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OCD can take a lot away from a person, because they are consistently living in fear. It's difficult to do anything you enjoy, or to feel any motivation at all to accomplish goals. What has OCD stopped you from doing?

My OCD at the moment is related to suicidal OCD. I've never attempted suicide and genuinely don't want to hurt myself. It began when I was having existential OCD & I was thinking things like "what if my family and loved ones aren't real" etc. Became pretty depressing thoughts. Through some self ERP I've been able to start recovering from the Existential OCD but one day it started to come back and I had an intrusive thought "Can you live the rest of your life like this" and "What if life is meaningless". It scared me into to thinking maybe I was becoming suicidal and made me super anxious. Started googling Suicidal Ideation vs Suicidal OCD and spun out of control a bit. Now, when trying to practice ERP for Suicidal OCD I've read scripts, held knifes and stopped doing most of my compulsions but when the thought comes up and I'm NOT anxious I associate it with me Wanting to hurt myself. Like, if I'm not anxious while having the intrusive thoughts it makes me feel like maybe that's what I actually want to do 😭 Its so distressing. I've literally never been suicidal my while life even after living with ocd for years. I don't want to K*ll myself. I don't want the people around me to worry that I will. I want to heal from my Existential OCD completely but now with depression and Suicidal OCD it feels more difficult 😢 How do you do ERP for Suicidal thoughts when you're afraid it'll affirm them and lead you to eventually do it?

does anyone else spend a ton of time wondering if they are a toxic/manipulative/abusive/etc friend? slash googling qualities of a codependent/otherwise toxic friendship … and i feel like i can’t trust myself to judge whether or not i meet the criteria, since a bad person would probably think too highly of themself/not recognize they are toxic

Hey trigger warning here because idk if this is considered assault. So I’m really freaking out- I just remembered that 3 years ago I was with my boyfriend sleeping in his bed. I guess I was having a dream about him sexually and then I wake up to me accidentally giving him a hand job (in my sleep) and he pushes my hand away (probably in his sleep too) I’m horrified by this now, although I hadn’t thought to be until now and idek what to think. He was my first real sexual attraction and it was all very new to me so I guess I didn’t realize that this could be serious. We haven’t even talked in 3 years and things ended badly so I don’t think there’s any way to apologize to him. But I’m feeling very guilty rn and don’t know what to do at all I would never want to do this to someone intentionally but I’m worried it could happen again especially because I do have sexual dreams still and experience pleasure in my dreams by myself. And I’m worried about him now if this could have been traumatic for him even if he was asleep too. This hurts

Does hocd cause erectile dysfunction?

This guy I’m speaking to has a view and opinion that I can’t agree with, irs one I really really dislike and I made it very apparent. But am I to dislike him because of a view he has? He as a person he’s a lovely guy, but it’s just this one view that I’ve even had an argument about it with him, and it’s the only thing keeping me from being able to see myself with him because of it. I don’t want to hate someone for their options, even though it’s an incredibly old fashioned and backwards view, it doesn’t show anything on me dose it? Like it’s not my opinion, its not what I think it’s him. I try and forget about it when I’m talking to him but it’s now sitting with me. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a bad person for liking him, I don’t like his view and it strains my opinion on him a little, but it’s one against loads of other things. Idk I’m just worried

hey guys. wanted to share my story, hoping someone can relate and/or share theirs too (i'm a female, only ever been interested in dating boys). back when i was seventeen, i got a major breakdown and became riddled with anxiety when i was talking to a friend and they told me 'i should like girls'/'i should be with a girl'. i had never thought of that before, only had crushes on boys, never had been with anyone then. i was rushed to the ER with an anxiety crisis that jumped my heart rate to 200bpm, and followed up to that, i tried to implement things in my life that distracted me from my thoughts, like hanging out with friends. eventually, it faded away. but once in a while, i would get triggers of it, which would last for a few days, then fade away again. i never contemplated that it could be a form of OCD, as i never had any lights on what OCD was truly like (besides what we typically hear about OCD, the stereotypes of OCD sufferers being about cleaning and such). when i was twenty - and this happened during the transition to the pandemics, btw - i was going through some health issues and started performing compulsions related to health anxiety (it was never about covid, though, i was fine with it, i just thought i had cancer or something up in my head provoking pain that the doctors were dismissing - there was never anything, i did all the exams, my anxiety was provoking the pain and eventually it went away). a month later, i woke up in the middle of the night and was watching a video from one of my fav youtubers where she said she found out she liked girls too and that triggered my doubts once again. it was then, and during my online searching (which i shouldn't have done, but hey, that's what brings us here too!) that i realized OCD could be something i was suffering from. it was something that brought me some calm, as i realized that i could clearly identify some patterns and obsessions that weren't singled out (i mean, it was not only about my sexuality, as i spent the months before thinking i was gonna die of cancer and constantly looking up what i was feeling and what it meant). i've read - A LOT - about OCD, HOCD and therapy. i guess i thought i could deal with this on my own and for the past two years i was in fact able to shrug it off and accept the uncertainty. about a month ago, i had major changes in my life and felt like i lost a sense of who i am in terms of identity (job, college, etc). HOCD crawled back in. everything suddenly felt like a potential trigger. for the past few weeks i've been able to calm it down, remembering the steps i took before (reminding myself that thoughts are not always real or equal to my feelings, getting distracted) but sometimes i feel conflicted that the fact that i'm reacting in a less anxious way might mean i'm accepting my thoughts and i trigger anxiety back in when i think about that. does this make sense? i try to look at this in a rational way and ignore the intrusive thoughts. for instance, i think the reason why HOCD became a theme again is because i was also struggling with my relationship (which ended a few days ago) and i noticed a pattern here: back in 2020, i was also in a relationship that was doomed, and had daily doubts about whether or not i should continue in a relationship with the boy. rationally, i know it's not about sexuality - i've liked boys in the past years, i've been in relationships and i knew when it had to end due to communication or effort issues, even if it pained me to take the step and actually do it. i think my brain is tricking me now, telling me that because the relationship didn't work and that because i was disappointed with this boy it means that i should give up on only-liking-boys and try it with girls? (btw, have you guys heard of heteropessimism?) i never wanted to do that, but my brain is telling me i should and it's kind of a FOMO, which is ridiculous - at the same time, rationally i recognize that i'm just looking for validation. for example, i'm talking with male friends and wondering if i find them attractive, which is a compulsion i don't want to perform! i know i'm heartbroken and i'm just conflicted with the 'what ifs', which we know is the problem here, and that it might be OCD taking advantage of this vulnerable moment in my life. can you guys share your thoughts?

I’m trying to forget about this problem (I have beeen worrying because when I tested myself by deliberately imagining the intrusive thought it felt like I liked the feeling of imagining doing that action in the intrusive thought, the thoughts are about smothering) I’m trying to forget about it but I get triggered all the time, I got into a habit of constantly imagining the smothering thought to ‘check’ and just now I was scrolling on tiktok and there was a video of a parrot and my head thought of the smothering thought and then it felt like I ‘liked the feeling’ of smothering the Parrot when I imagined it but I don’t know if it’s the anxiety that’s making it feel like that but i don’t even know if it’s anxiety anymore because it’s not super strong anxiety but I’m just confused, after it felt like I would ‘like the feeling of smothering the parrot’ I scrolled away and then scrolled back to the video to continue deliberately imagining the thought until it feels like i ‘don’t like the feeling’ so I can continue with my dad, but when I initially saw the video with the parrot it’s like I remember the thought because I saw his beak and it suddenly felt like ‘I like the feeling of imagining squashing the parrot till it stops breathing’ (sorry that sounds horrible) but I don’t know how to explain it and the fact that that feeling exists I don’t know what to do because sometimes I will get reminded of the thought and that feeling and then feel like I have to test myself in the thought or jsut instantly it will feel like ‘I like the feeling’ I don’t know what to do , that feeling feels extremely real and the fact it makes me feel like I like the feeling of doing that makes it more real and I’m starting to believe I actually like the feeling of smothering ans it’s really scary

I just keep getting intrusive feelings constantly when I see actors and boxers… as well as the constant intrusive thoughts… the intrusive thoughts and feelings are automatic… please help me…

I feel like I am going crazy. I can't calm myself down. I have barely slept since Thursday, I can't really eat because I am feeling so sick. I know I got through it before but right now I don't feel I can get better if I don't immediately break up with my partner. I know I know you shouldn't do big decisions when in such a bad state, but I am really really desperate.. I am afraid of going to the hospital for my mental health right now because I am afraid they will tell me that I need to break up if it's causing me so much stress..

Yesterday morning was such a great day I wasn’t having as many intrusive thoughts and for once I felt normal I legit almost wanted to cry and thanked god because for once it all fault clear and as the day progressed I was feeling awful and uncertain. Now I’m stressed that I don’t feel anything because of my intrusive thoughts but my body is still reacting (groinal response) I’m stressed out that I’ve probably convinced myself I’m an actual p***. I’m 100% convinced I’ll do something bad if left alone with a kid and I’m stressing out. How do I know I’m not a p*** in denial??? I know I don’t want to do these things but it feels like I do. Why don’t I feel anything anymore? Has the anxiety become so overwhelming that my emotions have completely shut down? I feel like a person who has no emotions which isn’t like me. This doesn’t feel real.

man, i’m scared. a theme of mine is fear i’m becoming schizophrenic. it mostly comes in noticing the way people say things and assuming it’s a charged attack. I used to be able to blame it on trauma of past events that made me feel like less, but now i’m questioning if i’m actually becoming schizophrenic. Because it’s getting to where i’m doing mad research and other compulsions but i keep seeing more and more things that i resonate with about schizophrenia and then like how the age I am now (22) is right around when it can present itself. I HATE THIS. this stuff is so hard. i’m almost positive it’s all just OCD but like…. ya know. is it? especially when every social situation i’m in now i feel like i’m being sized up? even my family and friends. but is that just cause i’m hyper aware rn because of giving in to all the OC’s recently? or is it the onset of schizophrenia? sorry for the rant. I just so badly want to be heard.

Not in a literal sense but more of the fact about whether or not my feelings are genuine. My theme right now is having covert narcissism and i feel like whenever I’m sad it’s fake or for personal gain. It’s also hard for me to deal with treatment because all I’m thinking about is whether or not the problem is covert narcissism and if my life would even be better without OCD help since i already have this issue. When i have a bad thought, labeling it as OCD isn’t good enough anymore because now it’s possibly NPD. I can’t get out of this cycle and nothing is enjoyable due to the way i now view myself which is a helpless case that will always have low-self esteem and a lack of empathy. I also want to mention that with this type of NPD I’m scared of the people who have it are general miserable and are aware of their insecure self. This to me makes everything 100x worse because i can’t even have the gratification of realizing i have issues because the people with covert NPD already do.

What i sent to him " I feel guilty for answer I'm sorry babe I just wanted to answer his question I'm sorry don't be mad at meI thought he was going to flirt with me so I answered him so I could make babe jealous but now I feel guilty and my ocd is making me feel like I chested because I did that I'm sorry I answered him I only answered because I thought he would flirt and I wanted babe jealous because your hor when jealous I'm so sorry I feel so guilty nowI swear that was the only reason I'm so sorry I feel so fucking guilty I wasn't going to flirt back with him if he did I'm so fucking sorry I swear babe I just wanted to get you jealous I feel so guilty my ocd is making me feel like I cheated I swear that's the only reason I replied I wasn't going to flirt back I'm so fucking sorry I feel so guilty i my ocd is making me feel like I cheated I'm sorry babe" I feel so guilty bro what is yhis ehy did I do this I keep hurting him wtf after I sent that I ended up throwing up I'm back to where I started throwing up over my ocd thoughts I feel so guilty bro someone help I was doing just fine I feel so fucking guilty someone help me what is this I'm scatedbevrything was fine till I reply to a dm from a guy I only thought the guy was going to flirt so I answered so I can make babe jealous I wasn't going to flirt back I swear I'm scared he's going to break up eith me I'm so scared

I’m asking here because I don’t want to over indulge my research compulsion right now. I am not pregnant but the topic of having children has been huge for me and my partner this year. I’m recently OCD diagnosed and it just occurred to me that I could see myself having extremely difficult Postpartum Depression. I thought I’d simply ask this community to get a general idea and then try and leave it at that for now.

Hey guys. Hope everyone is doing alright on here ❤️ I’ve got another tip for you. “Do the opposite of what your OCD says” We all know how painful it can be when OCD latches on to something we care about or love. It’s devastating. In some cases, it may make us completely doubt what we were before, who we thought we were - a complete identity crisis. And that identity crisis - brings us further away from our values. I had a particularly bad case of sexual orientation OCD. I had always been straight my whole life, and I became convinced I was actually gay and in denial of it. It sucked - especially since I had always wanted a boyfriend. My people out there with HOCD - you’ll get this. Anyways, I decided that I was going to pretend as if my OCD spirals about my sexuality had never happened.. and so I signed up for a dating app and started dating MEN. Even though I legitimately was so confused about it. And I met a great guy and we went on some dates. Mind you, I had so many doubts through this process - but I decided to keep going. And you know what happened after I went on a date with him? My HOCD had never been quieter. And so I invite you to do what I did - Call OCD’s bluff. Say, “You know what?? Let me see what you got, OCD. Because I am strong enough to handle this. I can do this.” So the next time it’s telling you to hide, to avoid - think about what the opposite of that would be and do it as best you can.* *just a disclaimer- make sure you’re keeping in mind the severity of your particular case and not jumping into an exposure that would be too much. I had to work up to this for a couple of months. But it’s the principle that stands - you can still call OCD’s bluff on a smaller scale too. Sending love as always ❤️ You guys got this.

Hey guys, I'm posting this be I haven't seen much about it online and I hope I can either find helpful perspectives or someone who relates to my story. As per my last two boyfriends I've had debilitating rocd that certain actions I do are cheating. It can be anything. ANYTHING. It's like l'll be in the middle of doing something and my mind will tell me l'm moving my body in a sexual way or if I say this word it's flirting (even if the word isn't sexual at all like "almost"). Or I can be talking to someone and my mind will intrusively say something sexual about them and l'Il have an involuntary groinal response and if I stay in the conversation (whilst trying my BEST to ignore it) I'Il feel anxious afterwards like I cheated. Or my mind will say I can't watch this video on yt because I find the creator attractive and if I watch it I'm giving them another "view" therefore I cheated or did something wrong. It's like my mind over analyzes EVERYTHING. It's gotten so bad to where my ocd controlled my breathing; I'll be breathing and my mind will intrusively think of "sending" that breath of air to some imaginary person in a adulterous way and therefore I cheated or did something bad. Long story short, this is COMPLETELY debilitating. I want to have a healthy relationship without having panic attacks everyday, over analyzing my past actions, scared that I just cheated on my partner. I hate it. I am aware of how severe and irrational my rocd is which is why I joined NOCD. Please, anyone with any advice, relatability, anything help. Thank you.

my rocd is going insane. it always finds a new thing to question and try to figure out. i started reading the book “overthinking about you” which is about relationships when having ocd and anxiety. the first chapter was about breaking up and one sentence said that “if you’re romantic feelings have left, then it’s time to break up” or something along those lines. it heavily triggered me last night and i went to bed knowing it would be all that’s on my mind today and it has been. im now wondering if i even have romantic feelings with my girlfriend or i ever did. how does one even figure that out when they’ve been in their relationship for over a year and do NOT want to break up. i know i love her, i know our relationship is what i’ve always wanted and she meets all my needs and wants but why the constant questioning. why can’t i be secure in my love and feelings for her

Does any one else really struggle with contamination ocd? For me I struggle with laundry and feeling like it’s not clean enough, and taking a shower. My showers go on for close to an hour because I feel like I didn’t wash enough or it needs to be a certain amount of times. I also struggle when it comes to the bathroom and compulsively wiping. The hand washing and the anxiety just take up so much of the day and it really drains me. I have been struggling with ocd for years and have been working with a therapist with it but it still feels so consuming. I started taking medication, but everything still feels so overwhelming, and dreadful. I was wondering if anyone could relate, because I’ve been feeling really alone with the severe contamination ocd.

Has my one dealt with OCD around driving, especially on the highway? If so, what has helped you? Thanks!