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I’m feeling a bit more positive this evening. I was wondering if anyone has recovered from these themes and now leads a relatively normal life? I’d love to hear a success story!

I’ve been dealing with ROCD since February and I’ve been going to therapy and taking Luvox and it’s not as bad as before. However I’m still dealing with this problem that every time I think of my partner in a good light, I get a headache or sometimes if I just think of them in general. Has anyone experienced this with ROCD or with other themes?

my theme is about the loss of my deepest passions and joys. I've had every other theme of OCD and this one? is the absolute worst. I've gone to the hospital multiple times having rolling panic attacks over it. i don't care anymore that it doesn't sound as "bad" as other kinds of themes. I've had them. this is the worst one to me. a life without my passions is barely living

The guilt is too much, I made ‘mistakes’ with females before and now that one night is sticking out in my head that I done something so awful to a female (think worst case scenario) when I was walking home intoxicated, I’ve struggled with it for over a year and nothings helping . Please help

So last night, I was about 5-6 shots in and had a complete episode. My boyfriend was trying to break up with me (valid reason) and I got irate. I don’t remember much but he says we started arguing over the fact, I got up like I could fight him, punched him in the face and started screaming “I hate you” “Get tf away” “Leave already” and once even said “Kys”. He walked away and left to talk to my parents I guess. I locked the door behind him, crawled onto the bunk bed inside of my camper. We have a tank that holds our mouse, Jimmy Beast. My guilt had boiled over. I couldn’t take it anymore. I completely acted out all of my intrusive thoughts in that moment. I started punching the tank. I continued driving my fist into the glass until after it shattered, took the glass, and did something I haven’t done in over a year. At this point, I was screaming, crying, shaking, banging my head on the wall. During the midst of it I thought he was yelling back at me. I imagined him physically yelling at me from behind the door, but his voice soften and shook me. I just sat there in shock. “Baby please let me in.” I got up and staggered to the door. Unlocked it. His eyes met mine and welded with tears. “We’ll get you the help you need, okay? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” And then I confessed everything on my mind. This morning has been a rough one, trying to recall what’s happened and feel comfortable in my own skin when I feel like everyone thinks I’m insane.

I am obsessing over him still. He is in my thoughts continually. We had a beautiful relationship online. We video calls all the time. He would take me on walks with him from work. He would call me from work video chat when he could. His love voice so pure. I really believe it is a true love. He is far away for me in distance. We can’t ever be together. It just couldn’t work. We told ourselves that it didn’t matter. That the love with out for each other was enough. He came to a point where he told me that he wanted me to find to love here. That he couldn’t be with me all the time, to be there for me he said that I needed someone to hold me and to care for me. He asked me to please find someone and be happy in my life. He said he needed my happiness. Of course my heart was shattered, I couldn’t except it. I tried to tell him I didn’t want anyone else that I just wanted him I begged and pleaded. He finally got a little harsh, and I don’t blame him because I couldn’t accept it. He kept asking me to please accept reality and find someone there close to me. I kept praying for God’s grace to help me through this. You see I truly love him. I finally said goodbye to him, but what I don’t understand is two days later he messaged me and said. Good morning sweetheart. I love you. I messaged the same back to him. I was so happy to hear from him I was just shaking. The next day he told me that he was working night shift and he said I love you sweetheart. Yeah, I asked him how he was doing and that I hope he was well. I don’t understand, but he did not respond. My husband had Alzheimer’s for the last four years. He did not know me. I got very lonely. I needed someone to love me and needed someone to give my love to. We had a beautiful relationship. My husband and I he was my everything. I love him with all my heart. He passed six weeks ago. It is hard for me to understand with loving my husband so much that I can be in love with this other gentleman so deeply but I did fall for him. I keep giving it to God but I keep taking it back, I am in so much pain, it hurts so bad. If this gentleman really wants me to find someone here to love me, I don’t understand his recent messages. I am just miserable. I just don’t know how to go on without my husband, and without this gentleman My heart aches and it hurts so bad. I want to thank everyone for listening to me. You are very kind. Only by the grace of God can I get through this. This gentleman also says that he will always love me and he will always be with me. But that he needs for me to find happiness here. If anyone out there, can you help me understand this whole thing, I would be so appreciative. Thank you from the bottom of my heart again.

I wake up anxious everyday to the point when it makes me gag. As the day goes on I can kinda pull myself out of it a little but it’s still there? Any tips??

I was better for a while. Always have the thoughts of breaking up, but today is more intense i cant stop crying, and my anxiety is higher. Im so scared i dont want to break up, but then another thought comes up of me not seeing a future with him and it makes me doubt everything. HELP

Do you remember how you felt about your days before OCD? Before everything was difficult because of OCD? I remembered how carefree and cheerful I was towards my days and I don't really get that anymore. I'm content, but I know I could be happier. I could have more confidence and self esteem in myself. I just don't feel like that anymore. It's always less than that. Not having a lot of self esteem and constantly remembering my regrets and shame doesn't really help. It makes me not want to pursue much. Some days I can, but other days not. Physical symptoms are also not great either.

So last week I posted that I was a bit worried that my therapist had made me do something related to ERP, and I said I wasn't ready. I'd called it CBT because I didn't know any better. I thought it must be my mistake, I was mixed up. I had people correcting me because I called it CBT. I completely got them mixed up but thats not my fault. My therapist explicitly asked and confronted me several times using the term CBT over the course of a 2 week period. First was when I officially got diagnosed with OCD, the next week, she said, again, I'm going to do CBT with you. I am NOT READY for ERP. !!! I have *severe* anxiety that needs to be addressed before I try exposure. I felt guilty making the ERP/CBT mistake on THIS APP but its Not My Fault. And you guys were very kind to me in correcting me, so thank you for that. You made me see what was really going on. My friend told me I should seek a new therapist because this big of a mistake has set me back and made me hesitant to go back or see progression in my mental health with this therapist. But it took me So Long to reach out for help, and looking for a therapist & starting new is always rough. :(

Does anybody have tips or resources for real event OCD? I feel like I’m stuck ruminating and every time I make the situation worse.

How can I know the difference between my real thoughts and OCD thoughts?

Ok so this might be a long one, I didn’t realize I had OCD until recently and when I found out it was such a weight off my chest! I’ve struggled with this since I was a child I used go to constantly wash my hands to the point that they were dry and cracked and had a fear of touching certain things like bleach and still do but not a much but my nan was in the garden and I went out in a panic because I touched a bleach bottle and thought I was going to die and she had compost on her gloves and rubbed it all over her face and was like do you think I’ll die now? After that it snapped me out of it but then it changed to something else, I was playing a game boy a lot and my mam told me to stop playing it so much or it would have my brain buzzing and one night when I was randomly playing it I started to panic and imagined a game boy in my brain and I had severe anxiety and didn’t even know what it was, all I could tell my mam was that I feel nervous all the time! Eventually that stopped too and when I got to around 14/15 I had a dream my friend who is a girl tried to kiss me and woke up in instant panic! All of a sudden I kept having thoughts of being a lesbian when I knew I wasn’t and have always liked boys! I’ve always wanted boys attention I’ve never felt attracted to girls ever! This effected me for months and the anxiety was so bad I could barely eat and sleep and getting up in the morning to go straight to the bathroom to get sick the anxiety was taking over totally and the thoughts never stopped. I was constantly repeating sentences in my head over and over like I know I’m a girl and I know I like boys for reassurance. I couldn’t look at any girl without feeling panic. I looked in the mirror and didn’t feel real, it was so bad I used to cry and think about ending my life and it would make me feel better but I didn’t want to hurt my family, I spoke to them and told them how I was feeling and eventually this stopped to a certain extent. Now I’m older and all of a sudden these thoughts have come back again. It’s so bad I could be in bed with my boyfriend and feel like I’m lying to him but I’m not I know I love him more than anything and I think about the time we first met and how excited I was and how happy I was and I want to feel like that again. Some days are better than others ❤️ when it’s so bad I lie in bed and can’t sleep I’m afraid I’ll dream of the intrusive thoughts I have in certain scenarios. I used to think there was something wrong with me and if I told people what I was thinking they would think I’m a freak and still do. Im glad I’ve found an app where there’s other people that go through the same thing I go through. I hope I can eventually get over this and be happy and not let these thoughts affect me!

Hi, new here to NOCD 👋🏼 I have struggled with what I now know as somatic OCD for the last 3 1/2 years, when it comes to breathing & taking deep breaths. I have noticed that I spend 98% of my day, thinking about it & paying attention to it. I know it’s a normal bodily function but I get the urge to take deep breaths every couple of mins. When I don’t get “a full deep breath”, it sends me into a panic & the intrusive thoughts start.. “what if I never get a deep breath again” “there is nothing I can do to make myself get that full deep breath” “if I don’t get a deep breath, you must not be able to breathe” - sometimes these thoughts & moments totally take over & I find myself spiraling. I feel like all my walls are closing in & my heart starts racing. The panic usually lasts a couple of mins if that but it feels like forever. I’m much better at handling and working through it now than I was 3 years ago, but I still have bad moments & sometimes bad days. At times, I’m able to talk myself through it & I don’t let it take over but other times, it feels uncontrollable. NOCD has been helpful so far, it’s comforting knowing I’m not alone. I’m just wondering if anyone else deals with this type of OCD? Have you found anything to be helpful to deal with it? Thanks in advance.

I’m honestly losing😞 soocd is so hard to fight I’m getting new battles everyday. Pls can someone tell me if this gets better and that it doesn’t prove my sexual orientation 😞. Sexual orientation does not change why would mine change all of a sudden. It makes me question myself and less confidence now. I hate it sm

I have concrete evidence that I did not harm someone while I was in a blacked-out state due to drinking (I have quit drinking for good). The person has concretely said that no harm was ever done to them by me, but my OCD tries to find ways around it because now I think I might have told them to say that I never harmed them. Now, my whole family knows about my OCD, and what I thought happened. I am so embarrassed of myself. I feel like I'm going crazy. I am 34, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to start a family of my own. I am on disability because I am unable to work due to my OCD. I am trying to get my Master's degree in Software Engineering, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to do anything with it since my OCD makes it difficult to interact with people. Many people tell me that I am a good person, but my OCD makes me question the veracity of their claims. Sometimes, I think I'd be better off dead, but I don't have the guts to actually follow through with suicide.

Salaam walaikum, I need help, I'm a Muslim, I pray 5 times a day, but idk what's going on in my head, it's like I'm going crazy I can't explain it, like for the last 3 months I've had no peace in my head, I believe Allah SWT exists but there's something in my head dragging me down saying he doesn't exist and there is no god, I've been praying tahajudd and making dua sincerely, please help idk what to do, I don't want to be an atheist but it's just thoughts running through my head making me crazy please help Idk if I'm possessed or something idk, I want to get these thoughts out of my head but I can't, I can't do anything, these thoughts are literally in my head like 24/7, I'm not in my normal state I can't explain it, it's like I'm in constant derealisation, i forget stuff alot, I am in constant stress, I get panic attacks. I'm not normal anymore I haven't had ease for 3 months straights, I get into state in my head that my mind goes blank I can't think straight, RN I'm in that state that I can't explain, the only way I can't get out of this is through Allah and islam, like a few days ago I got out of this state, was awake, was normal, had my memory back, I could think straight, the only way I can ignore this waswasa is if some is talking about Allah and me ignoring it and I keer forgetting how to ignore the waswasa I’m contstantly in my thoughts So I can’t think properly I can’t focus I’m constantly zoned out I feel so close to being normal yet so far I’m contstantly in my thoughts So I can’t think properly I can’t focus I’m constantly zoned out I feel so close to being normal yet so far I see everything like I’m high, I have memory loss I can’t think properly or critically, me it’s like I’m stuck in my mind, my head hurts when I try to focus, it’s like my brain is just blank,

I try to get an answer for this, i tried to find sites if they talk about this but all i could find was that i dont really believe and all that cr*p that makes you just feel bad... I feel like i got dissapointed by many christians, just because we believe there is one truth but I start to feel like this "one truth" has many variants too... just look at the religions, they all believe differently and blame the other one that they do it wrong... We should be the ones who show what is the love of God but the soo called "christians" are the same or worse people than people who doesnt believe. We dont have one belief, everyone has a different view about God and that makes me question so many things... however i go back to the problem, i dont know why i feel cringe now whenever i hear about Jesus is our saviour, we need God, just makes me feel cringe and shy to talk about this with people, it feels so corny and cringey. I feel bad about it cause i want to feel good about God, i still believe, but this feeling makes me suffer... Many people i know can listen to christian songs and they like it, i like some, but many makes me feel weird. Likd I rather listen wordly music cause i like the rhytm or the vibe, then listen christian music, and this makes me feel guilt too cause i cant grow in my faith... I feel like all christian music are sad, makes you feel guilt that Jesus died for you and you dont deserve that, or like the world is so bad, or if they are positive songs, they are cringey... its like a child wrote it...Isnt there christian songs about life or relationships, how to party, have fun in a christian way? Its all "Jesus is our king and saviour, we are so happy..." I feel bad cause i dont want to talk bad about Jesus, yes we need that kind of music too, but its all we have... it makes me feel ashamed sometimes to be a christian. Like other have these fun lifes(im not talking about sinful things) and all we say is "go to church,dress well,be serious, you have to be careful what you watch, what you listen, what you say and all this things that makes christians look cringey and boring for wordly people and not beacuse sin feels more fun, no, I just dont believe that being a christian has to be this boring, if God is good, being with Him shouldnt feel cringe. I feel like lot of christians feel uncomfortable being themselfs, their personality is that they are christians... and i dont mean the "identity of christ, thats biblical, but this is something else... its like when outside with christians, im afraid to say anything funny cause i dont know how they will react...and this makes me feel like im the bad person. Cause everything they dont do its a sin, and my ocd makes me feel like yes i rather be cool for the world then believe in God... i deal alot of guilt in this. I feel cringe about being a christian and i feel shame to be open about it, but i want to stop feeling this, i want to feel good about that. But all this "you are saved" things makes me just feel cringe and then the "its because you dont believe enough" makes me feel guilt... idk what to do

So I went to my (new) doctor today (i dont know how to say it in English, but i think its called: general practitioner). Ofcourse she is just a regelar doctor, but it seemed like she never heard of mental obsessions and compulsions and the existence of pure ocd. She kept on asking me what i did, like washing my hands, etc. I tried to explain that the ocd was only in my mind and she seemed like she didnt understand that its ocd and like she thought i didnt actually have ocd. Now i feel like i dont have ocd, that im just overreacting, like its not that bad as people with "real ocd, with physical and visible compulsions". I feel so ashamed that I came to her, while she was like; but you dont even do anything, so what are you talking about. Is my form of ocd, pure, real event, moral obsessions, etc. that rare? 😔 Is it less hard to deal with than physical ocd? I dont know anymore... i feel like a fake ocd...

I’m not anxious, I don’t think I’m depressed, I just feel blah, no emotions, super negative, like I hate everything and everyone, I want to change my whole life because it’s not who I am and I don’t feel like I’m a cute little girl anymore like my style and what I want is life is just ruined and not what I want anymore and my head hurts and I just am so negative nothing feels right I don’t feel like I love anyone, care about anything, and just everything’s bad. Can anyone relate?