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My partner proves to me each day how much he loves me. He is kind, patient, and most importantly present. Even so, I obsess over the small flaws and convince myself he isn’t good or he is a “liar.” It’s almost as if i self sabotage and will believe the fears in my head to the point where I am obsessing that he isn’t the one. The constant theme was planted in my head when his EX 2.5 years ago called him a Narcissist because he no longer wanted to be with her. Now every time something isn’t perfect i obsess over that term and convince myself he is a bad person over very minor things. please help me. i love him and he sticks by my side even when i’m in an obsession. I have shared these thoughts with him and he will sit there and go through the characteristics of a “Narcissist” and will logically help me see that he doesn’t fit that description to help me cope. He is good. I just want to be happy with him rather, him being my theme. My ocd attacks all things I love the most.

The good news is that we can tolerate these 'difficult' feelings- we may not enjoy them but they are manageable. I have never ever heard anyone say to me that they LOVE anxiety- but they can get through it and they don't need to 'do' anything to get rid of the feelings when they have OCD- the feelings will pass on their own. You can do this.

i got this app because i have order and symmetry ocd, but after reading the descriptions, i relate some of the other types of ocd, and can’t tell if i have that as well. all the time i notice that i “mess” with my eyelashes- i don’t pull them out or anything, but i kind of bend them in a way that feels “just right,” but it generally goes on for minutes or hours because i physically can’t get myself to stop because it doesn’t feel just right. is that maybe perfectionism ocd? i’ve noticed recently too that when i remember old memories, like ones 10+ years ago, i wonder if they’re really real or if they’re just a fake occurrence that i made up. i especially think this when i remember some of my earliest memories, like from being a toddler, and i feel like there’s no way i can prove they’re real. is that false memory? (ofc this isn’t a professional diagnosis, but it’s be nice to hear from other people who do have it to give insight)

In the beginning of this, I started having moments of clarity where I knew my obsession was ridiculous and untrue. I even remember saying given my past it's nothing to worry about. Then when it started going on longer I started losing more hope it was giving me thoughts of liking it and I started getting those moments of clarity less and less until I stopped getting them completely. I started doubting my past. When I tried to recover the first time, I still felt like I believed the thoughts. Then of course it attacked my past randomly one day in high anxiety and I got a third false memory. I got maybe 2 moments of clarity then. But ever since it's been like 0 moments of clarity, stuck believing it. Basically my question is, when you start believing your OCD theme or start doubting your past bc OCD does, can the moments of clarity and the attraction to the opposite sex go away completely?

I’m a trans man, I’ve been on testosterone for over two years and I’m post-op top surgery. I’ve rarely ever had doubts about being a man ever since coming out but the other day my intrusive thoughts have just been horrendous and I’ve been really struggling. I’m constantly questioning things like what If I’m not really a guy and what if I actually am a girl. I haven’t really had any gender dysphoria in awhile so I’m questioning like what if I’m not really trans? And what if I don’t actually see myself as a man? Logically I’m trying to tell myself it’s just ocd but then it’s like what if it’s not my ocd and what if you’re not actually trans and what if you’ve been lying to yourself. I’ve never dealt with this before and been really really struggling with it.

Does anyone else worry and going to sleep so much that it's hard to go to sleep and stay asleep. Or how does ocd affect yalls sleep. I just found out that I had it after years of battling thought about my health and other things in my life now I'm obsessing over sleep.what makes it worse is when I have a clear mind after distracting myself I revert back to the slave mind and it feels again like a weight is in my mind.

Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?

Dont be too harsh to yourself. Your struggle with ocd doesnt define your personality. And healing is a process so stay patient.

I am barely able to keep on living. I can barely get to bed without hours of washing. I can barely get through a shower. I know I should probably head to a hospital but my last time in one left me feeling extremely misunderstood and traumatized. I really need another option than meds or therapy. My anxiety is simply too intense and worsens far too quickly for me to do therapy. I have tried to start therapy a few times the last couple of years and have only been told I am not in the right place to do so. I really need a way to lessen my anxiety. I'm considering anything from surgery to stimulation. I did find a story of a person similar to me getting better with Focused Ultrasound but that was with a trial that seems to be over.

Is anyone on this app like fully recovered & live a mostly ocd free life? If so, please share. I feel like im like halfway through recovery..bad days & good days just need some positive words had a bad couple past days.

Can you guys give some idea or tips how can i lessen my Procrastination i mean (if anyone knows) At this rate I'm almost sure i have adhd but haven't gone to a professional And i have no clue how to at least lessen this so if anybody knows any idea suggest me :(

I’m curious about everyone’s relationship with alcohol. For me alcohol makes my ocd very bad.

I’m so scared. Tonight my boyfriend is going to a party with my friends. I’m so scared he will like my friend and will impress her or something or will like her more than me. Because before we dated he said she was pretty. We met on a dating platform so that’s where I know him from. We’re together now for 5 months and he is going to meet my friend tonight for the first time. My other friends has he already met. But I’m also jealous of her sometimes because a lot of guys think she’s pretty and look at her when we’re going out. So I’m scared he will think she’s pretty or like her or something. I’m so sad about it and scared. Can anybody help me ?

Hi All, How do people in this community deal with having no one to talk to when needing to cope with depression or anxiety? I’ve tried talking to my family and friends, but they’re all sick and tired of me and my OCD. Every time I try to bring up my concerns, they just shut me down with “Stop the OCD!”, “Go away!”, or just ignore me completely. I know this support group exists for this, but realistically, I can’t come here every time I have something I want to talk about. I’m not sure what else to try, I’ve lost all my friends and now losing family members. I’ve even tried warning them “what I’m about to say is triggering” but that just makes it worse.

I’m spiraling from touching a wall I had touched when I went home from outside and used the public bathroom from December.I don’t remember cleaning it. I just touched it an hour ago and my anxiety’s been up and down. Anyone knows any methods to relax or anything? I’m starting ERP and I want to get better so badly.

Hello, I’m new here. I don’t have a formal diagnosis, just sharing my experiences with my obsessive thoughts. The only compulsion I really have is note taking. I feel the need to hoard most of my thoughts and write extensive to do lists, even scolding myself in notes like “be better!” or “STOP being the way you are.” When driving or unavailable to write things down, I have to repeat the thoughts in my head so I won’t forget until I can “save” them. Does anyone else have any experience with this fear of forgetting/not living the perfect life? My notes also revolve around anything someone might causally mention, taking turmeric for example. Will I ever incorporate that into my routine? No, but I write it down just in case because otherwise I’m convinced I won‘t live a healthy, fulfilling life. This all started when I lost a relative and also my house. I wonder if those losses made me subconsciously afraid to lose more? I don’t know. On the bright side, my current medication has been helping my depression. I am able to function and get out of bed, for the most part. But when I am in class or work, I have such crippling self doubt. I don’t feel like I am capable of anything. I don’t trust myself with any tasks. It really gets me down, my thoughts just spiral and I can’t see myself being able to hold down a job that involves working with people…that leads to more note taking of how I can improve. I get such anxiety if I don’t know every little thing there is to know, necessary or not. I get so caught up in it that I can’t even do the bare minimum I DO know without messing up. Even my class notes are full of irrelevant notes from my obsessive thoughts that appear during a lesson, and a girl that sits near me laughs because of how crazy my notebook looks.

As in, how long was your ocd being quite and not loud and you felt like you reverted to your normal ways?

Anyone have any relatable situations with checking things such as the stove, the sink, the doors and locks before bed? I need relief. I understand it pertains to safety and the urge to want to keep myself and my family see but I’m also at the point where I am not sleeping and I am physically hurting myself by closing the door so hard with my hand over and over again to make sure that when I’m in bed with my hand or arm throbbing, it’s because I know I checked.. anyone else?

my partner in arguments feels like when i confront him about him being mean or rude , he gets defensive and when i distance myself or get mad then he apologizes. and some of his apologies somehow include me. and don’t get me wrong we have a lot of good times and moments. and i love him deeply. but is this a sign we shouldn’t be together? he is 23 years old and he has trouble with accountability and he victimizes himself. and i am so tired i love him a lot and i don’t want to throw away 2 years. plus he has been so patient and caring with my ROCD. but sometimes he apologizes genuinely but i feel like what if he’s doing that because he doesn’t want to lose me? does it ever get better , i don’t want to let go of him. i want to fix us. do we have hope? he said he wants to and will fix himself. but what if thats an empty statement to get me off his back? it makes me feel like he’s evil sometimes but i know he can also be really caring and kind. he also is an emotional person. if one bad thing happens it ruins most of his day and he takes everything to heart. and when we argue he’s so defensive it seems like we are talking to each other and having 2 different convos. he completely misses my point at times and it seems like he isn’t even listening and he seems irritated. but he wouldn’t even have to hear this again if he listens. how do i know he isn’t just an evil person. i just think about all the bad things and my mind is blocking the good memories. so i literally just see him as an evil person in this moment. and its making me feel uneasy. if you read this whole novel thanks

I have mood apps that I track my feelings and activities and relationships in. I have done it for a year and 2 months. I feel like it’s making me obsess over my feelings and stressful relationship even more. My family says delete them if it’s doing more harm than good. I just exported the data after a long day but I can’t get myself to delete them. Is this ocd? Should I? I’m scared if I do I won’t be paying attention to how I feel and then my relationship will be crappy forever and then I’ll never break up if it stays the same or gets worse then I’ll die unhappy in the very end. I’m so anxious