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I’m tired. Tired of having to control everything. I don’t want to control. But i’m scared that my HOCD is real and that if i let go of control i will hurt someone. How do i get the rumination to stop. I feel so numb right now

Why OCD feels so real?

I keep getting anxious about this one situation, I have all the facts and they all prove my ocd wrong but I’m still getting anxious about it even when the facts point to this thing not being true. It’s so scary because it’s a really serious thing, but I have all the facts and they point to it not being true but my ocd is still saying ‘what if?’ Someone help lol

I’m going on a cruise and I’m so nervous, I haven’t been out of my comfort zone for 3 years , I’m trying to stay calm and focus on the present and deal with it when it comes but I’m still anxious , what if I spike on there , what if I get Covid on there

Hello, I am currently in an LDR because of a semester abroad. Since then I've become increasingly stressed about my relationship, have strong break up urges or feel like something doesn't "feel right". Constantly analysing my feelings when we talk on the phone or I see a picture of him. I always had these thoughts in past relationships as well. I am just afraid it's real and it means I have to break up. I am so depressed. Any tips how to overcome my urges?

I’m so tired. It’s gotten to the point where sure. I don’t want to be gay. But if I am. I want to be able to accept it. Why can’t I accept it though ? I’ve even had moments where I’ve said ‘this is real. I am gay. There is no way this can’t be real’ but it comes with discomfort. If I am gay. Why can’t I accept it ?

to preface, my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a few months, but we have a much longer history as “friends” before that. anyways, he and i are both demisexual, meaning that we didn’t have any sexual interests with anyone else but each other, and only after we had made a feel connection together. he and i have been through lots of struggles, and at one point he accidentally led me on and he has apologized numerous times for. i know that he never ever meant to hurt me, but i can’t get over it. like it’s very weird. he told me he liked another girl three years ago and it broke my heart; she and i have dance class together and when i see her, i constantly compare myself to her. at our dance shows, i wonder if he’s just watching her. up until yesterday, i thought that i was the first kiss my bf ever had. i was wrong (he kissed a girl on the cheek playing spin the bottle in 7th grade) and for some reason that broke my heart. i know that it’s way before we dated (we’re seniors in high school now) and it doesn’t make sense for me to get upset, especially considering that i’ve kissed two other ex boyfriends before him. since he’s told me, it’s been hard for me to look into his eyes because all i can think about is her. i couldn’t let him touch me because i felt betrayed. when i look at his lips, all that i think about is them kissing her cheek. he’s told me he’s never felt anything to her and it was so stupid, but i can’t get it out of my head. he and i will be having a good time and then i look at him and think of it and i can’t look at him and i’m struggling to be able to connect with him. it’s like i have this mental barrier and i just cannot get over it. i ask him questions to make myself feel better because i feel like i have to know everything, so i think it’s ocd but i just want to get over it. i also want to add that being demisexual and even before i knew that i was, i have always felt that my body is a very sacred place. i don’t let people touch it a lot because it means a lot to me when that does happen. i literally thought that i was asexual until i began dating boyfriend. i have a such a hard time with the idea of him liking other people in the past and the kiss and i always ask him questions over it until i feel better and then i ask again later and it’s exhausting. thoughts?

Im having a really hard time lately with mental compulsions and counting. The mental compulsions are usually positive thoughts to counter any negative intrusive thoughts. I do compulsions in multiples of 6 positive thoughts, usually, with the 21st and 23rd compulsions feeling "just right" without a negative intrusive thought out of 24 total, or I start over. Then that snow balls into doing the multiples groups of 24, into hundreds. Ive been stuck on doing a certain amount of compulsions before the minute on the clock changes, pr trying to do them before someone finishes their sentence when talking to me. There are others too, but these have been the main things lately. The anxiety and urge can feel so "life or death", which is ridiculous because they are only thoughts. Im spending at least 12 to 16 hours per day doing this lately. Does anyone else have similar counting, or mental compulsion patterns? I was doing well for years, then hit a bad ocd phase a couple of months ago, and have been feeling worse. Ive started a new job recently, but the ocd is affecting my work and my relationships with loved ones. I know im not going to feel like this forever, and neither are you. I want my life back. Thanks for listening.

I hate having ocd as an artist. In some ways I think it’s stunted my growth. I’m an animation major, and I absolutely love drawing, but ocd instills this constant anxiety that everything I draw will turn out bad. It causes me to not want to pick up the pencil. Anyone relate?

Has anyone falsely confessed a memory bc when it popped in you thought it was real

Everywhere i read about "its ocd cause you have "what if" thoughts, what if i harm someone, what if i jump out the window, what if i like the opposite gender" and it drives me crazy cause when i have an ocd attack its not what if. Theres no what if, its like a command to do something bad, harm someone or myself, it feel like a feeling too that i should die, but when its over im just fine, i want to live. Expecially thats so hard when i feel like i dont want to ignore the thought, i want them. This should be clear now that is ocd just "what if" thoughts or it can be so agressive like you feel you want to do that, its like a command to do it, you even get thoughts why you should do it(like dying cause you had enough, harming someone cause it made you angry) cause sometimes it doesnt feel like ocd, i feel like im fighting with myself to not do those bad things...

I’m feeling so low. It’s making think of bad things. Would going to the hospital be helpful? I’m in the UK and not sure what to do

Is anyone on Zoloft for ocd? Does it help?

Hi, my name is Casie and I'm a Member Advocate at NOCD! I started therapy with NOCD back in 2020 because I was at one of my lowest points and knew I needed help. I learned so much and was able to find how to help myself, something I never imagined I could do. I also love creating art! So for anyone new here, we would love to meet you. Tell us what brought you to NOCD, and something special about yourself!

Does anyone have any tricks or things they say to themselves to stop them going back to check something (in my case the oven, plugs, anything that can start a fire, plants that could leak water (!) Lamps etc) it's just so difficult to jot check multiple times when j can't trust my own brain!!! I stand at the door trying to resist, and it's like ocd just makes me check?!

I am currently spiraling with a new theme that has hit me hard. Basically I’ve noticed that I think one of my co workers likes me and tends to blush when they are around me, and I now I’m questioning if I like them. But I am already taken, have a partner, and have no interest in dating anyone else. The thought of doing anything romantic with my co worker makes me feel uncomfortable and nauseous. I’m wondering if this is just Relationship OCD? But I keep blushing when I am around her, partly because I think I’ve become hyper aware of wether or not I am blushing. I have spiraled over this twice before and this is the third time after work I am spiraling. I only noticed this after I spiraled the first time and had a panic attack over it. Last night I had severe panic attacks after work questioning if I was unfaithful to my partner or not. For context yesterday was the first time I’ve seen my partner in a while because they were sick. I was so happy to see them and we cuddled as per usual, and I told them that I missed them because I genuinely missed them and it was really nice. But then at work, eventually my new theme became triggered and I kept thinking about it on and off the whole time. It started because when I first saw my co worker I felt myself blushing in her presence. But then I kept telling myself “maybe maybe not” and eventually was able to let go of it and then I was fine and could care less. But then at the end of the night when she was training me to close the store, I felt myself blushing as she was watching and making helpful but direct comments. And I could tell that she thought my reactions were funny because I am not a direct kind of person. 😅 so I would be flustered by that but I question why I was flustered or if that meant something else?? We do get along well and I enjoy our chats, I really do just want to be friends with this person. But now I find myself dreading interacting with her. Oh and I’ve also been actively avoiding getting too close to her, making sure to avoid hands touching when handing each other boxes, etc. But since I find myself blushing in her presence I keep questioning myself and it’s hard to stop. I feel sick and panicky and I keep questioning if I’m being emotionally disloyal to my partner. I haven’t gotten a chance to mention them at work yet because either we are very busy and it’s just not relevant or OCD is occupying the back of my mind. But then I did have a chance to mention it to a different co worker last night but then I second guessed myself if it was socially right thing to say at the moment, or at least that’s what I thought happened, but now I’m questioning that too. Because the co worker who has been triggering me was in the background and what if I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want her to know?? Ugh I hate this Also as a side note she is a lot younger than me and not someone I would even consider dating if I was single (she is 18 and I am 23), and I’ve never had this problem with anyone younger than me before. I am always helpful like a big sister to the freshman at my college. And I think this makes it worse because I have POCD too and she like just turned 18 so this also freaks me out a lot more ☠️ I think I started freaking out about her when I learned how young she was; she is ranked above me at work and is very confident and direct so I had no idea. But yeah this also just makes me feel icky and uncomfortable. But with this stupid blushing I keep questioning myself on if it’s because I am anxious, because I am flustered, or because I like her??? And when I got in my car after work last night I genuinely couldn’t tell. I was convinced that I did like her and that I had to put a stop to it. And then I started freaking out as soon as I got home and proceeded to have panic attacks and a nightmare. And now I think that it’s likely just my OCD and anxiety causing me to be hyper aware of wether or not I’m blushing. Because if I did like her why would it cause me to spiral into panic attacks?? Anyways I am going starting OCD therapy again soon but this has just been too much and I needed to at least write it out somewhere…I also just want to know if anyone else has experienced something similar to this? Especially with the blushing?

my friend triggers me a lot. it’s something she doesn’t do on purpose but it’s to the point where i don’t want to talk to her or be around her anymore what do i do? should i try and pull away for my sake or shoukd i keeo trying. it hurt hurts a lot

Do yall get dreams and feel it was a message from God or a higher up to do something and you panic because you dont want yo do it but what if your disobeying God or your in denial and that dream was a message, and what you want isnt what you want. I was actually ok in this type of ocd for a while and this dream came and now im back to zero and worried and scared idk what to do. Anyone have this?

Does anyone else feel like they have a different brain when OCD takes control? For example; if you start recognising you're falling into and intrusive thought and try to pull yourself out of it it's almost like your normal 'rational' brain has taken over again? Or the thoughts take over and you go into the stressed/anxious and irrational brain? It's almost like pushing out a shadow that's invading your mind, does anyone else get this feeling?

I get ocd over pretty much anything that means something to me or brings me any kind of joy. I have a game I like to play on my ps5, but I keep getting intrusive thoughts that I’m somehow making deals and promises with God that can mess up the game. I get a rush of anxiety every time I get those thoughts and immediately start checking the game for flaws. If I find one, it “confirms” the ocd thoughts for me and makes them feel real. I can’t stop making deals and promises with God and I’m scared that my ocd thoughts are truly somehow messing up the game, even though in my heart I know this can’t be. Thank you to whoever reads and especially to the ones that respond. One message could change someone’s entire life