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Do you have many people to talk to about your OCD? I wish my husband was more understanding about it. Does anyone else feel like they can't talk to their spouse about it?

I feel like If I don't tell someone something I'll go crazy and I can't talk to to my family or friends I am to scared that they will hate me if that did happen I couldn't take it I'm so scared I just downloaded this app and I don't know much about ocd except what iv watched on YouTube and read online why am I don't even know why I'm trying this I just want to be ok the last few days have been the worst I do my best to act normal around my family but I can tell I'm not do that good of a job I can't stop crying when I'm alone i soon know what to do with my self I'm so fucked sorry for this rable Idk if this even helped I know I'm not supposed to ask for reassurance sorry

I was supposed to get my second COVID vaccine this weekend that I had been putting off for a while due to horrible anxiety. I ended up getting the stomach flu so I have to postpone it again… In the meantime I have been spiraling about getting the shot. My thoughts are constantly “you are going to die. You are going to get heart inflammation. It’s documented that people have died from it and you will be one of them” it literally feels like getting it will be the end of my life. I have spent the past few days crying all day long about how it will be the end for me. I feel like I can’t handle getting it and knowing that I could be about to get a potentially deadly side effect. Does anyone have any advice? I’ve ceased all compulsions like googling, etc but even setting a new appointment sends me into doomsday panic. I’m leaving on my honeymoon in a month and I don’t know what to do. Thank you for any help you can give.

POCD has ruined my life. I am a shell of who i once was. not a do goes by without intrusive thoughts telling me i’m a P. I was molested at 3 and i still have such vivid memories about it. i remember everything. I’m 24 now. Being molested led me to believe that doing that with other children was okay, and now i obsess about one event that happen when i was 9 or 10 with an 8yr old. I was also SA by my brother and i feel so bad for still loving him no matter what. he’s my brother, you know? I really just needed to get this off my chest and talk about it somewhere. I’m currently taking 250g Zoloft and trying to find a therapist in network. Please if you have any advice please help.

I have been have the same headache for a week now. I have never had a headache for this long before and it is really scaring me. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago about my thyroid turns out i was fine. Now I made another appointment about my headaches. I am terrified I have a brain tumour. My family all laugh at me and don’t take me seriously anymore when I see i am worried I have this, because all the times i thot i was dying i wasn’t. But this time feels way to real and so concerning. I don’t wanna die and I am scared I have a tumour but no one not even my doctor will end up taking me seriously because I am always making appointments for a new thing. But what if I do have one and everyone just sees me as the boy who cried wolf.

Hi I’m getting my masters in clinical mental health counseling and have a research project to do. I myself have OCD. I wanted to get some input from others on what they believe is the reason for their ocd. Such as; 1)Trauma -physical -emotional -sexual 2)Genetics 3)other Also what age did you see symptoms/ get diagnosed? Thank you!

I really need advice, i need help to be able to differentiate my feelings

It's so difficult for me to find women attractive now because of the simple fact of not knowing their age before hand. I remember seeing a movie with Jennifer Lopez and she looked really nice in that movie but I just kept thinking maybe she wasn't of age when she was in her 40s in that movie. Same applies to a fictional character that I find attractive, but I get worried and thoughts that say what if that's a teenager and not an adult and it's just bothersome all the time. It's the only reason for the ruminating. Then I question myself is it wrong if I truly think it's an adult woman as opposed to knowing it's not an adult woman but still being attracted?

Hi, my ocd is starting to make me think I have feelings for a male coworker I barely interact or talk to 😔 Keep in mind I love my bf and he has a significant other too. I have no actual urge to cheat or be innapropriate (Even if we were both songle, I'm strongly against workplace dating anyways) l'm not sure how to deal with this appropriately. Any advice or suggestions. This is also my last post on here.

What made you personally download the NOCD app? Curious what brought you here - was it for the therapy, the community, the resources, or all?

If you could go back in time, whether that's to last week, last year, or ten years ago, and impart some knowledge or advice on your old self - what would you say? I went 19 years with untreated OCD. It impaired my life in ways I'm still learning as I navigate recovery. If I could go back, I would tell myself to seek out ERP much sooner and remind myself that I'm stronger than I think.

Hi everyone, this is my first post on this app! My OCD manifests in severe skin picking, which has gone on for about 5 or 6 years now. I don’t know how to stop, my go to places I pick are my chest and shoulders, I have so many scars and I get so self conscious if I’m wearing something that shows skin, because i feel gross. Does anybody have any tips or recommendations on things to try? I am so desperate to stop, but I literally cannot control it😭 (I also notice I tend to pick extra bad when I’m tired, stressed, or anxious). I seriously appreciate any advice you all can give!!

Does anxiety play scenario or scenes in your head that you never had before ?? About a thought you have? That you never had before ?

So I take Zoloft. I haven’t missed a single pill since I started it back in august. I take once a day typically at night. I DONT REMEMBER IF I TOOK IT TONIGHT and now I’m FREAKING OUT. So afraid that if I miss one dose the depression will come back. And if I take one because I don’t remember taking it, If having double the pill will cause me harm or give me wack symptoms. I don’t know what to do but I’m scared and freaking out. I used to tell my mother, if you don’t remember taking your pill, you probably didn’t take it. But like. AHHHHHH

Hi all, I’m newly diagnosed with OCD, and the path to treatment seems kinda overwhelming. For those taking meds, how do you know when they are working? What should I expect in ERP therapy (or other forms of CBT)? Thanks!

I’ve never tried posting in this community or any online community for that matter, but my girlfriend of 8 years just told me she wanted to take a weeklong break 3 days ago. I know a week isn’t long and I believe everyone deserves space when they need it, I’ve been trying to give it to her. We’ve still ended up texting everyday (I made a rule with myself that I’d only text her if she texted me, so that the space is there if she wants it). These obviously aren’t our normal texts, the coldness and having to pretend this isn’t my other-half of 8 years is killing me. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I’m almost positive I have rocd reocd. Ive been the type to make up problems in my head and obsess over them until I have to share my thoughts with her, this usually upsets her and we have a fight. She’s amazing, and I’d do anything for her, but shes not the reassuring type when I’m panicking about our relationship (not that that’s her responsibility). I have this awful feeling that when we talk about it after this week, she’s going to ask to just be friends. For some reason I just can’t do this, I can’t keep conversing this way with the woman Ive planned my life away with, I can’t keep living in this hell. I know that my delusions will get better once we move in together as they completely go away when we stay together, but I can’t help but feel that she’ll doubt this and want to break up anyway. As dramatic as I feel saying this, these last few days have been torture on my heart and mind. I can’t eat, and when I do I throw up and dry heave, I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 days. My whole day is filled with random panic attacks and an inability to remain present and focused for more than 5 minutes. The panic attacks get much worse at night, not allowing me to sleep, and I just keep fearing the worst and obsessing over what I’m going to say or do to show her I’m serious about making this work. I’ve contacted two counselors and am meeting with one tomorrow, but I just don’t know what to do right now. I really appreciate anyone who read all this I just needed to put it somewhere.

Has anyone come to the conclusion that your parents also have OCD? My father is showing real signs, but he’s in his 70s and kind of blows off the notion of having it. I’ve seen different opinions on if it’s hereditary. Any thoughts?

I’ve never tried posting in this community or any online community for that matter, but my girlfriend of 8 years just told me she wanted to take a weeklong break 3 days ago. I know a week isn’t long and I believe everyone deserves space when they need it, I’ve been trying to give it to her. We’ve still ended up texting everyday (I made a rule with myself that I’d only text her if she texted me, so that the space is there if she wants it). These obviously aren’t our normal texts, the coldness and having to pretend this isn’t my other-half of 8 years is killing me. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I’m almost positive I have rocd reocd. Ive been the type to make up problems in my head and obsess over them until I have to share my thoughts with her, this usually upsets her and we have a fight. She’s amazing, and I’d do anything for her, but shes not the reassuring type when I’m panicking about our relationship (not that that’s her responsibility). I have this awful feeling that when we talk about it after this week, she’s going to ask to just be friends. For some reason I just can’t do this, I can’t keep conversing this way with the woman Ive planned my life away with, I can’t keep living in this hell. I know that my delusions will get better once we move in together as they completely go away when we stay together, but I can’t help but feel that she’ll doubt this and want to break up anyway. As dramatic as I feel saying this, these last few days have been torture on my heart and mind. I can’t eat, and when I do I throw up and dry heave, I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 days. My whole day is filled with random panic attacks and an inability to remain present and focused for more than 5 minutes. The panic attacks get much worse at night, not allowing me to sleep, and I just keep fearing the worst and obsessing over what I’m going to say or do to show her I’m serious about making this work. I’ve contacted two counselors and am meeting with one tomorrow, but I just don’t know what to do right now. I really appreciate anyone who read all this I just needed to put it somewhere.

I keep reading stories about people who have suddenly died from heart attacks or cardiac arrests and it is freaking me out. I just read a story about Leslie Jordan’s official cause of death not realizing it would trigger me. I thought he died from a car crash but when i read the story it said he suffered from a “sudden cardiac dysfunction” and that caused him to crash the car. People in the comments are saying “so many people young and old have been dying lately”. And i cant help but agree with it because its true. There has been so many deaths lately ( mainly heart and stroke related on top of it). And then today i seen an article about Lisa Presleys frantic 911 call before her cardiac arrest and that triggered me. But these anti-Vaxxers are really getting to me. I believe it more and more every time i read a story about a “sudden cardiac arrest”. I keep telling myself that Leslie Jordan had a previous condition, Lisa Presley had a family history of heart conditions, and even bringing up Damar Hamlin again, i know that he was tackled and thats what caused his. I keep telling myself that it’s a super odd coincidence that these all happened close together but then the anti-Vaxxers get in my head about just random people. Why are all these random people young and old having cardiac arrests? I just read a story about a 7 year old in a coma after suffering cardiac arrest. And everytime i read a comment about its all related to the Covid vaccine i actually believe it because it just seems so weird that there has been so many things happening lately. Not to mention that yesterday i was completely fine. I was finally veering away from my heart disease fear and now im sucked back in. 😭😭

About 2 weeks ago my best friend of 5 years and I had a falling out and haven’t really spoken to one another since. Context: My intrusive thoughts had been slowly intensifying for months, but I felt that my not OCD-specific CBT every week was adequate means to controlling them. However, I woke up one morning consumed by the fear that the only people who could ever/currently do love me is on the condition that I am quiet about my OCD. My brain is a scary place and I never want to cause harm to someone I care about by exposing them to that. I felt I had it under control until my best friend texted and asked to come over. I told her I was having a hard mental day and just needed to be alone. She was insistent on being present with me in the moment to be supportive, and I knew in that moment that I couldn’t mask what I was feeling. That she would see the most raw and unfiltered version of myself, and that only made me feel more scared. She showed up to my apartment anyway, and because of my friend’s nature, I knew refusing to let her in would only raise more concern with the potential of a wellness check. I didn’t want that, so I let her in. While she was here she asked me multiple times if I could just tell her what I was thinking in hopes she could help. I told her repeatedly didn’t want to talk because what I didn’t feel in control of my thoughts and what I had to say wouldn’t be good. With every ask I could feel the adrenaline in my body and the compulsions getting more intense, until she took out a guided therapy journal and I snapped. I didn’t snap in anger towards her, but just in the frustration of feeling my compulsions getting stronger and ultimately like the rational parts of myself lost control. I told her about my fear of no one loving me despite having OCD and that if anyone saw me at low points like this, they’d be both traumatized and angry with me for traumatizing them. That I am able to have this close friendship with her because in 5 years she had never seen me like this, and that if I continued to unmask my OCD like I was right then, she would no longer want anything to do with me. When I said this she stormed out of my apartment in anger. I texted her and apologized for upsetting her enough to leave and that we could work that out when I was feeling better about my own situation (note that I was crying, shaking, and fighting the built up adrenaline of wanting to cause harm still and wasn’t in the headspace to rationally discuss our interaction). She responded with many paragraphs, saying that I hurt her and she didn’t deserve me thinking that poorly of her as a person. Seeing by how upset she was I tried really hard to pull myself together and make things right with her. I apologized for what I did and clarified that I don’t see her in that negative regard she interpreted. That I instead care about and respect her too much to put her through my mental mess and deserves to have best friends that won’t hurt or blow up on her. That she’s so strong and self-assured that she would see my low points as attempts at manipulation and leave me for someone who doesn’t treat her like that. Because I obviously over-explain it ended up being multiple paragraphs of letting my guard down and trying to make sense of what was happening. Like I said it’s been 2 weeks and she hasn’t spoken to me, and I don’t know what to do. I feel I have said everything I possibly could to make things right. At this point I feel like this whole situation has kinda proved my original fears, too. That if I was open about my OCD and let people see me at my worst, then they would be angry with me and want nothing to do with me. We were each other’s go-to person for 5 years and suddenly one bad day and I’m nothing to her. Oh well :/