Welcome to
the NOCD Community

does anyone else’s ocd get worse during their period too?

If anyone is willing to connect with me on ROCD, I’d greatly appreciate it! Having a tough time.

‼️‼️TW:BULLYING:‼️‼️ I just had a breakdown in front of the whole school I’m so scared I’m hiding in the bathroom rn.I just get bullied non stop bc I’m goth I jus wanna be able to get my fucking work done but with this going on and my mental health problems I can’t.My grades are dropping drastically and my attendance is out of wack.Everyone’s disappointed in me. I keep getting told I’m imagining shit and nothings happening.The counselor even yelled at me today.Everyone’s turning away when I need help but I’m always right there when ppl need me.I jus got out of the mental ward and I’m alr back to the point where I wanna kms.

I’m not sure I have been riding horses since I was a baby. Over the past three years I have been debating if I like riding. My horse has been slipping and it has really been effecting me. All is I question is she is dangerous to ride. Before this happened all I could think about was riding was a chore. It is very hard to differentiate if I really like the horses. I woke up at 5 am worrying about it. I j feel like I don’t want them. It is causing me to fall in a depression and it’s all I think about. Please advice.

Good afternoon all; I’ve recently noticed when I have a change occur in my life that my anxiety and OCD goes off the chart. Do others have this happen to them? How do others deal with the situation in the moment and after? I’m currently laid up in bed, a stressful and anxious mess, taking a leave of absence from work due to changes that have been going on there that I’m overwhelmed with. Any coping strategies for now and at work would be appreciated.

Can you believe we are already through the first month of 2023? We did it! I want to take this time to check in. I know some of you shared with me your goals for 2023. How have you been doing and how is your ROCD? If January was great goal wise - awesome, please share! If it was tough or maybe those goals sat on the backburner, that's okay too. How can we do better for February? Remember - we are on this journey together!

I‘m sorry for the really long text. There is something I have been struggling with for a while now and I never talked about my current situation with anyone so far. :( I would appreciate any responses like advice and/or own experiences. Anything. I‘ve been together with my partner for over three months now and I feel like ever since the first day of our relationship I have been struggling with ROCD. It is my second relationship as well as the second time I’m experiencing it. So far I‘ve had a few different fears in my current one but there is one in particular that I haven’t been able to get over since around almost three months now. It all started when my boyfriend asked me to tell him if I ever liked someone else. I promised I would but I felt uneasy at the idea of it because in my last relationship I experienced extreme distress after I felt butterflies because of a classmate I used to have a big crush on years ago which led to me obsessing over it for months until I eventually stopped being scared of it. I got over that fear by spending time with that guy and being around him, the butterflies faded away too, they were only there twice before the obsession started. After that it was just extreme anxiety. Before all of that, I never paid any attention to him, never noticed him or even cared when he walked past me. The „butterflies“ might have only been excitement though because I got them after I was seated near him in class. A few years before that, we sat next to each other and it was really fun because we kept joking around during class and laughed a lot. On top of that, when I got that sensation, I don’t remember having any romantic thoughts. I was just excited at the thought of it maybe being just like a few years ago. The next day after my boyfriend asked me to do that, the obsession started once again about the exact same guy. This time it started because a random thought popped up in my head: what if he confessed his love to me? (he used to have a crush on me too) Before that happened, I again rarely noticed him, didn’t feel anything for him and I was sure I didn’t like him ever since I got over that fear the first time. The fear started all over again just because of that one random thought. I instantly started questioning myself why I thought that, if I liked the thought and if I still liked that guy. I *promised* my boyfriend I would tell him something like that so I felt the urge to find out what it meant. I started panicking, felt extremely anxious and I‘ve been doing compulsions ever since. Not soon after, I started feeling sensations on my cheeks whenever I got an intrusive thought and it makes me scared, although I don’t always get it. Sometimes even when I’m not anxious I get it. I’m worried. What if it’s actually true I‘m still not over him, after all those years? Or what if this obsession caused this to be true? What makes it also complicated is that sometimes I can tell for sure that I don’t like him anymore but then sometimes I doubt it and I‘m scared it’s true. After some time, I managed to reduce the anxiety, intrusive thoughts and sensations by a lot but it’s still not fully gone. I did that by constantly telling myself it is OCD and not real. Almost everyday I would explain to myself how it is OCD and how the whole current situation doesn’t make any sense logically, compare myself to OCD symptoms etc. I can not say that for sure though because I never actually talked to a therapist. Thank you for reading. It really means a lot <3 I really just wanted to get all of that out of my chest after all this time.

I’m in the thick of dosage adjustments, feeling awful and looking for a glimmer of hope!

okay , so I’m at my aunts house right now and I usually am here a lot I do school here. so every time I’m here and I think about my house it doesn’t feel real ? like I feel like I never been there. and the same for when I go to my house and think about being here ? but when I get here it’s all good and feels normal .. thoughts ?

Any mothers out there struggling with POCD ? Can the thoughts come in forms of terrible “phrases” “outbursts” saying horrible things in the form of words

Is it common to cry a lot because compulsions don’t work anymore and it seems like nothing is going to work to calm the thoughts?

I’m doing this here because I find that it’s easier talking here than to anyone close to me. I take online classes right? I started taking them after I came out of psych last year. It’s not super hard. I get to do most things on my own thing. One thing I’ve struggled lately, and have struggled with most of my life, is math. I HATE math. It’s hard. It makes me feel bad and has made me have awful thoughts. Not only that, but failing math is like… certainty that you have to retake the class and I’m already retaking 11th grade because towards the end of that year I tried something awful, ended up, at the hospital, then psych and not going back to public school after that. I’m not entirely sure if anyone has been through what I’ve been through. I know lots of people hate math like I do, but for me, it’s to the point where I’m scared of it. I don’t want to disappoint my parents. They really want me to go to college and have been even more adamant about it after I came out of the ward. It’s stressful and I’m very stressed right now. If anyone has read this far, thanks. I really appreciate being heard.

Ladies only: Has anyone with OCD had a hysterectomy? Do your symptoms feel any different after.

so i’m straight, but one thing that’s always bothered me was i was never the type to look at a guy and automatically think dirty thoughts about them like some girls do i would think they’re good looking and move on. but lately i have been looking at guys and think ways i never have before because i don’t really care for sex but this time i actually think about it when i find someone attractive and it started to worry me because i was like i never thought that much sexually before so why am i now? and then i get thoughts in my head that say why are you worried aren’t you straight why are you worried to think sexual about guys? and it’s the anxiety about the fact that i actually think dirty thoughts when i see a cute guy and before i never would and then hocd coming in to play making me wonder that i shouldn’t be anxious if i was always straight but it’s not that i get anxious because i never thought that sexually before but ocd makes me think i’m worried about liking a guy but that’s not true sorry if it’s a bit confusing

i’ve done a good job ab not letting thoughts take over, but i’m trying to learn to not have to mentally assure myself of that thought, i just want to think more free, what recommendations are there to kind of rewire myself to not consciously have a thought to push aside and can focus on the task at hand

I have been dealing with pure ocd since October and I have been at a really low spot. I am a male and I have always been straight and only liked women. One time while I was watching porn I felt myself get aroused when the male was pulling down his pants. I got really anxious and was ruminating on what that this means. Does this mean I am gay or bisexual? This went on for a while. One day I wrote down on a piece of paper I just have to accept being gay and the anxiety and the pressure in my head got so much relief and I felt so much better. This feeling lasted for a little bit and then the anxiety picked back up again. I feel like most of the time I am not ruminating on am I gay? I just feel like I am so conscious of being anxious and I want that feeling to go away sometimes. Sometimes this feeling goes away on its own and I do not do anything to make it go away. However once I realize that I am thinking again the anxiety picks back up. It’s like I have a fear of being conscious of thought and I don’t know why that scares me so much. A lot of the times I don’t feel like I am thinking about anything I just feel like my brain is clogged and stuck. When the anxiety gets really bad sometimes I say In my mind I just have to accept being gay and the anxiety goes away. This is confusing because I wasn’t ruminating about being gay, it’s just when I tell myself that the anxiety goes away. This anxiety is almost 24/7 and there is not really a thought that sparks my anxiety it’s like i am just so aware of being anxious. My therapist tells me I have to stop ruminating but once I become conscious of thought I have no idea how to become unconscious of thought if that makes sense and it drives me crazy. Does anyone relate? And does anyone have any suggestions?

I am in constant turmoil -reviewing, over analyzing and repeating my childhood up to teenage years. It’s like my brain is constantly replaying scenes to find every mistake I’ve ever made and I don’t even know what’s true anymore. I have reoccurring thoughts that I’ve harmed s younger sibling and even had convinced myself that I had murdered in uncle who had passed two towns away before I could even drive. I confessed to these things to my mother who assured me these things have never happened and I convince myself for short periods of time that she’s right, but then they come back. The thoughts make me physically Ill thinking about them. My memories feel jumbled and I’m no longer sure of my self and who I am.

Have anyone of you experienced the fear of losing the loved ones ( the fear of losing someone you truly love ) ? If anyone of you has obsessive compulsive disorder OCD and has experienced this fear, could you please explain to me how does it feel like if you don't mind ? Recently i have been only thinking about my mother, while ago i dreamed that my oldest sister died, in the dream i was crying really really hard, i was literally crying my heart out, i felt every single emotion, every single feeling like it was all real happening in my real life for the point that i woke up crying and kept crying for hours, then i dreamed that my oldest brother died, after that dream i dreamed that my middle sister died and i was really sad in the both dreams, then i strated only thinking about my mother's death, not about when she will die or how she will die or where, I don't think about any of these things, i don't ask myself any of these questions because simply they're not like that important to me but i do think about the idea that she will be gone one day, gone forever! And i will never ever see her again, kiss her again, hug her again, laugh with her again, cry on her shoulder again ... That i will never ever see her again, not for only one more time no matter what! Recently i have been only thinking about this, and this intrusive thought keeps telling me that if my mother died, I'll go crazy, I'll go insane, I'll lose my mind, my control, myself and everything! The emotions and the feelings which i feel are too strong, stronger than my ability to stop my mind from overthinking, to stop myself from crying, to stop my body from shaking even my tongue shakes and it scares me in every single time... I know I'm not going crazy but what if i am wrong? What if my mother died and my grief made me crazy? Imagine that I'm truly thinking about dropping off university so i could spend every single moment, every single second with her before her death ! Anyone can relate?

POCD, adults only And the answer to that is pornography. I hate that I have to keep talking about it but I think getting it off my chest would help me a little bit. I'm still trying to get away from p in general and before this relapse I went a week without it. I felt really good but urges overwhelmed me and I found myself disappointed. But what makes me more disappointed is the disgusting suspicious stuff that seems to come up so easily when I do search for videos I want to watch. My searches never have anything to do with the bad stuff that I get and YouTube along with DuckDuckGo seem to always find some heinous shit around every corner. I saw a thumbnail of a video that sexualized a character with a mod who is clearly underaged and I'm just saying to myseld why the actual fuck would you upload that to a public site for people to see. That left me disgusted and straight up mad. I hate that I keep running into stuff like this and it's most likely the cause for my POCD and intrusive thoughts surrounding this matter. I just hate how I could be looking up an attractive adult woman I like only to find the complete opposite: An underaged character that somehow is caught up in the bunch. Like, that shit is gross and I try to avoid that stuff as best as I can but somehow it just seems to crawl out when I don't expect it. It's disgusting. This is mainly why I wanted to quit watching this stuff in the first place and I hope one day I'll just leave it for the rest of my days. I've seen other posts about this happening to people on other sites and in POCD forums and it's really sick. I feel bad for people struggling with this stuff in similar ways than I am. I hope no one else will have to go through it either.

I have ocd rituals everytime I take a shower. Sometimes takes me about 2 hours to get out of bathroom. I have been working with a counselor which says to set a timer for 45 mins and try to finish everything in that time frame and get out. I still find that I am irritated or moody if I don’t complete them I have no idea why. Should I try to cut down on my time in the shower/ bathroom?