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I’m getting urges to make fun of people. I also believe that something bad will happen if I do this. Like a karmic thing.

I’m new to NOCD and was recently diagnosed with having traits of OCD. I’ve yet to start therapy, but I’d like to start to engage with the community and especially with anyone who can relate to what I’m currently experiencing. I’m a spiritually based person and my OCD has latched onto my spirituality, religion and may be making me question my overall reality, etc. This also makes me question whether or not I am experiencing Magical Thinking OCD as well. Can anyone who deals with spirituality, religion and false memory OCD help guide my thoughts and I? I know that we’re not licensed professionals, but I am seeking fellow users who can relate to what I’m currently going through and experiencing because I currently feel alone and like no one else immediately around me can relate. Thanks in advance!

I know it won't help it at all. I don't know what's real and what's me. I feel like I've lost myself bcs of so many themes right now. I think it's causing me to dissociate bcs I get extreme existential thoughts, & images that feel so real that I'm all alone. That is my worst fear to be alone/feel alone with my thoughts bcs I don't even speak up on things that I do want to say or knowing what to say "do I express me feeling awkward or not knowing what to say" or let myself be seen & to be myself even with my family because I feel like no one wants to hear me and what is valuable to me. It feels real but I know my family loves and that they try their best. I'm so broken that I feel this way because I want more than anything to love my family and just be in the present to show them love & receive there love w/o questioning it or the real distress is constantly noticing things that may initiate that. omg me saying that freaks me out bcs why me saying makes it true. Another big obsession with this is if I have psychosis bcs how I think about it all day. I just want to go over to my sister rn and ask her why I feel there is sm distance between us. I just want to feel her love and that she can express herself w/o feeling like she can't or at least to communicate to each other abt this kind of quietness. I had big past event OCD when she wouldn't talk that much to me during the day like my other family members and how easily argumentative we are.

When I was younger I was a very edgy person and I drew a lot of edgy anime art of the adult variety. I am ashamed of what I drew and I removed it all from online. (However some things were reposted and simply can't be taken down which horrify me)However now I find it hard for me to even draw at all at times because every time I see my art style it triggers me. I used to love drawing and I used to use it as a coping mechanism and as a way to escape but now it's just something that I dread and I just don't do anymore. I really miss creating art and creating stories but now I'm so ashamed I feel like I don't deserve my talent. I feel like I'm not worthy enough to be an artist anymore not even for myself. Has anyone else ever felt like this?

usually when i get events that my ocd latches onto. sometimes it could last days. or sometimes it will only last hours. i’ll still idk compulsions. and my mind will still catastrophise the event. and i’ll still feel terrible. and all that stuff. but sometimes these distressing thoughts can last hours to days. does this mean i still have ocd? does this mean ocd is latching onto this? sometimes something could happen and a min later i’ll obsess over it. but sometimes it could only last hours or days. if this isn’t ocd then this means i’m a terrible person. and that makes the fears and stuff real. please someone help

So if as soon as you think of something you get an anxiety feeling in your chest but it’s not an unbearable feeling or feeling of great distress/angst but as soon as I think of that thought I get this anxious feeling in my chest does that mean I don’t like the thought but have gotten use to it so the anxiety isn’t really bad? Like can you get anxiety but but be so use to it that it doesn’t alarm you or come off really strong that you hate the anxious feeling? Because many times throughout the day I have a thought and I get this ‘mild anxious feeling’ but it kinda hits as soon as I ruminate …does that mean I don’t like the thoughts? I have been believing I’m bad and when I tested myself on an intrusive thought (it’s been bothering me a lot it’s about smothering someone😞) it felt so vivid but felt like ‘I liked the feeling of doing that when I imagined it’ I have been obsessing over it thinking I’m actually bad now and have sick desires, but the fact that as soon as I have the thought I get like an instant mild anxiousness in my chest does that mean I am uncomfortable/hate the thoughts but I have gotten use to them so my emotional response isn’t flaring up like it use to? Also why does it feel like I’m desperate to think about these thoughts but at the same time don’t want to think about them I don’t know what to do

Hi, This may just be somewhat related to OCD, but I’d thought I’d ask anyway. Oftentimes, I hear the advise that “we’re more than just our talents”. How true is this, if at all? The reason I ask is that I struggle to see my value as a person besides what I’m good at. Let’s say for argument’s sake that I’m very talented in chemistry. I have substantial evidence to back that up, along with research papers published in top journals and with my own patents to inventions. Here’s where OCD comes to screw everything up… It says “if it weren’t for your talents in chemistry, you’re nothing! A waste of a human life.” Then, this advise comes in and gives temporary comfort. But to me, it’s just reassurance in disguise. How do you guys deal with this? I’m genuinely struggling with this.

It's literally like my mind now associates romance, pleasure and a relationship with a woman. When I've only ever wanted to be with a man. There seems to be so much proof that I'm gay that I somehow didn't realize or ignored. I don't even know if any of it is real even though my main is saying right now that it is. I don't want to be with women. I feel 0 connection for men and I feel like a man right now. At this point, I doubt therapy can help me. Too much damage has been done. I can't can't fully remember what it was like to be straight.

hi do you guys know how to make cleaning less triggering? i invested in Swedish dish cloths but i’m still a bit iffy on how to sanitize them specifically when to and how to store them. i hate living in a mess but at the same time cleaning is very difficult especially the smells and dusty particles not to mention the texture. i’m also a germaphobe in the sense i don’t want the dishcloth use in the bathroom to touch with my kitchen one. i’m trying my best to be hygienic but i want to cry when i can’t properly execute what i had in mind because i don’t have complete control of my environment. it seems like i am the only one that cares about hygiene and not ingesting toxic chemicals. so i am really a fond of minimalist cleaning as it doesn’t seem to be overstimulating. i just don’t know where to start or how to communicate my needs to my boyfriend. i hope i am not being unreasonable i just can’t stand certain smells (i get visibly anxious) and i have sensitive skin.

So if as soon as you think of something you get an anxiety feeling in your chest but it’s not an unbearable feeling or feeling of great distress/ angst but as soon as I think of that thought I get this anxious feeling in my chest does that mean I don’t like the thought but have just gotten use to it so the anxiety isn’t really bad? Like can you get anxiety but be so use to it that it doesn’t alarm you or come off really strong that you hate the anxious feeling? Because many times throughout the day I have a thought and get that ‘mild anxious feeling’ but it just kinda hits as soon as I ruminate…does that mean I don’t like the thought? I have been believing I’m bad and when I tested myself on a intrusive thought (it’s been bothering me a lot it’s about smothering someone with a pillow😞) If felt so vivid but felt like ‘I liked the feeling of doing that) I have been obsessing over it thinking I’m actually bad now and have sick desires, but the fact that as soon as I have the thought I get like an instant,mild anxiousness in my chest does that mean I am uncomfortable/hate the thoughts but have gotten use to them so my emotional response isn’t flaring up like it use to? Because I’m so confused about my feelings I know I’m happier when I’m not thinking about any of this and I feel more normal but because I’m not getting really anxious and feeling feelings of disgust/horrible when I have the thoughts combined with feeling like ‘I liked the feeling of doing that’ when I imagined it, it makes me think I’m genuinely bad? Omg just now when I typed that last bit out ‘I liked the feeling of doing that’ this emoji came up ‘😁’ at the end of it and I got instant anxiety thinking I’m bad because that emoji popped up when I typed that bit out 😭🥲🥲 I don’t understand because I’m such a scaredy cat as well If it’s not intrusive thoughts about others it’s intrusive thoughts that someone will attack me (I get scared in the night, when I’m alone) I just don’t get a break if it’s not about other people it’s about myself or ‘if you don’t take another sip of water before bed, you are actually evil’ this problem is exhausting

They say money can’t buy happiness. Can therapy bring happiness? I’m sure a lot of you would agree that it does, must be nice. I live off of disability due to the severity of my ocd and simply can’t afford the classes you provide. the insurance my family can afford isn’t accepted by you guys… so say it without actually saying it.. I have been declined. I don’t think money or insurance or really ANYTHING should ever be an issue when it comes to something as important as mental health. It takes a lot for many to even open up about these struggles, that’s an obstacle in itself that we don’t need but have. Now we must also worry about money and insurance too? “I’ll get you better, but lemme see your wallet first🤑” I’m losing my mind. Literally. And the best anybody from NOCD can tell me is “good luck finding ERP!” I did find ERP. I just wasn’t allowed in the door.

another thing i frequently experience with suicidal OCD is that whenever i’m doing something that should make me happy, i immediately get hit with this pit in my stomach and thoughts in my head “well don’t be happy, you’re going to commit suicide and you’re putting on a front by being happy”. for example- my dad just showed me a picture of a dog he’s looking at getting for our family. i smiled and said “AWW”, until i was immediately hit with the thoughts and the sinking feeling of “you won’t even be around when they get the dog, don’t feel happy about it. you being happy is putting up a front and lying to them.” these thoughts scare me so much and cause me so much distress, sadness, and anxiety, because they make me even more worried that i may actually be suicidal and it’s an endless circle. does anyone else experience this??

Have you told your family or friends about it? What were their reactions? Did you feel guilty? Did it feel like you were making things up?

Hello. I am extremely that I have ALS. I am 21 years old, but I read that ALS can strike at any age according to the I AM ALS website. I've seen the “Her ALS story” as well. Many women under the age of 35 have been diagnosed with ALS. I have a long history of being a hypochondriac. I will admit that. I have been afraid of having ALS in the past. However, this time, I feel like I have been showing a lot more symptoms than I have before. I have had noticeable fasciculations all over my body for over a week now. My legs feel like jelly due to how much my knees hurt. My left knee looks like it was a little bit atrophied. I went from 130 to 126 pounds in one day. I have so much trouble falling asleep due to my leg cramps. Some people might say that all of this is due to anxiety. However, there is a big voice inside of me telling me that is ALS. I have gone to the doctor so many times with symptoms that I worry about that they will eventually think I am just an attention-seeking hypochondriac. I have been to a neurologist as well but it was way too expensive to move forward with any follow ups. I am terrified. ☹️☹️☹️

My contamination OCD just won't give me any piece. All I think about all day everyday is being contaminated with covid. I'm scared to be around people. I'm scared to touch anything even in my own home, because I share it with my parents and I think they may have touched something when they're out and then bought covid back into the house. I'm hardly sleeping because I can't switch my mind off. I'm spending ages in the shower because I can't seem to feel clean and my hands are sore and red from constantly washing them. It's driving me crazy I feel anxious constantly my heart pounds I feel sick, shaky and have hardly any appetite. Please give me any advice that can help.

A friend of mine asked to go on a little trip with her, with us will come her crush and to not leave me alone she asked him to bring one of his friends, this thing is giving me anxiety because even if it's just for one day and I don't have to go out with this guy, I feel pressured and I feel like I'm in denial, I don't know what to do.

This is a weird think I'm struggling with for almost 10 years now. Before I start: english it's not my first language so I'm sorry if I make mistakes. So, I had glasses when I was 12 years old, now I'm 21. I hated the fact that I couldn't see that shit would terrify me. I started learning about eyes a lot and I got hyperaware of them. I started hyper fixating on them and the muscles that are around the eye. So this weird thing happened to me, I can feel scratching or tightening and squeezing my eyeball with my external muscles or I don't know how I do it but I can feel it, and It's now since I was 12 years old a bad habit or whatever you can call it that it's destroying my life. Why? Because when the eyeball get's longer or more pointed the nearsightedness increases. it's like squeezing it like an egg so it gets taller and you know the shape changes I started doing this with my left eye only so my diopter increased in that eye. I started doing it with that eye and till that day there are days that I still do it and can't stop. I do it with my right eye sometimes too but mostly with my left eye because it's the fear that "what if I won't stop", "what if this eye gets lazy and it strains", "what if I lose it completely since the diopter is constantly increasing in that eye because the eyeball is getting longer".. the more fear I have the more I can't stop. I get obsessive thoughts thoughts about it all the time. I have a complete different themes that i connect with this fixation with my left eye and i keep doing it. Ive had religious OCD. Numbers OCD. Existential OCD but most importantly Somatic OCD. Im not sure what this is or it ever happened to anyone in this world before but i know that it destroyed my life. And i attended suicide when i was 19 because of this. Now im almost 22. I try to live like this. I try to control this all but im tired. I need help. Im not gonna do it past 25 if this continues. It already destroyed all my dreams and life i cant focus on anything anymore. I used to be an excellent student now i dont know what im doing anymore. I even have lost my identity. Idk where to get help. How. Im broke. I live in a third world country. Ive tried telling my family they get weirded out and are like umm u gonna be alright. I lost the first job I had cause I couldn't focus on it but I focused on my obsessive thoughts and my left eye. That's it. I hope a therapist or anyone who can assist me with a doctor or anyone who can help me sees this and texts me. I'm in great distress. I'm stuck. P.S. sorry for my typos. I typed all this crying.

I can't stop thinking about one time that I was with my boyfriend (my current bf) and he got a text from his ex and he deleted so fast and she was also on silence mode, I asked him and he said that he didn't want me to see because he didn't want me to think something bad about it but that the text was meaningless. This happened a long time ago but now I think that he delated the text because he cheated on me with her. Is that a reason to think that? please any advice :(

Hi Friends! Today I have spent some time looking back over the past 3 years since finding NOCD therapy. When I first started ERP, I honestly didn't think recovery was possible, but I was willing to do anything to save my relationship. As I started to gain ground with ERP, I gave myself permission to think about what I would want recovery to look like. Personally, I wanted to get to a place where I didn't feel the need to question my S.O's love for me. I wrote these exact words: "While there are no relationship guarantees, this doesn't mean you shouldn't try or remain in constant fear that it will end. I want to enjoy each day to the best of my ability and not shy away from giving and receiving love. I will sit with the uncomfortable thoughts until they pass" While not perfect, I have seen these goals come to fruition. I would love to hear what you wish recovery would look like for you? Or for those there, what does recovery look like to you?

Today I woke up and was just in bed on my phone feeling okay and then suddenly I get an intrusive thought about smothering one of my family members with a pillow and I get anxiety but also it feels like ‘I like the feeling of doing that, when I imagined it’ I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and It’s started already. I think until I figure out or get an answer as to why it feels like ‘I like the feeling of doing that’ when I imagined it, I don’t think I will be at peace. I feel like no one gets it. It literally feels like I know how it feels to do that like I can feel it with all my senses doing that action, and that I like the feeling of doing that. I get anxiety but it’s not an ‘alarming, danger’ anxiety it’s anxiety that makes it feel like I want to or like the feeling of doing that anxiety. It’s weird because I don’t want to sit there imagining doing that but at the same time it feels like I’m desperate to imagine it and I don’t know if that’s because I’m testing myself or if I’m actually enjoying that sick feeling of ‘liking the feeling of doing that’ I mean I don’t feel particularly happy when thinking of those thought it just feels intense and like an urge but at the same time like I like the feeling of doing that and I don’t know what to do, I wish someone could give me answers as to why it feels like I ‘like the feeling of doing that’ the thought feels so intense and like I know how it feels to squash someone’s face with a pillow and how it feels for them to not breath and it’s horrible. I don’t even get feelings of ‘I hate that, disgust’ anymore I’m just obsessed with this feeling of ‘I like the feeling’ and I don’t want it to be true because I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone and now I’m worried I’ve discovered a sick desire and I’m crazy now