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I’ve had overpowering thoughts today. So I started my sertraline tablets hoping it would help. But now I feel worse. The thoughts feel so real but I don’t want them to be real.

Hi there guys, What is the therapy like? Are the therapists nice? I have in my head they’re going to be so judgmental and not actually understand what I’m going through. That it’s me and me alone. (I recognise this is OCD trying to pull a fast one!) Also, do you make sessions when you want? Or are you signed into a contract? I’ve heard it’s two sessions a week for the first month but what if I just want one session a week or after a month don’t feel the need for many more? Is it down to the patients discretion?

A few days ago i attempted. Im going inpatient in some days in a pretty good hospital hospital and has doctors and teams specialized in ocd. The intrusive thought that led me to attempt su!c3d3 was the million articles i read online. I say weird techniques like "recording ur intrusive thoights and hearing them half an our every day" and many more. These techniques are STUCKED to my head. I believe tjat if i dont do them I'LL NEVER GET BETTER. I cant trust any psychiatrist because of all the bullshit i read online. (Btw it was from accurate sites from "experts in ocd".) A few weeks ago before i read those, i did cbt and learned to ignore and not answer ocd thoughts and things were so much better. I have destroyed everything. Im ready to commit another attempt, if i cant trust my psychiatrists in the hospital Im doomed. I cant go there and be like " oh what you say is contradictory to what i read so i dont believe you". I feel my life is over. I dont want to live with this mind anymore.

My aunt passed away recently. I was very close with her and it was unexpected, relative to her general health just earlier this year. My heart feels broken and I can feel my OCD coming back which causes more stress. I can't tell if I'm avoiding the pain because it's a normal part of grief or if it's my OCD. I feel the urge to grieve "correctly" and be there for everyone else but then will burn out and need to isolate and ignore everyone because I'm afraid if I engage too much or not enough or not the "right way" when I feel depleted, that I will mess up myself or upset them or ruin the relationship. The pressure from OCD is so strong yet I'm still attempting to do my ERP though everything feels really horrible and out of whack, space like, because of the grief. Then I spiral, questioning that, as well, and if it's the grief or maybe the OCD is "finally making me insane". We have been clearing out my aunt's house and it's been a positive experience with my family, but it's been increasingly hard to see her items changed or adjusted or cleared. Some of this seems normal but I know the strength for which I feel it at times is OCD because I find myself close to panic each day we are done because essentially it's like 7 or 8 hours of exposures. Now I find intrusive suicidal thoughts coming back, depression (which seems normal for grief but exacerbates the OCD sometimes) and other intrusive thoughts involving my aunt or my cats and life and death. I feel like I'm going to fall apart and my body aches from carrying the stress. Anyway I'm just feeling horrible now that the intrusive thoughts are coming back more and everything is so out of whack, I don't understand the point of anything so doing ERP for this feels impossible or daunting or like such a minor thing to accomplish when I have so much else to do and already overloaded emotionally and mentally. Thank you for listening I just had to share.

when you’re upset at an argument or issue with someone, is it considered the bad kind of reassurance if i keep asking people if they think i did the right thing? something happened last week and im constantly going it over and over in my brain and need people to tell me that i did the right thing. the fact he blocked me makes me anxious and scared that one day he’ll unblock at text so, should i stop asking for reassurance around this situation? it does feel really really good when someone tells me they did the wrong thing (when they did something messed up)

For a while now I’ve started to think I possibly have an Ed. I consistently get anxious if I don’t intake what I feel is satisfying to me . I consume a lot of sugary food throughout the day. Through each course of a meal, I don’t feel full sometimes or at least I think. I eat a lot during nighttime . There’s a lot I’ve noticed throughout these last couple of months now . My eating routine is just not the same . I’ve gained over 20+ pounds over these months . I know due to my stressful circumstances, I cannot stop devouring all this food . My ocd is the main factor to overall all my problems . I’m not sure where to go to get a diagnosis . This is simply just a concern for me and I want to eat normally now because my habit of overeating only unmotivates me not to follow with the plans . For example; going to the gym . I know that if I want to successfully lose weight then I need to better manage my current state with food consumption . I don’t wanna fall back because I don’t know what I’m doing . Anyone have any suggestions in regards with this subject ? I genuinely just need to know how I can get a diagnosis .

Does anyone else get bothered a lot when someone feels certain in the possibility of what you get worried about? I have a BF and my mom was telling me she's certain another guy will catch my attention when I get to college and they'll be much better because they'll know what and who they want to be or do in their lives (we're in the 11th, school just started in September). It annoyed me cause I already get anxious if I'll no longer wa to be with him, so hearing her go "your eyes will fall for someone else In college cause of XYZ" caused me to get worried cause I don't want that to happen. I'm not sure how to put it, but it was her garuntee of me wanting someone else that stressed me out. I can't even express to her how it bothers me, she often goes on when she's upset that he's not going to be the only person ill date and etc.

Terrified I’m about to hallucinate or see / hear something :( A week ago while I was on a bus I heard a scary voice that sounded so close to my ear saying “you don’t like me” and it cut out right away, and I can’t tell if it was a hallucination or someone’s phone and I can’t keep obsessing about it :(

hi guys, well i have 17 years and 11 months of relationship since the 4th month I developed the thoughts of doubts, literally overnight I just woke up with a lot of anxiety and it's been like this until today, I've always had doubts for 2 weeks or more and I had a time of comfort and certainty, but in the last two months I feel calm with my partner and without anxiety but I feel numb and no longer with certainties, and I also developed a certain feeling or will, which is as if, as much as love is a choice, I keep thinking "what if I don't want to choose her" or "I don't want to love her anymore" and this has made me nervous and my stomach is churning as if this time it was really my truth and I really didn't know since I don't have moments of certainty anymore. does anyone have any advice or tips?

It’s so weird how OCD just comes about with no explanation, out of nowhere. My issue has been feelings. I have moments of hyper focusing on feelings, trying to figure them out, and it’s exhausting. Logically, I know that what I’m going through with the things happening in my life (relationship ending that was abusive, my father just getting diagnosed with dementia, etc) would make anyone feel the way I do. But I keep trying to fight my feelings. “Normally, old me” would embrace them and let them be. Ever since my OCD returned, I can’t help but fixate on them and stress even more. It’s almost like my emotions and the way we are as humans in my mind has become even more of a problem than the problems themselves. Can anyone relate? I am doing my best with ERP. I definitely helps. But I’m still waking up not feeling like myself and it hurts.

There are so many posts on here now that it’s become quite overwhelming. Some days I can use the app appropriately and get actually helpful information out of it or attempt to offer insight to people struggling. However, lately I’ve found I’ve been using it as a bit of a compulsion to see other people struggling like me to “reassure” myself it’s OCD. But I’ve also been triggered by a lot of people offering others really bad advice that isn’t good for OCD. There are way too many reassurance seeking posts (I know it’s hard, I’ve been guilty of it too). I think I’m going to take a break from the app. My advice to you, stop seeking constant reassurance. Stop obsessively reading stuff related to your intrusive thoughts/worries.

I am so depressed… I really believe I don’t love my partner anymore… 😭💔💔 I know deep down I do but why do I have to feel this way! Last night before bed I cried badly holding him bc I thought that will be the last time.. then this morning I started crying again and he could tell how depressed I was by it… he gave me a hug and I started crying more… rubbing my head against his belly. 💔😭 No one has to respond I just need to vent so badly… I did a bad compulsion yesterday. Saying I didn’t love him to make myself feel better but it backfired bc I cried so badly after saying that.. 💔 No one understands when I say that it honestly feel like I don’t love him anymore… I want this to ROCD so badly… I am beyond depressed and numb… I keep testing my reactions still. Am I just bored or sick of him at this point!? That can’t be right when I had my biggest clarity moment and I was completely fine out of the blue. I knew I loved him a lot. But I haven’t felt a clarity moment in 20 days basically…. It’s killing me….

I had intrusive thoughs since I'm 13, when I was 17 all of that came back to me one night and I "admited" to be into dudes, or at least like how they look, I don't remenber exactly what I said but I know that I dind't felt anxious, I actually felt good about it (not about being into dudes, but about finally giving an end to the thoughts, a conclusion) at the moment I didn't know about OCD or any of that so I thought it was the right thing to do. And now it's back saying that no one straight with HOCD would ever say or admit something like that

My daughter loves the movie Sing, and the other day while she was listening to the soundtrack, I realized that the U2 song “Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of” (sung by Scarlett Johansson in the movie) is really applicable to OCD and anxiety. Below are the relevant lyrics as I explained them to my beautiful wife and how I think they apply to OCD. The U2 version includes the last lines that are encouraging in helping you move forward, while the soundtrack version is a bit more soothing and comforting to listen to when OCD gets bad. I hope others find this encouraging. "I'm not afraid Of anything in this world There's nothing you can throw at me That I haven't already heard" All my OCD thoughts are repeat themes and I’ve already heard them "You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight These tears are going nowhere baby" I need to resist the compulsions, and my ruminations are going nowhere "You've got to get yourself together You've got stuck in a moment And now you can't get out of it Don't say that later will be better Now you're stuck in a moment And you can't get out of it" Stuck in my rumination, and it won't get better "later" if I do compulsions and don't resist it "I will not forsake The colors that you bring The nights you filled with fireworks They left you with nothing" All the nights filled with anxiety (fireworks in your mind) that didn’t end up helping anything "I am still enchanted By the light you brought to me I listen through your ears Through your eyes I can see" Even though I know the anxiety and OCD is not true, it still traps my mind (“enchants” me) and feels like truth (“light”). OCD makes me listen through OCD’s ears and see through OCD’s eyes instead of seeing things as they really are (i.e., no real threat, just an OCD obsession). "You are such a fool To worry like you do. Oh I know it's tough" The anxiety and worry OCD causes is pointless, but we all know how tough it is in the moment. "And you can never get enough Of what you don't really need now" We can never get enough of reassurance and compulsions, but we don’t really need that in the moment of our OCD "I was unconscious, half asleep The water is warm 'til you discover how deep" Compulsions (the water) feel good (warm) until you discovered they just get you deeper into it "I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall It's a long way down, to nothing at all" We don’t mean to get ourselves stuck in the obsessions and ruminations, but we fall into it anyway. And it’s a long fall to nothing, because the compulsions and ruminations don’t lead to a solution. "And if, and if the night runs over And if, the day won't last And if your way should falter Along this stony paths It's just a moment This time will pass" Encouragement to end the song

I have the most lovely 3 month old daughter....and I have chronic OCD over harm/paedophile OCD and it just consumes me. Last night , I was rubbing her chest to help her sleep and my hand rubbed over a wee button under her sleep suit. As she's a girl and I was rubbin her chest my head thought , " that's like a mound as if a breast"..... I can't remember what I thought or did after this but I may have thought " that's nice" and kept rubbing. Not long after I remember the thoughts being too much and lifting my hand away. I'm absolutely mortified at the thought I didn't lift my hand away the second my head associated that wee mound with a breast and feel like the worst dad ever now. I'm so upset over this . The amount of effort I put into not doing anything inappropriate then I let this happen. Hoping for some support! Thanks

Please comment if you have experienced severe depersonalisation where you feel unsure or doubtful about specific events? I was driving with my girls from a long trip and the whole time I was pre occupied with thoughts and anxiety asking myself if I was really behind the wheel? Are my kids with me in the car right now? Have I already harmed my kids in any way while being totally oblivious to what happened? Then when we got home , the thoughts continued on with doubts like did we make it home or did I get into a car accident and because I’m feeling so depersonalised I couldn’t reassure my self that we’re home safe and nothing like that happened …lately my DP and ocd have gone to the next level where I don’t feel like im a person , this morning for example I felt like I was a box with all these contents inside it and this feeling makes me feel like im going lose my mind and end up with some psychotic illness where I’ll get dumped in some mental institution 🥲🥲🥲🥲

I’ve been recently struggling so much with the intrusive thoughts and images, it was bad at first but now its worse. I cant even cry anymore. Im questioning myself. am i really crazy? am i really scared if these thoughts? what if i lose my self control? what if i am my intrusive thoughts? what if i don’t feel bad about them? im so scared my life is being taken over im not myself anymore i feel like im going through derealization as well which i’ve struggled with in the past. I haven’t been diagnosed but am almost 100% sure i have harm OCD im talking to a therapist and a doctor to get me on pills. Someone help me please or give me advice i feel so disgusted looking at myself bc i feel like im a sick human. These thoughts are against my family, especially my mom which is the person i love the most in the world. Im only 13 and miss my old self. I regret watching Dahmer so much, which is what initially caused this for the first time. What if im never gonna be the same again. I cant sleep i feel sick even eating. Am i alone on this.

I feel like i truly do not know what’s going on right now. Like i don’t feel with it at all. I don’t know how to describe it but i feel really weird. I have super bad intrusive harm images in top of it. The fact that I’m experiencing these images while not feeling with it is beyond scary. What if i just lose sense of who i am and do something super bad. The images are so gruesome and i don’t know what to do. What if i just do what I’m visualizing and not even realize it? Is it possible to just forget who you are? I’m so scared. Is this ocd? Is it just me? Am i a Monster? What if i act on these images that I’m having? What if i just don’t care? I think I’m scared but am i really? What if i just lose it?

hello! i’ve been practicing ERP for cheating OCD (both the fear of my boyfriend cheating on me and me cheating on my boyfriend, particularly while intoxicated.) i went to practice ERP the other day (talking about cheating on him while i would be drunk, or talking about him flirting with a girl at the bar and cheating on me.) both of these scenarios didn’t arouse any emotional response / distress. usually i get a pit of anxiousness, dread, and heavy feeling in my chest (also the feeling of when you miss a step on the stair and get that cool woosh through your body.) then i started beating myself up because i was like “well you’re not distressed / upset about the thought of cheating on your boyfriend or your boyfriend cheating on you, so you think it’s OK.” so i essentially went from feeling intense distress about the thought of cheating -> therapy -> practicing an ERP session by myself yesterday and not invoking any distress. and now i feel like since i didn’t feel any distress over the cheating scenarios, that makes me someone who would be fine cheating / getting cheated on. has this ever happened to anyone? i’m telling myself it’s literally my OCD because i’m still telling myself “your boyfriend will cheat, you will cheat, and now you feel 0 ways about it” which is essentially still cheating OCD LOL. also, does anyone have any ERP exercises for cheating OCD? my biggest fear (making me feel uneasy rn) is drinking and cheating on my boyfriend. i’ve only ever gotten drunk once in my life and it was blackout drunk, and experienced false memories in the following months because of it + a lot of anxiety. i’m afraid to drink again (especially get blackout drunk) because i know how scary false memories are. i’m also now afraid to drink at all / big quantities due to the fear of cheating. would ERP be actually going to the bar and drinking a bit? i’m not sure how to tackle this cheating OCD when it revolves around losing control with alcohol. thank you for reading! wishing you all good luck with your journeys

Has anyone been through many therapists in the past and still feel bad? That is what I feel like right now and in the past. I went to my new therapist for the third time today and instead of feeling better I felt awful afterwards. It seems like she is trying to figure out what is keeping me from living my life the most, but I am nowhere towards feeling better! I struggle with Generalized anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and major depressive disorder, so all of that together makes me feel terrible. I do think that the social anxiety and OCD are the things that are making me depressed because I have no friends and I am extremely lonely and that makes me depressed. I want friends so bad though. I don't have a life at all. I don't know how much more I can take. I can't even get any relief at night when I go to bed because I am so stressed. What's worse is I am driving away the people that care about me the most which are my parents because I am telling them how bad I feel and that I need a medicine to work for me to do therapy, but there seems to be none that.