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the NOCD Community

Have a roach infestation dad wont call exterminator because he thinks im obsessing. Found another one in my room this morning after finally thinking they were dead… last week i found 8 in my room in total. Decided to look up if roaches crawl on humans in sleep. Already haven’t been sleeping so this is great . 😄

When getting false memories, do the actions playing out in them feel too real ? Like you can see yourself doing the action, you know the action could be a "possibility" you have a familiar feeling something like that happened, and playing out the action feels real. You acting out something on someone. I really feel like I'm so alone in this....

Has anybody out here ever been so depressed and anxious that you feel as if you’ve completely let your life go? For example: I haven’t gotten a haircut in months, I wear the same clothes all the time (no motivation to wash them even though it’s downstairs,) my apartment is an unbearable mess (all my life before this disease I was neat as a pin,) my mailbox is probably flooded from not checking it for weeks, I’ve been putting off projects I’d like to do that I know will make me feel better, my to-do list has stayed stagnant for over half the year, I never wear make up or do my nails like I used to… I feel like a terrible bum. Everyday I just sit on the couch and pray to survive the day and then it ends there. Oh, and I’m sure my car looks terrible, as I haven’t been the one driving it lately. I’m also always stressed about money and hang onto every penny I possibly can even if it means taking away necessary things. I feel like I’m going to explode. :( If any of you have ever let everything go before, how did you go back to normal/bring it all back together? I’m afraid I’m going to live this way forever. Any advice would be so incredibly appreciated. I would be so ecstatic to hear your story — we may be able to help each other even. Thank you so much.

Hi all - I’m wondering if anyone has ideas for reducing ocd aside from medication? I’m not looking for a perfect solution, but I have read a lot about things like yoga, meditation and other things helping to reduce stress and ocd thoughts. I try to read or watch tv, but I don’t find it mentally stimulating to where I don’t have ocd thoughts. I used to love video games, since they’re very engaging and better than mindless tv (in my opinion), but I also don’t want to turn to video games as a way of avoiding my anxieties and then have that as my go-to stress reliever. I enjoy walks and music also, but I also feel like I need to be doing two tasks at the same time to keep myself distracted (such as walking and listening to music, listening to podcast, etc). Doing just one task makes it hard for me to concentrate. It’s gotten to the point where trying to relax actually makes me stressed, which puts me in a weird loop of trying to find out how to relax - stressed - try harder to relax - more stress, etc. Does anyone have things in particular that help them relax?

TW: Tics and imposter syndrome Alright, I have tics, it started with shaking my head whenever I had an intrusive thought, because I wanted to 'shake away' the thought. Then it turned into audible tics: making high noises, clicking my tongue, making weird sounds with my voice, and still moving my head, shockish moves with my body. When I'm with a lotta people it gets worse and worse, especially when people interact with my tics. Of course this causes funny moments like when someone says: 'what did u say?' and I respond with 'F#CK YOU!' but I don't like it if people are going to see me for just my tics and however funny some comments and tics are, it would be nice if people could ignore my tics. But there's this voice in my head that says: 'Yeah well you laughed with these people, of course you enjoy the attention when people enjoy your tics, you're doing this for attention, etc.' and that sucks! I don't enjoy having tics, I feel awful that people find me weird and funny because I have these tics. And of course I feel better and good when people just laugh a little and move on, because, yeah, my tics can be funny, but I'd really rather not have them!! This discussion goes on and on in my head, especially because when I forget about my tics they completely stop, but the second someone says 'tics' or reminds me of it, it starts again. The imposter syndrome is really bad and idk how to deal with it. Anyone here that relates and can help me a little with how to deal with the imposter syndrome?

Anyone else get deeply sad and jealous seeing other people thrive life ? Meanwhile we’re here stuck struggling with our ocd and just mental health in general . I’m envious of what some people are able to do that I can’t :( and I don’t mean it in a hateful envious way , but just a more sad kinda way that I wish I could do stuff they can simply like driving . I’m almost 20 and I know most of ykk have probably seen many of my posts about this , but it truly puts me in a difficult state of mind . I didn’t have mental capacity to do things at younger age:( I missed out on a lot . Seeing these 16-17 year old kids achieve things way more efficiently than I did just makes me feel shitty about myself . Everyone having fun on weekend and I’m not . I don’t have many friends either .

I feel numb as to be expected. Idk what to do. Should I have expected to feel love towards my partner again at this point? I feel like I’m just uninterested in him. It makes me really scared. I am so lost without the obsession of if he likes me enough or something I don’t even know what I’m missing. We’ve been together 2 years this started to get super bad 4 months ago. When I say that I mean it changed from am I good enough to am I in love with him still.

I can’t deal with the real event ocd guilt. I just can’t. It doesn’t matter what I do it bothers me every single day 💔

soooo i have ocd. and i’ve been through HOCD and health anxiety. i have a new theme, the “what if i’m going crazy”. this one has hit pretty hard. i’ve gotten over the intrusive thoughts that were like “what if you’re crazy” and all of that. but NOW i have a fear about hallucinations, and my brain will literally make up the most weird ideas and imaginations. and i’ll look at anything, like a candle, and the intrusive thought will be “what if that candle grew legs, why did you think that, you must be insane”. and i have no idea if anyone will get that at all.

Let us know in the comments.

Tell us what anticipatory anxiety feels like for you. In what kind of situations do you recognize feeling these types of feelings/difficulties?⁠ ⁠ PS: ERP can help with this, too!⁠

I was in a relationship with a narcissist and after I broke up with him, I lost my identity and sense of self. I didn’t trust myself at all. I find myself constantly researching about narcissism and questioning if I’m the narcissist instead because of the way I’ve been dragged by him. < I’m guessing this is a form of OCD. Also, my brain feels stuck in the past and I always find myself double checking if I’m doing the right thing because I was having horrible intrusive thoughts and felt like a horrible person On top of the abuse.

So my husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now. We got married young and real quick about 9 months after dating. When we got married my husband used to be a very friendly flirty person but in a harmless way. He didn’t really think of the consequences of the things he’d say he would just blurt it out lol like no filter. Anyway, sometimes he would make compliments at my sister and for some reason that made me upset. She had a boyfriend at the time, anyway fast forward a few months and I guess my sisters boyfriend and my husband were having “guy talk” which I don’t quite understand that. But my sisters boyfriend made a comment about me having nice legs and my husband made a comment back about my sister having big boobs or a nice chest and he’s a lucky guy. Fast forward a couple months later to Halloween he texted her about her Halloween costume teasing her since the stockings she was wearing looked like tan likes but at the point I was so sensitive about the boob comment that the stocking comment alarmed me. I want to mention my husband has changed a ton, he’s no longer immature lol we are in our 30s now he’s reserved and talks about our future non stop and worries for me, all the things a woman wants in a husband. I’ve been good for 4.5 years never bringing this topic up but for some reason I’m stuck in a loop that he made those comments because he wanted my sister and not me and the anxiety that comes with it is unbearable. It’s like I feel this so deeply so it must me true? I can’t tell if it’s because I’m so stuck it feels real and that it is the case and he does like my sister or I’m in denial and want someone to tell me it’s not true. I just want it all to stop because we have such beautiful memories and now I’m focused on a moment of what was immaturity. If you took the time to read this I appreciate you. I’ve asked him a thousand times if he made those comments because he desired her and he said absolutely not, in fact they always bicker and he’s always picking on her calling her boring so she’s not really his type. My mother knows about this and she thinks it was a moment of immaturity and he’s a good man.l and never noticed him being interested in my sister. My sister who was on the receiving end of this says no that’s not the case he was just a dumb ass and my mother in law says I need to get over it. But here I am stuck and I can’t get unstuck. It’s all I can think about. Is what I feel real and Is it true or is this my OCD blowing up the situation more than it really is? Thanks for your time.

i have longed for a romantic relationship for a long time, but im so scared. i’ve never been in a relationship, and i never know what “it’s supposed to feel like” when you like someone. i’m also just scared about the person being manipulative or rude. but im also scared that im going to be controlling even though i really don’t want to be. i know this is probably my ocd talking, and it’s definitely something i need to work through. thank you for listening <3

I really need some advice right now so please if your readying this just tell me how you feel or what you think could help. So I have many types of ocd and have been struggling for a year now but a couple months ago everything seemed to ease a little and I was happy with myself again but recently I fell into a spiral about my sexuality and then I figured that out too and thought okay good another issue gone but then all week I’ve been constantly having panic attacks and worrying all night about relationships. Now I don’t know if this is connected to ocd but I’m pretty sure it is but basically I constantly get scared and dread being in a relationship even though I want to at the same time? Thinking of being in a relationship with someone gives me terrible anxiety like I don’t even now how I’d function or how I would show affection. The thought of making out and having sex scares me but then when once a day il be in a good mood and change my mind and think no I want to it will be fun. And it’s a constant spiral and it’s making me want to never be in a relationship ever it’s just so scary to me. I’m 15 and have never been in a relationship but I’m too scared to even talk to boys. Can someone help I’ve told my parents I think I have ocd and they don’t believe me:(

I just finally felt like I was getting a handle on my OCD and my life, growing, being happy, being in the present… I hadn’t spiraled too badly in almost two months… and all of a sudden, a lot of really stressful things coincided and it’s all back. I struggle with ROCD the most of all my themes and someone came back into my life during a very stressful time, and now I’m all messed up again. I’m so tired of being alone (I’ve been single for 2 years) and I’m tired of just ~feeling~ alone. I don’t feel like I can even talk to anyone about it. I also know my OCD wants to do anything to keep me from being alone, yet I’ve conquered that over the last two years a lot. I just am done with it. I knew OCD could and would come back, and it was just a lull, but I am so overwhelmed and distraught that it’s back. I’m afraid of tomorrow. Afraid of the silence again. Afraid of it and myself. I hate it. Maybe I avoid relationships forever. I absolutely hate this and am so scared.

Hey friends, really rough day. I want to go to therapy but it feels like my therapists are afraid of me or don't understand me. They encourage me to just keep doing Exposure therapy but I know I'm not going to act on anything! I know I'm supposed to say "maybe maybe not" but that's not what's going on here! I feel guilty for THINKING these things! I opened up to a person the other day and they opened up about their anxiety and depression and wanted to tell them my struggles over the last 9 months but I know that my thoughts are gross and not real. I want to stop feeling guilt for my thoughts WITHOUT endorsing my thoughts. I can expose myself all I want, it doesn't make my thoughts good.

i keep thinking that I’m in denial and so I just try to accept the thoughts and I guess identify them but I really don’t want to be a boy and I feel like I sometimes use my ocd as an excuse or I think I am and that I’m using that so I can just stay in denial or something idk I feel like a boy at this point I don’t feel like a girl anymore and I’m so exhausted from crying over it and just crying in general I feel like I’ll never feel like myself again or when I do I feel like it’s fake and not real or me I guess finally identifying or coming to terms with being a boy or something and it just doesn’t feel like ocd anymore idk I’m not sure what to think I also just get anxious thinking about being in relationships or something I feel like everything just all of a sudden switched

does anyone have any annoying ocd triggers? mine include anything scary or crime :( I love horror and true crime but can’t enjoy it without my state of mind being harmed :/

This is going to sound weird, but the OCD guilt that I have makes me feel as though I actually committed a horrible crime, and sometimes I have to remind myself "hey, you didn't k**l anyone, you just have intrusive thoughts/make a tiny mistake 3 years ago". I also have a huge fear of the police busting down the door for something "I did wrong"? Even though I didn't do anything wrong, its so weird. Does that make any sense? Please say I'm not alone.