Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Please tell me some Prozac success stories I’m starting it tomorrow! Feeling hopeful because I was doing ok on Zoloft and have been much worse since I’ve been off so we’re trying a new med.

Please forgive me in advance. I do not want to offend anyone on this platform so if I'm not politically correct, I am sorry. My bf of almost 2 years comes from a lower economic status than I did growing up. His father has intellectual disabilities from childhood trauma and abuse. His nieces and nephews have some disabilities as well. My bf and I have talked about marriage in the future. My OCD makes me focus on the possibility that if we marry, we may have a child with disabilities because of it running in the family. I know I sound judgemental and that does bother me. I know I'm not perfect so I shouldn't seek perfection in others or judge ppl but it worries me. I look for things wrong in my bf too, worrying that maybe I missed something and maybe he has something I didn't notice. It sounds ridiculous as I write this. Am I alone in this issue?

The thoughts feel so real. I feel like I'm denying everything just to hold onto what I'm comfortable with. The depression is crazy too; it feels like none of my ERP work matters because I'm just in denial.

So I’ve been struggling to write this down. The truth about OCD is that it sucks. I get weird thoughts and they stick. And because I can’t confirm their weird thoughts i get stuck in a cycle of rumination. That’s my compulsion. I avoid people and situations because I think I’m a bad person. Which ultimately drove me into depression and more. The verdict is this: you can’t make a thought go away. You can accept it as a thought even if you feel doubt about accepting it and letting it be there. Fake it till you make it. I’m faking it everyday and I’ve grown so much since staring my exposure therapies. Don’t avoid your exposures. They become so easy like water. The hardest part is starting. Rumination is a choice - believe it or not. I go, wait a minute wait a minute, I don’t want to keep figuring this out. And I feel the train tracks move and my mind goes else where. This is with therapy. This is with holding on to my last string of hope. And to make this easier for all of you. I’m a mother. My ocd has made my life harder because I have a tiny human who relies on me. I had a horrible childhood with the main billion still in my life. I’ve accepted it. Accept and move on. Work out for 5 min a day. Buy a new gym outfit that makes u feel hot!! Eat something different like a good quality chocolate bar ( a piece ) enjoy it!!!! Chew it slowly. Drink some water. Listen to your heart not your OCD . We don’t need compulsions, you will get there and one day believe it. Live with ocd like you don’t care! You’ve gotten this far. Rewrite your story this year. Start again everyday. And take it day by day… Build your peace and remember, nobody has the motivation to get out of bed, it’s about building good habits and discipline. Start preparing your meals for thanksgiving. Give charity, pray to god once a day. Tell him your letting him take over. Now get up and , 1,2, ready set GO.

Hello, I am 20 years old and I believe I’m suffering from ROCD. I’ve had these issues on an off in my 2 year relationship and it’s been a big struggle for me. My boyfriend is the best, kindest soul I know and I just never want to lose him. The story is kind of confusing but bear with me. My childhood crush from when I was a sophomore in high school is still really close friends with my cousin, so I see him a lot. I am always worried and freaking out that I still like this childhood crush, Im constantly checking my feelings, looking things up, and just ruminating all day. It’s been very triggering for me and stressful. I constantly feel like I need to breakup with my boyfriend because “what if i still like him” (my childhood crush). I need opinions on what you guys think I should do. I don’t know if i’m just insecure and scared of losing my boyfriend or if I’m genuinely still having feelings for this past person. I will say I have had a history with sexual orientation ocd so I have had many experiences like this before.

I’ve just been so sad. It’s been almost ten years of SOOCD. Ten years. I was twelve when it first started and now I’m 22, and I’m no closer to an answer now than I was when this began. Don’t get me wrong— it’s been on and off. There have been times where I’m very confident that I’m straight and other times where I feel like I have no choice but to be a lesbian. There’s so much evidence pointing towards me being bisexual at the very least, and after ten years, it feels like that must be true. I don’t think I will ever have a normal, happy life because of this. I will never be able to pursue my dream career because in my mind it’s a “lesbian” career, I’ll never get to fall in love with a man without scrutinizing it the entire way through, I’ll never know what it is to be at peace. To know myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m okay with being bisexual. Really, I do. But then I realize that feeling comfortable with being bisexual might mean I actually am. I just don’t know what to do. Ten years is too long. My life has been robbed from me. If it doesn’t stop by next year, I might just end it.

I’m running this by this ND community because Google is useless. I feel threatened all the time and feeling threatened is making me constantly irritable. Am I overdoing it? I may be tbf. I meditate nightly and I’m on permanent vacation but I do a lot of studying and I’m trying to expand a business. I need a way to wind down that isn’t drugs. I’ve been clean for 8 years and my instincts tell me to use drugs to unwind but the whole idea gives me a panic attack and I often get defensive if I feel threatened like this and lose my temper.

Hi guys this if my first post here on my quest to a better life The last 2 years have been massively stressing to me and I lost my marriage to an affair, my dream of becoming a father, my home and have to completely reset my entire life after 13 years of hard work I've now spent almost a year with a new partner who is absolutely wonderful in every way and on paper. My life is the best it's ever been and I know I'm happier then ever So why do I continue to ruminate, and have cropping doubts that I'm not good enough for my new partner on a daily basis. That's the next thing I want to understand about myself These thoughts are obsessive and intrusive and massively effect my mood and emotion on a daily basis. Like today's sprang from a photo of my new partner on an NHS id badge where she had different hair. And after sprial to special it ended up in my head as do I even know the real her and is she happy with me Apologies for the word blirt I guess I'm looking to understand if I'm not crazy. And where/ how I can get help and get this crap under control. And live a happy life Cheers for reading

New to all of this. Medications that didn’t make you lose your mind? I’m so nervous about taking medication. Suggestions?

Is it normal for me to focus all day everyday on my mental health? Checking to see if I am going to have thoughts and get anxious before I even do? Always looking up stuff to find more information about OCD? I’m in recovery of OCD and I always check my symptoms around my daughter, before I even have thoughts I get anxious I’m going to have them or something will trigger it, all day I’m looking up stuff about OCD , why am I so focused on my mental healthy every single day! What can I do!? Practice mindfulness? Nothing on the internet says anything about this

How do you deal with soocd trying to convince you that you had crushes on your friends in the past. I keep having thoughts about my female friendships and my brain is like “you actually wanted to date her” or “if she said she liked you, you’d want to be with her instead of your boyfriend”. These thoughts are so distressing because I don’t think they’re true but I also can’t ignore them because I just hate myself for even thinking it in the first place. If I ever told my boyfriend I was thinking these things he would never want to be with me. I don’t know how to spend time with my female friends who I’m seeing over this weekend without this totally overwhelming my brain. Has anyone dealt with this?

Has anyone taken any medications that completely just removed the ocd? Or did you still have issues with it?

It was too much for her and I don't blame her. She was freaked out about it. My OCD is really bad with unbearable themes. We planned our whole life together and I lost it all because I can't control my stupid brain. I've hit rock bottom and I don't know if there's any saving me

Who of you are Christians and have had to learn to live with OCD as a Christian? It’s one heck of a ride!!! How does it affect you?

Hello, I do not have OCD but my boyfriend does. We’re both in our early 20s, we have been together for almost a year. I’m making this post seeking advice , thank you for taking the time to read. He’s always had issues obsessing over my past and asking me questions and things of that nature. I talk to him about it and answer when he wants to ask me stuff, but the problem is i don’t want to talk about these things because it’s really traumatic for me. He tends to obsess over my past romantic history which brings up bad feelings for me (SA, DV trauma etc) I want to help him but it’s VERY hard to stay patient when it’s triggering me. Every time he asks me about these things i either end up having a panic attack or getting so upset with him which ends up making him feel worse because he can’t control his obsessions and it’s a really hard cycle for both of us. I don’t understand much about OCD and it confuses me how one minute everything is fine and the next he is upset. and he hasn’t been diagnosed yet but is working on getting into therapy. He has his own trauma which i think is where this all stems from. But in the meantime I want to find better ways to help but also keep my own mental health in check. I’m willing to do whatever I can to help him with his issues. It’s also really isolating because it’s a difficult situation and i’m having difficulty finding anyone who relates and can help. Thank you for reading this. 🥺 And anyone who has advice would get greatly appreciated.

I keep getting intrusive thoughts of men and their privates when i pleasure myself and i hate it so much... plus i have this intrusive urge to smell my hand during and after i pleasure myself, and when i do because i dont want to smell weird, my hocd goes "YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF YOUR HAND AFTER PLEASURING YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU LIKE MENS PRIVATES AND LIQUIDS" when i really dont want to be attracted to men or their privates in any way...

First time posting! My therapist recommended that I give this app a look. Hopefully this isn’t too much to read and a another trigger warning for anyone sensitive to SA and sexual themes (straight and gay). Anyways I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and he is my first. During the first year we were together, I actually got diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. Was on meds for both but stopped because I didn’t want to be reliant on meds and wanted to overcome them without it. The OCD started off with ROCD. I constantly had thoughts about cheating on him and leaving him because “I’m not his type” or he only got with me because he’s desperate. I freak out sometimes when he looks at my phone because I think that I downloaded a dating app and a notification will pop up. I would constantly ask for reassurance from him and make sure he loved me for who I am. I constantly felt guilty and had anxiety attacks whenever the thoughts came in. The thoughts deceive me into thinking that I’m unhappy with the relationship and that it’s doomed to end. Then it evolved into SO-OCD. A quick backstory was that I always and only had crushes on boys up until college. I went to an art school where most of not all of the girls were part of the LGBT+. I think that influenced me to be more “open” with my sexuality. I had a friend who was a girl who I “developed” a crush on. I’m pretty sure it was because I liked the attention and being influenced by a lot of my friends. What makes me think it was just because of attention was that I never thought about the sexual part. I was very lonely and craved any amount of attention and I was desperately wanting to be loved. I never dated anyone in my life and it showed. I even confessed but she rejected me. Later I was constantly sexualized by who I thought were my friends. I was even molested and groped by a girl while I was drunk and high and was about to pass out. Ever since then I’ve been very cautious around female friends especially if I’ve been drinking. When I was confident enough to go on dating apps I only put interested in men since I was sure I am straight. My SO-OCD makes me not trust the women in my life and not to get close to any female. I have thoughts that I am a lesbian in denial and that I am lying to everyone around me. That I’m leading my boyfriend on and that I should be with a women. Looking at myself in the mirror and imagining a lesbian lifestyle. When I try on certain clothes or get my hair done I think “I look so gay” or “I should get a pixie cut or shave my head so I look more gay”. (I’m sorry if that part offends anyone i’m just repeating my thoughts). I have detailed visions in my head of my having sex with women even though the thought repulses me. I get triggered from looking at a gay couple or even having conversations with a woman in the store. I constantly think that I should ask them out even though I have a boyfriend and I’m not really interested. I even have thoughts of messaging my family and coming out. I feel so guilty looking at my boyfriend and having those thoughts cloud my mind. Recently it’s been getting so bad that I’m convinced im completely gay and that im not attracted to him anymore. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t go to that college and maybe none of these thoughts would happen. I also feel that my OCD is invalidated because of my past. Like the OCD uses it as leverage to validate the intrusive thoughts. It makes me feel like I’m never going to get over this sometimes. I’m lucky enough to have the most amazing and understand boyfriend. Even though it is hard to tell him my thoughts he doesn’t judge me at all or take it personally. I feel super guilty whenever I get these thoughts because I love him to death. He means a the world to me and it kills me that I have these thoughts. Couldn’t ask for someone better to fight the OCD battle with. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I appreciate it a lot and hopefully it wasn’t too much at a time. ❤️

Being out with my boyfriend after constant rumination and constant doubts makes me feel even more disconnected from him :( I know I love him, I wouldn’t be trying so hard to go back to normal if I didn’t, but I don’t feel love for him right now. Being numb about everything doesn’t help at all either. I’d be out with him at a restaurant or something, not feel the false attractions towards women, but still feel like with him I’m lying to myself. Ugh I hate this, he used to be my home and now it’s so hard to find comfort around him.

I’ve been dealing with what I believe to be harm ocd for a while and it goes away for long periods of time and comes back worse and I can’t stop thinking about doing awful things to people and I visualize it and think about consequences and stuff and it scares me because I want it to stop, but idk how to get violent thoughts about hurting people to stop I haven’t been diagnosed but I’m just scared for me and others, someone please help, I just want to go back to a clear mind

I’m in India in a vegetarian area but I’m heading to Nepal for a week tomorrow. I’ve been eating a vegetarian diet in India so far but have intentions of eating meat in Kathmandu. I feel so guilty especially of eating anything cowlike, such as a buffalo or a yak. I’ve had dietary OCD before and I was vegan with no supplements and eating a very restricted diet. I think I’m going to cope with this as I had no meds last time and I’m a lot wiser about proper nutrition now. I figure eating meat for one week then coming back to vegetables in India is a simple way of stocking up on important vitamins. On the quiet though I do enjoy being vegetarian and the food here is delish.