- Date posted
- 1y
How is the struggle this day? Here from Mexico listening some music and beating the fear. Iām afraid of all words, like is they were magical š stupid ocd
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How is the struggle this day? Here from Mexico listening some music and beating the fear. Iām afraid of all words, like is they were magical š stupid ocd
When my friend was 17, she passed away. She had a heart condition which lead her to a heart attack, and it was devastating for all of us. Once I turned 17, everything came back. It started with research. I was constantly checking what the first sense to go was when you die, or how common a heart attack is. But now, it's turned into my brain telling me that if I don't stay up until 4:30 in the morning, when having to wake up at 6:30, then I will die, my family will die, or everyone will die. Or, if I don't touch my computer the exact same way 3 times I will die. I am so sick of these thoughts and I guess I just want to know that I'm not alone.
Every night when I get home from work, I have this habit of touching the tree at the end of my street. Tonight I had an intrusive thought/ image of myself laughing at someone getting a serious health diagnosis. It caused my anxiety to increase as thatās so unlike me and I work in a hospital so Iām dealing with health problems on the daily and itās not funny. My brain basically was telling me I had to go and touch all these trees again to rectify the situation or I can no longer buy items I was wanting to buy (had my eye on a few things to get). I just keep going doing I circles, I know itās not logical but I canāt help it :(
Lately I have been struggling with binge eating in an odd way I havenāt experienced before. I have been eating a bunch more each night because āit could be my last mealā and Iām not sure how to break the cycle. Iām not hungry, but I force myself because my brain is telling me Iāll never get to experience that again. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?
Hi! Just got this app. I don't have an OCD diagnosis, but I have some traits, such as a constant obsession over a topic that causes me distress. Like, fears. It's been pedophilia, racism, global warming, death, secrets I've kept, suicide... Basically everything I don't like the idea of. Now, it's the obsession of my dad passing away. I've come to the realization that if my dad died right now - I'd have to move in with my mom, 2,000 miles away from home. Not only would I lose my district scholarship, which would ruin my plans of going to college, but the room at my mom's house would not be big enough to house all of my belongings, so I'd have to get rid of most my stuff. All of my dad's belongings (books, video games, clothes) wouldn't fit either. Not that my mom would be pleased with me showing up with all of my dad's stuff (they're divorced and not on speaking terms.) I try to counteract these thoughts with things like "dad is not under an active threat" or "even if dad died, I'd figure it out." But I'm still plagued with little jabs from my brain about it. Yesterday, my dad expressed his excitement for this year. He's gotten a new job, we're making more money, we're happy - having the last few years be ruined by my mom running away and other fun things along those lines; we deserve to be excited about this new opportunity. But then he said: "I think this year is gonna be our year." As his daughter, I should be thinking "yeah!" or "right on!", but the only thing that came to my mind was in season 4 of Stranger Things when Eddie Munson says "It's my year, '86, baby!" Before getting eaten by demobats in the upside down. This morning, while driving to school, my dad expressed his happiness about the VaultBoy bobblehead on the dash standing up (there's a magnet on the dashboard that helps him stand, and in our old car, it always fell over.) I just said normal things like "yeah, that's cool, I'm glad." But my mind told me "if dad died right now, would you have time to grab the bobblehead to keep to remember him?" which led to "if dad died right now, would you have time to say goodbye?" I try to push the thoughts away because I tell myself I'm gonna jinx it, and thinking about it manifests it. I try journaling and justifying why none of this would happen, but the thing is; if my dad died, I really would have to move in with my mom, wether I like it or not. I would lose my scholarship, wether I like it or not. Another thought process I have is: "I'd never expect it if my dad died, because in all the stories, it happens when you least expect it." It's like I'm playing a game with my brain, just waiting for the timing of circumstances to lead my dad to his death. I think about it - I manifest it, I don't think about it - it's gonna happen because I'm not prepared. How can I cope with this?
I keep seeing coupled numbers or angel numbers and having dejvu and in my mind when I get constant Deja Vu which in my mind means something bad is about ti happen I have had it 6 times today 3 in the last hour and I honestly feel like I'm going insane whether its Deja Vu of the numbers it causes me to question every action I make. If I see the numbers or get Deja Vu it dictates my day and I can't live this way anymore. Everyone I try and talk to doesn't understand and there is no way I can ever tell anyone about my violent intrusive thoughts the one time I did my mother called the police. Sorry for the run-on sentences and if it doesn't flow right I'm just really struggling right now and have been for a long time and I just want help I'm scared of my own mind. Thank you for whoever answers this post just one person would sadly make my day.
hello. i have been going through health scare obsessions for at least 5 years now and it terrifies me. i mainly fear of cancer. i have no reason to fear of cancer because it is not a predominant condition in my family. i have been to check ups for skin cancer and been told it was nothing which relieves me for a short period of time but then i start thinking of other cancer possibilities :( it doesnāt help that im a smoker to deal with the stress of adhd and ocd which just fuels the obsession of lung cancer. i know it would help my fear to stop smoking but thats easier said than done. i have only been a smoker for 3 years and its the only thing that helps right now. on top of this, my brain makes me believe that every intrusive thought i have WILL MANIFEST into existence just from thinking about it! this has scared me so much in the last 5 years and once i told my mum about it and she said "if you ever got cancer we would deal with it, its okay" but that didnt help it just made it worse and the possibility become more scarier! please help me.
iām so scared that my teacher knows about my OCD thoughts because once for therapy i had to write a diary and i did this on a school system stupidly which had documents that are private but can be flagged for mentions of suicide/self harm etc, but i didnāt write about that but what if what i did write about flagged up and she saw my thoughts also im annoyed because everytime i go in the bathroom at school i have to flick the light switch three times or i will fail my exams and if someone is in there i donāt do it but keep a count of how many overdue flicks of the light switch then go in the toilet when no one is in there and do it im also so stressed - what if its not ocd? thatās all i can think about at the moment
bruh I was sleeping & I suddenly am woken up by one of my cats. idk what was happening but she was making a weird howling noise. her tail was puffed up and she was either looking out the window or looking at my other cat. I told her to be quiet bc idk why she was making such a weird noise. thing is, I never heard her do that. then when I threw something on the floor (my bed is a loft), they both kinda flinched. I didnāt hurt them but just needed my girl to relax. they were both looking at each other & my girl was growling/howling at my other cat. idk why. like ik sometimes they fight but she was being weird. anyway, I had to use the bathroom so I did. the door to my room was open which meant they could get out if they wanted. they didnāt. they were by the window. very odd. came back up the bed & now my mind is frightening me. thoughts are racing, ranging from: thereās something/someone at the window, likely some shadow figure to my cats secretly being possessed by some mysterious entity. my mind goes wild & when Iām suddenly woken up, Iām still in that dream state. idk how to put it but my mind starts to believe things and I feel very vulnerable. literally itās night and everyone else in my household is asleep. these moments felt like nightmare fuel & any sudden noise triggered me. like I felt maybe my cats were going to stand on their legs and chant some shit idk. I wanna go back to sleep soon. I need my paranoid ass to calm down. at some point I started to get kinda freaked out just looking at my cats. ruhrjfjdsnnfnf I hate waking up suddenly at night T_T
Recently ive had ocd thoughts that are really weird and make no sense (they sound like thoughts that someone would have if they were in physcosis eg. What if trump can communicate with you through your head) like what??? Sometimes it feels like i believe it??? Which stresses me out and im constantly worried that im going through physcosis since i sort of belive it? I know deep down its ridiculous but it almost feels like i believe it?? Im scared. Like sometimes im calm with the thought. Im like oh okay maybe. Then sometimes my brain tries to imagine him like talking to me through my head??? Am i going through physcosis.??
I have a genuine fear of playing video games due to my magical thinking OCD. Itās driving me crazy. I get this overwhelming sense of anxiety when I play them. I have a correlation between video games and a health thing that started around the time I was playing video games a lot. Now I feel like every time I play a game itās gonna cause that problem to come back. Any suggestions on how to conquer this?
hi everyone. i'm terrified about my future with my spouse. we've been fighting a lot recently because they cheated on me on our wedding night... making out with someone else. this really really hurt me. they now want a break because they can't handle my severe anxiety about the situation. i know reading this you're probably like wow that's a real asshole right there and i deserve better. but truly i love my spouse and they're a great person. they're just triggered. i'm afraid the marriage triggered them. i'm afraid they're going to leave me. my ocd is telling me the more i really think about it my intuition is telling me that they will leave me and we won't work it out. and now i feel like im manifesting that on purpose. i'm freaking the fuck out and i feel so lonely and sad.
Hi all, Iām brand new to this app. Iāve never had any mental disorders. Iāve never been diagnosed or even suspected that I had some kind of issue going on. But recently my partner gently pointed out to me that Iāve developed some weird tendencies that are progressively getting worse. Iām getting overly anxious about the smallest of things. Every time he leaves for work, I stare at the tracker on my phone until he gets through his 25 minute commute because Iām convinced there will be a wreck. Iām terrified that someone is constantly taking pictures of me through my windows and even feel like people can see through my (solid) blinds at night. Every time I hear someone in the hallway of my apartment complex I stare out the peephole because Iām convinced theyāre going to break in, even if itās a neighbor that I recognize. I check myself for lumps in my body every morning and every night, and my partner too, even though neither of us have any scary medical history. I unplug everything with a cord every night before I go to bed because Iām terrified that something is faulty and my apartment will catch on fire. I am constantly afraid of being sued by people I donāt know even though the worst thing Iāve ever done is gotten a speeding ticket. I have dreams that people are sending me threatening mail and it stops me from opening my actual mail. There are so many more, I could go on forever. Writing it all down, I know itās stupid. I just donāt know if feeling this way is normal. There are people out there that have actual stressors and here I am working myself up a million times a day over nothing. Do normal people feel like this? I thought it was normal.
This happened multiple times, I see someone, I think of them something, and then they die after a while Im afraid that I might caused them evil eye or something For example once I saw this famous monkey on instagram and thought āwow is it still alive?ā Then it died days later and the owner was crying saying that the vets didnāt know what caused its death since it was fine ā¹ļø I immediately thought maybe it was because of me This happened to other people too, like celebrities or people I know them in my circle, I kinda feel responsible for it and Im afraid it might develop into deep guilt
I have been told that what I have is OCD, but sometimes I doubt it and scare myself and say what if itās not, what if itās actually a curse, what if I have to do what my brain wants me to do? Iām scared and I think my period is affecting me really bad.
Does anyone else deal with a psychic ability with OCD ? It comes to me in visions thoughts and voices and a lot of the times I am correct on them just curious if that's my OCD or not??
When I was a child, before I knew this was OCD, I struggled with constant "magical thinking" compulsions (don't step on the crack or mom's back will actually break, etc). When I later learned this was OCD, it almost immediately solved it. Any time I got a magical thought, I would say to myself "that's just an OCD thought. ignore it." and it just stopped coming! Like seriously it fixed the magical thinking stuff forever. But of course the OCD has resurfaced in other ways. So naturally, I've tried to use the same strategy since I had so much success with it previously. But I wonder sometimes if telling myself "that's just OCD" is almost functioning as a reassurance compulsion? I hate how meta this gets. For example, I have ROCD that comes and goes. So sometimes I'll get a thought like "what if i'm still in love with my ex?" and then I'll tell myself "that's obviously just an ROCD thought" and will feel relief, almost like reassurance. But it comes back. So is telling myself that it's OCD a reassurance compulsion ?? It's just so weird because it worked so perfectly as a kid with the magical thinking thing.
when im doing everyday stuff like brushing my teeth.when im finished i have to throw the toothbrush in the cabinet but i cant look at it after i thrown it i have to run away and my brain tells me if its in the right place and if it isnāt i have to go back and throw it again and again till i get it right which makes me late to lots of things especially school. i also have these quite triggering voices in my head all the time which say stuff like āif yu donāt throw this glass yu dad is going to die tomorrow and when i try to ignore the voices bad stuff happens and people die the only thing i can think of doing is ending my life to stop hurting others. itās like im a monster and idk what i should do.
Just found a necklace of mine that I used to wear so long ago 24/7, it was my favorite ever. It's so beautiful. But I've convinced myself it's bad luck because during the time I was wearing it, I was having a hard time with many things in life. So now I think that if I put this necklace back on, bad things are going to happen. I really missed this necklace, but can't get myself to put it back on because I don't want to risk it. I hate this.
Have you ever felt the need to hide knives because youāre scared someone might hurt you while youāre sleeping? Or have your thoughts ever tried to convince you that you have feelings for your family members? Maybe you feel like you need to tell your parents to ādrive safeā every time they go somewhere, believing that it will prevent them from crashing, or that something bad will happen if you donāt. These are things Iāve experienced, but they didnāt last long, and because of that, Iām unsure if I actually have OCD, as these thoughts donāt happen frequently. Iām 17, so maybe itās still developing, but Iām not sure. At one point, I even thought I might be a psychopath and would become a serial killer (i was analyzing my past and feelings but it went away quickly) When I was a kid, I was also scared I had a tumor and constantly needed reassurance from my parents that everything is okay, but it wasnāt as intense. Recently, Iāve been scared that ghosts would come or that a demon would possess me, or that if i open my eyes i will se my dead uncle (i was 16š) which kept me from sleeping. Are these signs of OCD? Should I consider getting treatment? About three months ago, I had my first big obsession about possibly having OCD itself (i was scared of going crazy, of feeling like this forever, of not being perfect, of not having control), and now Iāve been struggling with HOCD for three months. But Iām scared that I donāt even have OCD, and that these thoughts might be true. Itās funny because just a few months ago, I was terrified of having OCD, but now I feel like I want to have it. I think a traumatic experience with weed might have made my OCD worse, but Iām not sure. What do you think? I also found out that my mom is also hiding knifes and that she was also obsession over sicknessā¦
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