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I'm hating my life and the fact that I'm always unconfortable in my parents' house. I hate the fact that I am not normal like anybody else. I just want to live in peace.

Whatever it is that we are unwilling to tolerate uncertainty about, that's likely what OCD will latch onto. Remember that the content of OCD thoughts say nothing about your character other than what it is that you love most. ⁠What are some things that OCD has latched onto in your experience?⁠

I haven’t google disease’s in a while… but today my oh my I’ve spend the last few hours googling & googling. It just sucks being so paranoid all the time. I wish I was normal. I miss who I use to be. I never use to worry & I just lived my life. Now I pay attention to every little detail & have to replay every single thing in my head… Even if I have a ok day with low anxiety my brain feels like it’s forgetting something & will scan my whole day to find something to be paranoid about. I’m sooo tired of this.

Can an OCD thought like "this time something must have happened" arise while totally drunk? I remember having that thought while drunk and since then I am totally in panic mode

Nsfw. But it’s bothering me a lot. I believe I had/have an addiction to p word. I tried to stop watching it because my thoughts about hocd would be worse when watching it. So I stopped for like a week and I had the urge to use it on a good day and I didn’t because I was scared of the hocd thoughts I’d get. Someone said that’s avoidance and a compulsion. So next time I had the urge I watched it. Now I think I’m back into the addiction. But like I feared. When watching it the thoughts are so prominent. And I doubt the attraction afterwards and over analyse what I did. Im scared I focused on the female not the male. Im really scared now. Not sure what to do. I tried the ‘maybe, maybe not’ and the uncertainty but it’s made me feel worse and more thoughts are coming I’m really scared…

I've been pretty bad about the relationship ocd, I know the fears of those who are going through it, and I still have my difficult moments, but now I want to advise those who are going through it! It's simple things I did, but that helped me a lot! 1- Talk to your partner. This is very important, even if you are not very intimate, it is necessary for the other to know that your behavior has a reason! Gradually explain your fears, and what ROCD is, at first it may be difficult for your partner to understand, but this is for the best of both parties. 2- Face your fears! It was one of the hardest things to do! But do you know everything that causes you anxiety? And what makes you create imaginary scenarios? I was afraid to talk to people and listen to music that gave me thoughts! Everything that you avoid, try to start doing, of course, little by little! 3- Compulsions. If your head says you need to do it one more time to be sure, be strong! And don't! Show your brain that you are in control! And try to do the things you avoid even having the thoughts! You need to be really strong to deal with anxiety, and it will feel really bad at first, but try it for yourself! 4- You don't need to confession. You don't have to tell your partner all your thoughts for this to give you temporary relief. Learn to separate what is really important, only tell if you really do something very wrong and that harms your partner. 5- Be kind to yourself. Learn that we all make mistakes, you don't have to condemn yourself for it! But don't think that just because it's okay to fail that you shouldn't try to improve. 6- You are in control of your actions. Things don't happen magically, there are mistakes that can be avoided, you just need to be aware, always think if it were the other way around, if it were your partner doing what you are thinking of doing, such as giving intimacy to other people, flirting with others people and make jokes about. This is not cool, take responsibility for your actions, because your partner is not obliged to forgive you. 7- Feel butterflies... Understand that it's normal not to feel totally attracted or in love with your partner all the time, and that's completely normal. There are times we feel more in love, there are times we miss our partner so much, and there are times we don't, and that's okay! That's it, I'll be answering comments if you have any questions, I'll try to help! Good luck 💗

TW: taking human rights away, people misunderstanding your OCD - - Note: this wasn’t anyone at NOCD It was very hard and I’m worried that they’ll do something like lock me away just in case my thoughts are real or something like that. They did reassure me that they’ve heard thoughts like that from people before and they made it clear they understood what OCD and intrusive thoughts are… but they also ‘had to’ (their words) ask if I have ever acted on my thoughts etc (which I of course said no) but it still triggered me to feel doubt and like maybe I was lying to them. And also, since I’ve got to this stage of telling professionals, I feel a diagnosis may come soon and I’m worried about what if I’m not actually OCD. If I’m not I don’t know what I’d do (do as in figuratively, I’m not saying I might do something)… Can the intrusive thoughts still be not real if they’re not OCD? Also though, I told them about my mental compulsions but after they still asked if I do anything like have a physical routine I have to do (no) which makes me worried maybe they’re not familiar with mental compulsions being a thing.

Friday I had a panic attack after a really stressful event and was unable to sleep. I got maybe 2 hours, if that. Saturday I had another stressful day and was unable to sleep. I was anxious about it all day long and then night came. Didn’t touch my phone. Ate something. Took a warm shower. Did sleep meditations. Nothing worked. Maybe slept four hours. Here is night 3. I traveled all day long with my family to a condo we are staying at for thanksgiving. So that’s 3 days of stressful things so far. I didn’t look at my phone for two hours tonight when we arrived to prepare for bed. I was beginning to feel exhausted. I even have an exhaustion headache. I tried reading for a wind down before bed. Went to bed at 10. It’s now 11:42 and I’ve tossed and turned. I’m crying in frustration. Ocd is telling me I’m never going to sleep again. I don’t know what to do. I’m away from my therapist. I’m away from my doctor. I’m going to try otc sleep aides tomorrow. I’m supposed to work from home tomorrow. And I can’t even fall asleep. It’s like I forgot how to do it in just 72 hours. I’m so frustrated and tired and anxious. Sleep is super important to me bc it helps keep ocd and ptsd in check. I don’t know what else to do and I’m supposed to be with family for a week. I’m 8 hours away from my home :(

It feels like I’m just in denial. Like I just need to accept it. I don’t want to. I want to have a husband and a babies. I don’t want this. I’m scared. It feels so. Real.

I found myself looking at a girls legs most days for a while. She's 15, I'm 36 now, maybe I was 35 then as it was a few months ago or less. It started 1 day as I thought nice legs, then went on and on. However I felt bad about it as she's 15! It kind of latched onto me and I remember thinking I won't look today but then I did anyway? Now my problem is why. Did I think they are a good set of legs and is that normal regardless if she's 15 but then that's that or am I a perv or is it OCD making it an obsession, as I used to feel bad about it! Then came looking at her butt one day as she was wearing tight leggings, I even said to myself how could a male not find that attractive (as a way to rationalise maybe it's a normal biological thing?)as I think it was an attractive image? but felt bad again because of her age! Then 2 different days came the feelings of arousal (which I tried to halt straight away) and a few sexual thoughts which I also did not want and was feeling crap about straight away. This is something that is bothering me considerably now and I even remember feeling bad and thinking I never want to see her again (not in a bad way, just a normal way) cos I'm feeling guilty about this! I do have OCD and it's latching onto all sorts of stuff, so is my anxiety and ocd on this girl making this all seem out of proportion?

*My vent here, and my question below* I’m having a very hard day. I’ve relapsed and have spent the past month STRUGGLING. I’ve recently been diagnosed. However, I realise now the signs were always there through my whole life - Conscious blinking and swallowing, air writing, hair pulling, rewriting things until they felt just right. I developed health anxiety in 2019. Things got better. But now, it’s outrageous. I’m ocd about my infant son. I see any type of mark, splotch of darkened pigmentation, bruise, freckle, anyyyything and I freak out. It’s started when the baby was 4mo and I when a read about a tumour causing condition of which a symptom is specific birthmarks. I’ve seen a dermatologist who says he’s fine. Thing is this condition can come to light even up to 6yo. Therefore, anything even very light coloured or small, I freak out that it might develop into these birthmarks. It extended to include checking his eyes and even his hair (I saw one strand on white/light caramel hair amongst his blackish coloured hair and freaked out thinking his hair was turning white, another symptom). I realise I simply can or will not accept uncertainty or in other words, the possibility my son could have this condition or anything serious like that really. I look at him and feel sadness and worry - He doesn’t deserve it. I know that until I can or will accept this uncertainty, I won’t be able to recover. I 100% feel that my checking him, I’m remaining vigilant. My greatest fear is being blindsided. *My question about ERP* My obsession is that my son is healthy and ok - that he doesn’t have the above condition. My compulsions involve checking his skin, comparing any marks I’ve seen by looking at photos or checking my own skin or that of others, and tonnes of ruminating. Therefore I feel that my triggers involve the thought he could have this condition and seeing his skin/a mark on him. I am exposed 24/7 with things like changing his nappy or clothes, showering/bath time, swim time, etc. I get anticipatory anxiety and my distress escalates if anything catches my eye during these scenarios, which it does 9/10 times. So then how would I go about doing ERP when I’m flooded with my triggers day in day out? I feel that if I go out of my way to expose his skin to trigger myself, particularly during a time that doesn’t call for it such as playing or sleeping, then I’m giving in to a compulsion. I know I can practice using my own thoughts to trigger me, and this is best done when he’s asleep at night so I can actually focus. I don’t know, it’s all too hard. I’m pretty much going at it alone because I can’t afford a nocd therapist (I’m in Australia) and because my counselor just diagnosed me, we haven’t done any ERP together yet. I’m waiting to see if I can get into an ocd group program in March next year.

I thought it would be great to share some comforting Bible verses with each. Feel free to comment your favorite Bible verse or just one thats really comforting to you.😇❤️ Here's one, Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed. For I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will up hold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:13.

Does anyone else experience perfectionism around their hair? I have dysmorphia about it and am obsessive over the placement of each hair. This seems tied to an obsession with being attractive- or not being "ugly" I guess. I feel shitty saying that out loud, but I'm curious if anyone else has had their vanity be a theme their OCD latches onto? It feels like a big fear. Like I'm afraid I wont be able to look at myself if I percieve myself as "unattractive". I feel like I've heard a lot people emphasize that OCD has nothing to do with vanity and I'm struggling to identify this as OCD because of that.

Does anyone deal with superstitious ocd ? Kinda hard to explain but the past few years I’ve been dealing with it. I went to a psychic and she told me I was going to get married and be with a certain guy by the age I am now. I started dating him and things around working out and I feel like if we break up my ocd makes me think I’m dying. ( I’ve had health issue the last year and my health ocd has been so bad) whenever I hear about the same illness on the tv or someone talking about it it also makes me feel like the universe is sending me a message to confirm it. Anyway me and this guy broke up yesterday now my ocd is triggered making me believe it didn’t work out because I’m. “ dying”

Yesterday my partner and I got into an argument. Not a huge one. He got frustrated that I misunderstood him thinking he was angry. He is sorta frustrated with my ROCD but knows that it isn’t just ROCD. He knows we both have things to work on and he always believes he is holding me back. He wants a better just something better than retail. He looks up job applications every day and looks at apartments to see where we could move and what opportunities are open. He doesn’t wanna go into fast food which I honestly don’t blame him. I told him he could work with me but from everything I told him he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. He doesn’t drive due to his own fears of driving which I can’t blame him it’s difficult to drive bc where I live people always tailgate me trying to hit me. Or I have to hard brake which honestly destroyed my front breaks. Even my mother wants to drive again but I told her it got harder to drive and she couldn’t handle it like she use to. My partner helps. With what he has. I told him that even if I wasn’t with him I wouldn’t be able to afford to live on my own. Due to my car and my credit card debt. I’ve never lived in my own in my own apartment so I am afraid that with everything I could end up on the street. My partner understands the situation where we live is unhealthy and he knows that we both need to leave. But he wants us to do it the right way and not rush bc it could cause us future problems. He wants away from my family too. He is not a huge fan. He knows I am stressed out bc of my ROCD, work, car problems and debt issues along with family issues. He wants us to figure out a way to do things correctly. My brain is in a rush for freedom and I realize my mom has ocd problems like cleaning and looking up health issues thinking that she has it. My ocd steams from my mother. I know he tries. I know he wants the same things. He is scared that he is holding me back bc he feels like he can’t give me more… 😞 I told him I don’t want a lot that I just want a place where it is quiet and I don’t have to feel others emotions and he wants the same thing but he knows right now with the way things are out there in the world that it’s difficult but we will find a way eventually. We just need the right opportunity to appear and go for it. That’s why he always looks up jobs and apartments bc he is hoping something would appear. After that talk I felt better. I calm down a bit and I was content to not obsess. And today I was doing fantastic laughing with my partner making jokes with him and watching Harry Potter. Until I went to my aunts house to clean. She started talking about responsibility and that caused me to start thinking too much again….

///////// I’ve lived my life so badly. I’ve made such horrible decisions as the result of the first bad decision that I still feel guilty about and I haven’t realized the real weight of them until now. I feel I’m sinking further and further and further and I’m too much a coward to amend any of this. I don’t even know how. I never imagined that this would be the kind of person I would end up being. I’m so ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I have to fix this but I don’t even know if I can even take the first steps. I guess I have to try and forgive myself first but I don’t know if I should. I don’t know anything. And I don’t want or need sympathy. I know I don’t deserve that. I don’t even know why I’m posting here

Basically. I’m scared that at some point I will feel no anxiety and ‘give in’ and accept it. I have a really hard time believing I have ocd (because I can’t get diagnosed because of my age) sometimes I feel like I do because I remember the days where I was crying on the floor with how real it felt and I DIDNT want it to be real. I worry that I am in denial and I’m just not accept it. Or that it’s suppressed. Or internalised homophobia. Anything really that means it’s all real. I have my moments where I feel normal again but they don’t last long. I wish I knew if it was hocd/ocd but then again I know I’d doubt it if I was told it was. But then again I feel like hearing a professional say ‘you have ocd’ would mean a lot to me. If anyone feels the same or similar I would love to know (btw reassurance very rarely helps me anymore. I just love knowing if I’m not alone and not going crazy) Maybe maybe not doesnt help. I always spiral more with that but I often use ‘I don’t need to know right now’ and that brings me some relief (not sure if it should but it does)

I haven’t posted in many months, but when I was deepest in my OCD despair I remember people’s treatment stories giving me hope. This time last year I was inconsolable. I felt disconnected from real life because of how much time I was spending in my own mind. I could hardly work, barely could participate in my relationship with my fiancé, and found myself in hysterics more often than not. I was overwhelmed, I was consumed. My main themes were SOOCD and ROCD—incredibly challenging themes to battle. For anyone battling them now, I and so many others here see you. You are not alone. A year ago I hit rock bottom on a Thanksgiving visit to my husband’s parent’s house. I disrupted the whole trip with my instability. I privately scribbled in my journal about how terrified I was, and how I knew the thoughts weren’t me but I didn’t know how to make them stop. A week later I learned about OCD. A month later I stated ERP. A year later I am feeling safer and cozier in my life than I’ve ever felt. I still have the thoughts about the same themes, even some new themes that try to latch every once in awhile. The difference is now I have the tools to let go of the thoughts, because that’s all they truly are: a string of words or images I’ve simply made up. I noticed they’re worse when I’m sick, tired, or stressed. A year later and, for the first time in my life, sometimes I don’t have a single thought in my brain at all. I can just be alive. You can make it through this.

I have contamination ocd and it gets rlly sticky bc I volunteer in a hospital. It’s confusing to try and understand what are legitimate concerns and what are ocd concerns. When i fight contamination fears as ocd, i always end up questioning if i made the right decision, or if I fought something that was actually a legitimate concern, not just ocd. And it doesn’t help that I can never quite remember the situation. Was there blood on my hand, or was it just red and irritated and my brain tricked me like it has many times before? Was that actually the one time it wasn’t ocd? Ugh it’s just so confusing. And then this feeling makes me feel guilty and like I’m the reason patients may get more sick, or like I don’t deserve a good life. Will I always feel like this? Has anyone overcome this?

Does anyone take more than 150mg of Wellbutrin for their ocd?