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working to conquer OCD
Have you told your family or friends about it? What were their reactions? Did you feel guilty? Did it feel like you were making things up?
Hello. I am extremely that I have ALS. I am 21 years old, but I read that ALS can strike at any age according to the I AM ALS website. I've seen the “Her ALS story” as well. Many women under the age of 35 have been diagnosed with ALS. I have a long history of being a hypochondriac. I will admit that. I have been afraid of having ALS in the past. However, this time, I feel like I have been showing a lot more symptoms than I have before. I have had noticeable fasciculations all over my body for over a week now. My legs feel like jelly due to how much my knees hurt. My left knee looks like it was a little bit atrophied. I went from 130 to 126 pounds in one day. I have so much trouble falling asleep due to my leg cramps. Some people might say that all of this is due to anxiety. However, there is a big voice inside of me telling me that is ALS. I have gone to the doctor so many times with symptoms that I worry about that they will eventually think I am just an attention-seeking hypochondriac. I have been to a neurologist as well but it was way too expensive to move forward with any follow ups. I am terrified. ☹️☹️☹️
My contamination OCD just won't give me any piece. All I think about all day everyday is being contaminated with covid. I'm scared to be around people. I'm scared to touch anything even in my own home, because I share it with my parents and I think they may have touched something when they're out and then bought covid back into the house. I'm hardly sleeping because I can't switch my mind off. I'm spending ages in the shower because I can't seem to feel clean and my hands are sore and red from constantly washing them. It's driving me crazy I feel anxious constantly my heart pounds I feel sick, shaky and have hardly any appetite. Please give me any advice that can help.
A friend of mine asked to go on a little trip with her, with us will come her crush and to not leave me alone she asked him to bring one of his friends, this thing is giving me anxiety because even if it's just for one day and I don't have to go out with this guy, I feel pressured and I feel like I'm in denial, I don't know what to do.
This is a weird think I'm struggling with for almost 10 years now. Before I start: english it's not my first language so I'm sorry if I make mistakes. So, I had glasses when I was 12 years old, now I'm 21. I hated the fact that I couldn't see that shit would terrify me. I started learning about eyes a lot and I got hyperaware of them. I started hyper fixating on them and the muscles that are around the eye. So this weird thing happened to me, I can feel scratching or tightening and squeezing my eyeball with my external muscles or I don't know how I do it but I can feel it, and It's now since I was 12 years old a bad habit or whatever you can call it that it's destroying my life. Why? Because when the eyeball get's longer or more pointed the nearsightedness increases. it's like squeezing it like an egg so it gets taller and you know the shape changes I started doing this with my left eye only so my diopter increased in that eye. I started doing it with that eye and till that day there are days that I still do it and can't stop. I do it with my right eye sometimes too but mostly with my left eye because it's the fear that "what if I won't stop", "what if this eye gets lazy and it strains", "what if I lose it completely since the diopter is constantly increasing in that eye because the eyeball is getting longer".. the more fear I have the more I can't stop. I get obsessive thoughts thoughts about it all the time. I have a complete different themes that i connect with this fixation with my left eye and i keep doing it. Ive had religious OCD. Numbers OCD. Existential OCD but most importantly Somatic OCD. Im not sure what this is or it ever happened to anyone in this world before but i know that it destroyed my life. And i attended suicide when i was 19 because of this. Now im almost 22. I try to live like this. I try to control this all but im tired. I need help. Im not gonna do it past 25 if this continues. It already destroyed all my dreams and life i cant focus on anything anymore. I used to be an excellent student now i dont know what im doing anymore. I even have lost my identity. Idk where to get help. How. Im broke. I live in a third world country. Ive tried telling my family they get weirded out and are like umm u gonna be alright. I lost the first job I had cause I couldn't focus on it but I focused on my obsessive thoughts and my left eye. That's it. I hope a therapist or anyone who can assist me with a doctor or anyone who can help me sees this and texts me. I'm in great distress. I'm stuck. P.S. sorry for my typos. I typed all this crying.
I can't stop thinking about one time that I was with my boyfriend (my current bf) and he got a text from his ex and he deleted so fast and she was also on silence mode, I asked him and he said that he didn't want me to see because he didn't want me to think something bad about it but that the text was meaningless. This happened a long time ago but now I think that he delated the text because he cheated on me with her. Is that a reason to think that? please any advice :(
Hi Friends! Today I have spent some time looking back over the past 3 years since finding NOCD therapy. When I first started ERP, I honestly didn't think recovery was possible, but I was willing to do anything to save my relationship. As I started to gain ground with ERP, I gave myself permission to think about what I would want recovery to look like. Personally, I wanted to get to a place where I didn't feel the need to question my S.O's love for me. I wrote these exact words: "While there are no relationship guarantees, this doesn't mean you shouldn't try or remain in constant fear that it will end. I want to enjoy each day to the best of my ability and not shy away from giving and receiving love. I will sit with the uncomfortable thoughts until they pass" While not perfect, I have seen these goals come to fruition. I would love to hear what you wish recovery would look like for you? Or for those there, what does recovery look like to you?
Today I woke up and was just in bed on my phone feeling okay and then suddenly I get an intrusive thought about smothering one of my family members with a pillow and I get anxiety but also it feels like ‘I like the feeling of doing that, when I imagined it’ I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and It’s started already. I think until I figure out or get an answer as to why it feels like ‘I like the feeling of doing that’ when I imagined it, I don’t think I will be at peace. I feel like no one gets it. It literally feels like I know how it feels to do that like I can feel it with all my senses doing that action, and that I like the feeling of doing that. I get anxiety but it’s not an ‘alarming, danger’ anxiety it’s anxiety that makes it feel like I want to or like the feeling of doing that anxiety. It’s weird because I don’t want to sit there imagining doing that but at the same time it feels like I’m desperate to imagine it and I don’t know if that’s because I’m testing myself or if I’m actually enjoying that sick feeling of ‘liking the feeling of doing that’ I mean I don’t feel particularly happy when thinking of those thought it just feels intense and like an urge but at the same time like I like the feeling of doing that and I don’t know what to do, I wish someone could give me answers as to why it feels like I ‘like the feeling of doing that’ the thought feels so intense and like I know how it feels to squash someone’s face with a pillow and how it feels for them to not breath and it’s horrible. I don’t even get feelings of ‘I hate that, disgust’ anymore I’m just obsessed with this feeling of ‘I like the feeling’ and I don’t want it to be true because I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone and now I’m worried I’ve discovered a sick desire and I’m crazy now
I’ve seen a lot of people say they realized after coming out that their friend crushes or fixations were actually people they were attracted to and this scares me because I do this now and in the past. I’ll see a girl that I think is really pretty and seems cool and I want to be her friend so badly. I felt this way about one of my best friends growing up too. What if those are actually crushes? How do I know that they’re not, especially when I see all these people who say they didn’t realize?
Someone posted something on twitter about how coercion is r*pe . And it got a lot of likes .My bf has asked me a few times to do something sexual until I gave in. And by a few times maybe like 3 or 4 times . I don’t think there’s ever been a time where he just kept asking and asking and asking and asking . Cause I hear that ppl will ask ask . Maybe like 50 times until someone gives in but my bf has asked more than once for an sexual act before but never that many times . . Now it has me triggered . Cause I don’t think my bf is an r word . And I don’t think coercion is r word but coercion Isn’t a good thing either .
Hey all. I have had OCD practically my whole life, and have been a member of NOCD for two years now. I have struggled with practically every subtype in one way or another, but over the last week or so I have been struggling specifically with somatic OCD for the first time. I have a decent amount of knowledge of ERP but I feel like when it comes to somatic OCD exposures are a little different just considering how automatic somatic OCD is. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to create exposures around somatic OCD (specifically relating to swallowing and hyperawareness of teeth). I have no idea how to go about creating exposures, and my anxiety has been so high because of it.
Just looking for a safe space. The news of Lisa Marie Presley passing away just kinda hit me and OCD hard. I wasn’t even a huge fan or anything I liked her but not like a mega fan or anything. I’ve just been dealing with so many bad emotions and thoughts and fears and this just hit me hard. To see a normal person I’ve heard about for years pass away so quickly and suddenly is just difficult. I’ve heard so many awful things about the vaccine causing this stuff and it really scares me. I am vaccinated with just the normal shots no boosters and still feel fine but I can’t not be terrified still. I’m just so scared and lost and confused lately. Thanks to whoever took the time to read this. Leave any comments or advice you might have if you want please.
So I’ve been taking Zoloft (Sertraline) 50mgs for about two weeks and at first it felt like I was being relieved but I feel like the OCD is breaking through. I feel like it’s not working I still feel very on edge and I still have these thoughts that just consume my energy I don’t know what to do. I feel hopeless, anyone else on Zoloft have you had this problem? Any tips or help? Thanks
So I’ve been having thoughts about suffocating someone with a pillow, ugh I hate even writing that but I kept having this feeling where it felt like I liked the feeling of doing that when I imagined it, today I was downstairs and I had the thought about my cat but I didn’t get that feeling of ‘I like the feeling of doing that’ and I started thinking ‘yeah I’m just being tricked this is all a lie’ I went to see my mum in another room and I had a intrusive thought about the pillow thing about her and suddenly I felt like I had to have the thoughts, like I had to keep imagining it and that I liked the feeling of doing that and it’s really horrible, I started venting to her about it and crying but now I just don’t know what to think. Unless it some how comes to me strongly that I don’t like the feeling of doing that I’m just going to constantly be thinking it’s true? It feels like everyday I’m choosing not to be bad and when the thoughts feel like ‘I like the feeling of doing that’ it feels really real and I believe that I’m bad so much that I don’t even know why I’m not being bad. I don’t understand my feelings anymore, when I’m not having the thoughts I feel a lot better and happier but when I have the thoughts I don’t get any strong disgust feelings or like I hate it (I use to) now it just feels like I like the feeling of doing that and want to and it’s really scary how vivid it is. I think the anxiety I get in my chest makes the thought feel like I like the feeling of doing that or it’s an intense feeling that feels like an urge. I remember before when I use to get that intense anxious feeling over an intrusive thought it use to feel like an ‘unwanted urge’ and I use to quickly get out the room from how real it felt and I was scared but I deliberately imagined the thought to test myself and now instead of unwanted urge it feels like ‘I like the feeling of smothering someone’ and it’s really confusing because it’s feels like that but at the same time I know I don’t want to do that but it’s just horrible I don’t know what to do, also when I imagine it, it’s like my breathing stops because it’s an intense thought I guess and I hold my breath and it makes the ‘suffocation thought’ feel even more real like I know how it feels to do that and I don’t understand why it feels like I like it and it’s awful, I don’t want to like the feeling of doing something so awful, sometimes I have the thoughts and I have this head reflex thing where as soon as I have the thought I shake my head like ‘no’ or ‘ugh what is that horrible thought’ but other times the thought feels really real and intense but this feeling of ‘liking the feeling’ is really messing me up like I don’t know what to make of it, say if I’m actually enjoying a sick feeling , that’s what it feels like and I don’t know what to do, everyday I’m choosing not to dwell on the thought because of what a terrible depressed state it gets me in but it feels like I’m just ignoring the fact I have everlasting desires, I just want to live a normal life. Before I had this feeling of ‘I like the feeling’ I could just say to myself ‘it’s just intrusive thoughts ignore it’ but now that there is this confusing messed up feeling attached to it I don’t know what to do. Also when I have one intrusive thought there is like a feeling attached to it if anxiety that makes it feel like I know what it feels like to do that and that I like it and that makes my brain desperate to replay the thought to see if that feeling is true but now I’m worried say if it’s not because I’m trying to test myself say if it’s because I’m actually enjoying imagining how it feels to do that and that feeling of ‘I like the feeling is true’ I keep going on about this on here but I’m honestly at a loss, I don’t think anyone on here has experienced this same feeling, like it genuinely feels like through imagining doing that I know what it feels like and that I liked the feeling of doing that and my head is constantly worrying ‘say if it feels like a relief to do that’ ‘say you like the feeling of doing that because your frustrated… it feels like no one else can relate to this and I’m just worried, I was fine before but say if I’ve understood something I shouldn’t have and now I like the feeling and want to be evil I’m really at a loss and don’t know what to do. I’m a 19 year old girl, I don’t have any friends, I left school early due to social anxiety and I’ve never got to experience romance and now it feels like everything is gone because now I have some sick desire that will eventually screw my life up if I try to live normally. I spent so many years not doing anything with my life because I had crippling social anxiety, I couldn’t even go out and if I did I would have to wear a face mask because I felt anxious if people looked at me, after so many years spending my youth indoors not having fun with friends and I kept hoping some how I would come out of my social anxiety and in the end I watch a crappy documentary and end up like this, this year has been the worst year of my life, the only seemingly good thing that came out of this is I was forced to come out of my social anxiety because I was too scared too be at home so I was forced to go out with my mum to work and I hated coming home. I love helping people, I love making people food, looking after people, giving people advice and comforting them when they have problems, but now it feels like I’m living a double life and have sick desires and it’s awful. Surely there must be hope for me please 😞 when I have the thought I don’t get a strong feeling of disgust or guilt or anything anymore it jsut feel like I like the feeling and its so scary and intense and real feeling
When I get an intrusive I will google for hours to try to see if I’m not crazy. Like has anyone else been through this before, is this normal with OCD, what does this intrusive thought mean, etc. I will even ask my boyfriend if I’m a bad person or something like that to feel better. I NEED reassurance or I feel like I’m losing it. I constantly need something or someone to tell me I’m okay or nothing is wrong and I’m normal. Is this a compulsion or am I just weird.
Hi so I'm at a point in my life where I feel no anxiety or no anxiety, I guess I still worry and obsess about my Hocd otherwise why would I be typing this? But because I don't get panic attacks, my brain and my feelings keep telling me that I want to have these thoughts and want to date guys, and weirdly enough, I get groinal responses, I feel like I'm more attracted to guys, I'm looking back into my past to ask myself was I just attracted to men all along, never had fantasies or sexual thoughts about them but I'm confused. And now it feels like I'm at a point where I don't care. like if I were in denial and gay, I would be ok with it, BUT I DONT WANT TO BE THOUGH. I know I'm sexually attracted to girls however I get anxious from fantasizing now. I feel no relief or motivation even right after I just got diagnosed with OCD which should be a good thing! Idk but I feel like I would be interested in dating guys now and I don't want that even though it feels like I want and im lying to myself.
Heart palpitations have an all new meaning since I’ve been fearing cardiac arrests. Cardiac arrest consists of irregular off rhythm heart beats and every time i experience heart palpitations it immediately reminds me of that and i start freaking. And i know heart palpitations are a normal symptom of anxiety and it says that females in there 20s may experience heart palpitations and that its normal. However they have an all new meaning to me now and im scared that im just going to go unconscious or something 😭
I had a crappy experience with my psychiatrist today I went in with hope of (somewhat getting some assurance) but mainly feeling better. But I came out feeling worse He ‘diagnosed’ me with pure o ocd last time I saw him. I was so happy for a few days. Then I started doubting it. Today, he never mentioned I had ocd. Just the word’s ‘anxiety disorder’, ‘PTSD’ and ‘depression’ I kept trying to make ocd the main subject of the session but he kept changing it. So now I feel even more disbelief about having ocd. This might sound stupid. But tomorrow is a day I’ve been waiting for a long time. I big meet up with my friends and getting a new piercing all together. But I know I will have LOADS of false attractions, groinals etc. I just feel so crappy. And what with a big exam I have tomorrow, I’m overwhelmed
Yesterday I was watching a show and I thought the boy was cute and just randomly texted my cousins cuz we were watching the same show. I’m 23, & at first glance I barely paid attention but I thought he was at least 21, but my cousins replied with “he looks 18 you pervert” or “it’s looking bad for you”. I started freaking out immediately checked to his face properly again and he did look younger, & I felt so disgusted with myself. I felt terrible, instantly regretted everything & didn’t know what to do. I’ve been anxious since last night barely been able to sleep cuz I just complimented someone who is younger than me. My mind is now like ruminating that I’m a pedophile or pervert for thinking that. I hate this because I honestly wasn’t thinking of it in that type of sense like I would date him or something, I was not aware. I would’ve forgot about that moment after. I needed to get it off my chest cuz I have been feeling exhausted & terrible.
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OCD doesn't have to
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