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does anyone else experience extreme fear of developing psychosis or schizophrenia or derealization. I literally freak myself out so much that it makes me physically sick. I’m so scared of developing these and it keeps coming up all over my TikTok and Google. It’s freaking me out.

I’ve been struggling a lot with existential OCD lately, but for some reason, I’ve been fixating on the human body. And I can’t stop thinking about how incredible it is. Like, we’ve figured out how our bodies work, down to the smallest cell. We understand every pulse, every beat. We know how the heart—this intricate, delicate thing—keeps us alive without us ever having to ask it to. And if we did ask it to, it wouldn’t respond. It wouldn’t listen to our conscious brain. If your heart is failing, asking it to work wouldn’t do anything. The heart itself is a masterpiece. It’s not just a pump; it's a rhythm, a beat that holds everything together. Four chambers, valves opening and closing with precision, blood flowing in perfect cycles, never missing a beat. It keeps us alive even when we’re not thinking about it, doesn’t need our permission to keep going. It works for us, endlessly, without complaint. It’s kind of wild when you think about it. Our minds might spin out of control, but the body? The body’s got it all figured out, like it’s always working in the background, quietly supporting us. It’s beautiful that way—how the heart just keeps beating, how we keep going, even when we forget to appreciate it. The most wonderful part, we can be us. I can be a conscious person, while my body is almost robotic, all to keep my consciousness here. It’s scary sometimes, to think that we have no control. But right now, to me, it’s beautiful.

im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.

I’m turning 30 in a few months and all I can think about how my Parents never took the initiative to actually help me when it came to my mental illness. Now my OCD is probably the worst it’s ever been and I feel like I can’t do anything. Like I’m trapped in a tunnel and there’s no way out. I’ve gone from job to job, never fully finished my degree due to severe OCD/depression never making enough money for professional help and being gaslighted all these years about my illness. I resent my family and myself for not trying hard enough to get better. If anyone can relate feel free to share. Anyways I pray this year will be the year I find my out.

Does anyone like go through waves. Your mind is super silent maybe a couple of thoughts but you are able to brush it off? But then out of nowhere your mind just starts rushing with every thought? If so, how do you cope with this? It drains me.

Really bad theme right now is death, I keep thinking about how one day or at any moment my heart will stop my brain will stop & my memories & everything I know will all fade away. It is giving me so much anxiety I’m only 18, but I realize it all happens to us it is bound, we are born to die. I know it’s a silly thing to be scared because it’s not helping the quality of my life worrying about it and even when I do die, I won’t care , if you don’t have a working brain then how can you care 🤷‍♀️. It is tainting my everyday life currently & honestly making me terribly depressed & it is giving me derealization & making me feel nihilistic, I’ll remind myself it’s okay but then with my ocd i don’t stop thinking and thinking about it and it’s seriously so hard to stay present in the moment because this thought just feels like I can’t scrub it away it’s miserable I struggle with religion, but I do pray to anything that’s out there possibly listening, because it is comforting, it just feels like this whole experience Is pointless & I am afraid of the unknown and what is to possibly happen but I’m subjected to it anyways so why should it matter

So for a while i have been suffering of HOCD combined with a little of ROCD and had massive episodes of anxiety and panic attacks, because of that I lost my attraction and my libido while also being in a relationship and that stresses me bad. Also since the start of the severe anxiety I started to lose it gradually over time and at the moment I do not feel any anxiety anymore while having these thoughts which makes me think that I want this to happen because they don’t disgust me anymore. Any advices on how to hold on and get over my OCD? Also is the disappearing of disgust a sign of recovery or denial?

I am so so so anxious, I cant even describe it. I have this horrific anxious feeling going through my body where it feels like im about to do something terrible. I feel incredibly sick, shakey, panicky. Due to this harm ocd episode. I am so scared that I might act on a disgusting horrific harm intrusive thought. I dont wanna be near knives, go to the kitchen or even get up. As im so scared that Im going to act on it. I know I dont want to but this anxiety and horrid feeling makes me feel like i do. I am petrified the anxiety is terrifying. I sat in the kitchen earlier while my brother was close and I was scared because it feels so real even typing this im starting to panic. Please respons please and please say if your uk based it brings me a bit of comofrt as I know im not alone in this country! What makes it worse is my family were talking about their aspirations and dreams then i felt even more scared of the intrusive thoughts because if i did act on them they would be destroyed and then I also feel so much guilt cos i get scared my bf is scared of me has anyone had this does it go.

I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(

I've found myself writhing on the ground from intrusive thoughts of my past. I have bruises all over from me hitting myself. Every waking moment is a nightmare, I can't do anything. Can't let people be mean. But standing up for myself turns into cruelty. Cruelty turns into a loathing, and then I fear that everyone hates me. I wish I could die, and live again. I don't want to lose my life, but I can't live like this.

Hey guys I’m thinking on starting ssri but I’m very scared it will change me and my personality idk. I am a mom and I’m worried I’ll be more of a burden. I just want to be fight for me. My Dr suggested meds. I have been having anxiety for 9 + years and I’m stuck and I know I need a change

Happy New Year's Eve! I know this time of year might leave us feeling down. If anyone has anything they want to talk about, or if you'd like to vent/talk about something getting you down, or if you just want to chat, or anything, I'd love to listen! :) It can or doesn't have to do with the holidays. (And don't worry about being a downer on a holiday, I'd like to listen if you want to talk about anything that's bothering you) If you need something specific out of a conversation (i.e. you just want me to listen and don't want me to comment or give my opinions or thoughts), let me know and I'd be happy to oblige! And, of course, I'm no therapist. Just thought I'd give that disclaimer. Also, if I respond in a way that seems like the conversation would logically be over but you still want to talk, I'll still be ready to listen! Sometimes I don't have a bunch to comment, but I'll listen for as long as you want to talk! And here's a fire for a fireside chat if you want 🪑🔥🪑🛋 Love you guys!

I've been bedridden with anxiety and haven't eaten much. I tried going on a walk and broke down halfway through to cry. It kind if helped my physical anxiety but hasn't helped my ocd much. ERP is so difficult. It just makes me exhausted and anxious and cry. And I don't even feel a little better afterwards, so what's the point? I get I'm supposed to build up resilience but when? when do I finally feel some reward? I'm suffering, I don't have the energy to fight these thoughts when all the thoughts I have are rumination or intrusive. Medications haven't worked for me either. Maybe I'm not going to get better. Happy new year to me.

I'm so tired 😭 I've been dealing with severe trans ocd for a month. My ocd is making me worry I'm a trans man. The thing is. I'm already out as nonbinary. I also compulsively confessed to my mom and told her I'm anxious I'll realize I'm a trans man and that I'm scared she'll hate me/abandon me. And she told me she would support me through it and my life even if she didn't understand it and that she wouldn't abandon me. I do like some masculine terms and I like he pronouns, I prefer they/them though. And I don't mind she, but I dont let people use it because I know they'll use it to misgender me. and that doesnt mean im a man. But I also don't know what I actually like/feel or what's OCD making me think I like/feel.. I can't stop ruminating and feeling like I need to label my gender pass nonbinary and think about if I feel like a man or not. So even when my biggest fear was denied I'm still anxious.

hi, this is a really embarrassing and personal thing to ask or you but i have severe contamination ocd and i just need to know what’s normal. -please don’t judge and be considerate i wasn’t taught this growing up how do you guys wash down there and wash your behind? i’ve been over washing and it’s hurting- i’m so tired of it —do you guys also wash your hands in the shower after washing these places?

Hey guys, I am having the worst HARM OCD episode I have had in a while. I am having disgusting, awful intrusive thoughts about harming others. It feels so real. It feels as if I am about to get up and just do it. The worst bit about it all Is I know I feel distressed and panicked. But where the thoughts are actually happening ( in my head) doesnt feel this feeling. This is making it feel worse as it really does feel like Im just going to do it. I am crying my eyes out because I know im petrified and dont want to hurt anyone im so scared. I have this terrible intrusive feeling in my that feels like its justifying the thoughts. Please can someone talk as I am scared Im crying I dont want know what to do I want this feeling gone I am so scared. I tell myself Id kill myself before hurting anyone else, but would i ? What if I actually do want to kill Please respond Im so scared

I went to a therapist, I told her about the doubts I was having related to my orientation and the continuous compulsion to check again and again and the thoughts. I told her about my resources -podcasts by Ali Greymond, Chrissie Hodges 's videos, and the books I read to overcome and control myself. She said a couple of things that confused me: 1> Her daughter once asked her "what if she liked girls?" As a mom my therapist said, "Start exploring", and the daughter said naahh. I wonder if the daughter had a thought or was it a chain of intrusive thoughts that plagued her day and night like in my case. 2> She said my sources are right, but I should forget that and not think that I have ocd. 3> She also said if there is any chance I am straight, I should walk on that path- because she has seen lesbians and gays have no feelings for the opposite sex. She said she could see that I was not gay or lesbian in any way. 4> She was interested in my education and masters degrees wasted a lot of time talking about that. 5> She said all these thoughts are causing me anxiety disorders (but I don't have ocd, doc?) 6> She pointed out that being happy and in the present removes these thoughts totally but I am causing myself unnecessary distress. I was doing well before this talk with the therapist now I am triggered a bit. Please share your thoughts.

I'm really not in a good place! The thoughts just keep coming! Even when I ignore them or agree with them & it's literally making me sick to my stomach!

I’ve been trying my best with ERP and just everything that’s going on. I have severe OCD, GAD, PMDD, panic disorder, recently diagnosed ADHD, and currently experiencing a major depressive episode. Apparently. I was taking a break from this app but I really need support right now. My family is honestly really mean and not understanding of what I’m going through. Right now it’s gotten bad to the point I had to withdrawal from my last semester of university. My only support is my boyfriend and he’s now planning to join the military. I won’t be able to talk to him for 3 months and I feel really scared of being alone with all of this. I know I shouldn’t depend on him to begin with but right now I’m at an extremely low point and I feel like I won’t make it alone. There hasn’t been a single day we haven’t texted and talked in 4 years. I feel really scared, but I don’t want to hold him back. You guys, I feel so sad and terrified right now. I don’t want him to go, he’s all I have.

It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.