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WARNING: POCD I need to know your thoughts... I'm panicking and feeling horrible This is probably one of the first events that made me wonder if I was a "p". (I'm female, 20s) Two years ago, in the summer, I went to a friend's house and I met her younger sister (8, at the time). She was very sweet and adorable and I liked her so much! She showed me her toys and she was always around me... I feared I was feeling some sort of attraction to her... And now that I am recalling the event, I'm getting so afraid that this attraction was, in fact, real. I'm on the verge of tears right now ... Because it was so strong... Believe me, this felt like attraction. I'm thinking about her as I'm writing this and I'm remembering the warm feeling I experienced (like I was developing a crush) - I just want to cry because I don't want to be a "p". I spent the whole day in panic and wondering If I was "p" and if I was attracted to her. I tried to dismiss the thoughts and enjoy the day. I've always wanted a little sister and one day (at that time), I wanted to have a daughter someday. I've played with her and talked with her. Later that day, we went to the pool and I played with her again and even gave her piggyback rides (which now, I know it was a mistake - because I am getting flawed (false) memories that I touched her butt but I'm almost sure that I only touched her legs when giving the piggyback rides but I'm afraid that I touched her butt on purpose too to be deviant! I feel like I would be capable of doing such a awful thing). I remember enjoying her company and wanting to be more time with her... But now I'm so scared that I had bad intentions, because "p" people want to be around children. I feel like there was more than "having a child/sister for a day" because of my strong feelings for this girl. I regreted this whole dayAnd when I went back to her house, I avoided the child at all costs. What do I do?? I feel so hopeless... I am crying like crazy, not knowing what to do. I feel like a "p". I am so scared that I was attracted to her and now I have this new false memory that scares me... Please help me... I'm in despair..This particular story weights on me. I'm reviewing it over and over (taking the false memory off) and I don't think I did anything wrong BUT I cant help but to feel uncertain about it... Even if I didnt do anything wrong, I still feel bad for not avoiding it. I felt like a "p" the whole day... I had these intrusive thoughts the whole day... Yet, I wanted to be near the child and play with her?? I was trying to dismiss my thoughts - I tried to fight them! but I can't help to feel that what I did was predatory! Or wrong! I have been crying so much about this subject... I have high morals... And everytime an adult plays with a child is usually a "p" or a predator... I am so afraid that my "desire" to be with this child was an indicator that I'm a p or a bad person in general. Please... I want to know your opinions (I also have another question. I also felt "dirty" all day. Are all of these symptoms normal in ocd? Do people with ocd can like being with children? Are even these questions making sense?) I can't help to reinforce this! I felt terrible afterwards - I regret it so much... I felt dirty during that event, after that event and even today! This was my first time (or one of the first times) dealing with with pocd... I thought it was my brain trying to get me... So I tried to fight it! But... I feel like shit for not avoiding her... I'm so afraid I actually felt attraction for her because it was so strong the affection I experienced for her... I feel like a p... I'm so done...

I thought the key of overcoming ocd was to be less anxious but me being less anxious makes me upset because it makes me feel like I want to be gay I don’t know why this is happening to me. Some of my friends are in serious relationships while others are in situationshipsnand I’m just alone and depressed and lost a year ago i was the happiest man on earth and now I’m just fucked up Curse this fucking illness and curse me for having it I feel like I’m the cause of this I don’t know how but maybe I caused this

It feels like I want to be a fucking lesbian. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT. I’m so ANGRY

does anyone understand ocd tics and can explain

hey guys, haven’t been on here in a while because i had been doing really well with my hocd. but my attraction has still been gone. the physical attraction part has came back but then i would see guys i thought were cute and i realized i wouldn’t date them. i don’t know any of them so i guess that makes sense but it freaked me out and i kept obsessing over it. so i started analyzing it in my head and i was like omg what if i’m asexual. before hocd all i wanted was a boyfriend. and now i haven’t had feelings for anyone and i used to always catch feelings for my guy friends. and now, ik this sounds bad but now i like flirting with them or when they flirt with me but i wouldn’t date any of them bc i don’t have real feelings. this freaked me out and made me wonder if i’m asexual and i can’t stop obsessing about it now. i’m young and have never had a bf bc i’m overweight so i’m not the girl any of the guys want. and i think time having had never had a bf so i don’t know what it’s like, but i can’t picture myself in a relationship anytime soon. anyways, just wanted to come on here and vent and wonder if any of you have gone through the same thing. i know this was long but if you read it this far, thank you so much.

I need an answer to this please: does your ocd change? I have obsessive thoughts over something for months (sometimes years) then it changes to something else & the other thing doesn’t bother me anymore. For example, I used to have relationship OCD for years and years (probably 5 years) I’m still with the person but now I have a different ocd completely, I’m scared that I have no real close friends which I kind of don’t but everything reminds me of it and I have triggers and everything :( I hate myself, I’m also pregnant atm and it’s made me so much worse

I did my first therapy session yesterday and most of it was getting to know me but she gave me a really good tip to start with that I wanted to share. This is what is happening Thought: what if it’s not clean. There may be partials (germs or direct etc) I can’t see that will get on me if I touch that. If I touch it it makes me feel yuck, I don’t want the partials in me. Anxiety: starts to happen Compulsion: clean the area and get relief She said that the anxiety and compulsion will keep on going around in circles and will never go away if I don’t fix the thought process at the top. This is what she wants me to do. To just Recognize what is actually happening (as above) when I get the thought. Remember that I have OCD and some things I’m doing are rational (like washing my hands after I touch meat) and some things I’m doing are not rational (like wiping the door Handels multiple times a day because I “may” have touched it when my hands were not perfectly clean. Exercise: every time I wash my hands I have been washing them 3 times every time. Unless I’m touching something really dirty or like meat that requires you to wash that much washing 3 times is my OCD then washing once is enough. From now on she wants me to recognize that when I wash them once that is it’s fine. When I automatically go to wash them the second time remember the second time is the OCD, the second time is not necessary and even if i ended up washing them the 2nd time I need to tell my self that the second time was the OCD and try to resist it. I need to recognize what is rational and was is not rational and what is my OCD. Even if I’m not resisting right away just to recognize it starts to re train your brain and thought patterns.

Guys with hocd. Whats it like when you see an attractive male?

I suffer from POCD... It sucks and lately I have been suffering from a memory where I might have proceeded wrongly with a child. I hate myself and I want to kill myself.

I feel like I’m just gay. Omg how can I change so much I feel sad thinking about girls that way but I can’t think about guys without almost feelings MORE anxiety than girls. I don’t like the thoughts I want them gone. I want my attraction back towards boys. I wanna be able to crush on them without having tons of anxiety. I hate this:(

Hey, I just got here! And this is crazy, but you know all my problems, so talk to me maybe? ? I’m always worried my partner loves me too much or that I love him too much. I don’t want anyone being hurt in the long run by how unequal we’ve been. When it’s him, I want to break off the relationship now before I make it worse. When it’s me, I want to break it off now because I must be so pathetic. I have such a bad fear of my partner cheating that I’ve started telling myself that I already know he is — just so I won’t compulsively watch him text, check his phone while he showers, stalk his social media, question all his friendships, etc. I’m so shocked to be finding out this is something a whole group of people experiences! It used to make feel physically ill; I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep or eat for days at a time. The *only* possible relief for me was breaking off my relationship and also all contact. Once the thought has entered my brain, there’s no backing down from it. I have to end it, or else that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach stays forever. I guess that’s a form of compulsion? Maybe? It first happened when I was 16 and had my first boyfriend. I didn’t love him, but he was in love with me. I felt guilty, and he became annoying. One morning, I woke up to the instant and insistent thought that I must break up with him. All day, I was physically nauseated thinking about my boyfriend. That afternoon, I did it, and I honestly cried tears of relief - not from the end of the relationship but in response to not feeling that way any longer! So it began...

Any insomnia buddies out there tonight. Dealing with relationship OCD?

My ocd lately is mostly internal, I’ve been reading about ocd and how people confuse pure o with mental compulsions meaning the person still has ocd but because they don’t have to do any physical compulsions they’re not diagnosed with ocd. Rn I’m dealing with a fear of everything I watch/read, I’m scared that they are bad or of poor quality or don’t have three dimensional characters... stuff like that so I have to end up checking, mentally over and over again to make sure the things I like are good or are of good quality. Would type more but stupid trigger warning is in my way.

Anybody else fear of having kids?? My boyfriend wants some and I do too but I’m terrified thinking about it.

I definitely am not asking anyone to reassure me, just wanted to share. I’m feeling kinda down because my OCD has made me really doubt the existence of God which is hard because I’ve been a believer my whole life. Just a shitty feeling that’s been hard to deal with for me.

lately i’ve been having a lot of violent intrusive thoughts, and i don’t know why because i’ve never had them before... i can’t control them, and i always feel really alone and outcasted because no one i know has this form of ocd... i’m not worried i’ll act on them, i trust myself enough, but it bothers me that i always think of harmful things and it can really stress me out

(About sexual ideation) “The thoughts are not really part of the person's identity, but they are the sort of thoughts or impulses the person with OCD fears that he/she may have.” Okay, I struggle with this. I feel like I think about situations that I don’t WANT to be sexual but my body makes sexual. Does that make sense? Say I’m thinking about wrestling with a friend of the same sex, and bam, suddenly HOCD thoughts are there. I’m struggling because — someone COULD have sexual thoughts about wrestling. I could see how a physical activity like wrestling could be arousing. And maybe my body is aroused by it. Maybe it’s “sexually relevant” enough. Maybe it’s mostly my anxiety and fear. I DESIRE the wrestling, I ENJOY it, but I do NOT want arousal or sexual intercourse or anything sexual like that. What defines something as sexual? My arousal is unwanted. Is not wanting arousal enough? Does anyone hear me, here?

How do I help someone with POCD who is suicidal?

does anyone else have the type of ocd where you obsess over one person for years and only their opinion matters and you never feel good enough? i don't know if this is a specific sub group of ocd, so far for me it's just been considered pure o. but i've never met or heard of anyone who experiences it as well. it'd be cool to know that i'm not the only one because sometime i feel like an obsessive stalker even though i don't stalk??¿¿

This isn’t fair. This isn’t how I want to live my life but I can’t help it. Constantly I get thoughts that I killed someone. Idk what to do