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the NOCD Community

OCD is a struggle, what has personally helped you to get past it? I am going to see a therapist soon once my insurance starts up, but in the meantime, what are small tactics that help you?

I literally cannot deal with grounal response anymore I'm so tired

So I have been in a WONDERFUL place lately. I love my boyfriend so fricken much. I was bragging about him to my friend, and how he is my world and no matter what I know he is my person and I choose him. Tell me why it somehow turned into her dissecting our relationship and why we aren't married yet and why we don't have kids yet. Talking about how there's got to be a deeper reason behind why he is waiting and how I am ready but he isn't. SHE LITERALLY HAD SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY FOR EVERYTHING POSITIVE I SAID. She is aware I have ocd but she doesn't fully understand that when I say something is triggering me that it is TRIGGERING ME. She doesn't understand how hard I had to fight my way out of that dark cloud that ocd had me in. She even brought up something I said last summer when my ocd hit HUGE and was at its most terrifying place. I had mentioned how I never lived alone because we got together The year after high scool, and I was kind of mourning the fact that Id never have that, but that was also weeks of rumination piling on top of the other and my compulsion of avoidance. I was in a depressive haze of ocd and I didn't even realize it. To bring up such a TERRIFYING THING when I am telling you I am triggered, like UGH. I am now at a place where yes, its true I never had that girl vs the world life where I had an apartment of my own and all that, but my life now with him is so much better, and is the goal I would be working towards anyway even if I had not moved in with him at that age. I KNOW HE IS MY PERSON. I am not giving him an ultimatum, or a time limit, I am not forcing his hand, I love him enough to have patience for when the time is right for marriage and kids. We have been together for just under six years, but we are still very young and everyone's timeline is different. I am not going to leave him for the one difference we have and it is all to do with time. He wants marriage and kids to we talk about it all the time. However he wants to join the police academy, and he wants to impress my father, etc. I have told him countless times I love him the way he is and ill marry him no matter what, but he is old fashioned and that is okay. We are bestfriends. I don't want anyone else. I choose him. I have chose him. And ill choose him over and over again, despite what ocd says or tries to make a big deal of. He doesn't abuse me, he doesn't yell at me, he doesn't try to hurt me, he takes care of me in every way. Just because I want a ring and a baby and he wants to get a few things sorted before that happens does not mean I should leave. I promise I am not trying to self reassure myself. I am just painting a picture of this situation. It is just extremely frustrating when you tell someone they are triggering you and then they continue to talk about something that is a TRIGGER. This is why I purposely don't discuss deep relationship stuff with people who don't know me and Steven, or dont have ocd, because they don't get it. they just don't. I CHOOSE HIM. I FEEL THE FEAR OF OCD AND I LIVE ANYWAY!

Hey everyone, how are you all doing today ? I’ve taken some time out today for self care and found my batteries are slowly recharging which is a great feeling. What do you all do to recharge ?

I’m going through a really weird period where everything my boyfriend does annoys me I’m really agitated and I think it’s because my OCD has spiked recently and I’m having sexually intrusive thoughts about other men and why other men would be better for me. It’s like this nagging voice in my head which says awful things about my current boyfriend even though he’s my whole world and is so good to me. This then makes me feel disconnected to my boyfriend because I have intense shame surrounding my thoughts and I feel like I’ve nothing to talk about with him now because I am so numb.

My OCD flared back up 10 weeks ago. Massive anxiety,followed by intrusive thoughts and fears. I had been good for 8 years. Then was triggered by a story I heard about a man with ocd that killed his family. I then went into panic mode thinking that can't be right. It doesn't work that way, then started obsessing about the people you see on TV that do that sort of thing and started fearing well what if they are a narcissist with ocd and what if I'm a narcissist with ocd and what if that is what made them do that and could it make me think i want to do that. I've kind of drifted from that Fear and my new fear is, my first major anxiety/panic attack happened when my wife was pregnant with our first child 22 years ago. Back then I thought well maybe it's the pregnancy that made me go into ocd mode. We had 2 more kids after and I dealt with harm ocd with the 2nd child and the 3rd there were no issues. I fear now that what if one day I blame the kids for my ocd and what if it makes me hate them or resent them or not love them or want to avoid them. I love them so much. My life is centered around my kids and I love being with them. How should I go about handling this fear. Accepting it as maybe it will happen or maybe it won't isn't a real option for me. It's so distressing to think of that scenario. Any help would be greatly appreciated

I am taking Lexapro but I feel like it makes me care less about everything. The lows are less low but my positive emotions are dulled also. Has anyone felt the same way or fixed this?

My husband has OCD, and it targets me and our relationship. And I'm not sure how to deal with it. He gets intrusive thoughts calling me a whore, which hurts alot because I try to be so modest, and he knows since the beginning of our relationship I've had a massive fear of being sexualized. He has so many intrusive thoughts and inappropriate images of his ex's and everyone he's ever liked, and things he'd seen online. He has them all times of the day and alot of them, and even during our intimate time. He has ones saying I look just like his ex's or people he's liked. Even telling me some have grounds, and that they're not intrusive. He says he finds others intrusively attractive. And he has many more. I try to stay calm, and understand, but this stuff just hurts so much, and effects our relationship, me, and intimacy so much. It's broken me down as a person. All my self esteem is gone, and I feel so worthless. I feel so ugly, I want to tear my skin off. I'm so lost. I feel like I've lost myself and who I am. I love him so much, I just don't know what to do I'm being hurt so much.

I’m so tired, I’m so tired of this. I hate being stuck on something and feeling so much guilt and shame. I’m so tired this has been going on for almost 3 years now, and I have no motivation to do anything at all. I don’t know what to do anymore

I have a disgusting compulsion that I’m too afraid to tell anyone (even my therapist) about. It has to do with a bodily function. I need some courage to tell her in my appointment today so that we can work through ERP with it. I’m afraid that she’ll call me gross like my previous therapist did when I told them about my avoidance with brushing my teeth (now fixed, thanks to current therapist). I have an ingrained distrust of doctors. How do I tell her what’s been going on?

Why do I feel like I am in the process of becoming a killer? It's really disturbing for me but whenever I go I see myself doing horrible things to the people I care about and to my pets. I'm feeling like I am not normal anymore. This never happened to me. But, I remember when I had another cat, once I put my arms around her to see if I can harm her, amd I didn't. That's what makes me feel like I am becoming a killer and I am in denial. I don't want that and I thought about suicide with pills.

Been talking over how I feel and what’s happened and why I’m 30 and this has just become a thing! Iv discovered a p has jumped in my mind , this is why I like the thoughts wants the thoughts this is why the groinals are happening! Because me before this didn’t have any of these things! So it’s not me I haven’t turned into a p ! A p is living in my mind

Trigger warning: my severe existential ocd thoughts about ,,Solipsism" I am afraid that many eternal sadistic gods or only one evil god chose to only create me as a sentient/real being, making everyone else an unconscious robot. I am deeply scared that one day those higher beings will reveal themselves to me that I am indeed the only sentient being. I am also afraid that I will exist for all eternity by myself (because those higher beings/gods want me to suffer due to their evil nature). They perfidiously give me love now (through my parents, sister etc.) so that one day they will take away everything (they will tell me everything beautiful I have experienced was an illusion.) Only I and these gods exist (no biblical god additionaly). Furthermore, I would like to say that I don't believe in it 100%, but I have a great fear of it because it could theoretically be true I have been dealing with depression for two and a half years and as a result, I have quit work and social activities. Is considered a psychosis or ocd? What kind of therapy is best for me? Best reagards, Betty

I watched a podcast about ocd and values, and i learned there how ocd attack your values... i said here alot of times that its hard for me to understand what to do cause ocd makes it so confusing. Like for an exemple today i didnt do much for streghtening my relationship with God, so next time i should do something to not lose this connection, and all of the sudden my ocd made it like "i have to pray or listen something christian related cause if i dont do i lose the relationship" so it became something I "must" do. So before i saw this like maybe im just wanting this relationship because of ocd, because im afraid, and then i felt wrong that for erp i have to stop trying to connect with God, so i stopped doing what i wanted to do and I felt really bad... But after i learned this from that podcast now I see that ocd is even more confusing. It can make you feel like the things you want to do you do it cause of ocd...

Please reply, I know this can be seen as seeking reassurance but I think in some cases people need it and I am really suffering and am not in therapy or have ever been 😞 Is it possible with harm ocd that you can get use to the thought to the point you don’t get anxiety but the ‘urges’ can still be there? Or it feels like you ‘want’ to act on it or ‘like it’ or my head has literally convinced me that I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing and I get no anxiety when thinking about the thoughts (thoughts about smothering) and it’s stressing me out because I get no anxiety but it feels like I would suddenly lash out and do that and it’s because I ‘know how it feels to do that and enjoy/like the feeling of doing that/stopping someone from breathing with a pillow) I feel very upset and don’t know what to do, I’m carrying on with things but I’m constantly carrying this with me and I’m not stressing out over it every second of the day but I feel like I just don’t know what to do it feels so real and like it would actually happen and it’s ‘not the right circumstance for it to happen’ and Im just a mess and don’t know how I can live my life this way, believing this? It feels like it would happen or is inevitable and it would be because I like the feeling of smothering and it’s so horrible and I don’t know what to do I don’t even feel any bad feelings of anxiety or anything anymore but the other fake urges/feelings are there and it’s weird and I’m worried and don’t know how to deal with this

Hi guys I’ve had ocd since I was a child I’m 37 now. I’ve not been diagnosed but I have all the symptoms and looking back at my life it’s so obvious I had it from lining up my ribs as a child to more mental compulsions now of having to ruminate and get thoughts just right to stop bad things happening BUT!!! Even tho I know I have ocd I still can’t start erp I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the right time to start erp, any advice on starting erp and seeing it through. Thanks

How can you tell if a thought is an intrusive thought versus an anxious thought? Cause I know the treatment for both is different like with anxiety you can sit with it and acknowledge and ration with it but you’re not supposed to with ocd

Some days it gets really bad and other days it's not here at all. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was sick like weeks ago but I'm just left with this annoying cough that won't go away. This happened last summer but it went away. I can't help but look things up. I just hate this annoying cough.

I feel terrible for something I did during the talking stage. My partner and I are now 2 and a half years in, and when we were just talking and getting to know one another and going on dates, I was still talking to my ex partner who I dated for a month prior. He was a close friend, but there were times where we were intimate during the time period of dates with my current partner. I feel so guilty, I love my partner to death and would never in a million years think of cheating on him and I’m afraid I did something awful and I don’t know if I deserve him:( I want to be happy, but idk how. This haunts me and it makes me wanna break up with my partner because he doesnt deserve this.

I recently have been under an extreme amount of stress. Working full-time, taking care of a toddler, taking an intensive course with deadlines all in 1 month. I broke down Wednesday with rolling panic attacks. For the past 7days now I have panic attacks where I profusely shake, heart increases above 100, and feel like I am going to vomit my insides out. But worst of all, is the intrusive thoughts that I am losing my mind. My OCD revolves around loss of control and fear of going crazy. Ever since a kid. I have been through OCD counseling before but never did ERP. Instead, coped for 4 years using ACT. I have been to the ER and a Behavioral health clinic both in the past 7 days from my panic and fear of losing my mind. It's been so exhausting. Fear of insanity is so tremendous, when the panic sets I feel like no one will be able to help me and I'll be stuck in my mind forever. It's been the lowest I have ever felt. Hoping there is hope for me. I have little faith in myself 🙏 🪷