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HELP I THINK I MIGHT HAVE KILLED SOMEONE . When I was 8, I either picked on a boy or bullied him , I’m not sure which one. I was watching a video about a girl who hung herself over being bullied . So that reminded me of this . I know I made fun of the kid for being fat , but I CANNOT remember the intensity , whether I genuinely meant to hurt him or just was a kid teasing and annoying someone. . There’s no point in trying to recall cuz I’ll just make false memories . I know for sure that the kid cried to his parents and then at a parent teacher convention they told my parents I was being mean . I can’t remember if I stopped after that . My mom laughs at the incident, and was like “omg you’re face that day was so funny “ . So that makes me think it was probably mild . Besides if I bullied someone to death , I’d remember how abusive I was right ? I had a reputation for teasing kids , but I know I teased him more than I usually teased people . I can’t remember what my intentions were . I don’t know what ERP to do , or if I’m a fucking murderer . To make matters worse I went on Reddit , where people were remorseful over being former bullies and talked about how guilty they felt . I completely forgot about the incident . Now I feel like a disgusting evil murderer

I don’t think I could do this. It’s to hard. 😭

i was having this with a mate about crime and it got to the point saying that men are disgusting (not all of them. i don’t mean this to offend anyone) and it’s made me think that i now hate all men. like i see a man and i’m like “if you dated him he would hit you”

I'm worrying that my ocd hasn't been as severe recently. The anxiety and thoughts have decreased and I'm not obsessing as much. I think this is because of medication and learning tactics to fight ocd effectively. But as I said I'm worrying that my ocd isn't as severe and I fear I don't have ocd at all despite diagnosis. Anybody else experience this?

Girls only please! So I’m talking to a new guy and we’ve hit it off pretty good we have a lot of in common as well as beliefs etc.. And he talked about how he supports lgbt community because he has a cousin that is gay and idk I thought that was going to freak me out because of my hocd but it made me feel like less worried like I’d not be judged by him. We have had some deeps talks already and he told me he feels like he can be himself around me and I told him how I’m very intrigued with psychology etc. But I feel like with all the guys I’ve been I’ll be able to tell him about what’s been going on with me, but I still have these thoughts of if I tell him he’s just going to think I’m bi and in denial like I fear being rejected. Like there’s some days where I think what if it’s not hocd and I’m just in denial? Like this makes dating for me so hard I hate it. I start therapy on here next week but I feel like it’s not going to work on me because what if I’m just in denial. But going back to the guy he told me that he can see himself with me which made me happy but then I feel like I’ll be burden which is another reason why dating for me is hard. One thing that makes me so upset is that I actually had my first boyfriend after I had a what if I’m gay thought so I feel like it ruined my experience and also guys didn’t start noticing be after this happened to me like why?? Hopefully someone on here can relate?:/

I just worry I’m not feminine enough or I lack ‘what it means to be a woman’. And I also feel like I don’t seek female companionships enough which makes me feel so bad. Like I guess it’s easier to be around guys because I don’t have to compare myself to anyone (bad trait) but I WANT to built strong bonds with other women. I don’t know what all this means but honestly it gets me down.

I wish i could go back in time and change my past. Remove all my mistakes. My life would be perfect right now

Somatic OCD- It doesn't get mentioned much on here, but The OCD Stories' latest episode discusses it with Dr. Steven Phillipson ☺!

i slept terribly and now i’m anxious. can someone help calm me down?

I'm trying to do something to distract me from a thought I don't want. I'm having intrusive thoughts that what I'm thinking isn't an intrusive thoughts cus I'm not stressing over it enough, it's really weird, just feels nice to say out there. Currently hiding from my brain through pokemon.

I need help with something. I have severe OCD. To the point where I will start at 7AM and won't stop until I go to bed. I have a fear of the number 6. Also, I get the word "devil" and "God" stuck in my head. It is intervals of 9 and at 6PM I started a habit where I have to say "devil" and "God" over. But the main one is saying "God" over a bunch of times until it feels just right. I'm scared of stopping my habits at anything with the number 6 because that will really be the day I stop the 6th? If that makes sense. In all honestly I know nothing bad is going to happen and I know I will be fine, but it still gets stuck. I am interested in exposure therapy. So with that being said...would people think it would be better to stop at the number 6 so that way the fear will go away or should I try to stop around 7 or 8? What would be the most helpful?

I’m very grateful I have such an amazing mum, but she really clearly doesn’t understand OCD. Today, she said that we don’t need labels, and that everybody has a little bit of OCD, then said it was only important to label it if it was BAD (she doesn’t have OCD), and then in the same conversation she said she’s shocked I’m having any problems dealing with my OCD because I’m smart... she also bought a book to help me deal with it (it’s actually a pretty good book so far) and she claimed she read part of it, but later in the day had the conversation I just mentioned. I’m so fed up of her not understanding, whenever I try to explain it she pulls the “I’m older therefore wiser” card and is basically refusing to learn about it. It’s a bigger deal for me than she thinks and she needs to point out every little compulsion I do, like I don’t understand that I’m doing them, even though I’M the one who suffers with anxiety after not doing a compulsion, I’M the one struggling, she acts like an expert and tells me that I’m not trying hard enough

I don’t want to get too reglious but a quick question. Like ima teen and hella scared of teen pregnancy and never will have sex in high school because I don’t want to have a baby. but like Vigrin Mary she never had sex like me but got pregnant is that possible for me as well? Should I be worry about being a virgin that can get pregnant I’m scared

So you think it might be a good idea to stay away from social media during PMS? I noticed that it's much more likely that I get sucked into obsessing or rumination right before and during the first days of my period. And social media can be a major trigger during this time. I already deinstalled the Instagram app and only go there via my browser because then I spend less time there and it's been doing me a great deal of good. But I am not sure if this is avoidance. I don't mean to avoid ALL triggers because that is impossible and I am going to accept and sit with the rising thoughts and anxiety during that time but social media is nothing I need to succeed in my daily life and I wonder it might be good to detox for a few days each month when I know that those will be harder anyway and maybe it could help me to get through them more smoothly

Do any of you spend way too much time on your phone? I spend so much time on Instagram scrolling. And some of it is good but it is just too much and it makes me feel not good enough. And obsessing over whether one can have a good life without a popular account on social media. I don't know if the scrolling is compulsive, but I often want to stop and keep doing it still. It feels like it gets in the way of my normal functioning and being out there living my life. I also spend a lot of time figuring out what other people spend their time with. And feeling like whatever I'm doing is not good enough. Don't know if this is obsessive compulsive? It feels like I have to do it, figure it out so I don't know if it's not OCD and something I should contemplate as my life really isn't that good or it's just OCD tricking me again. Often the SoMe is avoidance so I won't have to do things and and be triggered I guess. I just wanted to chat with others who have the same problem with too much scrolling without it giving them something back? What have you done to help yourself stop etc. Feeling low. Hope to hear from someone struggling with the same thing. ❤

Yeah man I hate hocd. I should be able to talk to dudes like normal now smh. I hate my ocd that involves stupid thoughts with women smfh. I understand my hocd cause the second part but still it sucks. I wish I had a job. I wish I had a gf so I wouldn’t be doing stupid shit anymore. I wish I could have a life worth living. Even if I didn’t have a gf I would still want to feel comfortable around a girl and talk to a dude like normal then to feel the dumbass arousal feelings that go no where. I understand it’s ocd but I still need a therapist to tell me it’s ocd just cuz if I tell myself it’s not enough smh. Like I know how I was before but it still sucks. I don’t want to become a drunk but I will if I have to make my point across that I’m not right. At least it will get me out the fuckin house and into some facility. I want to be ok. I want to feel normal again. I want to feel normal around my family again. I want to be able to talk to people like normal again. I want to be a ale to have the choice to ask a girl for her number. I want to be normal again and that’s it. Like I never felt all this shit before. Never. Idk why I have to suffer for my mistakes. Idk why I have to suffer all cuz I let my cockiness get the best of me. I know I’m arrogant and obviously ocd is the opposite of this but how can I be cocky again if I have soocd since people cry about using hocd smh? I’m just really tired of this shit. Like I had guy friends all my life. Have I had instances of hocd yes but I didn’t dwell on them or think I was gay. I didn’t go back and fantasize about some gay guy after seeing one. I’ve never jacked off to this day of any sexual gay thoughts cuz it just doesn’t get me hard only time it does is if I get scared of it not if I’m like alright let’s go then like I just don’t understand this shit. All these stupid thoughts that appear for women now smfh. It’s been like that for a little more than 2 yrs now and I’m like htf did this happen smfh. Like I get me liking a chick depression comes after which is my ROCD cuz of being hurt and feeling like why does it matter I’m not exactly what they’re looking for or they aren’t exactly what I’m looking for so why bother or so what I like a chick I still feel uncomfortable around a dude smfh. I just really hate my life. Idk when or how I’m going to start living a good life. Like I can literally show a new therapist all of my symptoms only reason why I can’t show my old therapist is cuz she doesn’t want to see it or let it change her mind so I’m ok with that then let me find someone else then who can see everything of what I’m going through cuz I can see everything in my head of what repeating or accidentally coming out of my mouth when I see something or if I try to do little anxiety relief exercises like I see everything and I just want a therapist who can see it too.

Anyone who is currently suffering from real even ocd or harm ocd I want you to know that someones trauma is not yours even if you bullied someone, punched someone, etc. What they do with their life after you has nothing to do with you. You have no control over what they do. And from someone who suffers from trauma I do not blame the person who did harm to me because us as humans create our own trauma we either allow our trauma to cripple us or we use our trauma to make us strong. So whenever you find yourself feeling terrible and wanting to end it over what your ocd is making you feel understand that it is a irational belief because you can not control how someone reacts. Just like you chose whether to react over what someone says to you. It is nobodies fault for the way you react or live your life it is up to you.

My theme is getting to a point where it feels extremely intense and like it’s screaming at me to do something about it, like it’s constantly nagging at me. Anyone have any advice? I’m really scared because I don’t want this to take over me. (I have self harm OCD) I just started medicine but I’m worried that won’t help either.

My HOCD is really bothering me. Feeing like I am deceiving my girlfriend if this is true. I don’t want to hurt her and ruin her life if I’m gay. ERP doesn’t work for me and neither does 200 mg of Zoloft.

Does anyone here obsess over whether their relationship is healthy or unhealthy? I’ve been with my now husband since I was 19 and he was 21, so we’ve been together 15 years. Both him and I did not have great examples of healthy relationships growing up so we engaged in some toxic behaviors. I feel like we have grown and become better people and we love and respect each other. Anyways I ruminate about the unhealthy stuff we have done and wonder if that means we have to split up. Then that leads to me thinking that I stayed in my relationship out of fear. I know I love my husband but all these questions make me so anxious. I don’t want to divorce him I love him, but then I think that maybe I love him too much. What if I love him so much that I can never leave? What if one day he does something terrible, but because I love him I won’t leave? All these questions just keep coming and they don’t stop. He is a great person so I don’t see this happening, but it is a fear I have.