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im so desensitized that i'm doubting this ocd

Get ye propranolol! It's boss for OCD. Common and safe anti-anxiety, I have no doubt your primary care physicians would be happy to give you a prescription. Confidence: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2133500-drug-that-boosts-confidence-in-your-own-actions-may-help-ocd/ - I remember locking the door, and I feel confident about the memory - I attended an interview, and I feel confident in my own positive assessment of how well I did. I don't feel that I need to analyse whether I'm correct or not - I know I made a mistake on the test, and I feel confident about both that I did put the answer I believe I put, and that the answer I put was incorrect Information gathering: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6083454/ - I have a sore throat so I googled and concluded in 5 minutes that my symptoms are the same as strep. I feel pretty confident about this and don't feel that I need to do any more googling 'in case' it's something else/scary - my therapist told me that it's common after experiencing abuse to feel guilty/responsible/like you're unfairly making it into something it's not. I know that she is a professional and I have confidence in her statements. I don't feel a need to Google it - I know that it's unlikely that I did anything inappropriate at the bar last night, so I don't really feel like I need to memory-check about the entire evening or test how people feel about me to try to get clues - I recognise that I have the compulsive symptoms which characterise HOCD or POCD. I find it easier to accept this diagnosis, and feel less inclined to do more research to find out whether there is some way I might be an exception to the rule, or to ask other people what they think, or to seek reassurance that other people share my symptoms - I know it's very unlikely that whoever stole my phone can get past the encryption, I don't really feel the need to research whether there's some way that they could And the grand finale... fear extinction: https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/191908/anxiety-disorders/single-dose-propranolol-tied-selective-erasure-anxiety People with a phobia/OCD (or a memory which causes a strong emotional reaction, as with PTSD and real event OCD), expose themselves to a huge trigger- reactivating the bad memory, or scripting, or any other exposure. The exposure should be brief (a couple of minutes). They then take 40mg propranolol (oral), and go home. They *sleep*. The next day, the same triggers (the stuff in the script, or the memory, or the exposure) no longer cause any strong emotional response. The effect lasts at least 1 year. This is done with fear in the study, but works with anything else: guilt, anger, distress, etc. Your actual memory is left exactly the same as it was before, the only thing to change is your strong emotional responses to it, replaced with calm. The more more jolting the experience of NOT having your normal expected reaction to the memory is when it is first re-triggered to see if the process worked, the more permanent the effect is. Doing this to work up through the entire hierarchy could allow your brain to actually learn, in terms of FEELING not just knowing, that it's all ok. Serious implications for real event OCD and rumination in pure O, likely for everything else too. We don't always realise it, but it's always the EMOTIONS associated with our thoughts which disturb us and cause us to feel the need to resist and assert against them. If the intrusive thoughts, or the memory of your current worry theme, were to appear sometimes but never cause any actual unpleasant or upsetting emotions for you, it would become vastly easier to decide to not do compulsions in each moment, and it nukes the obsession. Even if you're quite neurotic and you wonder whether you should analyse to see if your lack of response means you're some kind of a psychopath or have damaged your brain or that you now have nothing to stop you from acting on the thoughts, that reactionary OCD theme can *also* be treated with the propranolol protocol. Once those things no longer freak you out either, that's it- no more feedback loops. You're free to just live by your values of e.g. not stabbing anyone- values which you retained 100% through the treatment. You're left with all of those thing that you usually use against your OCD when you're triggered, you feel more confident about them, and nothing which pops up to oppose them actually feels convincing. It may even feel safe to stop scanning for new themes. However- I DO NOT recommend anyone attempt this one without medical supervision, as the dose is a little higher and it's not fully proven for OCD/hierarchy systems, only for phobias.

Anyone else knows this feeling when you are getting better and start to do things in life again and get a glimpse of normality back and then OCD hits you with "you don't deserve this" "you forgot that you did a bad thing" "you can't go on without having it figured out"...? I don't want you guys to tell me what I should do, I know I should accept those thoughts and continue. Is it reassurance seeking if I would like to have some support on this? ?

When I was a kid I would get physically and emotionally abuse by my sister after school. I'm 20 years just told my mom accidentally and I can tell she doesn't believe me. I'm now realized how much it really affected me. That same little girl who was scared back then is the same voice as my OCD... Its like my brain forgot a lot of the memories that happened during the abuse. But I can tell you the address to the apartment each room were it was . the apartment was like a maze. I can tell you where the kitchen was and how it looked. I remember the kitchen because the front door was there I ran to it a lot but didn't seem to make it. But somehow I keep thinking and feeIing I was just too sensitive and it really wasn't that bad. I'm being over dramatic and I feel guilty and God doesn't want me to talk about it and he's mad at me for mentioning it. I just don't understand. I feel so broken and conflicted...

Please someone recommend something to read or watch to help me tackle my intrusive thoughts..

It’s been over a month since I’ve stopped listening to secular music. For a month I have only been listening to Christian music and I love it:) I don’t have to worry about if the song I’m listening to is alright or not. Sometimes it’s kind of annoying because I could be pissed and plug in my headphones to block out my family and I’m hit with “glory hallelujah ~~” ?lol I encourage you all to try something new. It could be listening to a new music genre or just a new diet. :)

Let me start by saying I am not looking for reassurance or anything but just a general question about my intrusive thoughts. So apparently my mind is scared shitless of suicide and it’s triggered that I am suicidal - that is the root of my intrusive thought (fear of being suicidal) so I get random thoughts during the day that say “just kill yourself” or when I look into the future I get “you will be dead anyway because your suicidal” sort of thoughts that cause a crap ton of distress. I have no problem handling things though like sharp knives.. or anything dangerous etc so erp is a little hard for mean when I see harm ocd it’s always about harming someone else.. is this the same classification? I know they’re intrusive thoughts cause they give me so much much anxiety but since I have no issues with dangerous items is this the same? And any strategies to handle this? I don’t know how I can have the same damn thoughts allllll day everyday and not get sick of them yet when they cause so much anxiety lol

Hey, I would like to apologise before I begin as it's my second post for today and I'm afraid I'm being too much to handle in such a short time. Anyway, I've had this question/doubt at the back of my mind for a very long time, but because there were other things to worry about I just didn't pay (enough) attention to it and tried to let it be. However, because today it felt like I thought about my thoughts on purpose and wanted to think about them, the doubt became stronger. The doubt is whether I'm truly struggling with a mental illness or I'm just a weirdo. I've seen before that other people struggle with this too, but I've noticed certain features in my case that could prove the fact that I'm just a really terrible human being, who has been creating stuff in her head from the beginning. Here are some of the main ones: 1. First and the most important: the fact that I can allow myself to think of the thoughts on purpose. They are what I fear the most - why on earth would I want to do such a thing?! It's inexplicable, I don't desire it but it still happens. Weird... 2. I've barely shown symptoms of physical anxiety since all this mess started. I know this may sound weird but the majority of people with OCD that I've met/talked to have had physical/physiological symptoms of anxiety. All I'm experiencing is just a few of them, and they are mild and mainly happening in my brain (e.g. all or nothing thinking, second guessing, wanting reasurrance). This makes me doubts big time! On a side note, I struggle with social anxiety and there I can see a lot of physiological symptoms all the time. To me that shows that I indeed have social anxiety. But with OCD is totally different. 3. It seems that OCD doesn't affect me the way it affects other people. Again, weird but it feels like people struggle much more than I do. I'm not saying that I want to struggle more but something doesn't add up. To conclude, it feels like I'm an outsider and I should have not being diagnosed with OCD as I don't meet numerous criteria. I know that my therapists are great professionals and I'm not trying to offend them by saying that they gave me a wrong diagnosis, but I feel like I belong in a prison rather than being free thinking that my brain works in a different way (than the average brain) and that I feel and think the way I do because of it. Okay. I'll stop now. I'm sorry as this turned out to be a really long post. I'm sorry if I've said something stupid and/or irrelevant but these are my current thoughts and I really wanted to share them with you. Thank you so much for reading this!

So today I’ve actually been really sarcastic w my intrusive thoughts and I’ve noticed that it’s helped my mood and and I no longer feel depressed or guilty like I normally do. But now I’m scared that I shouldn’t be funny ab it and that somehow something bads gonna happen now that Idc and I’ve stopped agonizing. Does anyone know why OCD does this or how I can stop feeling like somehow I’m “ok” w being a bad person just bc I’m not scared of it like I used to be?

Uhhh is it possible to be aroused by someone while having no desire to actually have sex with them or not even like their body? Fuck me because I get physically turned on by guys even though I can't imagine sex with them not being traumatic and only want it when I'm extremely mentally unwell as a form of self harm and punishment...

Would a child still like me (seh really likes me even after all these years) if I had touched her inappropriately??? (this is a false memory) My therapist once asked me if I felt arousal that day and I said that no, I didn't remember There were 2 witnessee there but what if I left them at some point to hurt the child? I never touched anyone inappropriately and I was always very strict about peoples privacy but I'm afraid that I changed suddenly because I had started masturb- I feel like a monster...

I'm really upset because my aunt sent me a tiktok video on whatsapp which I found really innapropriate and I deleted it immediately. But i keep having intrusive thoughts that it's still somewhere on my device and I'll get into trouble for it! She didn't think it was innapropriate, but I found it innapropriate:( she sent it to lots of people including my mum, but still, idk intrusive thoughts are taking hold :( Obv I cannot control what I get sent from other people, and I guess that's the same for everyone but I just feel disturbed.

!!!!!PLEASE RESPOND!!!! TW FOR HOCD!!!!*** So I know theres truth to my theme. I know I have a sexual response to girls. I don't like it makes me anxious and upset, BUT I also experience extreme OCD symptoms at the same time. I feel like I have to solve everything in one day, and break up with my boyfriend, it constantly makes me think that I shouldn't be in my relationship anymore. I'm upset and scared by the fact that I no longer find boys attractive or don't right now, or when I think I do I get worried that it's just aesthetic attraction which I think is true. I feel like at this point I should try being with a girl, but it makes me so stressed out and upset that I can't, it makes me miss my boyfriend when I think about it even if he's right next to me. I'm so contradicted. I left my boyfriends house today where I've been living because I felt terrible and went back to my parent's but now I'm just crying and I can't stop. I'm sad that I want to be with a girl now, but I do. Please help. I cant lie anymore. I'm horrified by the idea of lying which I've realize has also been taken over by OCD. My biggest fear is that I'm going to make a big decision before I get help for OCD and then realize that all of this was OCD and not reality. I'm not equipt to handle any of these things. I dont know what to do so I've been blocking everything. Or maybe I have the fear that I'm blocking something and I'm not really? I'm scared that I'm lying about all of this.

Hey everyone!Im new to this app.I dont really know if I have OCD.My intrusive thoughts r driving me mad.I cant handle them anymore.The problem is that sometimes my thoughts turn into beliefs.Is like a part of me refuses to believe them and another part keeps believing them even tho I know they r not true.I dont know if these are false sensations or if the thoughts define me as a person.I dont want to be a bad person,I dont want to think anymore,I dont want to create false believs,i just want to be normal again.Im done with this.Its like u dont want to be gay,but ur mind creates the belief that u r gay and then u kinda feel the attraction towards the same gender.I dont know if this is a false attraction,i dont know who i am anymore.Its like is hitting me by making me be the person I dont want to be.Is there anyone else feeling like this?Please I just want an advice cause sometimes the only thing that comes to my mind is suicide.My parents do not understand me.Im exhausted...

*something i wrote a few days ago.* it is no secret that anxiety has run my life. there was a time where i didn’t worry my parents were going to die today, that i wasn’t going to make it past 22, that the assignments i handed in were completely plagirised even though i knew they weren’t, that the children i babysat weren’t breathing when i would put them down to sleep, that i was cheating on my boyfriend and blocked out everything i did or that he was going to get into a car crash and die, that i was going to jail for something...i worried so much over everything it made me physically ill to the point i couldn’t eat and lost 10 pounds. everyone would tell me i looked wonderful because weight was shed, but they never knew or asked how. i wasn’t sleeping because my dreams would reflect my fears or anytime i tried to fall asleep and heard my dad make a loud thump in the other room i’d have to get up to check if he was alive. the uncertainty and what if’s drove me insane. the doubt made me sick. i’ve been in therapy for 2.5 years for grief work when i told her what was going on, she told me i was displaying characteristics of someone with ocd. “ocd?” i said. “i don’t have compulsions. im not scared of germs or clean everything.” then she explained to me how that is a common misconception. i have ocd because i get an obsessive thought, like my father dying, and the compulsion is to check on him. if i didn’t check on him, my brain would come up with 100 different scenarios of what happened so the compulsion to check is to make sure everything is ok and safe. its a disorder because it disrupts my daily life. when she said that it all made sense. we then went over my other fears. fear of cheating? i checked every social media app, every message, every memory to make sure it didn’t happen. fear of plagirism? i’d check my assignments over and over to make sure they were all original thoughts. i’d put them into many different plagirism checkers to reassure myself. fear i was going to die? constantly check google for symptoms of different health related issues. ive made countless doctors appointments to make sure there was nothing wrong. i was a compulsive checker. constantly checking on everything. if i didnt check or reassure myself the knot in my throat would grow bigger and bigger. if i did check, itd go away for a little bit and i felt relieved. this is how ocd works. its a monster.

I've seen people saying there are no good or bad people just people who do bad or good things, but what about psychos or killers? there is no way they are good. This is causing me a lot of anxiety

What medicines are y’all on? What are some of your side effects?

i’m sorry for saying this. big trigger warning. but i have a huge compulsion to confess this. i had thoughts about my father, i used to think about him in a disturbing way. but i know i would never actually do anything with him. i don’t even find him attractive. i 100% know this. i don’t know why i ever thought like that. it’s just the guilt that’s killing me. i don’t even want to exist just thinking about it. does anyone have any tips? or advice..? or anything. i feel so helpless and distraught.

i’m curious. what are some of your interests?

A false memorie can jump like an intrusive thoughts and instantly believe it? Im afraid if im suffering of real event ocd or false memorie ocd and i do not this lool really detailed.