifestion of OCD, or that was, or that was. Figure out what it is and what it looks like in me, before the real work on behavior modification can begin. Or more time for me to explain what OCD looks like in my head first- like following certain rules or processes to keep life ordered and calm, and then making certain accommodations and new rules when something can’t be avoided- and of course, the people in my life have no idea when a rule or formula has changed and are caught out in the dark! 🤣😩 Therapist told me not to be hard on myself, told me not to overthink it, but I felt like she was frustrated with some of my answer paralysis during the assessments- not knowing how to scale myself. And goodness, I’m not throwing shade. I’m just stressed about getting it right! And surprise! We didn’t get to all we were supposed to in today’s session!

I’m new to this theme but I jsut thought a really disgusting thought/image and it was like a sequence of me doing something disgusting and now idk wha to think why the hell am I thinking it on purpose and imagining it on purpose what does that mean why do I not feel disgusted and why am I willingly thinking of it with no anxiety and no disgust. At the start of my ocd when I had harm ocd I was terrified of thinking of harm thoguhts and wanted them to go away and now I’m deliberate thinking of these disgusting pocd thoughts on purpose

Has anyone here ever been able to get relief from an intrusive thought by ruminating and going over and over it in their memory to try and figure it all out? Is it even possible?

I’m trying my best to resist the compulsion of seeking reassurance with a friend, I really really want to text her and tell her my thoughts to see what she thinks about it, but I know it could be a compulsion :(. Any tips for keep resisting?

I have trouble feeling like I even love my partner. Like I see those OCD memes like ‘when I love my partner so much and I’m so in love but then have intrusive thoughts about our relationship’ I’m like … how do you even know you love your partner lol. I feel so identified with my intrusive thoughts I feel like they ARE the relationship, they ARE my feelings, and constantly feel that lack.

I was fine for so long, didnt have any intrusive thoughts, but i saw something on facebook that triggered a form of ocd i thought i recovered from over a year ago. Im so afraid that there is something wrong with me. I’m so afraid what if i do something super horrible that i don’t want to? What if i go crazy and something bad happens because of me? I dont want to have these thoughts i just want to be normal.