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Like i think that we can't fully change but a slight shift can happen with hocd...guys this the worst theme ever...i want to be 100% straight.

I logged onto the app tonight to both decide if I wanted to post about this topic (here I am) and/or see if anyone else with Harm OCD was posting about it and not to my surprise; the community feed is flooded with Dahmer series posts (reassurance like for me). That said, as someone with severe Harm OCD that has both its highs and lows; I’m hesitant to entertain the idea of starting to watch the series because of obvious triggering reasons. That in it and of itself is enough to make me spiral, but at the same time; I’m aware of the fact that it is in turn the perfect form of ERP therapy. However, I’m currently questioning if this is a series I should wait to get consent from my therapist first before going about watching it on my own. Coincidentally, recently in therapy before the series was released; as exposures, my therapist and I just started watching clips of real life documentaries covering ‘Famous,’ serial killers such as Jeffrey Dahmer. However and aside from having Harm OCD; I am openly a gay male and so that adds an additional level of complexity when it comes to comparing and contrasting and ruminating over all of the above because cannibalism is also unfortunately a major trigger for me as well due to watching Hannibal Lector as a child and being told if I did; it would eventually “Fuck with me” by the person who had the movie on in the first place. All of the above being said and taken into consideration; I have anxiety even discussing the topic and the idea of actually starting to watch the series (especially on my own) puts a knot in my stomach and causes may borderline nausea. However, I am still intrigued in the sense of wanting too expose myself for ERP purposes and I’d be lying to both myself and anyone else reading this that I’m not intrigued by the overall hype around the series as well because as we all know; toying with the idea of and testing boundaries, etc. is intriguing in it and of itself. Although, I am truly fearful of the out come… I don’t ever want to set myself back, etc. Contrary to that, I also do t ever want to feel controlled by anyone one or anything and in this case; that would be my Harm OCD. On a final note, I’m primarily posting this to see if anyone else who suffers from the monster and battles the beast that is OCD (specifically, but not limited to gay men and/or anyone else whom is triggered by cannibalism, etc.) is more so triggered by this and would love your/any/all feedback from anyone reading this (ideally those who specifically have Harm OCD as well), but not limited too. Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌

Do coping cards work for OCD? My therapist told me I should try doing a coping card for my thoughts and I don’t know if it works for OCD. So if anyone knows of these or maybe does them too do they help you through your OCD???

Does anyone have any recommendations of how to fight back cheating ocd / false memory rumination? I’m continuously ruminating over past experiences/events (struggling with false memory ocd too) and whether I acted inappropriately or did something bad. All revolves around cheating and feeling guilty that I did something wrong and don’t remember it or twisting up the story in my head. This rumination has been nagging me for months!! I have a very outgoing and bubbly personality and get worried if I come off as flirting to other men when I’m really just being myself and not trying to flirt. For context, I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for over 4.5 years and we recently got engaged. I love him so much and just don’t want to do anything wrong to jeopardize our relationship.

Remember that OCD doesn’t make you a perfect person, you can make mistakes just like anyone else. You don’t need to doubt you had OCD just cause the event/mistake you centered on is “real”. The thoughts about it are not, the guilt/shame, berating yourself, and obsessing over whether or not it could happen again/it was worse than you remember it serves nobody except your OCD.

It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?

My soocd relapsed for the first time in about 3 years and it’s making me so sick. It is bringing up everything in the past to try and convince me the whole time I’ve been with my boyfriend that I’ve been in denial even though I never had these thoughts when I was with him😭 it sucks so bad because it’s making me think about times we watched movies together and my head is like oh did you find the girl more attractive when watching with him and you just blew it off. Like this honestly sucks I just want my old life and relationship back without having to question everything and my past. This has led to me also getting bad rocd on top of the soocd. I just want to be normal again. I know exactly when it got triggered and that helps, but everything is scaring me because I don’t want to lose my boyfriend. I want to marry this guy.😭

Hello guys most of you guys might know me by now , I have probably been dealing with so-ocd longer then most so I am here to help anytime . Any questions on how to deal with so-ocd I am here for you want everyone to make progress

I've delt with intrusive thoughts and feelings about my lack of emotional connection with my boyfriend for years. It's eating at me. I want to connect with him, and I want to feel it through me but I struggle so much and my brain is making me feel it's because I don't like him. But I know I do and I know he's my forever, but even as I write that I feel like a liar. I have a feeling my intrusive thoughts and feelings and depression have a lot to do with why I struggle on top of everything else that comes at our relationship, but as of late it feels like I don't care more casually. My chest doesn't tighten, I don't panic, I feel like it bother my less and I fucking hate it. I feel like I'm accepting some "truth" and I want it to piss me off but I just feel nothing. Have any of you experienced this? How do I fix it?

I'm here to listen to someone to vent or just need someone to talk. I'm overcoming perfectionism, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I was diagnosed with ptsd ( us army combat vet = Combat tour Iraq =

guys i was wondering if anyone with harm ocd or that has similar intrusive thoughts had a horrible time trying to watch the new jeffery dahmer show on netflix??? just for a little background, i struggled with harm ocd when i was like 8 and it lasted for a whole year after watching a show about a daughter murdering her mom. i was 100% convinced i wanted to harm her and the thoughts haunted me for soooo long. i had no clue what was wrong at that young of an age. i also have borderline personality disorder and i had the worst day possible with it today and tomorrow is actually my birthday and i was trying to watch an episode of it and these thoughts come in and make me feel like i could do those things??? when before i watched/watch stuff like that i obviously experience remorse about hurting people and now i’m just questing if i was putting on an act about feeling bad about emotionally draining my own boyfriend and hurting his feelings. can someone PLEASE give me advice on how to handle these thoughts ?

So I read one of the NOCD Blog’s new posts about differentiating GAD vs OCD and it made me worried a bit. The first psych I saw said that I had GAD and unspecified OCD which may/may not change, and when I asked them a few weeks later, they said that if they HAD to say, they said I probably have it. When I started therapy here, I was further diagnosed with OCD and GAD. Because of the shiftiness, I’ve often wondered if I don’t actually have OCD and an misinterpreting normal behaviors/anxiety behaviors to be compulsions. I have discussed this with my therapist of course, but I also wanted to see if anyone on here has been diagnosed with OCD that later turned out to be wrong? Are there any resources that could help me further differentiate so that I’m not doing/treating the wrong thing? I’m also aware of the irony that asking this question in and of itself may be more aligned with OCD, but I feel like people with anxiety disorders may do the same so I’m not sure anymore lol.

I am terrified. A few weeks ago I was hospitalized for low platelets and it was concluded after what seemed to be hundreds of blood tests, that a viral infection had attacked my platelets. Luckily I have been going to the Hematologist to check on my blood, and my platelets are back to normal. However, I was given a choice of whether I wanted a CT scan for peace of mind or not, and because I of course refused to live with any doubt of what my body was going through at the time or any other time, insisted. So I had an abdominal and pelvic ct scan when they found I had an ovarian cyst. I freaked out and started googling insanely and saw how most ovarian cysts are nothing to worry about but that rarely (less than 1 percent) can be cancerous so now I feel like I am going to die. Tomorrow is my transvaginal ultrasound where they are going to see my ovaries and I am beyond terrified. I keep living with this sense of doom that is just waiting to happen.

Hi! I recently started meds for ocd, lexapro 10mg, and I was wondering how long it took any of you to start to feel better? I've noticed recently there's days I feel good and the thoughts aren't as loud so I get hopeful but then the next day it's bad again :( I would love to hear everyone's experience on meds!

I’ve been struggling with magical thinking for at least 2 months now, and I feel like it’s getting worse. If anyone has any coping skills for this or advice on how to reassure oneself, please let me know :( I’m tired of feeling tormented by my thoughts.

Okay, so for the most part, if you have harm ocd/intrusive thoughts, you’ll understand (hopefully). If you haven’t seen, everyone is talking about the Netflix documentary “Dahmer”. Most harm ocd sufferers (myself included) that I’ve gotten to know all struggle with fears of being evil in any way (like a sociopath/narcissistic, etc). Do we need to make ourselves watch it? Even some of my friends without OCD say they couldn’t do it. The reason I don’t want to watch it is because I’m afraid it’ll trigger me. I’ll look for any common traits (this is what I do) and it’ll send me into a panic attack. But aren’t we SUPPOSED to on purpose watch things that bring us distress? The series has everyone talking about mental health and it SUCKS because OCD is considered “mental health” and I feel like it lumps us all into a giant category. Everything true crime triggers my harm ocd. I don’t even want to know humans are capable of such things because then it reminds me “it’s all possible”. I don’t know if I explained it well, but does ANYONE understand where I’m coming from 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Did learning about your specific type of ocd make your ocd worse or increase your anxiety? I feel like it has for me. I have somatic ocd and before I looked up what it was it wasn’t that bad/I didn’t worry about it as much but now that I know what it is I feel like it’s increased my awareness and has become my life now. Like I feel like I have to live up to the name in a way? Anyone relate?

TW so yesterday I tried to take my own life beacuse my thoughts just felt so true.. I took alot of sleeping pills and i went to sleep but my heart started hurting so i told my mom and she took me to a hospital ( that was about 12 at nigh ) I just feel like i fucked my life over.. my sisters hate me my mom is mad at me my dad is also mad and confused beacuse he dosent know whats my problem Idk its just my harm/Pocd thoughts just got so real and i got so fied up with it so I tried to end it all Im so tired of living with myself and im so tired of being in my head i just want my old brain and self back i cant livr anymore.. im not gonna attempt again dw this is just a vent and i need advice’s pls

Hello, if you don't mind me asking, do your parents accept that you're mentally ill or do they insist on the delusion that you are okay, desperate enough to pass you as "normal" to everyone else? My mother took a while to accept that I'm mentally ill, and as much as she tries to hide it, she considers it shameful.

Can anxiety make you lower ribs/upper abdominal tense? Idk why but for awhile now my upper abdominal feels tense/sore like I just did an ab workout but I didn’t. Like almost as if I’m sucking in my stomach but permanently. Like I try to let my stomach go/relax but it almost feels uncomfortable and not natural like how it did before all of this. It also moves so easily like it’s a weird feeling lol that muscle never use to do that, has anyone else had this happen to them too?