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Can someone tell me how meds vs no meds effects your OCD?

Yesterday was hard, and have probably spent the last month doing mental compulsions and taking up 12 hours of my day. Yesterday I also dealt with a combo of SO-OCD and Harm OCD. I woke up zero anxiety this morning and the thoughts are still there. I was still doing compulsions in my sleep. I woke up with a thought that said “you’re a lesbian or bisexual, just accept it”. It’s scary when the thoughts come in first and second person. But I feel calm, none of the thoughts I’ve been fighting the last month are anxiety inducing. I just feel like they don’t bother me, and it scares me. I’ve been dealing with this theme for the last month and the first week I didn’t sleep, I was crying and throwing up. I really don’t want to be with a woman, and I know of the backdoor spike. I don’t see myself dating a woman. I just want to be with a man. It makes me feel like I’m in denial. I just have to trust that what I’m experiencing OCD and let the thoughts pass. It’s the backdoor spike, I’ve read all the articles and know that I’m dealing with SO-OCD and the backdoor spike. Those articles brought relief in the beginning, and just need to stop going back to make sure. I’ve also been on Sertraline and can’t really cry. I want to scream but I can’t. This part of recovery is the hardest. The thought of what if this is not OCD and I’m really bisexual or a lesbian creep in? Of course this is all classic OCD. Having to let the thoughts pass by. Going to try my best and just be present.

I’m 23 years old almost 24 and when I was 20 I was so obsessed with the idea of being an mma fighter so I trained for a bit and then almost had a fight and in the midst of training for it I started to get really really anxious and wasn’t really sure if I wanted to do it (not so sure I like actually fighting as much as the idea) I ended up not going through with the fight and after that everything went bad for a while with severe panic attacks and constantly searching google for answers and my girlfriend was studying a book about a psychopath and from that point on I was in distress that I was going to turn out like a pedo or killer constantly searching for answers trying to figure out what was going on cause the thought of harming someone made me ill and panic and cry for days on end. I finally got over it by working and I ended up starting training again and I fought once and lost and I had some anxiety towards it like normal but here I am in the midst of training again and now I am stuck on do I wanna do this do I like this or do I just like the idea of it and I’ve been having off an on serious anxiety about it and I’m not really sure I’m so confused and scared because I don’t want to regret not doing it but I can’t seem to figure out whether I enjoy doing it or if I just like the thought of it. I’m not sure if I actually have ocd never been diagnosed I have an appointment soon with someone who hopefully will help. Sorry for the long post but Idl what else to do

I wish more people knew what OCD really is, how it hurts and how we are living with it! But I'm afraid of people starting to judge us, especially in relation to taboo topics... I'm afraid of this happening and making our situation worse. People are very judgmental, they always want to have an opinion, even without having complete information... Has anyone thought this too?

I’m not feeling great whatsoever. Had another nightmare. Did so much research last night about the risks of cold sores and of course freaked myself out. It’s Day 3 maybe 4 or 5 since they say shedding happens 24/48 hours prior. But anyway, I thought my son was acting odd yesterday, his eye got red, he’s not listening to directions that well when I tell him not to touch. He is delayed and on the spectrum so it’s a little difficult for him to follow through and he can be impulsive so it’s making me worry even more he’s spreading it everywhere on himself. He was super sleepy yesterday and it caught me off guard, he wasn’t feeling hungry either which made me think the worst. I almost thought of taking him to the er yesterday. I think he’s totally fine this morning just sneezing and coughing for normal sick but I’m scared of what else to expect. The cold sore doesn’t look terrible it just looks scary.. to top it all off I have small cuts all over my hands (from washing them so much) and have no idea if the virus entered through there. And it’s making me worry about myself too.. I don’t know what to do. I feel hopeless..

i want to share some examples of my intrusive thoughts (ROCD) - What if i have lost feelings for my boyfriend? - What if we are “too far gone” and cant fix the relationship? - What if we arent meant to be? - I’m feeling weird and distant today, and irritable. Do i hate him? - What if i do hate him? What do i do? - I found someone else attractive. Am i a bad person/being unfaithful? - I can’t stop thinking about the rough patches we’ve had. Should i just end it? - When i try to picture a future with him now, its very hard

I believe I was in elementary school, maybe 5th grade? I already long had ocd at this point, especially the 'I have to do this specific thing or else this bad thing will happen'. I didn't know why this was or why I thought like this at the time. All I knew was I didn't want to be like this. I was already the werid loser who got severely bullied in school and my mom was really harsh on me talking about my feelings or any problems I had. No where in my life did I feel safe to tell anyone what I was thinking or how I was suffering. So, back to my experience. I was in 5th ish grade and my mom was taking us to Walmart. It was the middle of winter and I had an electric oil heater in my room. It was on 24/7 as we didn't have heating in the home (we grew up extremely poor). So I put on my boots and as I was putting them on I thought, "If I don't change into my other boots my oil heater will catch on fire." I decided finally to lwt this thought pass, acknowledge it but not do it and keep the boot I was place on, on. This was the first time I let the thought pass and not do what it wanted me to. We started to leave and I remembered to grab something from my room and much to my horror, the plug in to my oil heater was on fire. It was an electrical fire, I took off my hoodie and beat the fire out. I was able to unplug it and never told my parents what happened. This had made it extremely hard to ignore these thoughts even much much later on in life.

I see people living their lives and just enjoying themselves. Not taking things too seriously and not overly stressing. And then there’s me. Who stresses at the slightest thing. Whose OCD has taken massive chunks of my life that I’ll never get back. It feels like I’m going through life just terrified of my own f*cking shadow… Any small thing I have to deal with that to anyone else might just cause slight inconvenience or nervousness, causes me to have an almost complete and utter breakdown. WHY CANT I HANDLE LIFE. I am so ashamed of who I am. I want to be someone who is brave and courageous and who does things and lives life anyway, regardless of fear. But no. I avoid living because of it. Why am I even here if this is how my life is? What is the point? I’m going through it today, friends 😭

So it started i think a month ago when i saw a video about a psyhopath and it said that they start by killing animals when they are young and when i was younger i was killing grasshoppers and from that day i had a fear in my head what if im a psyhopath and don’t know it. i couldn’t get the fear out of my head its like alaways on my mind and i got so scared that something is wrong with me so i started googling stuff because i was so scared that i have a mental illnes so i started reading about stuff one google and i saw a illnes called Schizophrenia and i read about it and when i saw the symptoms i got scared that i have them because i have felt kinda stuck in my mind because of the fear and now im scared that im in the early stage of schizophrenia. Please i just want the fears to stop someone give me advice i just want to live a happy life and focus on my school but its hard because of my fears please how do i know that i dont have schizophrenia because i have read about it i feel like i actually have the symptoms im so tired i would love some i advice please

Hi I can’t afford therapy but feel I have ocd but don’t have a diagnosis I’m constantly changing my mind about whether I’ve got ocd or not so I’m stop stating erp therapy that I do alone. What can I do?

I’m getting thoughts that I’m following women. I did see a nice looking woman on my way to the river and I did go a bit like a meerkat but we went in separate directions. Now I’m sitting by the river being paranoid that I’m staring at white women… I’m white. I’m thinking the women are too young too when they are well past it being an issue even if I was interested. In other news the flower children at the river were eating thali and I said hello so I got POCD exposure. I’ve promised then chalk whenI get paid and every day they are asking for chalk lol. The chalk will cost £1 for forty coloured sticks. They can make extra money drawing for tourists and it is a bargain for me. I’ve told the tea stand nearby that he should sell chalk as I’m sure the children would continue to get chalk long after I move on that way. I honestly feel like I’ll be in the news rn and they will use my messages and social media as evidence. I know I have had a lot of caffeine and I said this would happen.

on the daily i shower for 2-3 hours. i dont understand why but i spend so much time being paranoid of being dirty or touching something dirty in the shower that i constantly keep washing nonstop. i spend like 20 minutes washing my hands in the shower before i even touch my shampoo, then after i finish my shower i spend 20 more minutes washing my hands. i also developed a bad habit of cleaning the knob that controls the water because i believe it is very dirty. this is very exhausting and hard to live with, so can anyone share some advice?

I read multiple articles on false memory ocd an now I’m confused. I actually thought that false memory ocd is marked by things that are actually completely fabricated by the brain. But I keep seeing things like „an event that may or may not have happened“, does this mean that it could actually be true? Are there any ways how to find out if what you’re going through is real if it’s an actual bad act? Because for me I have been completely focused on false memory ocd lately and while I was ruminating on another one, I suddenly got an image of sth even worse that could maybe be like 7 or 8 months ago. I never remembered this happening and for months I’ve been convinced I had never hurt anybody but then I got this image. I instantly also thought that this didn’t happen and that I would definitely remember if it had happened because it’s actually horrible and it’s not just something you would quickly do and then completely forget, it’s an actual entire act. And I never was close to that person. But I keep being like „but what if I listened to my intrusive thoughts? But I can’t remember doing that and I even have posts on here from around that time saying I was too afraid of that person and that I would never ever listen to my intrusive thoughts… but what if I tried to get rid of my ocd theme by doing this? Nah that’s not what I would do and I know that… I’ve never done any harmful things just to get rid of this theme this is stupid“ etc etc. Like I keep fearing I might’ve done this and done it for various reasons. But I can’t actually remember doing it. All those scenarios feel like they’re just imaginations. But I can’t let go of it. And usually for memories it’s that with time you start to be able to puzzle it all together trough evidence and u don’t forget bad things you’ve done. For example, I know that like a year ago I pushed my sister while I was having an argument with her. I remember everything from then because in my entire life I’ve barely ever done anything to others and so I usually remember those events almost 100% perfectly. I also remember sth from almost 10 years ago in which I called one of my friends (and ik this is bad, that’s why I remember it) fat. I lost a few details but I still remember what exactly I did and that the exact same day I called the parents and apologised bc I felt bad. But for this scenario, I’ve been ruminating on it for TWENTY days and I’m still in the doubting stage. I have spent hours ruminating by now and I still don’t have any actual memories back, just things like „but what if I was mad and then just did this and instantly forgot about it?“ and all this. But not an actual full scenario of me doing this even though it could only be a few months away. Idk what To do, I can’t continue living with the uncertainty. If it’s real, then I won’t even continue living. People like these are terrible and disgusting and don’t deserve living and everybody can agree on that.

Can OCD go into remission for a few years, and then come back years later? I feel like this is what happened to me. Around the ages of 14 to 16, I was fine, for the most part. Disassociated but fine, because although my dad's health has been declining slowly, I was still able to function/think clear/etc. The remission lasted until I was 21 and hit me like a train from then on. I have my good and bad days with OCD, but it's there again. Sometimes it reminds me of how it used to be, when it FIRST started; I was 11 or 12. Those REALLY bad days are few and far between. I basically describe myself as "simmering in anxiety" no matter what location I'm in or what I'm doing. The only thing that helps me is church or being around my church family as much as I can.

In my 24 years of living , out of nowhere I had the thought “what if I’m transgender” I tried to treat it as a silly thought , but then it kept popping up in my head and I started getting extremely anxious. OCD really is the tried and true doubting disorder , because what the actual fuck. I love being a man. I literally admire the male physique. I love being able to grow arm pit hair and not get judged. I do of course love women , and I am in touch with my emotions and I’m definitely feminine in a lot of ways , but I don’t want to change my gender. It’s just absurd. I really hate OCD #genderocd

hi everyone! i hope y’all are having a good day/night. this is gonna be a really long introduction text, with some questions i’d like you to answer at the end if you have the time :). my partner recommended me this app two months ago, when we found out i have ocd. i installed it right away, but procrastinated even opening it until now, always finding a new excuse, like i do when it comes to anything related to actually fighting “the voices” - as they like to call my ocd thoughts in an attempt to make them lose power. however, this week has been extremely hard, my partner and i have been constantly fighting for a week now over my ocd, as it keeps ruining the relationship, so here i am. i mainly struggle with relationship ocd. however, i’ve seen most people struggle with wondering if they truly love their partner or if they will fall out of love, while i struggle mostly with an intense fear of being abandoned, that has led me to entirely avoid my partner. we’ve been together for 5 years, on and off since until 5 months ago we were doing long distance, and that was extremely hard. we now live together, yet unless they initiate it and ask me if i want to join them, i avoid everything that has to do with them. i have become fully incapable of starting a conversation, entering a room they’re in, asking them anything, etc. planning dates and kissing them is unimaginable. it’s gotten to the point where i’m so in my own head that i don’t see them at all, hurting them over and over again by not catering to their basic needs. i cross clear boundaries in fear of asking them for something, i disregard their own pains and struggles due to being so focused on my own. i don’t listen to what they’re saying because i’m constantly reading between lines to see how what they’re saying relates to me and how it means that they don’t like me and will leave me. i’ve even started falling asleep on the couch because i’m so scared of going to bed and them not wanting me there. i compulsively lie all the time in an attempt to hide my mistakes and compulsions. the list can keep going forever, the fear of abandonment always takes over no matter what, and i always have a “reason” (excuse) for it. they’ve begged me to get help so many times, and at this point i don’t think we’re gonna survive this, as i don’t think im gonna get better enough to stop hurting them this badly in time. if it wasn’t me in this relationship, as their best friend, i would’ve told them to break up with their partner already, because this is no way to live for them. i started taking fluvoxamine 50mg two months ago, and im just now starting to see an ERP therapist, we’re gonna come up with an exposure plan next tuesday. i’m not fully sure what im looking for in this app as i feel like it’s mainly therapy focused, but i could use some advice, on both how to stop listening to the countless excuses ocd keeps coming up with to avoid stopping the compulsions, and to fully commit to ERP for it to be efficient from the start. and also - how long did it take for you to start noticing actual results with ERP? what are some things you would tell someone that’s just starting? any advice to do this as efficiently as possible? what’s something you would’ve done differently? and an extra question for those who started off in a similar place to me - what did your exposure plan look like? i don’t really know what to expect (though maybe sitting with that uncertainty is good) and really need this to work. if you made it to the end - thanks for reading, and you got this! you’re doing amazing <3

I always feel so lonely and isolated with ocd. I feel like I cannot talk to anybody about it. I haven't told anybody about my worst thoughts, not even my boyfriend who has been so so understanding about it. Then I see this mutual friend I just followed liking ocd posts on Instagram about similar themes to me. It makes me feel so relieved knowing that it's not just me struggling with ocd, and that people I know also have it. Makes me feel not so alone.

I always recommend seeking professional help because it’s safer and way more effective to do it with a professional since they know EXACTLY what to do. But if you can’t see a professional right now and you have no idea when you’ll be able to seek help from an OCD therapist due to money or where you live, here’s an extensive list of tools and resources to help you get better and/or stay recovered. -Look into OCD and Anxiety’s YouTube channel. They have an OCD course you can do for a fee, -Download either the Calm app or Insight Timer app for guided meditations, -Read ALL the books by Lee Baer and Martin Seif on OCD and anxiety, -Look into Therapy in a Nutshell’s YouTube channel, -Start doing yoga! Because exercise is good for you. I suggest the YouTube channel Yoga with Adriene, -Subscribe and follow the YouTube channel, Psychology With Dr. Ana for great mental health content, -Start watching Thich Nhat Hanh’s guided meditations and talks on mindfulness. Also, buy his books on meditation and mindfulness, -Look into OCD International’s website if you’re international (or is the US but having issues finding help outside of NOCD) for help, -If you are looking for inpatient treatment for extreme OCD, look up Rogers Behavioral center’s website. You can even reach out to them for help, -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Phobia Differences: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/ocd-vs-phobia-how-to-tell-the-difference

Does anyone else obsess about having another panic attack or scan their body constantly for how they feel and if a thought or feeling about a panic attacks comes on, you’re more likely to start to feel panicky?

Is feeling the need to confess everything you’ve ever done to your partner a compulsion? My body and mind tells me that if I don’t that I’m lying to my partner about who I am or what I’ve done and that I should say something otherwise I’m bad. Can anyone relate to this?