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Can hocd cause depression and can it cause loss of attraction to woman?

i recently made an appointment with a new psychiatrist in order to discuss meds to treat my ocd. mostly because i have pure-o and my mind being so busy with thoughts and compulsions making it hard to tackle treatment, its hard to identify my compulsions and intrusive thoughts properly. i struggle with a few themes but the mains ones are honestly relationship, harm, and as of recently pedo. I’m considering prozac and sort of zoloft. however, i’d like any happy positive stories about ssri’s. im very scared to start medicine even if a small part of me is also excited for the possibility of feeling some relief since i have never been on anything and honestly after this last year a part of me has forgotten what pre ocd me was like. thank u guys sm

ive felt kind of like a heart palpitation but idk how to explain it it feels like my heart skips a beat or like it does beat normally but like it contracts harder?(not sure how to explain i think its more of a feeling) but i dont feel no pain and it only lasts a few seconds and then i feel completely normal and completely fine and it happens when im relaxed usually, sometimes when im amxious and im really scared that it is something heart related but ive done and ekg 3 months ago and it was completely fine and i did a blood test then and was completely fine and ive felt heart palpitations before but they felt a bit different, i mean they felt similar in a way but it felt like my heart was pounding out of my chest and i did an ekg then too which was months before the last one and it also turned out completely normal amd they stopped. ive been having bad anxiety and panic attacks and i get so many physical symptoms and sensations that ive learned to accept but this scares me so much, ive given up coffee, i dont drink, i dont smoke. im not sure if i should be scared or if its just like adrenaline or anxiety somatic symptom and im now scared that ive developed arrhytmia in these 2 months...im asking if anyone has had health anxiety and how did you get over it.

Relationship OCD brings out the most frustrating and strangling feelings and emotions associated. It’s so upsetting because my thoughts feel real but I know that my mind is just trying to torture me with what-ifs. I dread when my boyfriend has to take his truck to our auto body shop, about every month, because of this front desk woman who had and I believe still does have something for my boyfriend. I dread every aspect of the ordeal… from them texting to set up the appointments, to texts and calls about the updates, to him dropping off his truck/picking it up/paying the bill. It has gotten so extreme for me that while I’m at work and he drops it off, I’m checking his location to see how long he is there. I’m just so scared that she is flirting with him or vice versa or both… it makes me sick to my stomach when in reality he has never done anything during our relationship that would make me not trust him. It’s just awful and I feel crazy when really I am ridden with fear, mistrust, and insecurity I guess…

Hi everyone! This is me writing this while having an intense OCD attack and seriously I don’t know how to handle it. At this point I cry almost every day, I’ve lost my appetite, and I don’t know what to do anymore. This summer I’ve seen a movie where one of the characters had schizophrenia and did what my intrusive thoughts were about, which is harming others. I panicked immediately and did what I wish I didn’t, but I didn’t know back then it was a compulsion: I googled the symptoms. I felt relief at first, but then I started asking myself what if I have those symptoms? What if my thoughts will become voices and I’ll believe them? (This is still one of my biggest fears) Ever since then it’s a never ending cycle, everything I see and hear I question if it’s real or only me hearing/seeing it. I overanalyse my body sensations like when my ears ring, or I feel a tightness around my head etc. I went to see a therapist to start treatment, and he told me I have nothing to worry about, cause it’s unlikely I’ll develop it. I felt at ease, and for a few weeks I felt so much better, cause that talk with the therapist went well and I finally got the diagnosis which is OCD. But then, I was scrolling on Instagram, and I saw a video and ever since then it’s getting bad again. It gotten so bad that my mind “plays” random phrases/music/words in my head, and it’s sometimes in my internal voice, sometimes it’s in others’ and it’s so scary cause I’m just going on with my day and they’re just there. Also for example I hear my mom cleaning the dishes and as she puts them away they make a sound and I hear a word in it, but it makes no sense yet I panic over it cause it was a word? I feel like I don’t even have own thoughts anymore, other than those and the ‘What if this means…?’ thoughts which cause me so much anxiety I feel like I’ll explode. The reason I’m writing this is that maybe someone who went through the same thing can help me, and give me some tips how to stop ruminating and mentally+physically checking (my emotions, my facial expressions, body sensations etc.)? I’m currently going to a group therapy which is seem to help, but I feel like I need to see a therapist alone where she/he can help me with my exact problem? Maybe it’s seeking reassurance and that’s a compulsion cause what if this isn’t OCD but still I don’t know what to do. Thank you!

September I had the worst intrusive thought , and I haven’t been right since. I haven’t been able to be around my daughter , avoid her, situations and everything . I was told I had OCD and my depression went away and I am much better than I was but now it’s like I’m waiting for thoughts? Like I’m forcing them? I’m good and then I’m like what if I have a thought? And a thought comes ? It’s very weird. I don’t even know smh.

I’m 35. Up until I was 25, I had no doubt what my sexuality was. I was clearly only interested in women. Had relationships and fantasised nightly. One day I had the thought “do I feel enough for my partner”… instantly lost libido, consumed by anxiety and this need to know “why”. Eventually in my obsessive figuring out “why” the next thought came in “you are gay”. My world has been shrunk to just this issue. Every waking hour this sits in my mind. It’s like overnight my mind went from normal to me being convinced I must be gay. I’m forever battling the feeling of denial, the checking, sick with anxiety that it’s true and I’ll have to hurt my wife. It’s like I’m not allowed to feel anything but anxiety/fear/impending doom. My mind gets so convinced it’s true. I’ve never had any attraction or natural attraction to men. But my mind is convinced and it’s killing me. It’s telling me I am something I don’t want to be. But then that’s denial right? What is the difference? How do you get to 25, never having any thoughts about this, then out of the blue, a thought about lost feelings overnight turns into 10 years of this? Help

This is a question that was asked many times before, its basically a form of "if there's God why there's evil", and im angry that people doesnt try to find an answer for this,they just go with the basic asnwer that doesnt have any logic. There is a guy on youtube who talks about this, i will not say any name, many believes what he says its the truth, God doesnt intervene cause we have free will, He knows everything that will happen, He knew you before you were born and He already knows if you will be in heaven or hell. He knows everything that will happen and lets it happen cause He can make good out of it,but if He knows where you will go after this life, why He tries to help you to go to Him,follow His path? Lets take the "He lets bad things happen cause He sees the good that can come after" what about people who choose suicide after an abuse? Is that the great good He saw? I could write many things that contradicts what others say, the only way we will go in that argument will be "we dont know actually why God do some things". Maybe im wrong, but this is a big lie that people believed years ago and now it gets bigger. Many says that in the Old Testament people just blindly believed in God, but thats a lie, God showed them that they can trust in Him, by the things He done to them. And we have to lean to that and the things He does in our life too cause God is still working, He didnt dissapeared after the Old Testament... There is alot of stupid things on the internet that makes God look stupid, and many times i said, but since im with God, im more angry at these people who mislead others than those who doesnt believe in God or hate God. Those are victims to these false image of God that these preachers made. I believe the answer is there somewhere, and I believe and will stuck on it that God is love and He didnt just put us here to watch us suffer and then say its because of free will, you did that... Anyway back to my question, yesterday i watched a video, i will not share the name cause it can be disturbing for some, basically someone makes interviews with people who didnt get the good side of life, and the video was about people who died after the interview, and it was many, i just want to talk about one. There was a guy who told that he was sexually abused by his dad since he was 4, and because of that he became drug addict. Sadly he passed away because of overdose, his story made me so angry and i just got this on my mind that im here who has an easier life, its easy for me to believe, but there are people who grew up getting abused by their parents, the people you should trust no matter what, off course its so hard for them to believe. And it felt this feeling that "God, this is not fair. Im here having a great life and there are some who got the worst life, they doesnt have a chance to experirnce your love. It's not fair". And since then im struggling with this. Im watching videos about why would God let these things happen and all i get are these stupid answers... if God let it happen cause He saw that it could be better, why it didnt? Cause the guy is not with us anymore... if you would say "God could do good from that but the guy choose not to follow God, dont forget, i meantioned that people say God knows the future, then this means that He knew the good will not happen cause if He lets it happen, the guy will die because of it. This shows how little we know about God and we believe what others say. Lets clear that im not against God, im against these false preachers. So if i made you question God, im sorry, stick with Him, even after this i will stick with Him because the good He gave to me, but i will search for answers cause i dont believe that God put us in a world where evil has a greater power, He just watches, the only hope we have is that after death everything will he good, but before that God throw us into this circus where we suffer, and if you dont follow Him, you will go to hell... Of course some see God as an evil god, its because of these things some teach about God. If you have an answer to my question, please share it, alwayd question and pray about the things you hear from others about God, dont just believe it, even this, i will pray to God to help me go through this

I keep reading about everyone's story and I feel as if I'm a lost cause. I've been fighting SO-OCD for over 16 years now and it has only gotten worse. I was in treatment for like 3 years but it didn't help as much as I expected. I'm 31 and have always considered myself straight. Only been happy and interested in relationship with girls. Still to this day... But somehow, I find myself feeling physically (and mentally) aroused by whatever fear I can think of as they delop. It's a long story. But My HOCD has gone from the fear of being gay to the fear of being attracted to trans females (male to females) after watching that porn. And in the process I've been aroused by every specific fear I develped. I developed a sudden and unfounded fear of getting erected when watching trans people on tv, then on social media, in person, and then if they popped up in dating apps. Hell, even reading the word "transexual". They didn't have to do anything sexual, just pop in front of me. And guess what? Everytime any of those fear appeared, I felt aroused if I was exposed to them. Not a groinal, I mean aroused. I'm sure it was arousal (in my mind and body). Not to mention I know and accept I've had gay fantasies (the porn I mentioned). But I'm serious when I say I have never been remotely interested or attracted to this in real life. I already lost my wife because of my OCD after 4 years... For some time the concept of arousal non-concordance helped me navigate this. But I feel it doesn't apply to me because apparently it only explains physiological arousal when the mind is disgusted by the thoughts but you still feem aroused. Can you be mentally and physiologically stimulated by intrusive thoughts and still it doesn't mean you desire this? Has anybody else gone through this? I don't know what mental mechanism could explain this... I've been in this fight for years. Only a month ago I felt confident I was not attracted to trans people even after all those "arousals" a few years ago. And now I got triggered by another thought and am losing my mind again doubting myself once more.

Hi all, please don’t read this if death/grief is a trigger for you. I’m posting because right now my Nana is in her final hours of life on Hospice and I said goodbye to her on the phone this morning. I’m on the other side of the country from her and I have to work today and my brain is going 1,000 miles an hour. I’m so sad and I feel like I have to hold it together. It’s really hard to talk about and I don’t really want to tell other friends and loved ones until she passes for some reason because she’s been sick for so long and I feel like a broken record. Right now I just feel really scared and alone and I wish I could see her more than anything but I can’t make it in time. I know I have to keep working today because otherwise I won’t be able to take off time later to travel and attend her services and be there for my family and help with her belongings. Losing her has been one of my deepest fears and recent OCD themes and I’m trying my best to sit with these awful feelings but it’s just so hard. She means the absolute world to me and being so far away while she passes is devastating. I need to keep up the response prevention but my head feels like a hurricane.

Just got off a call with my new OCD therapist and ERP is so exhausting 😭 Intentionally triggering the anxiety feels so wrong, I know everyone says it’s the gold standard but ugh. My body feels like it’s run a marathon. I just want a vacation from this sh*t. I’m not giving up. Just needed a place to vent and knew you all would understand. Mad respect for those of you who have been doing ERP for years. It’s so hard 🥺

With Harm OCD, is it possible to obsess over a thought so much, that the brain acts it out subconsciously via sleepwalking?

I keep thinking the worst will happen in literally every situation I'm in. I especially worry about infidelity from my partner and I know it sounds wild, considering they were my best friend before we even dated. Being cheated on, for me, only took one time. Once. And I was completely messed up from it and haven't learned how to let go of it and just...heal. I don't even think I tried to heal from that; I think I just shoved it under the rug. I'm looking into therapy now. I used to go every 2 weeks and that lasted me (consistently) around 7 months. Which benefited me a lot. I just don't think there's a lot my partner would lie to me about. This is what gets on my nerves about OCD; I've always heard, "Oh if you feel that badly about it then go with your gut feeling!" What if your gut feeling is literally always assuming the worst? It just hurts because literally NOTHING bad has happened and I don't believe it ever will. I just get upset bc it's like what am I supposed to do? I can't just come out and say all this or what I'm actually thinking about bc it's gonna make me sound insane.

I’ve been struggling with these feelings for months. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and it’s been a struggle. Not because of her, but because of outside circumstances most of the time, but a lot of our issues stem from my mental health. She’s been incredibly strong and has dealt with so much but she’s out some of her needs aside to help take care of me and help me. It’s been a lot on her. She got me out of a really bad relationship that I was in for 4 years and I think I put her on a pedestal. She stayed with me despite me going to a mental hospital for two weeks because of my OCD (that I hadn’t been diagnosed with yet) and how I was obsessively thinking about breaking up with her but knew I didn’t want to or at the very least I didn’t want to hurt her and on top of that I was having suicidal ideation and still do now (after our big talk I walked to all of our old spots we walked to in the beginning of our relationship and I nearly jumped off of one of them) Now I’m having issues determining what’s OCD and what my actual emotions are. I don’t know if I’m falling out of love with her (which is ridiculous because she’s literally everything I’ve ever wanted) or if I’m just really mentally Ill. We made a promise that no matter what happens we’d be at each others weddings. She’s my best friend and I’ve been able to be silly with her recently but we’re in a rocky spot where we’re taking a break over winter break and I’m not allowed to tell her I love her until I know I mean it. I don’t expect anyone to have any answers, but if someone can help me understand and tell me if you’ve had similar issues and how you got through? I have trouble remember a lot of this year and I think I have a lot of unfair connections in my head between us starting to date (in January) and how bad this year has been. I don’t know if I healed from my ex because it was immediate (I’ll be honest, I cheated on my ex with my current gf, which I have a lot of guilt over but I knew she was different and my ex tried to strangle me over Mario party and cheated on my twice.) It’s weird when I feel like I can’t remember any good parts of this year and most of my happy memories were from when we’d sneak around and very early in our relationship. I had a really bad drug experience that was a big catalyst for my mental health but anyway I’ll stop rambling on, it’s be nice if someone could relate to me. TL;DR: I’m having massive amounts of relationship OCD that makes me question if I love my wonderful girlfriend and I’m scared that I just don’t want to be with her anymore. Help.

Hey OCD community, I could really do with help writing an ERP script. Although I have health anxiety, I found a lump in my breast and went to my doctor and it turns out he’s not fully sure if it’s cancerous so has referred me on for further tests. Naturally, my OCD is spiralling and going into overdrive wanting to know if it’s benign or not etc. my rational brain knows I have to wait (that could be weeks) to get tests carried out but in the meantime, any guidance on writing a script would be really really helpful as I am very upset and ruminating loads. Thanks in advance

I have horrible harm intrusive urges and they are getting so much worse. It’s feeling like I’m about to act on them and that I’m so close to doing it. It also is starting to feel like I want to do it. I am really doing my best to accept them and not ruminate but I am really struggling and nothing is helping. I am very scared because it feels like I am getting weaker at holding myself back and I want this to just go away. Any advice would be great.

Me and the guy I’m seeing had a tough conversation last night, and now I feel terrible. He was telling me how I’m quite sexual and when he isn’t I get self defensive, which I’ve realised is because I’ve not had a proper relationship where I’ve had someone interested beyond a physical level. So him saying that sex isn’t the most important thing to him it makes me suddenly question if that means me. And now I’m sat here scared for our relationship as I’m worried he’s saying he’s not into me anymore. It feels that way and I know it’s in my head but it feels so real. Him saying we’re okay just doesn’t feel true. I’m too invested in him and now I’m being told that the way I go about sex doesn’t make it feel special I feel bad, I didn’t realises I was doing that or that he felt that way, but years of using sex as a way to feel emotionally secure or connected has ruined me finding it okay to do it in any other way. I don’t know how to feel connected with him when we aren’t, and that’s all on me I know that. I’m worried I never will, like right now I actually want to cry because I’m so scared to loose him but I feel embarrassed. He told me not to be but I really am, I think I’m ruining everything and I feel it my entire body feels it and I’m so so worried

Does anyone else find TikTok overwhelming for OCD? The algorithm seems like it’s built to trigger OCD, I always get stuck on videos that I know I shouldn’t be watching and then hours go by and I’ve turned my feed into my own personal hell of whatever I’m obsessing over. I recently got my feed to be more positive, but I still find the speed and intensity (colors, music changes, information, etc) of some of the videos to make my heart race so badly, even after I put my phone down. This can’t just be me **also I’m new to this app, definitely an upgrade from TikTok!

I miss my life before ocd. When I would never wake up in a cycle of overthinking and worry and the moment I open my eyes till the moment I sleep, it’s non stop intrusive and unwanted thoughts. It scares me, I don’t want to live my life like this forever. I cry so much, as I’m sure most of you would relate. My heart just feels heavy, that’s the best description I can give, I feel like I’m just existing not actually LIVING. (Not an existential theme) I feel like I just bring everyone down around me, my mental illness has an affect on those around me and though I can’t help I am mentally ill, it takes a toll on me when I KNOW I’m hurting others when they see me so sad all the time, including my daughter… I’ve been dealing with this for somewhere between 1-2 years, which doesn’t seem like a long time but when your life is this constant never ending doubt every single day sometimes all day long, it feels like forever… I just want to be HAPPY. Is that too much to ask for? To just feel genuine happiness and not have these obsessive ego dystonic thoughts 24/7, or at all… I try and keep my head above water and just keep swimming, I wish I could see an ocd therapist but im sorry even with NOCD, it’s TOO EXPENSIVE. I live in Australia so don’t have access to Medicare through NOCD therapy… what options do I have. I’m at a low point, trying to function every day and distract myself from my head by cleaning, looking after my daughter and dog, doing little activities to occupy my time. But there’s only so much distracting you can do I guess.

In the past I’ve had my therapy weaponized against me by my parents, more specifically by my mom. She has made comments like “your therapist needs to do her work faster,” “obviously your therapy isnt strong enough,” “go back to therapy.” These are just a few I can remember and phrases I only hear when my mom is mad at me. I go to therapy once a week for OCD and its not something that I discuss openly with my parents. I just had therapy today. My mom and I got in an argument today because I was mad she was dismissing something I was saying and walking away from me. I got mad and said “thanks for listening.” Her response was her angrily telling me to go back to therapy which I know is her way of saying that I’m “bad” basically and i’m the problem. Anyways i reacted really poorly and with a quick trigger i said “screw you” and she lost it sobbing. My dad screamed at me. I do feel bad for saying that but I have consistently had therapy weaponized against me as a reason that I’m such a terrible daughter and so “poorly behaved” that I just snapped. Growing up I was always called a “brat” and “snotbag” and even a “bitch” by my mother and my brothers. I had terrible behavioral problems because of my home life and was always iced-out for weeks/months by my family when I did something distasteful. My dad one time didnt talk to me for three months. I guess I just really need help because me saying “screw you” today got me into a lot of trouble and I feel really bad and tried to apologize but just got yelled at more. My parents dont understand how it hurt me and made me immediately defensive that I was told to “go back to therapy” just because i was mad about not being listened to. Also I go every week and my mom know. I dont even know if I actually am a good or bad daughter. I guess I just need honest opinions because if I am the problem I dont know why I cant control my behavior