Welcome to
the NOCD Community

My pocd and false memory ocd have been going wild, and now two people have triggered me today... i already want this day to be over...

About a year ago my son was sitting on my lap and everything was fine at first. He was sitting with his back towards like my chest and I tried avoiding any intrusive thought or feeling. But then I think I focused on it maybe but it became such an intense feeling and I remember going to move him forward away from my chest and as I did that I remember a pulse like feeling "down there" and I was so worried it was a "o" if you know what I mean. I'm so worried it could have been that or the start of one. I hate this. This one feels to real to let go. How can I let this go in case it was an "o"

everything about it scares me. it sounds painful, terrifying, traumatizing. I know it sounds dumb but every time i see something that remotely affects me sexually it sends me spiralling and i get this like white knuckled fear. im scared to hug people because what if it turns me on, especially if its a man because what if i accidentally turn HIM on and then he cant control himself and forces himself on me? I hate seeing my body especially my private areas now because im worried about turning myself on and touching myself and make myself feel even grosser, which then other people around me can tell ive done and then they KNOW how gross i am for doing that and start leaving me. i keep seeing other womens stories about sexual trauma and i relate to it but then i feel bad for relating to it because i havent actually been raped or molested so then i feel like a fraud taking other peoples stories and making it about me. everything about sex seems terrible but i keep thinking about it that it feels like my body is broken and i must secretly be some sort of degenerate freak.

That went worse than expected... He said I might not have OCD because of the fact I "dont perform physical compulsions" when A. I do, and B. He was looking up stuff from the DSM-5 in the middle of our session... He's recommending me for psych evaluation rn, but keeps saying stuff like "even if you dont have ocd" And is reassuring me too, which I thank secretly, but its bad... I genuinely feel horrible atm... genuinely getting real events OCD intrusive thoughts and of me being a horrible person because its combined with my pocd and hocd and harm ocd...

So POCD and false memory is something I’ve been surprised to find I’m finally getting on top of. I’m getting little thoughts from other themes now though. Today I’m trying to tell myself I’m going to be a heroin addict. I swore out loud at that one and I’m in public. Keep in truckin’ sufferinos.

Im a Catholic and therfore I have scrupulosity too. Im a man and I cant live with my thoughts regarding sexuality. I find women attractive and I know that is the most normal thing in the world but somehow I dont know when or if it becomes a sin. I cant even look properly around when I am in public because everywhere might be a possibility for sin. I know that I cannot prevent any coincidences but I want those feelings to stop. Is there anything I can do?

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

After the controversial and horrible person twomad passed away at 23, and people celebrating it, my ocd has been making me think about my entire life, including some bad stuff I did as a child... as a 22 year old (about to be the same age as him in July) currently, whose been trying to be good and kind to everybody for the last few years, I feel anxious and horrible about this situation and what my ocd says about me... it keep's telling me "you did bad things as a child, so your just as evil as twomad", and I genuinely feel just horrible and uncomfortable by these intrusive thoughts...

I’m stressing hard over one of my reoccurring ”false memories” (I hate calling it that because I don’t know if it’s false. The memory is so disturbing it always comes back to haunt me. For context, I used to be interested in watching really extreme horror movies. Like the ones on the Disturbing Movie Iceberg (not the bottom tier for obvious reasons). I have a horrible “memory” of possibly touching myself to a horrific scene in one of these movies (I’m unsure of which exact movie, 2 different ones come to mind). If this is real, I’m literally a monster. Even though the things depicted in these movies aren’t real, they are some of the absolute worst things I could have done that to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I’m supposed to hang out with friends tonight, but I feel like I need to hide myself away from them just in case this is real. Because nobody would want to be around somebody like that. I know watching those things in the first place is bad, but I can handle that. I can’t handle the possibility of me doing worse. Any advice on coping with something like this?

Hey guys, my obsessions revolves around taboo themes which include sexual intrusive thoughts about family members. One of my biggest triggers is caused by photos of family I have around my home. I feel that as soon as I see a family photo my mind tends to sexualize it. I still keep the photos up since I know hiding them will only make the ocd worse. I also try to sit with the anxiety/discomfort/uncertainty caused by the photos and not ruminate on it, not try to “figure it out”. How can I overcome this trigger? I feel like my mind is so conditioned to think of sexual content as soon as I see a family photo which can be a bit discouraging. I’m hoping that with time, and not responding to my trigger, my mind will slowly start to not sexualize these photos. Can someone please provide any advice?

I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... someone told me she sounded like a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our conversation... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

I was sleeping and i had a dream about a girl who is young and she was being touchy with me and it seemed like I liked it. And then i woke up and i felt so miserable and scared, like why would this be in my head and why would i appear to like it😔

The worst is when ocd latches on to your children. I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about my daughter that have me so depressed. I know none of it is true but the ocd really tries to convince me that it is. Any other parents experience this??

I studied at school Sigmund Freud. It was very triggering and disturbing. Sure his studies aren't all true? Like dreams being actually our unconscious desires? It's terrifying to apply this with pocd. That whenever we see a trigger and feel triggered we're actually being in denial because society doesn't allow it and we actually desire those ugly stuff.

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

I used to have an asbestos contamination obsession. It was pretty unhealthy. I learned how to identify the material and would go through bottle upon bottles of hand sanitizer to “protect” myself from likely nothing. Now my POCD, ROCD. and false memory ocd is making me hardly want to live. I called in twice this week and haven’t gone to classes at all. I’ve been in therapy through here for about 2 month but I’m getting worse. I get evaluated for meds next Friday and I’m having such a hard time thinking how far that really is. I haven’t left bed today. At least I was more functional with the asbestos theme. It was very annoying, but it was nothing like this

I saw someone on here say they dealt with POCD for only 3 months and they just got better…I’ve been dealing with the same theme every day for the past year now. What does that mean?

Does anyone get POCD thoughts that come up when you see things that are flat out wrong and disturbing to you when you aren't looking for those things. You look for one thing but results give you another and it's very awful and it triggers you. I don't want anything to do with those things that come up but they show up regardless and it really sucks. Then I worry that I'll be in trouble for it even though I made no intent to look at those results when I wanted to look at something else specifically