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the NOCD Community

I am taking Lexapro but I feel like it makes me care less about everything. The lows are less low but my positive emotions are dulled also. Has anyone felt the same way or fixed this?

My husband has OCD, and it targets me and our relationship. And I'm not sure how to deal with it. He gets intrusive thoughts calling me a whore, which hurts alot because I try to be so modest, and he knows since the beginning of our relationship I've had a massive fear of being sexualized. He has so many intrusive thoughts and inappropriate images of his ex's and everyone he's ever liked, and things he'd seen online. He has them all times of the day and alot of them, and even during our intimate time. He has ones saying I look just like his ex's or people he's liked. Even telling me some have grounds, and that they're not intrusive. He says he finds others intrusively attractive. And he has many more. I try to stay calm, and understand, but this stuff just hurts so much, and effects our relationship, me, and intimacy so much. It's broken me down as a person. All my self esteem is gone, and I feel so worthless. I feel so ugly, I want to tear my skin off. I'm so lost. I feel like I've lost myself and who I am. I love him so much, I just don't know what to do I'm being hurt so much.

I’m so tired, I’m so tired of this. I hate being stuck on something and feeling so much guilt and shame. I’m so tired this has been going on for almost 3 years now, and I have no motivation to do anything at all. I don’t know what to do anymore

I have a disgusting compulsion that I’m too afraid to tell anyone (even my therapist) about. It has to do with a bodily function. I need some courage to tell her in my appointment today so that we can work through ERP with it. I’m afraid that she’ll call me gross like my previous therapist did when I told them about my avoidance with brushing my teeth (now fixed, thanks to current therapist). I have an ingrained distrust of doctors. How do I tell her what’s been going on?

Why do I feel like I am in the process of becoming a killer? It's really disturbing for me but whenever I go I see myself doing horrible things to the people I care about and to my pets. I'm feeling like I am not normal anymore. This never happened to me. But, I remember when I had another cat, once I put my arms around her to see if I can harm her, amd I didn't. That's what makes me feel like I am becoming a killer and I am in denial. I don't want that and I thought about suicide with pills.

Been talking over how I feel and what’s happened and why I’m 30 and this has just become a thing! Iv discovered a p has jumped in my mind , this is why I like the thoughts wants the thoughts this is why the groinals are happening! Because me before this didn’t have any of these things! So it’s not me I haven’t turned into a p ! A p is living in my mind

Trigger warning: my severe existential ocd thoughts about ,,Solipsism" I am afraid that many eternal sadistic gods or only one evil god chose to only create me as a sentient/real being, making everyone else an unconscious robot. I am deeply scared that one day those higher beings will reveal themselves to me that I am indeed the only sentient being. I am also afraid that I will exist for all eternity by myself (because those higher beings/gods want me to suffer due to their evil nature). They perfidiously give me love now (through my parents, sister etc.) so that one day they will take away everything (they will tell me everything beautiful I have experienced was an illusion.) Only I and these gods exist (no biblical god additionaly). Furthermore, I would like to say that I don't believe in it 100%, but I have a great fear of it because it could theoretically be true I have been dealing with depression for two and a half years and as a result, I have quit work and social activities. Is considered a psychosis or ocd? What kind of therapy is best for me? Best reagards, Betty

I watched a podcast about ocd and values, and i learned there how ocd attack your values... i said here alot of times that its hard for me to understand what to do cause ocd makes it so confusing. Like for an exemple today i didnt do much for streghtening my relationship with God, so next time i should do something to not lose this connection, and all of the sudden my ocd made it like "i have to pray or listen something christian related cause if i dont do i lose the relationship" so it became something I "must" do. So before i saw this like maybe im just wanting this relationship because of ocd, because im afraid, and then i felt wrong that for erp i have to stop trying to connect with God, so i stopped doing what i wanted to do and I felt really bad... But after i learned this from that podcast now I see that ocd is even more confusing. It can make you feel like the things you want to do you do it cause of ocd...

Please reply, I know this can be seen as seeking reassurance but I think in some cases people need it and I am really suffering and am not in therapy or have ever been 😞 Is it possible with harm ocd that you can get use to the thought to the point you don’t get anxiety but the ‘urges’ can still be there? Or it feels like you ‘want’ to act on it or ‘like it’ or my head has literally convinced me that I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing and I get no anxiety when thinking about the thoughts (thoughts about smothering) and it’s stressing me out because I get no anxiety but it feels like I would suddenly lash out and do that and it’s because I ‘know how it feels to do that and enjoy/like the feeling of doing that/stopping someone from breathing with a pillow) I feel very upset and don’t know what to do, I’m carrying on with things but I’m constantly carrying this with me and I’m not stressing out over it every second of the day but I feel like I just don’t know what to do it feels so real and like it would actually happen and it’s ‘not the right circumstance for it to happen’ and Im just a mess and don’t know how I can live my life this way, believing this? It feels like it would happen or is inevitable and it would be because I like the feeling of smothering and it’s so horrible and I don’t know what to do I don’t even feel any bad feelings of anxiety or anything anymore but the other fake urges/feelings are there and it’s weird and I’m worried and don’t know how to deal with this

Hi guys I’ve had ocd since I was a child I’m 37 now. I’ve not been diagnosed but I have all the symptoms and looking back at my life it’s so obvious I had it from lining up my ribs as a child to more mental compulsions now of having to ruminate and get thoughts just right to stop bad things happening BUT!!! Even tho I know I have ocd I still can’t start erp I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the right time to start erp, any advice on starting erp and seeing it through. Thanks

How can you tell if a thought is an intrusive thought versus an anxious thought? Cause I know the treatment for both is different like with anxiety you can sit with it and acknowledge and ration with it but you’re not supposed to with ocd

Some days it gets really bad and other days it's not here at all. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was sick like weeks ago but I'm just left with this annoying cough that won't go away. This happened last summer but it went away. I can't help but look things up. I just hate this annoying cough.

I feel terrible for something I did during the talking stage. My partner and I are now 2 and a half years in, and when we were just talking and getting to know one another and going on dates, I was still talking to my ex partner who I dated for a month prior. He was a close friend, but there were times where we were intimate during the time period of dates with my current partner. I feel so guilty, I love my partner to death and would never in a million years think of cheating on him and I’m afraid I did something awful and I don’t know if I deserve him:( I want to be happy, but idk how. This haunts me and it makes me wanna break up with my partner because he doesnt deserve this.

I recently have been under an extreme amount of stress. Working full-time, taking care of a toddler, taking an intensive course with deadlines all in 1 month. I broke down Wednesday with rolling panic attacks. For the past 7days now I have panic attacks where I profusely shake, heart increases above 100, and feel like I am going to vomit my insides out. But worst of all, is the intrusive thoughts that I am losing my mind. My OCD revolves around loss of control and fear of going crazy. Ever since a kid. I have been through OCD counseling before but never did ERP. Instead, coped for 4 years using ACT. I have been to the ER and a Behavioral health clinic both in the past 7 days from my panic and fear of losing my mind. It's been so exhausting. Fear of insanity is so tremendous, when the panic sets I feel like no one will be able to help me and I'll be stuck in my mind forever. It's been the lowest I have ever felt. Hoping there is hope for me. I have little faith in myself 🙏 🪷

It's like a neverending cycle of doubt that I'm even straight. Too much physical and mental evidence which I cannot seem to let go of or ignore. I can't see myself with the same sex or getting married to them but how do I even trust that I don't? I know if I even have to ask that it's probably OCD but I'm sure at some point I'll get some thought or image of that and start liking it if I let go. I'm not even sure if I can get into a relationship with a woman because I've never been in one in general and I'm in my 30s and who knows if I'll be good enough sexually in the moment going forward.

I started Prozac a little over a month ago and I feel like my OCD could go into remission. I went from being so exhausted to the point where even getting up in the morning was hard to arguably the happiest I’ve been in almost a year. If you’re scared to take medication for your OCD, let this be a sign that it’s gonna be okay! ❤️

Is there anything special for handling command thoughts? It is exceedingly distressing and I've been considering hospitalization... I'm experiencing these for the first time, almost certainly because I read about them and I set up a wall against thinking them...

I went to the emergency room a few days ago (I am military) due to intrusive thoughts of self harm and they have enrolled me into a 5 week program and I’m really scared for my career in the military. Anything anyone does to combat the anxiety my ocd is telling me if I go there I will loose my family and my wife so I’m terrified to even step foot in the building

What’s been the worst time of your POCD? I’m just wondering so I could see if I could relate to any of them.

Does anybody here watch adult videos? (P0rn) Do you think it cause your brain to have intrusive thoughts about literally everything?