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working to conquer OCD
OCD is "ego-dystonic", which means the behaviors (thoughts) are inconsistent with one's fundamental beliefs and values. I think of it as "the mind isn't matching the soul" - which creates the high distress you experience when the thoughts occur. Because they do not match your beliefs. You are so much more than your thoughts!
I find it very difficult to sit with thoughts or just let them be there especially when my OCD is purely based on mental rituals. For example, if I try to let a thought (that is causing me stress) come into my mind it’s almost impossible for me to let it sit there without my brain automatically trying to solve it or gain relief. It’s as though my brain does this without me really realising - probably from years of training it to do this - I’m just wondering if anyone knows of any other things I could try? I think this is why I find ERP quite difficult as I really try to let the thought sit there but my brain automatically tries to solve it no matter how much I’m trying…
I’ve been experiencing elevated heart rates, low blood pressure, weakness, fatigue, and dizziness. I made an appointment to see a doctor and they took my blood. The results said I have low iron, but the doctor doesn’t even know if that’s the cause. I’m concerned I’m making my symptoms up in my head, and I’m scared I won’t be able to know if my symptoms are getting worse because I think I’m making them up. My dad is no help, my whole life he mentions that it might be all in my head.
It’s like the more I research my symptoms, the more I’m like well maybe I don’t have ocd, and maybe I am just a messed up individual from all the past Trauma and I’ve wasted so much time researching ocd the last week and what if I really don’t have it? I’m so frustrated.
To start off, I'm new to the whole ROCD thing and I'm seeing a therapist but she doesn't specialize in OCD or ERP. I can't find any OCD specialists or people who do ERP near me and It's too expensive to do online. I feel like I'm just stuck so I'm asking for tips. To start off, I have an amazing, loving boyfriend who would do absolutely anything for me. However, I find myself constantly having the ROCD thoughts such as "You don't actually love him" "There's someone out there better for you" "You don't actually find him attractive" and such. One of the worst ones is sometimes I get scared or uncomfortable because I randomly think he's built like a child (he's just a shorter,skinnier guy) and I've had intrusive POCD thoughts before so it's really throwing me off and I don't know what to do. I recently told him I needed a break from our relationship, but my brain was yelling at me to break up. I think it was fear driven and my brain was just so foggy I couldn't decipher the truth from the fake thoughts anymore. I realized during a few days apart how much I absolutely cherished this man and wanted to be with him and how much I missed him, but I talked to him last night and all the negative thoughts came FLOODING back. I've been trying not to ruminate or give in on my compulsions (mainly searching google about everything) but I'm back to the point where I'm feeling all those thoughts I said above again. I really love him, and I don't want to lose him but I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm absolutely desperate for help at this point, I can't imagine my life without him but my brain wants him gone so so badly. My heart and my brain are fighting. If anyone has any tips, please please let me know. I'm at one of my lowest points right now.
I can’t figure out if my belief about something is rational. I can take a wild guess it’s not, but my brain physically can’t accept that I’m okay with not knowing. It’s about an action of mine. I watched porn on this website called Bellesa, it’s ethically sourced porn but they also have other videos from porn companies there and advertise other porn companies. I accidentally clicked an advertisement that was on their website that linked me to the other porn company and it popped up on my phone. The problem is that other porn companies name makes me very uncomfortable. Whilst it’s a normal company, where reputable actors work, it’s name doesn’t sit right with me. Realistically, I know any normal person wouldn’t give this a second thought but it’s gotten stuck in my brain. It’s now making me feel like the whole action is something that affects my moral character.
This one time I got an intrusive feeling that I liked the thoughts and I didn’t. I’m scared of getting that feeling again and I worry about what if I did again. I hate the thoughts and I definitely don’t like them but these intrusive feelings suck and is one of the hardest things to get over :/
Trying to not give into my thoughts right now, but it’s really overpowering. But I am stronger even if I don’t believe it right now or it’s hard to believe my logic is in there and I know it’s ocd ! I have to just breathe through this.
I’ve been struggling with this theme where I wonder if my bf ever r*ped me. For some time now . It has ruined my life . And now people are saying coercion is r*pe . There was coercion sometimes in me and my bf relationship but I never felt like it was r*pe . Maybe there’s a spectrum of coercion. I hope so bc I don’t think my bf is a r*pist and it breaks my heart. I’ve triggered bc people told me coercion is r*pe . A moment of stuck on is one time , my bf wanted to me to try anal while we were already in the act of sex and I was no I’m scared to tried it but he was persuading me so I gave in and he went slow and now this is the tricky part … I “rmeebr “ a moment that I feel like maybe it’s a false memeory tied on to a real event but it feels like it happened but I’m also not quite sure but ima just say : while we were attempting to do anal I said ok I’m done and then he was like let me stick it in some more and I let him and when I was like alright I’m done bc that’s a far as I going to go he stopped . I feel like this happened but not exactly sure how it happened. But even if it did I feel like it’s not r*pe bc he did stop . Yes he was like “let me stick it in some more” . This theme is ruining my life .
There’s a question that’s been in my mind about OCD for quite some time now, before my diagnosis. Back then when I went through tough moments in life I dealt with depression & some anxiety here and there. I remember having habits or compulsions I guess you could say, but they weren’t always debilitating or provoking thought that I had ocd because if I didn’t do these things I’d be fine. Granted that recently I have gone through a great amount of stress and change in life, I now live alone and not at my mothers house, is it possible for you to form new subtypes of OCD after traumatic events and high stressful anxiety inducing moments? Sometimes I don’t even think I have OCD and am just going through really tough times recently. An answer to a post recently got me thinking.
hello, i recovered from sexuality ocd about 5 years ago and my ocd is coming back. not in the form of sexuality ocd more in the form of rocd. i have the sweetest most amazing boyfriend and my brain tries to convince me i don’t love him. some days i’m fine even great, then other days i am terrible. today was a terrible day, i just felt like i should give up. recovering from sexuality ocd on my own was extremely hard but this feels even worse. losing someone i love so much is my biggest fear. the way he holds me makes me feel safe, his eyes are beautiful, his smile is even better. he tries to understand me and he holds me even if i sound crazy (which he always says i don’t) i just want to get better for us. i want to be strong but i feel so weak. i am terrified to start therapy as i believe they will tell me i don’t have ocd and I’m lying and i really don’t love my boyfriend. i know it’s not true i know it but it just feels so real.
Anyone else feel like their worst ocd theme is harm? I have several themes but I’d rather experience any of mine than my harm ocd. When I get anxious over my harm ocd, I’m miserable but when I don’t get anxious, my ocd latches on to “oh so you like this? Could you do this? Do you want to?” Ugh. I just hope someone understands or can respond bc I’m in a bad flare and just want to know I’m not alone 😔. Mine was personally triggered by the Idaho murder thing that I keep seeing on Tik tok. I made myself watch dateline about it for ERP so I’m sitting with all the anxiety right now and I can’t stop ruminating. He had OCD (the criminal who did it) so of course that has me legit spiraling. 😣😣😣😣
Does anyone have recommended tips or tricks for stopping their ruminating compulsion? I’m stuck on the hamster wheel and would like to get off now.
I feel so many discussions of SO-OCD revolve around (mostly) straight identifying people fearing they are gay, or the reverse. But has anyone who identifies as bisexual or queer experienced SO-OCD? I am a woman married to a man, and while my sexual orientation has been reasonably fluid since I was in my teens, I have consistently felt a preference for men, and never felt the need to put a label on my identity (including straight) - and I’ve never hidden the fact that I’ve had flings with women. About three years ago I had the “brain broke” moment where I suddenly out of nowhere thought: “I am bisexual, I have been masquerading as straight since I’m married to a man, and I have to come out to everyone I know.” It was all I could think about. The fact that I felt shame accompanying it made me fear that I might be using the term bisexual to cover up the fact that I was actually gay. It particularly messes with my head because OCD is characterised as “unwanted” thoughts, but actually I am occasionally attracted to people of other genders, so these thoughts are not always unwanted. Which makes me wonder whether I am just in denial, and I don’t have OCD at all? And thus the cycle continues… Would just love to hear from anyone else if they relate to this!
Anyone else fear intrusive thoughts? I feel like my brain is stuck bc am so scared. I thought what if I want to act on my thoughts and I like it. I’ve checked to see if I was anxious enough while getting a thought. Felt guilty for questioning if I would act/ like a thought. Felt numb. Over analysed every thought. Thought what if my ocd tells me to do something bad. What if I plan something. Extreme fear of having Matt thoughts after this incase I accidentally think something on purpose. What if I am a bad person. What if all my thoughts aren’t what if. What if am using ocd as an excuse to have intrusive thoughts. Am so scared/ starting to feel numb. Scared to do anything incase I get intrusive thoughts scared to not do something incase it means I want to sit and think about the thoughts. Feel like I can’t cope and acted am going to get locked up for having intrusive thoughts.
how do y’all handle having a crush when you have ocd and severe anxiety? idk i just feel just super anxious ab it. especially the uncertainty of like being in the “talking stage”
I’ve always been a huge feminist, anti-racist, anti-sexual assaulters, etc. Basically against everybody anti-human rights. But because my OCD has been trying to convince me that I’m a sexual assaulter, a pedophile, racist, etc. (basically everything that goes against my morals), it also tries to tell me that I should sympathize with people I used to be against. Sometimes I’ll read about, say, teens committing sexual assault, and in the past I would have firmly said “they need to be punished”, whereas now I think “well, what if they didn’t know better? I made a mistake when I was a teen; what if they thought it was okay?” I never say these out loud because I dont want to make real victims feel bad, obviously. And if I hear someone has been racist, I’ll think, “What if they’re like me?” I still believe we need to eradicate sexual assault, racism, homophobia, etc, but I can’t help but think I’m a part of the problem, so sometimes I find myself sympathizing with “bad people”. It’s really messing my mind up. I don’t know what to think. Does anyone feel the same way or have any tips?
So a over a month ago I had extremely bad health anxiety/OCD, I always was convinced I was dying but I never had a single doubt about my fiancée, I was scared of dying because I didn't want to lose our life together. I was then diagnosed with POTS, and the health anxieties dimished, but as soon as that did, something in my brain told me "you dont love him anymore" it startled me so much, I didn't understand what I was experiencing, it made me extremely nauseous and panicky, questioning my life. I so badly want to go back to the way it was before, I was so happy. Most of my intrusive thoughts feel like imagery, imagining my life without him, or a thought in my head that I dont recognize him, and "youre falling out of love". I am now super numb, can barely feel anything and its making me think all of this is true. Its like a lightswitch went off and my entire life got flipped upside down. I am also experiencing depersonalization/derealization. I know I love him, I know I do, but now I feel this overwhelming numbness. Its also affecting how I see things I enjoy, I love horror movies, but something in my brain says I don't all the sudden. I know I enjoy like creating art, or having a fascination with bears but my brain is saying " you dont like that anymore" Why is it so convincing. I just want to feel like me again. Has anyone had a similar experience? Love to all❤️
I do not understand what is happening to me I fear it is some kind of psychosis or madness, but I am not hearing voices or anything. My mind is just random mess I can not track my thoughts or anything. My thoughts are making no sense and I actually can not recall them. I am feeling crazy and it is already 4 months now. I am really forgetful and I am not able to think about real life. I sometimes tell something and second after I dont remember saying that. My thoughts are all messy like I am crazy and I need to institutionalise myself, than I have thought that I actually can not describe what is happening to me because I feel like I have every disease. My thoughts are random and really make no sense to me at all. Nobody around me noticed anything but I feel nuts. I for example told my new girlfriend what I am going through and had thoughts that I should not have told her and that I am acting out of control. I am unable to relax or think or even study. Need help what to do because it looks like nothing is working.
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OCD doesn't have to
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