Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Does anyone happen to know of a community similar to this for people with ADHD that you don’t have to pay? I am not abandoning this one but thought the more support options the better. Thanks!

I'm curious if anyone else thought they had a different illness or has even been formally misdiagnosed. For me, OCD *always* came up in Google search results when I was looking up my symptoms. But I always dismissed it thinking "there's no way I have that!" because of my false preconception of OCD being purely about cleanliness and counting. My symptoms involving mood swings and my obsessions/insecurities with how other people perceive me made me believe I had BPD for several years. Even then, it didn't feel right. I felt sort of bad discussing the possibility with my friends because I still thought "but it doesn't feel as severe as they describe it..." It wasn't until my recent (and so far worst) flare up that I specifically searched for intrusive suicidal thoughts that I discovered suicide OCD is exactly everything I had been experiencing. I cried with relief, knowing I wasn't simply going crazy.

I am new to this. The first two sessions I thought were kind of hard but I left them feeling excited for a future of growth and healing and breaking out of OCD’s grip. This last session was more intense and my compulsions ramped up after; I feel exhausted & I’ve tried sitting with my feelings and it does help them calm a bit but they won’t go away entirely and I’m edgy, exhausted and discouraged. I hate OCD.

(Very triggering rant) If you’ve read a previous post of mine, my partner and I have been invited on a weekend long trip by his coworker. It’s to a comic convention, which I’ve dreamed about attending with my bf for many years now. Here’s the issue: It’s in a crime-ridden city, it’s over a duration of days, and..Well, it’s with my boyfriend. My family is painfully strict. Last year, I asked my family if my bf could visit me at my college for my last formal. I had intense paranoia leading up to asking, and my therapist had reassured me that my fears were senseless. And yet, my intrusive thoughts came true. My parents were so upset that I would even consider such a “dirty,” impure thing as inviting my bf to stay at a DIFFERENT DORM over multiple days, and to attend a dance with me. My dad insisted to me that “no man or women can ever resist temptation” (his words not mine), and concluded that I’ve clearly been sleeping around (I’m a virgin) and will get pregnant and ruin my life if he visits. After contending them on these insane accusations, I had my spending money taken away. When I asked for certain information so I could get a job to make money, I was screamed at and they refused (I wasn’t allowed to get a job until I graduated college). Eventually, it culminated in my parents threatening to disown me for “choosing to betray the family” (their words, not mine), including preventing me from contacting my sisters. They told me they were ashamed of me, that I had become God-less because of my boyfriend, that I’m not even the same person. I was silent from shock. My parents did not like that. And so they lied to my sisters and told them that I was willing to give them up for my bf, which I never said. That one action drove me over the edge. I gave in. Immediately my parents were all loving and sweet. That sudden shift was terrifying. It reminded me of television, it was that unsettling. Now, a year later, I want to ask to go to this event, but I’m TERRIFIED. Not of them saying no (because I figure they will say no), but of what could happen if I EVEN ASKED. My boyfriend wants me to stand up to my parents and ask, but I think it’s a horrible idea. I don’t think my boyfriend quite understands what I went through last year. It was TRAUMATIZING. My family pretends last year didn’t exist. They haven’t brought it up since. But bringing this new trip up, well, that could unearth everything. I’m terrified.

At this point I am so confused and unsure if I have ROCD, I’m not seeing much of anything that sounds similar to what I am dealing with and would like some clarity. My issue isn’t so much “I’m so in love, but doubt it”, it’s not so much thoughts of “what if I secretly don’t like him”, it’s that I love a lot of things about this person, but get “put off” or “not attracted” feelings from different behaviors of his, to the point it feels like I’m dealing with a different person, like a kaleidoscope. In these moments it feels like my emotions and feelings are constantly changing. I can’t tell if my OCD is nitpicking his every gesture, mannerism, hobby, and interest, or if his personality just doesn’t resonate with mine. And I don’t want to be so obsessed or anxious over these feelings or being convinced I urgently need to figure out if these feelings are bad or if they mean I should leave or if I can handle those off putting things for the rest of my life. I’m so confused and lost

Am I bad person? My mom passed away from brain cancer a few months ago. A friend of mines mom also has cancer. But their mom has been improving and doing better. While I’m happy for them I’m jealous that they get their mom to be able to recover and mine died. I feel really bad feeling this way but it just doesn’t seem fair

I was changing my baby’s diaper this morning, and I struggle with horrible intrusive thoughts that I have inappropriately touched my children anyway. The thoughts of now is your opportunity or you can do it now, or some thing thoughts came into my head. I knew what was happening. I proceeded to wipe my baby’s butt cheek, and it may have not even needed, wiped anymore, and part of the wipe touched his butt hole. So now I may have intentionally done this following the thoughts so now I for sure intentionally touched him in appropriately because he may not have even needed wiped right there again but I did it impulsively with the absolutely disgusting horrible thoughts in my head. Did I actually touch him inappropriately now? Why didn’t I just not wipe and put the diaper on? Especially if he didn’t need wiped!!

It’s so lovely to have a micromanager as a boss. I have contacted hr to fill out fmla papers to protect myself. She has no compassion for anyone. It’s so hard to get to the office with traffic, jurors and an awful parking situation. Add insomnia to that, and you have a problem. If I was sure I’d like the workplace nearer to my house, I’d try to transfer, but I don’t know. I can’t stand my boss. I wish she had issues that tortured her like I do. She deserves it. I went through complete hell yesterday and today, she gives me grief. Get lost

does anyone else really struggle with feeling like their feet are uneven when walking on sidewalks that have lines or floors that have indents. For example; if a certain part of my left foot touches the line (like the middle of my foot) as i walk, i have to touch the line on same part on my right foot. Also, having to even out which foot i start and end with for each sidewalk square, like if i end on my right foot more than 3 times ina row i start to feel the panic set in and end up having to do stutter steps to even it out. it’s really embarrassing, especially when i’m with people or people are around. it can also be quite exhausting.

The past two days felt like hell! But here I am, I got through it! Lapses for me are now few and far between, and they don’t last nearly as long, but boy, are they debilitating, paralyzing, and scary. For me, the hardest thing is getting up and keeping moving, which is the best thing for me. I felt paralyzed, but got up and went to work, and I found myself feeling great at work once I had a task to focus on! Someone suggested writing a list of things to do for the day, and that stuck out to me as a helpful way to “get up and going” when j feel paralyzed by my OCD. I wanted to share this technique because u found it SO helpful. I still went to the coffee shop in the AM (even though j decided not to get caffeine and stick with water) since it’s part of my routine, and I think going about my day as “normal” as possible was key. It was HARD AF but I HELPED PULL ME OUT! Find the inner strength you feel like you don’t have, but you DO. Keep fighting! 화이팅! 💪🏼

Hello I’m going crazy, literally. So I have a boyfriend that I love so so much, he’s my everything and I would anything to live all my life with him. However, my rocd isnt helping :( this is my first year in college, and I’m getting way too much male attention, and I really don’t know how to react to it never really got any attention like this when I was younger. Every time a guy hit on me or is even nice to me, my mind tells me yeah you’re in love with him! I hate it so much my boyfriend is the only guy that I would ever love, I just don’t know how to make the thoughts stop😭If you have any advice please help! Am I the only one?

Anyone please help !!!!!! How deal with checking things and when u look at it's okay but ur mind not ready to accept like When u off the stove of the gas u can see the flames goes off the sound u heard from the button and the positioning of the button....still u look closely to it and try to figure it out...is it actually off or not !! how to deal this...

Does anyone else struggle with p*rn and ocd. I feel as though ive watched something terrible or i got off to something terrible and if i did i only did it once but i cant forgive myself to move on. I feel i want to die.

Whenever I have thoughts about things that are hard for me to handle I have intrusive thoughts about letting myself die and go to hell and I'm tired and I'm worried that I carelessly agreed that I wanted to die and go to hell and now I'm scared what if I ended up agreeing to it!? I'm panicking. I know God knows my heart and I'm really tired and the thought happened when I was under stress but I had an intrusive thought saying I wanted to die like that and I think I carelessly agreed to it (although I know fighting your thoughts makes OCD worse)

I love the fact God is a loving God. But I also hate the fact that because of that it means that everything I do is my fault, like going to hell. I am going in spirals reading things to see how to believe or how to be saved, called out to Jesus. Scared that I will never produce fruit of the Spirit (Event hoguh Jesus does it in our lives) and that God hasn't written my name in the book of life... I want new desires but I have none, I get very scared of the book of James in the bible or lukewarm in Revelation. Matter of fact I don't even know how to repent, my heart isn't right and I just wish that I had the gifts of the Holy Spirit...

i just downloaded this app. recently ocd has been absolutely exhausting. I have really bad issues with feeling body symmetry and needing to feel like my body is even; if that makes sense. Intrusive thoughts have become louder and are affecting my relationships, i feel like a burden. i’m hoping to find some support and sense of community here as i try and learn to better manage.

Hi Everyone! My boyfriend just started his Zoloft journey about 2 weeks ago now (he has Pure O). The first week it seemed to kick in well and he was having an easier time dismissing his intrusive thoughts leading to less compulsions. However this second week he seems distant and zombie like…. I know they said it takes a month or 2 to fully work but I’m hoping this zombie like fog will diminish. Does anyone have any advice or similar stories or suggestions on their experiences with this medication?

I’ve suddenly developed these obsessive thoughts not even 2 days ago. “What if I’m a pedophile” “what if I want to harm children” I’ve been researching a lot seeing the differences, I can’t sleep or eat because it’s keeping me up. I’ve never had thoughts like these, I’ve never had/don’t have intentions of harming a child or anything like that. But I still have an irrational fear and I don’t know what to do. I just want this to be over and to have reassurance that I’m not and that I’m a normal person but I know that if I do It’s just going to get worst. I’ve never even had thoughts like these before but I question if I did in the past and I didn’t remember. I don’t have access to therapy either I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t think I’ll get better. I want it to be like how it was before being normal and living my life without this.

What do yours feel like if you get them?

why do I get one for no reason? and why is it so strong and overwhelming? i ended up doing the m-sturbation compulsion to get rid of it and i kept thinking of different images to see if it made the feeling stronger and it did and it scared me so i just stopped thinking about it. but im scared im too far gone. im scared im genuinely a p. im scared im a fraud and genuinely fooling everyone. this compulsion i have just seems like an excuse to get off to this. im so sad. anxiety is low, shame is high. i use to have a lot of anxiety about this but it’s gone down a lot. I would rather not be on this earth than be a p. what do i do? why does this compulsion happen? does this compulsion mean i like this? even if the sensations feel like it does?