Welcome to
the NOCD Community

OCD is often highly misunderstood and stigmatized, and people often spend years—even decades—before learning that they have the condition. When people finally figure out that what they struggle with has a name, it can give them a completely fresh perspective. So how do people actually end up finding out that they have OCD? Here are some of the most common ways that people share with us: Searching their thoughts online. It’s very common for people to learn about OCD by Googling some of the thoughts or behaviors they’ve experienced. This can involve anything from looking for reassurance (“Is it normal to check on my baby every hour at night?”) to searching for information about OCD specifically (“Do I have OCD?”). Word of mouth. Other people’s experiences can be powerful and illuminating. It’s not uncommon for people to recognize their own OCD symptoms by speaking with a family member who also struggles with the condition, a coworker who received ERP therapy in the past, or a friend who shares their own intrusive thoughts. Social media. It’s probably not surprising to hear that social media has allowed many people to learn about others with similar experiences. Whether it’s from a personal story on TikTok or someone setting the record straight in the comments of a misinformed Facebook post, social media makes a wide range of information about OCD accessible. Podcasts, TV, and movies. Many popular podcasts about mental health or even related topics like parenting can give people access to information about OCD. And while many depictions of OCD in TV shows and movies are inaccurate or rely on stereotypes, they can lead people to recognize real OCD symptoms in their own lives. Mental healthcare providers or doctors. While it’s not uncommon, people find out that they have OCD from clinical sources less often than you’d think. When they do, it can come after years of confusion, misdiagnosis, and seeing several different providers in a search for answers. How did you first learn that you might have OCD? Reply with your own story below.

I need ADVICE. I love my boyfriend. He’s 20 and I’m 20. We started talking in 2020 I’ve always liked him and we officially started dating last year in August. (Almost our 1 year) prior to dating we were long distance talking border was closed due to covid and we would facetime. He’s an amazing guy. He treats me well but I don’t know why I’m questioning if I’m bi or lesbian or if I don’t want to be with him or if he’s the wrong guy for me. He’s my first ever serious relationship that is potentially going to or can lead to marriage I haven’t experienced this before. I don’t know if its because it feels so right that it feels weird. I don’t know if this is an actual issue or just OCD. I never had these thoughts/ feelings when we were talking / when we first started dating. I don’t see myself dating or marrying a girl. I’ve never crushed on a girl but I would do sexual things as an experience or whatever sure. Sexual things with a girl turn me on like lesbian p0!rn. I’m just so scared about this :( I don’t know what it is. How do I deal with it or figure it out? I can see myself marrying him but I’m scared that it could be the wrong decision because I could be lesbian or I could hurt him or if he’s the wrong guy Idk :(!

I have been dealing with soocd for a while now. It all started when I was struggling with my first true heartbreak. I remember during this time I would see TikTok’s about comphet and this would make me worried.Still it was stuck in my mind like it is now. I am now in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. There was no denying that I was sexually attracted to him in the beginning. But now it is making me feel as if I’m lying to myself. Granted, I have been scrolling through latebloomers and other subreddits. It is ruining the sex I once enjoyed. I am also always thinking about my past and trying to see if there were any signs of me suppressing my sexuality. It gets so muddy I can’t tell what’s true and not. I know it’s not bad to be a lesbian and I know my family would accept me if I was one. I just still feel like me not thinking I’m gay is denial. I just don’t know. It also doesn’t help that i keep seeing videos/TikTok’s of women having boyfriends only to realize they were lesbian the whole time. I’m confused at this point. Am I lying to myself. I never had worries about my attraction to men but now I find it hard to differentiate between romantic, platonic and sexual attraction. It’s tough it’s really tough

Do any of you have both OCD and Tourette’s?? Or a tic disorder? How can YOU personally tell the difference between a tic and a compulsion? I’m thinking there may be more going on with me than OCD alone! Thanks!

im so tired. i just want to fall asleep, but every time i’m about to im interrupted by another intrusive thought, some in the form of another person’s voice. it’s like my brain isn’t letting me fall asleep. any advice??? this is maddening.

I’m a mom of a 6 month old and my OCD has gotten so bad that my brain constantly convinces me that I’m doing something bad to her or feeling a gross way about her to the point where I don’t even want to be near her. This is breaking my heart because I love my daughter so much and had such a strong bond with her and this is killing me and making me sad/feel disgusting at the same time.

I really need some help or advice right now, im dealing with a whole bunch of thoughts n urges about my relationship, this isn’t the first time it happened it’s happened before and i let all those thoughts n urges win and i ended up ruining things with my gf at the time and we ended up breaking up, n i had felt some relief because i didn’t have those feelings or thoughts anymore but the thing is i didn’t want that to happen i wanted to be with her i wanted her back bc i loved her. so we fixed things and we are back together, everything was fine we were all good, i thought those feelings wouldn’t come back this time but they did. and this time they are convincing me i don’t feel anything anymore, that i don’t love her, that i don’t want to be with her anymore, and it’s really scaring me bc i know what i want, i want to be with her, i love her, she’s so kind n patient and understanding with me she’s never done anything to upset me, so i don’t know why i’m getting these thoughts again. they came up out’ve the blue and i started freaking out about it and crying since then. I js want these thoughts to go away so i can enjoy my time with her and not have her worried for acting the way i am. i really do love her and only want to be with her but my head is telling me otherwise. The first time i had these thoughts i was ignoring everything about them bc i didn’t like them i wanted them to go away. and i was ignoring everything about them. the stomach feelings, all the nausea everything, i did that for a couple weeks before i couldn’t anymore after those weeks i started being not the best person towards her anymore bc i was convinced i didn’t have feelings anymore i convinced myself i didn’t have any. i started texting people she didn’t want me texting i started texting like a friend i was js being not the best towards her. and i thought i didn’t care until we started arguing and we broke up. i realized i still wanted her, that i still loved her and always have, i realized everything i did and i knew i let all those thoughts, feelings, and urges win. and those ruined my relationship. This time i know what i’m dealing with and i don’t want to do the same thing to her again, i don’t want to deal with that again, i just want help so i can show her all the love she deserves and i also wanna do it for me so i don’t feel all these bad things. I just want to be okay.

When you just don’t know anymore. Is it OCD, is it me. Is it ocd because I’m questioning it? Can someone help me. I’m having a tough time with suicidal OCD and keep thinking that this is with me forever and it’s not going to get better. My ROCD has also started to kick in 😢 I feel like I can’t enjoy myself because these thoughts and feeling are just sitting over me

Does anyone feel a weird sense of guilt for not going along with the things people say you should do? Like breaking up, or finding the freedom in being single/polyamorous, *or insert whatever thing it is for you* (by the way, my intention is to not offend anyone who identifies with these things, just to share some similarities with folks who might be in the same position as me). Can anyone let me know the things they feel guilty for not necessarily doing? Because the brain makes it all seem so good and whatnot but I choose to stay with my monogamous partner and not break up❤️

I suffer from severe Rocd and recently try harder to do new things for my improvement such as study a course, go to the gym, get out more. The first few days I felt really good, having mild rocd symptoms but being in a good general state. I felt proud and hopeful. As the days went by, Rocd started coming back with horrible thoughts bombarding me in many different ways. I started doubting again, questioning my relationship with my husband, feeling scared and terrible. Yesterday it escalated with me having a serious Rocd episode crying, screaming and feeling it will never end. It felt like I started from zero again. It's like Rocd wants me back where I was, like being happy is bad and my destiny is to feel numb and scared...why does it come back so bad after a seemingly beautiful period??? I hate going back there , living the nightmare again and again...i felt so hopeless and alone experiencing Rocd all over again...any advice guys for this situation????

Hello everyone! 🤗 My question is about is it okay when I have a thought, for example, that I've contaminated something with bodily fluids, to tell myself that "it's just OCD"? And in this way I make it easier to stop overthinking about it and I refuse to clean everything that may be contaminated? And how can I do exposure for something that I think is really dirty and I don't want anyone at home to touch, like sperm for example? Thanks in advance!

Hi, I’m new here I’m not sure if I’m supposed to post all this on here or not but I’ll give it a go. I’ve been recently wondering if I have OCD and wanted to get opinions from people who actually understand what it’s like before I get support as I’m worried about wasting their time. I’m aware that if I do have OCD it is definitely only mild. Some examples of why I think I might have OCD is because I have intrusive thoughts which up until the other day I thought there was something wrong with me. I have definitely had them for a few years but just ignored them and would forget about them, more recently I have acknowledged them more and felt like there was something wrong with me. I feel a bit better knowing that it’s normal. I’m also aware that these thoughts can often act as a trigger for compulsive behaviour but for me I just get a bit stressed out and then move on and try and forget about it which is why it’s taken me so long to acknowledge them. They have also become more frequent since I acknowledged them. I also have a thing about rubbish which I don’t know if that’s related to OCD or not. Basically I hate other people’s rubbish, for example certain rubbish is okay if it’s family or a friends such as crisp packets but when eating lunch in high school if my friends put wrappers on the table I would have to avoid looking at it to stop myself from heaving in front of everyone. So it’s really strange as it depends on who’s rubbish it is and what type. Like water bottles I can touch but bottles or cans with other drinks in I will avoid touching and if I do I have to wash my hands. I’ve also heaved at my own rubbish before though and was nearly sick. I also clean a lot. I know this is stereotypical which is why I don’t want to assume that I have OCD and I have seen videos that when someone has OCD they hate cleaning. I actually find it quite relaxing but if my room is a bit messy I get really overwhelmed and will avoid going in my room and will only cope in there if I’m about to go to bed as I know I don’t have to look at the mess. Sometimes I don’t care if it’s a mess but other times I genuinely can’t cope and have ended up in tears because I’m stressed about my room not being clean. However I don’t care how the rest of the house looks because I live with my mum and I see my bedroom as all my stuff and therefore want it my way. I also won’t eat certain food if all the packages are touching, for example my mum just throws snacks all into the same places and as a result I would refuse to eat anything out of there until the other day when I properly cleaned it. This has only really become a thing as I’ve gotten older. I also sometimes get worried that if I don’t do something then someone will die or get hurt. However this was more of a thing I did when I was younger and a lot less now. But the other day my boyfriend was going to work and I told him to be safe and made a joke about how I’d probably tell him another ten times, I then somehow decided that if I didn’t say it another then times then something would happen to him on the way to work and proceeded to act as if I was joking by repeatedly telling him to be safe but realistically I was doing it because I was actually worried. There is more but this post is too long. Please just be honest and let me know what you think. Thank you if you did actually read all this, I appreciate it

OCD isn’t easy, and it can make us feel like it’s our whole life. we’re all here a lot talking about OCD, so why not get to know the people we’re talking to? what’s your favorite drink? music? do you have a style you like? any pets? any s/o’s? how are they like? are you a hopeless romantic or a creative hippie? what are your hobbies? if you’d like to say your OCD background, spill away :). what themes are you having? what successes have you had? what do you need to improve on? what is a piece of cake? tell us about yourself ! <3 !

So I've always liked watching more kinkier p*rn. But never really into doing it in real life. So I'm 20 gay male, and I've touched myself to some really kinky stuff. But then I was in this server on telegram and I was obviously touching myself and saw some CP and I ended up finishing. I've never regretted something so much. Because I'd never do anything to a child. And also I'm a bottom! So all these intrusive thoughts are fake because I'd never top and I'd never hurt a child. But the fact that I came was so gross. And Idk if I have POCD but all I feel on a daily is regret. And I really don't know how to stop this. I'm trying to get a therapist but what if they just end up calling me a P.

hello! recently i have discovered that i might have ocd, specifically HOCD/SOOCD. however i need opinions and people’s input .. etc. english is my first language but i still have trouble finding better words/wordings so please don’t mind the parts where they don’t make sense.. so during may (2022), i flew from hawaii to cali to see my family and friends. everything was going really well. before this, it was a few weeks before school was over for the year and i was feeling this empty feeling for my boyfriend. i love him very very much and i wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world. we were talking since december and made it official in march. the feeling was there just for a bit, i shrugged it off as nothing because i knew that i love him. back to the cali part, i was away from him so there was distance between us. i started to feel absolutely nothing and just pure anxiety and panic because when i thought of him, i felt nothing.. i thought that was a sign that i did not love him anymore. i’ve spoken to my friends and close family about my feelings towards my boyfriend and they’ve all told me about the honeymoon phase. which i never knew about because i grew up where you had to feel some kind of giggly, flustered, butterflies feeling ALL THE TIME with your s/o and/or crush. i started to feel more aroused towards women, they could be doing anything and i would have lots of groinal responses. i’m bisexual, i’ve heard that it’s pretty common to be slightly confused with being bi due to people belittling the sexuality (ex. telling bisexuals that they’re confused, should only choose one or the other, etc.). i’ve been identifying as bi since 6-7th grade (i’m becoming a junior in a month from now) so these groinal responses towards women to me were either because of my attraction to women or that i’m a lesbian because at the time when i was at cali and having panic attacks, i didn’t feel any sort of responses towards men. i constantly read the lesbian master doc to see if i relate to any of the written things and tbh i don’t really relate to any of the stuff at all. however my brain keeps making me rethink and second guess and basically convincing me that i do relate to all the said things in the document. this has made me feel very very anxious and depressed. i’ve gone thru this before but i just never knew that it was a sign of ocd.. i’ve told my boyfriend and my mom about how i’ve been feeling and they’re both supporting me. my boyfriend has been checking up on me and so has my mom + other friends that i’ve told. this has made my summer vacation a living hell. i was looking forward to this ever since the beginning of the year and now it’s just hot, sweaty, depression, and anxiety. as i’m writing this, i must’ve left a lot of things out. but replies would really be nice to help me figure some things out because i still don’t even know if it’s denial or ocd..

I have been on Wellbutrin for a month and didnt see much improvement in my focus or energy. My psychiatrist told me we should try a higher dose to see if it works better. However, I’m worried that a higher dose of Wellbutrin = more focus on compulsions rather than concentration on work? Thoughts ?

i get online and look up ocd doctors and ocd therapists that are in tennessee and accept tenncare which is none but all these facilities seem amazing i was reading bout volunteer behavioural health they had all these programs and care for you individualized plans and case manager then i realized its called cumberland mental health here in crossville tennessee and was like that is not wat that place is they made up my plan which was seeing the doctor and prescribed me tlk therapy even though any research will show them thats not for ocd and when i explained to the doctor bout my experience wit the therapist there many years ago that i wlk into the office and sat down and the therapist told me there not allowed to ask bout personal life anymore all they can do is give you resources to help you and she asked me if i new wat deep breathing is which i told her i did and she was like wat is it then as if she didnt belive me so i told her its were you breath in threw nose fully hold it and breath out slowly and then she told me to do it and i did and when i told the doctor this she told me thats bout the help id still receive if i did the tlk therapy there now like are you serious i had also read they do telehealth which was the reaosn i started going my first appointment was on zoom but then was told to come into the office which i told them i struggled wit leaving the house i asked my doctor if i could do it on zoom at my house and she told me i had to come into the office every month i think so i went in i was late they were gonna rescedule when i told them no i asked for the latest appointemnt and they woudnt change it so id show up as soon as i could they squeezed me in and they wlk me to a tiny room to see the doctor on a fucking computer i was like this is rediculous this doctor who has no agorophobia issues has been to college and has a nice job gets to sit at her house in her regular clothes all comfy while i barely made it here i did my intake appointemtn on zoom but now i gotta come in thats insane everything online mentioning tellehealth was a lie along wit everything else also my case manager used to wokr at the factory my bf works at and had no idea wat ocd was i told her some of my issues and 1 of them was i cant eat certain foods and eat at certain resteraunts and she was like thats crazy is it a gag issue like no its a mental health issue if i had stomach issues id go to a doctor i also cant wear certain colors for the same reason wit the food thing this lady was suppose to help me when she has no idea wat ocd is and the horrible life ppl live and that its serious and very depressing for ppl to live wit i cant wash my own hair and can barely take care of myself and im 29 thats depressing itself i dont trust anythign i read online wit these places when they mention wat they offer cause they dont offer any of that i txt my case manager and told her please to get someone to teach ocd treatment there get someone that is trained in ocd to come there so ppl like me can get help there but im sure they just see me as someonewho doesnt want help like no they had nothing buyt an antidepressant to offer me every 30 days when im gonna need it the rest of my life also the pharmcay issues tehm not haveing my medication in and prior authorisation problems insurance proboems i swear its just all crazyness when it doesnt have to be it shouldnt be that hard to go get meds pick them up and go home.

For years I was a very anxious person, I acquired anxiety since I was bullied at my school, since I was a child. A few years ago I realized that I was overdoing it with cleaning, I always wanted to wash my hands thinking that if I didn't, I would get some disease. After that time I started to attend my church, I became a very religious person, in this environment I went through some good things and some bad things, I've seen people point the finger at me for some things they liked to do. Then they kept saying that because of my behavior I could become a nun because I was a well behaved person, This stayed in my head and at the same time I felt guilty for not wanting this in my life, sometimes I was afraid that God would punish me. I am currently unable to attend my church as I used to for fear of judgment from people and also for fear of being in a serious sin and someone pointing the finger at me and starting to feel bad.The last time I had a crisis was when I heard from a priest that watching soap operas is a sin, I spent 5 days straight researching this on the internet and the more I couldn't find what I was looking for the more anxious I felt. I caught myself several times asking God to get rid of these thoughts.There was also a time in my life when I was terrified of speaking some blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and never being forgiven by God, The Bible makes it very clear that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is an unpardonable sin.

Anyone else believes they are bisexual but OCD still tells you that you’re using it as an excuse or as a gateway…saying that you’re not bisexual but gay/lesbian?? I’m married to my husband and OCD convinces me that I don’t love my husband and that these obsessions wouldn’t happen if maybe I was with a woman. Can OCD even convince you, there’s urges that I must walk away because what if I’m living a lie. Truth is, I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t be intimate without obsessing…when he tries to be intimate there’s always resistance and hesitancy from me…and then I just avoid it overall so I don’t get triggered and go into checking but what if this wouldn’t happen If I was with a woman? I’m so scared, I don’t want to lose him or am I just trying to convince myself that I don’t want to lose him….ugh I’m in a loop that I can’t get out of. Ruminating and thinking that if I obsess long enough then I will find the answer to everything…what if I don’t love him I’m so scared, I just see how much this all hurts him, my avoidance with him. I can’t focus even when he talks to me, my mind keeps being loud and shifts into obsessive thinking by checking etc. idk I need support I guess

Don't forget to remember how far you've come and all of the wins you've collected along the way.