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Harm OCD is getting really scary for me. Lately it's been worse than simply "thoughts". It's been coming in the form of commands, and an urge to act as if I can really do something like punch someone I love constantly. I always feel like crap after I "test" myself but it just comes right back. I'm so damn scared that I'm going to go too far and raise my hand at her. Oh God it feels so real, like it's something I can't stop myself from doing even though I know it's beyond wrong. I don't want to end up in jail or hurt the woman I love. Why is this happening to me?? I was so happy just two months ago. Never had a thought of hurting anyone ever for any reason. Now it's like it's all I can think about. Oh God my life is going off the rails and it feels like it's inevitable.

I’m a college student and I’ve had a healthy and stable relationship with my bf of almost two years, but about 3 months ago symptoms of ROCD started flaring for the first time. I was scared and extremely distressed. I told my mom all my doubts about my relationship. I had to pull myself together after a few weeks because college was starting back up. Since I’ve been at college my mom has only really made things worse for me even tho I explained to her that I thought I had ROCD (now I’ve been officially diagnosed) but my mom seems to not be on board or not understand no matter how much I try to explain things to her. She pokes and triggers my OCD every time we speak about it and I’m not sure if it’s intentional or even how to handle things moving forward. Any reason why she might not be supporting me? I’ve tried sending her videos on ROCD and other things to help her understand.

Does anyone struggle with OCD since they were a pediatric? I believe I have a rare form of OCD called PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections) caused by a strep infection which causes antibodies and pathogens to enter the BBB (blood brain barrier) and basically alters your neurons and synapses. This caused me to have OCD and severe tics which alleviate my OCD. Not only do tics alleviate my OCD but seeking constant reassurance on top of that makes my OCD such a struggle.

Im really stressed right now because im worried my boyfriend is too boring for me and not deep enough. He’s not great at communication, doesn’t have many interests and it feels like we run out of things to talk about. We also do spend everyday together with the rare day off. His family is from Poland and they don’t talk much during dinners I’ve had with them and seem a bit boring as well. I’m wondering if this is something he could change or if im just overreacting or if it’s an incompatibility. I do love him and he’s really kind and sweet but I need him to know how he’s feeling but he always says he doesn’t know or that he isn’t thinking about anything. im so scared and i don’t want to break up but I don’t want to be bored and lonely in a relationship forever.

Is normal that I feel like I’m not pure and I don’t deserve love because and I’m worthless because my father mistreat me Whenever I try to convince myself that I’m actually worthy and I deserve better it actually gets worse because of OCD, and I know the solution is to accept these thoughts and ignore it, but I’m afraid of believing it and manifesting it in reality, like if I accept the thought that I’m actually not deserving of love I might act on it and it will actually become a reality and no one will love me

Hello. I want to start by saying that I am in no way offering medical advice to anyone. These are just my personal experiences. I recently completed a 36 course tms regiment for ocd/depression. Did it help? Somewhat. While it helped with my general sense of anxiety and for sure helped with depression, the results were not a miraculous as I’d hoped they’d be. I was struggling pretty badly with daily brain fog and anxiety. I even tried another ssri for a short period in hopes it would help the treatment (currently not on any prescribed meds). I did not tolerate the ssri side effects so quickly went off it. Now here is the part worth sharing. I did start to research ocd and inflammation. I found a plethora of data showing some causation between ocd and inflammation within the brain. I decided to try modifying my diet to see if something in it was inflaming me. I initially went to keto. Boy what a difference it made. My brain fog almost immediately went away. Anxiety and ocd are still there but more muted. I slowly incorporated some carbs back into my diet and found that it maybe gluten that is inflaming me. Hope this helps anyone trying to look for additional areas of focus in their mental health recovery journey. Cheers and keep up the good work.

Okay so I tried erp and I feel so confused because I did what I was supposed to do and tried to expose myself but it never made me triggered cause I knew it was just not a real situation. Like I get so much more triggered in real life situations but I don’t in erp and I try to make it really painful in erp but it doesn’t work.

Hi All, the intrusive thoughts have been really sticking today and I feel so tired of this constant battle. I've been doing ERP for a month but haven't noticed decrease in anxiety level yet. I'm afraid that I will give up the fight and end up committing suicide. I wish I could get a break and feel some relief.

I had sexual orientation OCD but ir makes me feel so strange about my identity and the way I perceive myself. Idk if it’s OCD related but I am having so much distress thinking that I could actually have gender identity problems. I am feeling so anxious right now. I am a woman (biologically), but sometimes I perceive myself or the way I behave masculine and it makes me feel really really uncomfortable. I feel masculine around my girlfriends, and sometimes I feel uncomfortable about the way I dress because I have no idea if it represents me, I question my sexuality, and it gives me so much distress. (I even like a guy but I still question it). I don’t wanna feel like this and I don’t want to have identity problems. Plus, sometimes I depersonalize. Anyone help me please, I don’t know what’s going on I feel so scared

I have to ask.. I have been struggling with OCD forever and I’m pretty good about overcoming it. In fact the images aren’t scary anymore BUT.. does anyone else experience this thing where maybe the thoughts don’t come as what ifs but a “word thought” that terrify the crap out of you and then you get stuck thinking is this who I am.. i have harm ocd so I don’t want to trigger anyone with examples but I really hope this explains what I’m trying to say. Say I’m talking to someone. All of a sudden boom a word or phrase pops out that seems harmful. ***trigger warning: Like someone said I’m going to rest and the word that popped in my head was permanently I know this is dark and I’m sorry but it’s terrifying and this is the last thing I need to “beat” or “get over” in order to move forward. I’m tired of not asking people who don’t understand. Please someone??

My hocd really feels like I want it now. I truly don’t know if I just enjoy the friendship with girls or if I want a relationship WITH that friendship. It feels like the more I think about it the more it feels like I want it. I’ve never wanted this before and I’m terrified that this means I have to leave my long term relationship. Just thinking about everything instantly makes my chest hurt and makes me want to cry.

Im getting angry right now, i the bible would be written in a black and white way cause i cant understand whats right or wrong, same with halloween. If youre a christian and you can think, its clear to you that getting drunk in a party or satanic ritual are not Godly things, its not right to do it. But then what it got me really angry was that people thing its wrong to dress up in a scary costume, cause that means theres something wrong with you, how you think, cause you support murders,demons, like if i dress up as the killer from the movie Scream, then that means that I support stabbing people, murdering them, harm and evil... Dont then see how stupid is this? So with this logic we can say that if you eat meat you support animal killing and torture(btw i eat meat) or if you wear clothes you support child slavery... Where this logic comes from or im missing something? So all the actors who play bad roles that means they agree with that characters behaviour, so the actor who played Judas agree with betraying Jesus...like just think a littlr bit...Is it that i dont live in USA and people who dress up in a scary costume really idolize that character or they agree with them or what? I just like to dress up in scary costume cause i enjoy it? "So you enjoy advertisisng murder" NO... do you eat meat cause you enjoy murdering animals? Its the same thing... its logical to me that murder is bad,or worshipping demons are bad but dressing up as a killer or a ghost isnt supporting them...so with this logic dressing up as a murderer means you support that thing, then letting children dress up as pirates or cowboys why is cute? I mean they wasnt associated with the most kind things... it would be the same thing. Also i liked when i saw clips about childrens in horror movies when they interact with the scary characters behind the scenes, and they learn there that they dont need to be afraid, its just a mask,its not real. We should learn to not be afraid of evil that much. Yes its real i dont deny it, but we have to be aware of it not afraid. Dressing up as a murderer will not make you praise the devil or lose your salvation. Watching one scary movie will not make it vanish what Jesus did to you. Its just a movie, its fake... Its just my opinion but it would be bad either if we would learn to laugh in the eye of devil cause we are with God who is the most powerful thing... THAT DOESNT MEAN IGNORE BAD THINGS. Still you have to be aware but not afraid, God is with us always

It’s 5am and my mind is just runnin; head hurts and I might be dehydrated but I have breath in my lungs and a new day to live and walk in victory. I pray for everyone’s healing ❤️😊

i have had what seems to be ocd tendencies since second grade. at that point it was more physical and stereotypical (ie praying and counting). i had recognized it could be ocd at around 10 and then kind of forgot about it. recently, i have been having intrusive thoughts of what if i don't love my boyfriend, i think he's ugly, what if im lying about everything i say, im manipulating everyone, that was a lie, you're attracted to that random person etc.) i also have things such as unwanted groinial responses. the themes of lying and manipulating everyone are really common, and to be fair i have a lot of trauma regarding those things, but i haven't seen those as themes. i am convincing myself i don't have ocd and am using this app and this self diagnosis as attention seeking. i have a therapist and she seems to think i have the tendencies and says giving it a name helps anyways. however, i still feel like im lying. i feel like im lying about everything and it doesn't go away. i just looked up how to overdose on zoloft and i don't even know why but because i felt the need to tell my boyfriend, i feel like i am being manipulative and i feel like im being manipulative now. can someone please help?

Hi Do any of you have ocd around clothes like bad clothes. if you wear them, sth bad will happen thing? I have been dealing with that issue for quite some time now and I have nothing to wear atp. I am basically living in my underwears and can’t go out because I have nothing to wear. Buying new clothes is also a problem because I keep obsessing over dates like this is a good/bad day to buy new clothes and I can’t seem to find a good day. Like if I see/hear something triggering that day, I can’t buy anything. If the day is a bad number( for my ocd ) or a bad day of the week (mon/tues/thurs/fri/sat/sun), I can’t buy anything either. Could someone please recommend any erp tips for this issue?

I am desperate I’m at the end, I’m stuck with what I believe is real but everyone around me says not, I feel I done something awful to a female walking home drunk, I’m pretty sure my thoughts that night was my life’s changing forever tomorrow, but since this night my life has been crap, I’m depressed and nothings came of it however it’s killing me, if I did something bad I’d own up to it but I’m constantly searching and checking FB posts etc. I’ve been tempted to go to the police station and explain it all, I just feel awful, any suggestions plz? (This has been longer than 1 year)

please can someone help me, almost a year ago i started talking to my boyfriends friend over messages he was being flirty and i think i was flirting back sometimes i felt confused and was unsure if i was in the right relationship with my boyfriend because i liked his attention i also complimented him and said some things i regret like i said to his friend that he was making me confused, his friend said he had feelings for me and i said we can’t talk any more if you feel that way, looking back i feel like i cheated and it haunts me every day i’m so scared, i told my boyfriend what happend but his friend doesn’t know i told my boyfriend though, i missed some parts out that the friend said to me because i was to scared to tell him. i feel like i don’t deserve him i feel like i have to think about it all the time els it’s all gonna go bad and everyone will find out i sort of flirted with him, i feel like i can’t be happy with my boyfriend because i feel like that is just in the background and it’s going to happen like it’s all going to be exposed, i wake up and it’s the first thing i think about i just feel so annoyed with myself i feel like screaming like why did i do that why did i flirt with him, he could easily go and tell everyone what happend like what if everyone already knows? and it makes me so anxious and scared to the point i can’t get out of bed , is it all in my head i don’t know? i feel like i have to ask my friends about it constantly asking if i cheated or should i leave him because i don’t deserve him and they say i’m overthinking but i feel like i have to think about it els something bad will happen, please someone help me , i feel suicidal because of this i hate myself so much i feel like i can’t live my life

By far the biggest trigger for my SOOCD is the idea that people realise their sexuality has changed later in life. If I hear examples of that, it instantly brings me dread and panic. Like, how could I get to 25, never had a second thought, then somehow a random thought pops in, 10 years of anxiety and fear. Kills me!

I went on a date last night and I thought everything was going well. He chatted over drinks for about an hour and a half and he all of a sudden said he doesn't find me physically attractive and he can't pinpoint what it was that he wasn't into. I already had two drinks in me and I started to tear up and cry. I called my friend and cried to her on the phone and he stood over me and watched me cry. I'm 28 and he's 38. I still feel a little hurt and also traumatized in a sense I can't explain it. I understand that not everyone is gonna be attracted to you. But, the way everything seemed fine and just switched is what's upsetting me. I can't get over him saying he doesn't think I'm pretty and the fact that he talked about sex the whole time before that. It makes me petrified to go on other dates now. And as you can well imagine, having ocd makes this situation feel worse :(

After having a peaceful couple weeks, I'm panicked and on edge. I'm getting married in a few weeks and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel like I *NEED* to know my sexuality. My current therapist doesn't think I have OCD, only that I have an attachment wound that needs healing. I don't really have parents anymore and only some of my family are attending the wedding. I suspect I have SO-OCD, because of the desperate need to know if I'm bisexual or secretly a lesbian. Ever since spiraling again, *every* thought goes back to questioning my sexuality, or the sexuality of others. I even get triggered by seeing hugging sisters. Before I thought I had SO-OCD, I was desperately trying to figure out if my partner was "the one". Now that I'm engaged the theme has changed and now I need to figure out my sexuality. I'm not looking for reassurance but I guess posting here gives some kind of relief. What can someone do in my situation? I feel like there's a timer to everything and I need to know ASAP. I don't want to start ERP right now. Can NOCD still help without doing ERP? Thank you, thank you x