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Anyone who makes art, what kind of struggles you face with it because of ocd?

So I was having sexuality thoughts and I tried using one ERP method which was “maybe or maybe not either way I will be fine” but then a random thought appeared that made me panic which was “what if I become bi or fall for a girl and can’t be with my bf no more?” And I instantly started crying because I don’t wanna lose him he’s literally everything to me. I also couldn’t fully cry out my emotions since I live in a toxic household and I tend to force myself to stop crying because I don’t want them asking me questions and then blaming on the people I care about. 😭

Anyways, aside from my last post, I wanted to come here and let y’all know that I’m basically recovered from SO-OCD! I have maybe one episode every two months, and that’s been going on for two years. Wanted to open up this thread and offer the floor for anyone who has questions for me and my experience!

For those whose OCD gets worse with your cycle, did birth control help?

I think I've struggled with self esteem ever since I was a little boy. I remember the moments where I didn't get along with other kids, where I was bullied a couple times, where I had problem socializing with other kids in middle school, and definitely when I had little to no friends in high school. That's when it was at it's worse. I often compare myself to others without even meaning to, I don't praise the things I do, I'm often stuck with negative self talk, and as of now as an adult it's been causing mood swings that can throw off my entire day/night like it has right now. I couldn't even enjoy drawing because I just kept seeing all the other stuff people can make and thinking how much my drawings sucked. Instead of seeing that was inspiration like I'd hoped it would, I just felt worse. These feelings even show up with my friends and sometimes family. The people I care about the most in my whole life. I constantly just remember everything bad that went on in my life and I feel like I'm not good enough because of my mistakes and regrets. Ashamed, even

While I was in church today I was a little down. I talk to my grandmother and God a lot. I was praying before I go up to communion. I felt and heard God saying to me that “everything is going to be ok, and I anoint your head with the Holy Spirit”. Those were the 2 main things that he said. Then after i started praying and my grandmother appeared to me holding my hand, then I look again I see her face got ugly, white eyes, sharp teeth, and roared in my face. I jumped. Then i went back in and there she was again all beautiful. After I received communion, I was talking to her again saying that was the enemy that was using my OCD against me. Had a little bit of a setback the past few days. Even in church the enemy could attack you. OCD is now telling me that wasn’t my grandmother I’ve been talking to, even though she’s my guardian angel and felt her presence whenever she talked to me. I had proof that it was her. I was feeling down today, and I asked her to send me roses because those are his favorite flowers. There were roses all over the church today when I walked in, signifying she was there within me. However since that thought, I got scared and was thinking a tornado. Can OCD do something like this?

Discovering and struggling with my ROCD during my engagement has been the worst time of my life. Worrying incessantly about my fiancé and our future has made me miserable and I’ve become quite hopeless. I also feel so much pressure for everything to be perfect and to make the absolute most of my wedding/honeymoon/etc whatever it is that it’s debilitating. It has been causing a lot of passive suicidal thoughts not wanting to suffer this anymore.

How do you practice overcoming these thoughts? I read that accepting, allowing it to exist without interaction can help, but I don’t know how to apply it or how long it can last

Ok so for a little but of background before my ROCD started I had bad health anxiety/ocd, I was super worried I was going to die, but as well, thought my partner was going to die, and was insistent on them getting checked by the doctor, I was so scared to lose them. Once I got answers for my health concerns, it flipped pretty much over night to feelings of him being a stranger to me, our memories didn't feel real and I was very numbed out. 6 months later I'm still dealing with this, and I'm honestly still in shock about it. My question is, now, the relationship doubts are there, but also I'm starting to notice the "worried about him dying thoughts" pop in, which confuses me, because I never ever want to lose him so I understand being worried about his health but then it immediately flips back to, "why do you even care anyway" Is this normal? Maybe the ROCD started because I was scared to lose him in the first place? Has anyone else experienced this weird flip flop in between being scared to lose them one moment, and then back to numbness the next?

please please please only watch if you are ready: i want to know your guys thoughts on this tik tok because honestly it has been super triggering and confusing given that ocd is EGODYSTONIC https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRobWuPD/

I just recently got diagnosed with OCD. Things are making more sense, but I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do. I have always had horrific intrusive thoughts and compulsions, but I kind of just assumed it was normal and that everyone experienced them. Now that I know for sure that’s not true, I feel so isolated and gross. I feel like I can’t tell anyone. Does it even get better?

Before anyone reads this please be aware that this can be triggering and some 18+ content is mentioned on here. So I have been recently experiencing HOCD, been experiencing it for a few weeks now (it’s very new to me and something Ive never dealt with). My whole life I have never liked a girl nor have I ever had a crush or fell in love with a girl like I do with men. But just like everyone whenever people get into heat sometimes we watch things to pleasure ourselves. Well for me it’s always been lesbian love and have been doing that for years. There have been times where I go “am I bi” but then I would try to imagine myself with a women sexually and romantically and I would just cringe at the idea of it so I would just tell myself that I don’t and just carry on with my everyday life. But a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about this and I explained to them that I am not bi because I would simply see lesbian love as something that I can relate to because of how women pleasure themselves can be relatable and because I said that my friend decides to make a comment saying ”idk maybe you are bi or not, you never know until you try” and for some reason that got in my head and for 2 weeks straight I was having non stop thoughts about my sexuality and trying to imagine myself with a girl and I would always cringe but there were times where it felt like “maybe I do want that” and I would panic again because I don’t want that and it’s not me but yet it feels like I’m lying to myself when I know deep down I’m straight. I also forgot to mention that I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and he’s literally everything to me. But during those two weeks I had lack of sleep and constant mental breakdowns because I don’t wanna be bi and I would panic whenever I felt calm and say things like ”it’s okay to be bi just be bi” it also didn’t help that so many of my friends were telling me that nothing is wrong with being bi and to not drop the idea fully. Like I know sexuality isn’t wrong but I want to drop the idea because I myself know deep down I’m straight but ofc my brain goes “nope you’re just tryna convince yourself”. It also ruins me enjoying my relationship because of these thoughts (as well as some ROCD thoughts). Idk I am just struggling with letting the thoughts in and trying not to analyze them or act on them. It’s very tiring 🥺 Like even rn I feel calm having these thoughts and it freaks me out a lil cause it makes me think that it’s true 😭

does anyone have an inspirational story about recovering? any subtype is great! i feel like this could make more people, including myself, more empowered. so if you want to, please do! ps. doesn’t have to be yours, can be a friends :)

How can I sit with OCD?

Can I get better while still doing compulsions or do I really have to stop all of them? I just can’t imagine giving up every compulsion but also this is torture. Do I quit cold turkey or slowly stop?

This is gonna be a long post, but it needs to be said. Recently, I've been struggling with my mental health. I'm twenty-four years old and I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. Two months ago I quit my job because I was not enjoying it anymore and felt like I wasn't making any progress. Since then, I've been really struggling to find another job. I graduated from university last year and I haven't made any progress. I see people around my age accomplishing/hitting milestones pertaining to social media, getting married, buying a house, and having a baby. Since I've been depressed, my intrusive thoughts have become bigger. I struggle with pure OCD. and struggle a lot during the mornings when I wake up. I look at my life in shame because every time I try to make myself feel better or do a little self-care, there's that voice saying that I don't deserve it. I don't have any friends where I live, so I'm at home a lot of the time. A few weeks ago I got rejected from two jobs that I really wanted and I had a huge mental breakdown where it's triggering to even look at job postings right now. I'm thankful that I live with my parents but I wish I was more independent like people that I know personally. I'm having regrets about quitting my job back in April but I was really miserable working there. Because of my OCD and everything that is happening in my life right now, I starting to feel like my life is not worth living anymore. I am in counselling which helps, but I'm just so overwhelmingly sad because I'm lonely. I'm twenty-four now and I'm turning twenty-five in September and I've decided to stop celebrating my birthday because, to be honest, I don't have anybody to celebrate it with. I'm just never been lucky and I feel like the more lonely Im gonna get, the more intrusive thoughts are gonna get piled up. I just need someone to talk to.

I recently had a son, exactly 3 months ago actually, and it has been genuinely a torturous experience. I used to be so excited for him to come into this world, I was excited to be a parent. I used to be a very happy person as well, I never lost my temper, and I don't know how to explain it other than I was just so happy, happy for my life and spending time with those I loved, hopefull for my future. Around October though I started smoking cannabis daily, and it was very, very bad. I smoked around 4 grams a day (no I'm not joking, I wasted all of my money on it) and I became a very spiteful and genuinely angry and aggressive person. I have hallucinated more than once and fell into very surreal delusions even when I wasn't under the influence All my life was about was smoking, I didn't really care about anything else. A few days before my son was born though I got extremely anxious and scared that I might accidentally drop him, or hurt him accidentally. I feel like I was also just unhappy because I knew I wouldn't be able to spend my time high 24/7 I cut smoking out of my life completely and I was genuinely so happy to be a father, to be there for my fiance, I felt happy, but after getting home, I smoked again and I had unbelievably bad thoughts that someone was going to hurt me or I'd hurt someone else. I was so scared and I swore I'd never smoke again Since then I've been wanting to be a good finance, I've been wanting to be a good father as well, but I've been getting a lot of intrusive thoughts and it happens nearly 24/7 they are about most of my loved ones and even random people and it just scares me, I used to cry because I thought I was going insane or I was a danger. Everytime these thoughts happen I get unbelievably anxious, I get tight in my chest, and I can't help but try to fight them, but when I fight them, the thoughts linger or worsen and Its just a nasty cycle. My fiance and therapist think I have harm OCD, and a potential cannabis psychosis and it's just so debilitating. I get stressed everytime I see any sharp objects whether it's scissors, knives, even sharp tables, genuinely anything, I get paranoid everytime I watch anything like cartoons, or certain designs because I'm scared it'll make me go insane or freak out. Almost All the music I listen to freaks me out as well. I used to be very interested in history, especially military history and war movies, video games, etc, but everytime I see footage or these movies, weapons etc I get unbelievably stressed And anxious, and paranoid it'll just make me snap. I tell myself it's irrational and I don't want to do these things, which I genuinely don't want to do. But it's like my mind tells me other wise or the images get worse. I've been trying to spend more time with my family, with my son, but it feels so scary, I've been trying to ask for reassurance less because it's been putting a lot of tension on my relationship and our families. It's just miserable, I can't do the things I used to love doing, I can't listen to the music I love, I can't spend time with loved ones without these thoughts and it's just so horrible to live through, I don't know what to really do anymore, I'm trying my best. I want to be able to be the person I used to be, and I just feel like I'll never be this way again

feeling very triggered with my rocd, just saw a twitter thread where people were talking about how they can love the people in their life but they are not in love with them and it just leaves me questioning if i’m even in love with my partner. anyone have good exposure techniques for this? every time i say maybe i do maybe i don’t, i don’t notice any difference. my biggest problem with rocd is questioning if i’m in love with my partner, because i know i love her and care for her deeply but i question so much if i’m in love with her and i get freaked out

How and why does OCD make us feel like we want to do what our thoughts are?

I don't think it's ocd anymore. I'm convinced that I'm going to hell and there's nothing I can do. I don't want to i want to go to heaven. these thoughts are killing me. I can't do this anymore.