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My psychiatrist just called my intrusive thoughts ‘fantasies’…

Yesterday was the hardest session I have ever had with NOCD. Some of my compulsions include seeking assurance from others and assuring myself. So I’ve been working on getting better at not giving into those. Yesterday I was doing ERP with my therapist, and a response prevention message I told myself was that “God has my life in His hands, and I can sit with this uncertainty.” My therapist told me to be careful with how I use that statement. And I have never felt more misunderstood. I was hurt after this because as a Christian, God is my only true form of assurance. Yesterday I felt like I wasn’t allowed to run to God when I felt anxious and afraid, but that is communicated SO many times in the Bible. I spiraled yesterday, questioning my faith and just panicking. My takeaway from yesterday was that my assurance from God is not the same assurance that my broken mind tells me I need. I can ALWAYS run to the Lord when I’m anxious. I’m still so confused when seeking assurance is “okay”. I’m confused how to do ERP, but still be able to ground myself in my faith in God. I am trying to sit with this uncertainty today because that’s what I’ve been taught. I don’t need to know exactly why God allowed OCD into my life, and I don’t need to know how to navigate it perfectly yet. It is SO HARD to know when assurance seeking is a compulsion and when I just need the divine, sovereign assurance of my Father in heaven who cares for me and will never leave me. Praying for all who are asking where God is in the midst of OCD, You are loved. He is always with you. <3

Hello again, folks. I hope you're having a happy New Year so far! I'm still stuck in a loop and I am afraid to break it. My anxiety theme is being the one to contaminate things and spread germs/bacteria, especially from the bathroom. It's probably rooted in responsibility/moral scrupulosity. (Heck I even feel guilty posting here because I haven't been diagnosed and am just ASSUMING that I'm falling into this particular mental illness hole. I also want to help others but I don't know how...) (Possible TMI ahead. Tagging as a TW to be safe) I do not know how I am going to ever get out of this, because doing "exposures" such as not wiping down the soap pump or taps if any dirty part of my hands touches it before someone else can use it, or if my shirt brushes waste areas and I don't change it, or not washing if my arm touches the inside of my leg where the "dirtier" part of my underwear touch when I dress/undress for the washroom visits... well, to me that seems like deliberately spreading germs to others when I have no right to do that. I understand that the world isn't completely sanitary. I realize that human bodies aren't ever sterile. The issue I am having is that my AWARENESS of the things that I do feels like I would be doing harm/making things even more unclean/potentially dangerous for other people. I cannot take that guilt. YES, the risk of illness is small. YES there are some VERY unhygenic folks out there. YES there are always bacteria, and few of them are actually pathogenic. NO, this is not a worry most people have. HOWEVER.... I cannot tell what is excessive washing anymore. It all seems "logical" and "appropriate" to me, and if I try not to do it, it feels like I am only not doing it because I'm just selfish or irresponsible. Or doing harm on purpose just for the sake of my own convenience. Sure, some of my "old" habits could legitimately undergo improvement, but I just... want this out of my head. I want to go back on autopilot and not overthink something so simple and mundane as a trip to the washroom. Or even a shower. I don't want to have anxiety if I feel the urge to void. How is it that getting clean can involve so much getting dirty?

Thanks but no thanks, OCD. What does OCD latch onto for you?

I have recently come out as bisexual and I am married and have a child. I have been constantly measuring how I feel around my husband and others the same sex as me. Distressing thoughts of should I be with a woman instead? I go in and out of these stressful periods. For a few months I am content and happy and then an intrusive thought about being attracted to women can send me into a spiral for a few weeks. I also analyze past relationships and feelings of attraction I've had to men and women in the past. Does anyone experience anything similar to this? What are some things that have helped you in the past? I am in therapy and on ocd meds. Thank you in advance!

My younger brother (21) is intensely germaphobic (hand washing, wearing gloves to touch anything, making as little bodily contact as possible with surfaces), and it’s affecting his sleep and daily life as a whole. I need advice as the older brother (27) on how to help him through this. Please.

In 2023, I plan to put myself and my mental health first! Who's with me? ?? If you have been thinking about starting ERP therapy, this is a perfect time! When I was in the depths of intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions, I never thought my life could get better. And now here I am getting to speak with all of you about recovering from this awfully difficult condition. There is much opportunity if you can give ERP a try. If you've been thinking about getting started but have felt hesistant - please share your hesitancies here! I know I had many myself.

Struggling with OCD, I often find myself being my own worst critic: "I gave into that compulsion" or "I ruminated over this intrusive thought." It's easy to bring ourselves down, but we are all doing our best to fight back against the OCD and we deserve self-care! Personally, I love to pamper myself with a face mask and relaxing music. What about you? How can you be kind and compassionate to yourself today?

Does anyone have any tips on harm ocd? How to deal with it and how to stop thinking about it on purpose? Anything helps

For sperm ocd for me it invokes the fear of getting pregnant but you know how ocd is what you value and ect I can’t figure out how this theme is a value or why it’s like and ocd theme for me?

I’ve been with my bf for 8 months and really love him. Recently though my ROCD has been insane. I can’t stop thinking about breaking up with him and have this feeling that he isn’t the one for me. But when I’m with him the feeling subsides and I feel happy most of the time (no relationship is perfect). I’ve had moments of such intense dread and anxiety from this I just want to blurt out and say I want to break up when I don’t even. It’s almost like I feel there will be huge sense of relief once I do..it’s the worst at night. But then I think about not having him in my life and it feels even more dreadful . And even if I am having some real doubts that aren’t anxiety it is not at all close to the point of a break up convo. Does anyone have any good exercises or suggestions to make this stop?

Hi all, I am looking for suggestions, tips, and experiences with what works in terms of graded exposure for relationship OCD. I've suffered with OCD for I think around two years now (prior to this I had anxiety but not OCD, this was triggered by surgery and long years of being unwell and other things happening in life), but it went undiagnosed until around 9-12 months ago. This is when the theme of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts turned from my health to my relationship with my partner and to a certain extent others around me as well. Even though we've been together happily married for 10 years, having to rely on someone to help you when you are so sick, combined with covid and lockdowns, and death and illness in the family was a perfect storm of triggers for me. Even so, I have improved quite a lot because I was also diagnosed with severe depression around the same time, and that and my anxiety levels have improved. A lot of this is no doubt that I was doing a PhD while all of this was going on and have begun to heal from too. But I also think I managed to improve using a mindfulness approach to triggers (accepting but not engaging as much as possible). But I do believe that to improve further I need to begin some graded exposure therapy with my psychologist. The trouble I have, is, I get very confused about my triggers, although there are some definite themes I do not know how to write these down to begin a graded exposure, because they are thoughts I have, a line in a movie I watch, something my partner says etc. But I'm to the point now where these triggers are not so strong all of the time and it almost feels like a "mood" when I'm more susceptible to the trigger. Other days those things don't trigger but something else might. It feels like the less thought I give them, the better I get so starting this therapy feels counter intuitive to me. Is anyone willing to share examples of the kinds of triggers they started with? Or help as to how to start? Any help or advice would be appreciated.

… su*cidal, is it betraying their trust if you talk to someone about what they’ve been going through because you want to get advice from them on what to do. One of my friends has been saying he’s wanting to die. He’s not actually going to do it as he’s clarified but I just panicked so much these past few days and my mind kept waiting for the worst news. And my ocd has been affecting me a whole lot more than it has recently. Is it betraying a friend if I only talked to one of my other close friends who I trust with this info because I’m trying to help my friend and also I was spiraling in sadness as well…?

I don’t want to offend or trigger anyone! I just feel like I need talk about this. if anyone relates to this let me know!! At this point I don’t have a lot of anxiety about my sexuality anymore and it’s kinda scaring me. i really doubt i am a lesbian because i absolutely love my boyfriend, and i don’t find any relativity in the label lesbian. like it’s hard to explain, but i just get a feeling around each label. i feel like i am straight, but like some kind of fluidity. but i feel like bisexuality is so open and fluid that i like could possibly be? i have no idea. i also don’t know if my OCD is making it so i believe that i’m bisexual even though i’ve never questioned it before?? I don’t think i would mind being bisexual, but it’s still a little weird to me. but even then i could not see myself dating women lol. i love men. so maybe i’m bisexual but with a big preference to men? I really find comfort in the fact and idea that i love men and are drawn to men. i am however VERY uncomfortable with the idea of being with a woman. i mean even if my friends who are girls try to hold my hands i get uncomfy and grossed out lol. I DON’T KNOWWWW

Trying to deal with coming out or not because I don’t know if it’s real. My anxiety tells me I am. It feels like my gut is trying to tell me yes you are. I’ve had small bouts of questioning for the past 10 years, but was always primarily attracted to men. Over the last 2 years though my attraction to women has surfaced more than it ever has. It’s really annoying. I have no problem with homosexuality - I just don’t want to be gay. I really don’t. I’m trying to ask myself why but it’s really hard to answer and I’m afraid to answer it. I think it would disappoint my father but he would still love me. But I also just don’t want to be different. I just really want to be heterosexual and sure of it. It’s really annoying ugh.

I have been feeling like I can’t breathe since the middle of the day because my brain started saying I don’t know my authentic self and if I don’t know my authentic self then maybe I’m gay. I come from a religious home and don’t know anyone else who experience this and that’s why my brain keeps saying maybe it’s not ocd

i see a lot of the discussion around ROCD being about intrusive thoughts about being attracted to others, and being afraid that you are i loyal to your partner. I definitely feel that brunt of it but way more i feel the opposite end of it, I have horrible vivid images of my boyfriend just happening to see an attractive girl and in his mind even for a second, being attracted to her. it hurts so bad and i don’t get how people are able to exist in relationships knowing their partners find others attractive. and then i feel just such a huge amount of guilt for being so insecure. there’s also thoughts about past e experiences with him that come up as a way of trying to defend or validate my anxieties despite him being a great match for me overall. over the summer i accidentally stumbled upon a girls photo in a bikini who goes to our school and his name was under it saying he liked it. i seriously cannot even describe the nausea and utter disgust and disappointment i felt and still continue to feel from it. i have cried about it to him several times looking for an answer why and he can’t give it to me. it’s just debilitating. i’ll be doing anything and a vivid image and flashback to seeing it overcomes me or a vivid image of seeing him look at a hypothetical attractive girl in my mind comes up and i just want to break it off just to get rid of that hurt. i could go on about this because it hurts so so so bad to think about again and again. and i can’t bring it up to him anymore. i feel utterly alone.

So, how do you tell the difference between groinal responses and actual sexual arousal? Is what I experience arousal or a normal groinal response when I see or visualize teenagers or otherwise (yes, I know)? P.S. Please don't hide this post. 😅

I have struggled for two years and the whole time I thought i was insane and no one else could ever understand but recently i was told how common this is can someone please tell me some of the things you do because of ocd to help me hopefully not feel as insane I’m just tired of feeling alone in this.

I’m talking to someone and I really like him so far even though we just started talking but now I’m worried about what if it all goes well and I don’t deserve to be with anyone or I don’t deserve to be loved because of my past and the stupid things I did as a teenager. I know this probably sounds dumb but I feel like I don’t deserve to be with anyone because if they knew how dumb I used to be they would never want to talk to me or be with me (not necessarily be with me yet we just started talking but you know what I mean)…I’m just sad now 💔