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Hey Buddy hope you get this message . It is about 8 pm your time . How are things?!?!

I’m so tired of living like this everyday is a struggle

I have been feeling pretty defeated lately with being misunderstood and unable to understand what I am feeling and what is happening in my head. Still, I will do the best I can to describe it and see if any of you guys can relate. I feel like I have no emotions about anything, and it makes me nervous that I don’t feel anxious that I have no feelings (even though it is almost all I can think about). I don’t feel worried that I might have no feelings for my partner. I don’t know if I do or don’t or what I want. I don’t know anything. I feel super disconnected from the world around me and mostly myself, and I don’t know what is going on. I try to describe it to my therapist, and they don’t understand what I am trying to say. I feel super off, and I am trying so hard to figure out what is wrong, and I just can’t. I have no certainty about anything (like us all). I wish I could have some confidence in something, although OCD would probably attack that, also. I know this is all over the place, but my last thing is, do you guys not feel anxious or worried that you might lose your partner? I don’t feel anything, and I don’t know what to do. I used to know what I felt, and this and that, and the thoughts were egodynostic, and now I have no idea. I don’t know anything. I feel hopeless in my life right now, and I’m not sure what to do or how to fix it because I don’t even know what I want or what values to lean into.

Hey there! I was wondering if anyone else experiences the same thing / has any advice on it! My OCD tends to be strongest in the morning, and it can make getting ready for the day pretty difficult. I always push through and continue with my morning / day, and eventually the OCD gets a little “less loud” so to speak, but I would love some insight on anything that has helped others in terms of not having so much anxiety upon waking up. I’m currently in therapy, but my next session won’t be for a few days as I’m on vacation at the moment.

How did this theme start for you?

Today was difficult dealing with my excoriation. I began to feed into my failures; where will I end up? I want to be the decider of my own fate; Yet, I’m not sure where to go from here. I want to connect with you all; please don’t feel alone. I am here for you. You are strong. You are capable. You are wonderful. You are more powerful than any mental illness that exists, and therefore, you CAN conquer your OCD. If you struggle with skin-picking specifically or any OCD related illness, please share below. ❤️

My new fear is being attracted to my cats and doing something inappropiate to them. This terrifies me and l feel extremely disgusted, as my cats are my whole world and I love them so much, I just don't understand why this is happening!! This morning I was sitting on the carpet playing with 2 of my cats normally and suddenly an intrusive thought appeared and I started feeling an urge that I was goign to do somethign inappropiate to them, and this resulted in a panick attack with feeling of losing control. Both my cats were lying next to me, but I was paralyzed and could not move, I wondered why I did not run away instead and why did I stay sitting when I had that horrible urge instead of backing away immediately. Worst thing is I had a groinal response which only made things worse. When I felt I could not take it anymore I just dragged myself to the corner and lied down in fetal position crying and shaking. I still have to wait a couple of months until I start therapy and idk of I will be able to cope until then. This is the worst thing i've gone through 😭

Hey Guys! I always like posting when I have positive thinking going and today is one of those days and hopefully I reel in a few of my DP/DR havers and can spread some positivity your way. So one thing that I’ve always found hard to identify was compulsive behavior with my DP/DR symptoms. it being mainly an internal symptom/theme, it’s really hard to point to what I’m doing that may be triggering my theme. However I started realizing something and I’d love to share it with you guys. Depersonalization and Derealization is different for all of us as is anxiety in general. I have difficulties with recognizing myself in mirrors, identifying with my actions (feeling of auto-pilot), false memories (ocd), and overall feelings of unreality especially within the self (interoceptively) Well I think I’ve finally identifying a heavy compulsion that to me never felt like a compulsion. And that’s….. my screen time. Now I apologize if this compulsion or issue does not reflect your experience and I just did a lot of posturing only to not relate to you but I think ALOT of us DP/DR sufferers have one singular thing in common and that is isolation. We don’t go out when our peers/family ask us to, we consistently spend our times (even in social settings) isolated from others. we tend to get this idea that we must wait out our symptoms to transition back into society. And another thing about DP/DR thats relatively unanimous is the idea that we can outthink our symptoms/think our way out of our anxiety. Typically manifesting in existential themes. So LETS DO SOME THINKING Let’s take a perfectly functioning human being who has never experienced DP/DR and treat them to our environment. Say we work from home and are on our laptops all day, say we aren’t working currently and utilize gaming to eat up our time, say we are a big movie/television buff and dive into endless hours of episodic television or movies. Let’s put this perfect human in our path of life for a full month. Once they come out of that month, let’s put them in a grocery store and ask them if they feel disconnected in any bit of way from society. Okay let’s also tell them that every single time they look into the mirror, to ask themselves if they recognize themselves. I think we all know the answers The conclusion to this half baked thought experiment is that the keys are dangling in front of our eyes yet we think in such complex ways of our symptoms that we overlook the obvious. Our behaviors are disengaging from society, so our FEELINGs are disengaged with society. Engage engage engage, I know it’s been said a billion times to us but it’s really the cure. If you spend too much time online or on a screen then no shit you’re going to feel wonky in our actual reality. Hell there are legitimate reports linking VR usage to DP/DR the only difference is we may think we’re not engaging in such consuming content as a VR headset but in reality we really are. Let’s not overthink guys, let’s think. I’m perfectly open to anyone wanting to challenge this thought and really get into the muck about this LOL. Hey I just spent 20 mins typing this out, when I look back to reality you think I’m going to feel a little disconnected uhhhh you think.

Hi everyone, I'm facing a bit of a dilemma. Last Thursday, I woke up with a sore throat and a little bit of green phlegm when I clear my throat. I'm not coughing, just uncomfortable. I'm supposed to attend an outdoor festival with a friend this Saturday, an event I've been excited about for a while. Now, I'm a bit worried. In the Netherlands, we're not required to follow COVID-19 measures like social distancing or wearing masks anymore. But I can't help but wonder, could I be carrying some other illness without knowing it? Festivals can be crowded, and the last thing I want is to unintentionally get someone else sick. To rule out COVID-19, I took a test and it came out negative. This should be reassuring, but it's not entirely. I'm still left wondering if it could be another kind of virus. The local health authorities recently updated their guidelines on July 3, 2023. They mentioned that if you're feeling slightly unwell but not seriously sick, you don't necessarily need to stay at home. Just be smart about it - avoid people who are vulnerable to getting seriously ill, and keep your hands clean. But despite this advice, I'm still unsure. Traditionally, the advice is that if you're feeling under the weather, it's better to stay home. But in reality, many people still go to work or events like festivals when they have minor symptoms. I even reached out to another health organization. I told them about my sore throat and the green phlegm, and they assured me that I could attend the festival. But still, I can't help but worry. It feels like, because I'm aware of the risk, I should act more cautiously than someone who's not giving it a second thought. It's important to remember that even common illnesses like the flu or a cold can spread and be dangerous for children, the elderly, or those with pre-existing health conditions. Qtbleast that is what the health website says, how many people actually think about this when going out? I really want to go, before my ocd and before covid i would not have thought qbout it andbjust went. I have a sore throath quite often, and i canjot keep putting my life on pauze everytime. This friend rhat im going with is the last friend i got, i have allost no social contacts anymore. To make things worse, i even heard from my wife who is friends with my friends wife that my friend has told his wife that he jopes im not going to tell ive been feeling ill again or am having a dry troath or sore troath. My friends, family, therapist, brother and more are suggesting that I should just go. They appreciate that I'm considering the potential risks, but they also say that I can't put my life on hold every time I have a sore throat, which happens to me quite frequently. So, I'm reaching out to ask for your thoughts. What would you do in my situation?

Any form of this question is considered seeking reassurance. Seeking reassurance is a compulsion which makes OCD worse. The ironic part is the more you ask these questions regarding intrusive thoughts the more real and disturbing your intrusive thoughts can feel. That is because OCD is a doubting disorder. Even when presented with sound logical arguments OCD can find other "paths" to take to prove its point. It doesn't matter how unlikely it is, OCD will find a way to convince you because it knows how to attack your values (a trait known as ego-dystonic). Instead of reacting to your intrusive thoughts here are a few more productive things you can do: -Take inventory of the content of the thoughts and how you feel physically: This can help you identify when you're having Obsessive thoughts, making it easier to respond next time a bug flare up occurs or your theme changes. It is important that you do not react to your feelings when doing this. Perhaps try to write these thoughts down non-judgementally. -Identify your compulsions: What actions or thoughts are you responding with? Recognize them and work your way to eliminating them consciously so you don't perform them automatically. Perhaps tell yourself "this is a compulsion and I need to stop" as soon as you catch yourself in the act. -Accept whatever thoughts you are having: "I guess you're right OCD, but there's nothing I can do. Oh well." This will show your thoughts that you don't care if you can be genuine. Remember, disturbing thoughts don't mean you're in danger or you're actually what you fear. Even if OCD is making you believe your thoughts are real, play along. OCD can trick you to believe there's genuinely something wrong with you because of your thoughts. This is a trap. -Introduce chaos to the equation: make the thoughts humorous to yourself or get annoyed with OCD. "You've told me this before OCD. Just shut up already. I know these thoughts already and I know I'm whatever you say I am. I don't care, I have more important things to do." or "Man, wouldn't it be funny if that actually was true OCD? It would be like I'm a character of a sitcom!". -Go on with your day: this sounds easier than it is, I completely get it. Whatever you are doing, whether at work or school or anything else, take quality and pride in whatever you're involved in. If you can't do that, move to a task that requires you to expend brain power or physical stamina. Find something you can look back on when the smoke clears and say "wow, I was really strong to overcome that at the time and I'm glad I did it now." The power these thoughts have on us can be reduced to where they're pretty much not there anymore, but you should always expect intrusive thoughts. It's likely you'll get flare ups throughout your life, but that makes learning a method like this even more worth commiting to. It will take a while to feel better, so please be kind to yourself and take it slow. If you're doing ERP start with smaller exposures and work your way up. Just PLEASE hold off on performing compulsions while you are trying to get better. More advanced exposures can lead to an inflated feeling of needing to perform compulsions. This is also a trap, be aware of it. You can do this. Give OCD hell today.

I keep on thinking that my boyfriend is cheating on me and I don’t know why. I hung out with him today and I asked if I can use his phone to see if he would be all defensive or not and he just asked on what I was gonna do and I just start taking pictures of myself and he starts laughing because he found the faces I was making silly. But when he wasn’t looking I did scroll to look at his notifications and saw that a girl on snap sent him a snap and then I saw some girl or bot named Cher🍒 and my stomach dropped and my whole mood changed entirely. He saw that my mood changed and started to hug me and give me lots of kisses and asked me what was wrong cause he was concerned and I had a hard time deciding on weather or not I should ask him if he’s cheating on me. So I did end up asking him if he’s seeing other people and he said No and asked if I was and I said no then he gave me a big hug. We than went downstairs and I asked again if he was seeing other girls, talking to other girls, or cheating on me and he said “No I’m not seeing someone else love” and he rested his head on my shoulder. I then asked about the girl that snapped him and he asked me what the name was but I told him how I couldn’t see the name so he said that it’s probably his old co worker sending him streaks and how she does that. I then asked him if he’s told her that he’s dating me he said yes that he’s told her. I then later asked about this Cher🍒 person and that’s when he told me how it was a porn bot from his old telegram and how he was gonna delete it cause he doesn’t use it anymore and so he did. I feel like I did a lot of compulsions today with the constant questioning and I still have a hard time believing him so when I got home I asked him again if he was talking to other girls and he said “no I’m not”. I would also like to mention that he never once acted all defensive or worried he responded to me calmly while also showing me affection and trying to calm me down and be there for me when he noticed my mood changed but yet even though he acted so sweet I had a hard time believing him. It’s gotten to the point where I almost tried looking up ways to log into his account but I stopped myself because it’s not worth it and I’m probably just looking for answers constantly and it’s gonna cause me to create a toxic habit. But later in the day he did make time to watch anime with me and stayed up past his bed time when he normally goes to sleep. I really don’t know what to do in order to calm my mind and actually try to trust him. Has anyone ever experienced this before?

I am flooded with anxiety i feel like i have confess something to my boyfriend and i feel like i have to say something right now I don’t think i actually did this but i feel like i have to say just incase Dont judge but here it goes: 5 years ago when i was single i met my guy best mate i was 18 and just broke up with my boyfriend at the time so i was single My guy best mate at the time and i went for a nap in my room and i moved into a spooning position GOD knows why i have never been attracted to him or liked but i didn’t care i was single and now it cringes me out so bad (we never acc spooned) Anyway fast forward 3-4 years i was dating my now boyfriend and during covid we chilled in dorm rooms so my best mate visited me and i was fasting that day so i felt tired and attempted to nap during watching a film now my brain is fixating on whether i fid that spooning position again WHICH i know i didn’t but im flooded with guilt and feel as though i have to confess Btw my boyfriend knew whenever my guy mate came round and he never had any issues I no longer am close to this guy mate just because i want to be respectful to the relationship ^ this above happened over 2 years ago What do i do😭😭😭

I don’t even know where to start. I am such a mess and I am such a loser. It’s not even funny. I love my fiancé. Why must I convince myself though? The compulsions and fear of seeing, hearing and knowing my ex haunts me. If you don’t know who I am, or my story, to sum it up… I was in a relationship with a narcissist. I was abused and discarded. Many things happened in between, and here I am. I entered a relationship with my fiancé, and we are long distance. It was risky seeming that I moved on from that relationship but I took that risk and have never been happier. Throughout my relationship I got small compulsions at first like “Long distance doesn’t work and you might as well go back to the abuse because that’s all you are used to.” I brushed them off, but they always kept coming back (ruminating) and I began to obsess on what these thoughts mean and questioning my morale. My fiancé proposed (kind of…long story lol) and we plan to wed in 2026. The thoughts get worse with time. Most of all, the thoughts I get relive my abuse. They taunt me and make it seem like I like it. I know I obviously have trauma. But, God…if this isn’t anxiety inducing and pain setting then I don’t know what is.I don’t want him romantically at all. The thoughts even try to deny that. I know it’s not true and I get anxiety. So much anxiety and PTSD from the past and I can’t seem to no matter what I do; let. it. go. I have done ERP and mediation and everything in the book you can think of. They don’t go away. I can’t do medicine. I was suicidal in the past for other topics relating to my mental health and I only really take advil for headaches because I have a compulsion that if I take more medicine I will overdose and die. Most of all, I see what I can potentially be doing to my fiancé. I’m even contemplating calling the wedding off and telling him we’re done. Here are my messages for reference. I am scared and helpless. Please.

I got a job offer as a part-time adjunct professor at a local university, but I still feel as if I failed at life. Let’s be honest, being an adjunct is NOT a good thing. It pays very little (a McDonald’s crew employee earns more) and has no benefits. But, it’s all I can get for now and I desperately need the money. I don’t have enough to even take care of my basic needs. I’ve already applied to nearly 350 jobs, with no success. Why am I such a failure? Because I made the stupidest decision to get a PhD. Now I’m overqualified for many full time positions, or just lack the tech skills to get a real job. So I’m stuck with this. Not sure how I should proceed, it’s either I let my pride get in the way and not take the job or just take it and go along with the flow. Anyone here can relate?

I am fighting an Obsession that I have had since the beginning of the pandemic. Whenever I see children that are doing things , tonight it was kids riding bikes, and in the presence of my pet dog, I get a bad feeling. The feeling is that the dog will hurt the children by acknowledging their presence. I know that this is not going to happen. My new compulsion then is make sure the dog is not restricted by my compulsion for him to be kept in the house so h doesn’t interact with children. I also tend to blame a grandparent who has lots of issues anxiety for my OCD. I know I shouldn’t do this, but I find calming. Ho do I sit with this crazy, stupid idea that keeps coming back? Any thoughts?

me and my bf were making a cake for my birthday today and while i was pouring the batter we got into an argument about how much to pour. i said it didnt effing matter and i just wanted to make myself a stupid cake. he proceeded to pour one pan of batter into the other to even it out, in doing so getting batter on the rim and outside of the pans. i told him i didnt want the cake anymore and its ruined so theres no point in making it (because we argued and now the cake is tainted.) ive been laying in bed since it happened and he keeps trying to get me to make it or talk to him but i just dont care. i have a pit in my stomach, i know i should just get over it but i slept most of the day bc i had a feeling something would happen. my feelings are hurt. idk what to do.

Since when do we recommend controlled substances to people rather than reminding them that they can handle discomfort?! How tf is that helpful?

Can anybody comment on my last 2 posts please:( I feel so hopeless

In case nobody has asked you recently 🧡

I’ve been dealing with short term memory loss recently. Forgetting simple things: names, objects, so on and so forth. It’s to the point where I feel as if I’m spinning out of control. I write here only to use it as a journal and to hopefully connect with those in the community. I’m not googling symptoms as I know it’ll send me further down the rabbit hole. I feel as if me having the short term memory issues is a symptom of me constantly thinking and worrying. I come from a family of depression, schizophrenia, dementia, and other illnesses. I unfortunately deal with anxiety and undiagnosed OCD (100% fit the criteria and in therapy working with tools to cope) so having this terrifies me. I’m compulsively looking up test, watching YouTube, and looking for reassurance in other avenues. Brain fog follows here and there, but my main concern is the memory. I’m in the process of learning acceptance/uncertainty. It’s difficult, but I’m determined, hence my presence here. I’m actively doing the work. It’s a roller coaster, but I see incremental progress. Day by day guys. I may be searching for certainty in majority of my compulsions, but the one thing I know is with my will, I will conquer this. Thank you!