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the NOCD Community

i’d love to talk to anyone abt any ocd struggles if you’re interested, or even just anything in general. just feels good to get it all out once in a while :)

every once in a while my body image issues flare up & it can get intense. i obsess over the feeling I have in my clothes to check if I’ve gained weight, think of food, and have this perception that everyone sees me in a certain light I don’t want to see. i really can beat myself up with negative self talk. i haven’t realized until today since body image issues are so common that this could be my ocd. i used to engage in highly restrictive behavior when it came to food—I eliminated any white carbs, dairy, meat, etc & would do intermittent fasting. it’s hard not to fall into this obsession. I gained a few pounds over the last couple of months and it makes me feel anxious for the summer. anyone have a similar experience? x

“Teardrops on my Guitar” by Taylor Swift is very helpful to see that you are not alone when dealing with unrequited love. My crush (my taken boss) left and it broke my heart. This song may have also reminded me of the first guy who I had a massive crush on, during my last semester of college. I did not want to date at the time, and he was not my type. However, I loved his body and he seemed nice and respectful and caring and mature. I also thought he dressed nice. I never talked to him, though. I had a bad self-image and thought that he was too attractive for me and he would maybe think I am too ugly for him. I had trouble eating sometimes that semester and listening to this song reminded me of the pain that I felt at that time. I thought I didn’t dress nice enough for him, either, Now, a little over three years later, I am much more confident and am in a different place in my life. I didn’t let myself dream about him and that made me sad, but now I do. I love men ❤️‍🔥. The song also reminds me of school. I was bullied in high school and I don’t wanna think of high school anymore. It reminds me of college too (fortunately a lot better than high school!). Check it out if you need to! My therapist recommended country music as having a lot of songs for unrequited love ❤️❤️‍🔥💔☹️😢🥺💕💘

I posted something earlier about going to a concert and being proud that I didn’t wear a mask. I’m afraid to catch norovirus and people keep saying it’s going around Like crazy atm and I’m like super anxious that I will get it. I read something that said you usually develop symptoms 24-48 hours after exposure ( it’s been 72hrs since the concert) but I so scared that I will get it and I’m like so anxious and I regret not wearing a mask. It’s like I’m so anxious I can’t sleep😩

Hi there! I was diagnosed with OCD when I was about 17 but never really understood it. I never knew there were so many subtypes of OCD. There are things that I do that I knew were OCD related like intrusive thoughts, excessive counting, and excessive organization. I used to take medication for it but I was young and didn’t think I needed it so I stopped taking it. As of lately, I’ve been going through a lot of stress and anxiety. I was already flirting with the idea of therapy but felt I had a good handle on life and told myself I could get myself through most issues, but lately I’ve even stressed and overwhelmed so I finally decided to make an appointment. In my therapy research I began doing more OCD research as well and realized that a lot of my life centers around OCD. I always thought it was just anxiety or feeling unsure about myself but after doing this research I’m starting to think my OCD is a lot worse than I thought it was. Sometimes I write an email at work and read it over several times to make sure I didn’t make a mistake, every night before bed I check several times that the stove/oven are off and that the doors are locked because I’m afraid my family and I will die overnight, I’ve come to learn that the counting makes me comfortable and that my cleaning and organizational preferences aren’t just “quirky”, I’ve learned that avoidance is a symptom of OCD which has also affected my work, when my loved ones are sleeping I always check to see that they’re still breathing, I reread directions several times to make sure I don’t miss anything or make a mistake, I press the lock button on my car several times even if I’ve already heard the beep, unread notifications on my phone make me anxious because I’m worried someone is trying to tell me bad news or someone is threatening me. The list goes on. I’m definitely interested in seeking more treatment and learning coping skills but I’m afraid it will change me as a person. I like who I am, what if I manage my organization skills and then I become too messy or I stop checking directions or things I wrote and I make too many mistakes, etc. I think I have to keep reminding myself that treatment will make me more comfortable in my own body and mind and that it is definitely a good choice and a step in the right direction. I really didn’t expect this post to be this long 😅 but getting all of this off my chest feels good! I’m open to any advice and/or words of encouragement. Thank you for your time

I’m really upset because I booked my first week of therapy last week and I made sure to confirm that NOCD had my referral from my insurance company. I even emailed the billing company and confirmed that I didn’t have a Co-pay. After I booked it, my appt was changed to another therapist because they said they booked the one appt in error. So I started seeing the therapist (saw her 2 times) and tonight at 5:10 pm I got a text that she was not “in-network” so they wanted to know if I wanted to keep seeing her because they said I was paying the CASH PRICE!!! I literally confirmed that I had insurance coverage and it covered this in full, this was their error! I am so mad! Of course I do not want to pay $170 cash per hour! And I never wanted to! They should have called me and changed my therapist before letting me see her. So now I’m freaking out about the bills! I told them I won’t pay it. They said I have to wait to talk to the billing dept on Monday. I think that is rude to do to someone with anxiety (message me after hours on a Friday night). They sent an email earlier in the week but it was in my spam. So I never saw it. They should have called! When I made a big deal about not having a Co-pay, why would I want to pay the whole visit in full? And it is not my responsibility to know which ones of their doctors are in-network and which ones aren’t. Now my whole weekend is ruined because I am sick over this.

I'm just feeling pretty bad about myself bcuz I literally just don't know how to make friends. Everytime I think I make a friend they don't stay. People tell me all the time they love my personality and that I'm really 'fun' but I guess just not good enough to make a friend and that sucks. Like maybe I'm too much, and too weird, which I get sometimes. Im 21 for reference. I don't know. How do I be myself if no one actually really likes 'myself' ?

I am fairly new to the site, but have already been able to connect with a few of y'all that are struggling with some of the same things as I am. I have had OCD for years, but I never attributed my struggles to OCD, until I started down the path of harm OCD and the intrusive thoughts. Back in the beginning of December, I had a couple of intrusive thoughts come in about "what if" I harmed my husband and then one towards my youngest daughter. I let it get me so overwhelmed that I ended up in urgent care after passing out at my in-laws due to dehydration and lack of sleep. I finally found a therapist who informed me that I had OCD and that I hadn't just suddenly become a psychopath. But, even knowing that it is OCD, there has always been that doubt, as I am sure all of you have experience with. I am working on accepting the thoughts as just thoughts and moving on with my day. I have been working on not ruminating and just telling the thoughts, "maybe, maybe not." The problem is, every day, it is like the OCD is trying to convince me why I might harm my family. Every little thing that irritates me, my brain says, "See..you're getting frustrated with your kids. It makes sense that you would hurt them." On and on it goes and then I get the thought, maybe this is what I want. Maybe I am just an angry person. Maybe I have just finally had enough. I hate the "I" statements because I have never wanted to harm anyone, let alone my babies or my hubby. But, OCD tells me that I do. Has anyone else struggled with this? I have never wanted to harm anyone. I have always tried to protect my babies and do everything I can to protect my marriage as well. I just hate that OCD seems to be trying to convince me that it's not just thoughts, but that I actually want these things.

No encouragement please because it wears thin. I’ve been single for 19 years. I’m not hideous, I’m a little overweight from meds but not incredibly so. Women have always enjoyed my company. I keep turning down good offers because of morals. I’ve had offers from attractive 19 year olds but I said no because I was over thirty and it felt wrong. I’ve had offers from drunk women… nope, women in relationships… nope, women have offered to have sex with me in exchange for my drugs… nope and I gave them the drugs (I’ve been clean for 7 years now). Now I have it in my head that I appear weird to them and I can’t even start conversations incase they scream pervert or something. I’m at the point (I’m 40) where I have come to terms with it. That should be depressing and I should not be okay with being single for the rest of my life but here I am settling for something I don’t want because of my illness. I know that whatever people say it won’t change a thing because they have said it for nearly twenty years and like I say it wears thin. People shouldn’t give you false hope.

I cut myself for the first time today. Life's too hard, I dont know what to do. I got my first job and I'm starting tomorrow and I'm a wreck, I'm worried sick that I won't be able to work due to my social anxiety. I keep having suicidal thoughts. I feel trapped.

I feel like anytime I become really close to someone I can’t differentiate platonic or romantic feelings. My thoughts run wild thinking things along the lines of “you like them” “they secretly like you” “you could do —, —, or — with them.” I believe I’m Bisexual so I have these thoughts for both male & female, but sometimes I even worry about whether or not I’m really bisexual or if I’m just straight with extreme intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these thoughts about best friends, coworkers, & even relatives & it’s extremely disturbing. It makes me feel shameful for having these thoughts, especially with relatives or when in a relationship. I constantly have to tell myself that they’re just thoughts & I wouldn’t actually want anything to happen. I really don’t want to ruin my relationships with these people, but these thoughts wont go anyway no matter how many times I try to think the opposite in response to change my mindset. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about it & I’m very grateful that he’s so understanding, but it still troubles me. I’m really glad there’s another alternative of talking about these things

My ocd is harm and it’s one sentence “kill your daughter “ when ever it flares up that’s all it is it’s never ANYTHING ELSE just that for days hours. I’ve heard had any visions or any other obsession just that sentence can anyone relate

My OCD began around the age of 5 and followed me throughout childhood and into adolescence, making every day a struggle. My intrusive thoughts were very, very scary, and not a lot of people around me knew what OCD was. Only after years of therapies and medications that didn’t work for me did I finally find the proper treatment—ERP therapy—which would change my life, help me manage OCD, and allow me to do the things I love again! I spent more than 15 years struggling before I got here. How long has OCD been affecting you?

At 60 I am wondering how many of you , like me are lifetimes? What has your experience been? Isn’t it great how NOCD is an option now? I really thought I was a freak and so lonely at the onset of this…. So grateful to know I’m not alone. I wonder how much better I would have done back then with this type of support?

This is so hard for me to say but I have a 4 year old son. I am now pregnant and out of nowhere I get intrusive thoughts about my sons private parts. It not sexual or anything instead it makes me mad like they pop up in my head over and over and it drives me mad. I don’t know why this is happening to me. I don’t understand it.

does anyone else have really bad emetephobia? any advice?

Anyone got any info about this, what they take, side effects they had, amount, etc

Ugh…I’m on the struggle bus rn. I cooked 20$ worth of pork chops (followed the recipe to a T and used a cooking thermometer); I took one bite and couldn’t swallow. Spit it out and proceeded to mouth wash, rinse, and spit, spitting over and over until it felt like all the remnants of the food were gone. Then I threw it all away. I googled multiple pages to ensure I cooked them right. Even before cooking them, I smelled them and inspected them thoroughly, ensuring they were good. I’m exhausted, and I feel sick.

My brain feels so overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts, I'm finding it hard to think. It's becoming difficult to get things done because I can't establish direction. It's never been this bad before and it just keeps getting worse. How do I reset?

Can someone recommend a book to help parents with a teen with OCD? My daughter currently suffers from religious OCD. She thinks the devil is going to harm her or someone. She asked me for help but I honestly don’t know how to help her. She is currently in therapy and taking Fluvoxamine, but I have not seen any progress and I think her anxiety is actually getting worse. Her therapist does not specialize in OCD so we are looking into other options. I am looking for any advice, I feel very helpless and don’t know how to comfort her. I feel like I am saying all the wrong things. Thanks