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going through a breakup and my intrusive thoughts are having a field day. making me feel like everything is my fault when that wasn’t the case at all. im struggling so much.

I wish I hadn’t have deliberately imagined the the thoughts to test myself. It feels like I’ve confused myself and now there’s no answers. I think while testing myself with these thoughts to see how I would react, I was hoping I would have a strong negative reaction to them with bad anxiety, which did happen but somehow I’ve confused myself into thinking the anxiety made the thought feel like an urge and my body went into fight or flight mode and now I’m thinking that reaction was me liking the feeling of doing that horrible thing in my thought. Now every time I have an intrusive thought and I get anxiety, I no longer feel like it’s anxiety and instead think it’s me desperate to do that because I l understood what it feels like and now I want to do that. Before i deliberately imagined the thoughts and got myself in this mess I would just brush all thoughts off as intrusive and felt okay but now I’ve got myself in this tangled mess of no answers, and it’s more scary than ever because I’m mistaking my own feelings. I feel so sick to the core that I’ve started believing that I like the feeling of doing that and this has all happened because of experimenting with the thoughts in my mind. I’m worried what if I’ve understood something I shouldn’t have and now I want to carry those evil things out but I’m not bad at the same time or the main thing that worries me. When it feels like an urge it feels like that’s about to happen and I keep thinking what if I’m desperate to do that and I’m the future I give in and it’s horrible, how did my life become like this.out of all the intrusive thoughts I’ve ever had this is the worst thing, I was saying it out loud to my dad for the first time yesterday ‘I imagined doing that to test myself and now It feels like I like the feeling of doing that’ and it just sounded so strange like what am I even saying what am I voicing out, what the hell is going on, how did my life get like this, I definitely must be confusing my feelings, I mean is that a thing? Can you have false feelings or can you confuse your feelings and feel like you like imagining something. I know that I don’t want to do that I hate it it’s disgusting but my anxiety and feelings are making me feel like I like imaging doing that and when I get an urge with an intrusive thought it feels like I would like the feeling of doing that, how can I like the feeling of doing something I have never done and that I am crying everyday about and is making me feel so terrible, I’m so confused, I mean people on here say ‘ocd tries to convince me I like the thoughts’ but idk if mine is ocd or me, because it feels like my feelings are making me convinced or that, what if it’s true? I feel so terrible. This problem all started because of this horrible documentary I watched but the man who done the evil things was living a normal life he was married and had kids and suddenly killed them and then I started worrying because why was he living a normal life then did that. I use to think the normal things I do mean that I’m not bad but now I’m thinking what if living a normal life you can still be bad 😞😞😞😞

learning about ocd and specifically pure o has made me think that maybe, just maybe, i’m not crazy

does anyone else have the urge to resend or repost something when you mess up? like if i’m replying to a comment on instagram and accidentally spell something wrong i delete it and re-comment it bc i messed up but since 2 isn’t one of my ritual numbers right now i have to have it be 3 bc it just feels right, so i delete the 2’nd comment and comment a 3’rd. i hate doing that bc i feel like the other person already got 2 notifications and now 3 but i can’t just not do it. i need help to get over this ritual. i feel like something bad will happen if i don’t do it.

Does anyone else struggle with schizophrenia ocd?

I hate this and I hate me. I have real event ocd where I did really bad stuff in my relationship while I was manic. I know I hurt my husband. And he tells me to let it go that he forgives me. But I still dwell on the past. I can’t get over the thoughts I was having…. Now I have this memory that I might have done something bad to my daughter. I have images and these images and “memories” are attached to a real event so it’s so damn hard trying to find the truth. I’m so tired. I feel uneasy all the time. It didn’t feel real at first it was just an image and now it’s a whole damn movie…how?!? I hate this so much… I feel so immoral and disgusting.

Hi everyone. This is my second post here, I think there’s a part of me that is just desperately seeking reassurance for probably the millionth time. I have terrible health anxiety and OCD. I am always hyper focused on my health, mainly my heart, and have constant intrusive thoughts about my own death, that most of the time come with terrible images of my dead body or my family in mourning. I am recently starting to struggling with looking toward the future. I am supposed to be getting married in May of 2023, and am making myself sick with worry as my intrusive thoughts are telling me I am going to die sometime between now and then, and will not live to see my wedding. I am terrified day in and day out that any day is going to be my last, and my intrusive thoughts aren’t helping in the slightest. They, if anything, bring me a sense of confirmation. They feel so true and so real. I have convinced myself that I am sensing my own death before it happens. I have been checked by a dozen doctors and other than having mental health issues and a brain condition called Chiari malformation, they all tell me I am healthy! I am so scared. I am worried that I’m going to feel like this forever. Has anyone ever dealt with this and come out on the other side? I don’t know how to beat this, but I want to be able to live my life without the fear that at 24 years old, my life is about to come to an end. Thank you all in advance.

hello !! usually i dissapear for like three months and come back, but i’m gonna try to stay active lol :) i’m ingrid, and i had SEVEREEE sexual orientation for two years, and it’s been a year or so of post-recovery !! i used exposure and response therapy, so if anyone would like to ask anything i would LOVE to answer !

I can’t do this anymore I’m done fighting

The ROCD advice in a recent video was to decide what you want and do it - without determining what is right or wrong. This was helpful but then I started thinking how I want to do both options so ended up being triggered thinking how if I don’t know what I want how could I have made any correct choices. I want to leave and I want to stay. What if you are married and falling back into the worst of ROCD? Obviously it’s not an easy decision with that much commitment. Last night I told my partner that if I could just let myself I could be happy, almost if I could turn off a part of my brain. However it’s like I’m triggered by some annoyance or other multiple times a day. And it’s getting really intense in my head. I question everything including my decision to marry. I’m scared and exhausted and only a few months into marriage. Has anyone overcome ROCD in marriage? Or even broken up and has experience? I’m trying to avoid reassurance/checking but I don’t how to not feel so alone and awful of a person.

Has anyone experienced rocd in relation to the intelligence of their partner? I am very frustrated as I feel like I’m watching my partner’s every move and when they do or say something that isn’t intelligent my anxiety and fear grows stronger and tells me that I should break up with them and I can’t handle it. I pay such close attention and feel like I’m waiting for my partner to do or say something wrong. For instance we were at a Christmas event the other day and he didn’t know what a “spiked” drink meant and my brain took it as how could you not know what that means, you are 34 years old. And while watching a football game he didn’t realize they cover the field due to snow and he has watched and played football his whole life. Anytime things happen like this I get so triggered and feel like there is no way I can be with a person that isn’t “intelligent” . Please help. He is super sweet and amazing and is reading books on OCD to try to help me and he knows that I am struggling though this. I have been told I’m smarter than him by others and now I’m so stuck on that comment and his intelligence. Anyone else experience this ?

Has anyone ever had a misdiagnosis interact with their OCD? I currently have an official diagnosis of schizophrenia, which I’ve had since 2007. My current doctor thinks I may only have mild autism or OCD. I have done my research and I’m pretty sure I have both of these… in fact it is only the schizophrenia that I’m unsure of. I am delusional for sure but I do not hallucinate technically. All this has got me thinking that for all these years I’ve been diagnosed was it just the diagnosis feeding the health OCD? Any stories relating to anything about this would be a great help.

I believe I don’t love him anymore… That I am lying to him… using him… I believe I actually wanna break up… 😢 Watching law and order.. I know it’s a show but I can see how you can convince yourself of anything… I am scared what if I convinced myself I don’t love him… I don’t love anyone right now.. I don’t feel numb… I love my family but not that much.. I don’t wanna break up with my partner 😭😭😭💔

18+ I don't really share this with much people but when I do they're usually understand, but don't know what its like. I'm glad they don't. I don't want any of them to struggle with what I go through, that being porn. This makes 10 years that this has been a problem for me. Porn is the only thing that keeps my POCD afloat because I'm constantly questioning the age of people involved. Whenever I'm aroused and I unexpectedly see the visual of someone I know is a lot younger than me it just messes me up everytime. I then ruminate about all the possible instances where this has happened and when this has definitely happened when I was very young. This has never been a good thing for me. Porn is what's causing my low self confidence and my low self esteem. It's what makes me shameful and guilty of myself. Porn is what keeps me in my intrusive thoughts and stuck in my head. Porn is what holds me back from being worry free and overall happy. Porn was a big contributor in how horrible high school went for me. What makes it worse is that there's triggers everywhere and the people around me don't seem to really see the triggers and negatives that I do, which is why I don't share it outside my support group and this app. The amount of guilt and shame that is felt whenever I get trapped into this again is immeasurable. Just don't know what to do right now

Im 21 now. I’ve showed signs of ocd as early as 5 years old. From Obsessively fearing touching things cuz of germs, washing my hands till I got rashes, to crying obsessively every night to my mother because I the same bad words or bad things keep repeating in my head, to fearing I was going to go to hell, and so much more my mother just told me to pray it away or that I was crazy :) I was convinced all my life that I was a psycho evil person all my life to the point where I wanted to end my life multiple times. My ocd worsened to harm, relationship, POCD, somatic, and just about everything you could imagine. I wish my mother would have taken this seriously because all of my childhood was violently miserable until I sought out help at 20 years old.

Absolutely nothing. My HOCD and real events OCD is rampant and just triggering… I have no one who cares or just blocks me. I’m done.

Dear Brothers and Sisters, how are you? Let's put anxiety aside, how are you? Let's make believe ocd isn't affecting your lives right now, how are you? I once heard someone say that intrusive thoughts didn't have physical arms to stop you from doing things, tha k God that's true. We can't let anxiety and ocd stop us from doing what we want. This is hard to do yes, and some of this might sound tough but let's be real how many times have we used the excuse of ocd and anxiety to justify not doing something or avoiding people? Ocd can be crippling some days, but I'm not talking about those moments, I'm talking about the days when we are fine but we just decide to use our behaviors to get in the way of love, of charity. We know the game ocd plays, we know how to not play that game then why aren't we doing it? Let's shake off our comfort my beloved, let's lean on our Lord Jesus to help us shake our fears and face them in therapy, let's ask our Father in Heaven to give us the graces we need to fight ocd and to live to the fullest as He wants us to. We are loved by Love Himself.

It's my 28 birthday and my intrusions have been getting the worst of me today. I feel like I'm losing my mind and for what, another year around the globe losing my mind? Today was supposed to be a good day and I can't help but fester on my intrusive thoughts. I honestly hate life right now and it feels like I was born just to feel this pain that won't go away. I'm sorry is so depressing of a post I just need to let it out.

i have never had actual sex before. but my period is late and i’m scared i’m pregnant. i feel like my period is trying to start but i’m so stressed that i’m pregnant that it won’t.

The three of the NOCD therapists who've license in India don't have a schedule. What am I supposed to do?