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the NOCD Community

I haven't officially started ERP sessions yet with my therapist here and I may have to delay due to financial reasons but has anyone tackled a situation head on with good results?

Has anyone ever had instances where they found themselves attracted to a person but because you don't know their age for sure you start to worry and you begin to spiral down a bunch of POCD thoughts? This is concerning my latest relapse. I can't get my mind off of it. It looked like a woman my age and there was a 21 year old woman that I thought was attractive. The other fictional woman character during my relapse is my type of woman but doesn't have an age but I along with many people assume she is 20-24 but few days lower. What if it's much lower? Does that make me a p even though I genuinely assumed it was an an attractive adult woman? I'm always cautious of keeping away from any female that looks too young or anywhere where I have to question it and can only know for sure. Only then I can be cool about it

Anyone else have extreme arguments with their significant other? My husband and I are recovering addicts and we’ve always had very intense arguments. I also have bipolar 2 and I am trying to learn how to cope during these times. It’s hard not to be negative and say,”yeah this is what I signed up for.” Any encouragement or advice would be great.

Bro I keep getting groinals and checking out ljke looking at girls on social media and getting groinials and now I just had the most nastiest thought and I felt like I agreed with it :( it was so uncomfortable and I feel weird but I’m watching neon demon and I just figured out that the actress is playing a 16 years old girl but irl she’s not 16 and I noticed that I keep just looking at her butt and I even said “oh she doesn’t even have a butt” and I felt so weird after that, is it normal to have thoughts like this a bc I swear I feel like since I haven’t been haven’t that many thoughts I feel like these are not pocd thoughts :( and I feel no anxiety at all anymore and I even had a bad freak out where I was on like 1-7 day streak of not having thoughts and I had thought I became a p :(, then I think panicked myself back into them and the thoughts came back 😭 or the worries at least. Then I saw this boy on an edit from a movie and he looked really young then I keep thinking or saying he was cute but I felt like I was attracted to him or was and I feel like that’s why I said it, and he looked like pretty young yk so idkkk anymore I’m so worried and it’s been aching at me for awhile and I just had to confess bc I really feel weird and I feel like I’m becoming a p, and feeling like I’m so used to it and that it’s okay to have these thoughts and that I like thinking of this or idk it’s bc normal and I don’t like that like ughhh 😕 somethings wrong with me

On July 2nd I got triggered that God sent me a message telling me I’m going to hell if I do any type of sin. I know it’s my OCD but it feels so real, and it’s been severely bothering me this whole week now- it’s hard to go back to normal life when my brain is telling me constantly that I’m going to be doomed forever. Does anyone else experience anything similar to this? What should I do?

If anyone is sober, meaning they used to drink now they don’t anymore, I would love to hear some of your stories and how thay experience is going for you. I am about 8 months alcohol free but still struggle as the stigma behind nondrinkers is tough!

I’m feeling suicidal because of how lightly the conversation is taken when it comes to skinny and flat chest shaming. People usually talk over me or get mad when i bring it up because it’s not the popular topic. I’m not allowed to be in agony the same way people with other body types are. My childhood bullies thought this way, and now the rest of the world does too.

For the last few weeks I’ve been having terrifying thoughts when out in public, especially in busy crowds. Fixating on humans around me and how we exist, and then I start to think about how we all are skeletons/bones/have all these organs, and it is so scary. And then everyone looks so creepy and alien-like almost. And then how no one feels real and how and their limbs look too big for their bodies, etc And it makes me feel INSANE. I’m convinced something is terribly wrong with my brain. Has anyone ever experienced these type of scary thoughts?

I’m a younger guy and I was doing so much better with my medication and work but now it feels like everything is flooding back my debt is crippling, I’m thinking about absolutely horrific shit all the time, I worry nonstop that bad things are going to happen or if I locked the door. I met the love of my life and I can’t stop thinking about leaving her and I don’t want to I love her but the thoughts won’t leave my head. With all the thoughts about harming people my debt and leaving my girl I feel hopeless. Non of these therapists that are available seem to accept Medicaid and that’s my only insurance so I’m worried if I’ll even be able to get help. I do t wanna do any of these things I’m thinking about they make me sick to my stomach but I can’t stop and it’s taking over. I’m sorry for the rant but please can someone point me in the right direction?

For me I've been an anxious person my whole life but I quite literally remember the day this started. Something just clicked in my head and I've been stuck obsessing over the same thing for years. I know a lot of people say for them they had OCD happen from a young age and others got it later like me but I'm wondering if it was a spontaneous change for you like it was for me or was it some kinda slow progression into obsessions?

I was doing a lot better, overthinking a lot less and just living in the present for the most part, but I walked out of the shower and I heard my parents talking about how I don’t have any respect for them and it really upset me to hear them talk about me in that way. I’ve been trying hard to leave for school at the same time they leave the house because they don’t want me in there alone (for reasons I won’t go into) but I’ve messed it up a few times and I feel like I’ve made no progress if they still feel that way. After I talked to my mum about it she said she was glad that she was wrong, that I do respect them! Which was nice to hear but I wonder if she’s just saying that. I’m so scared to go back to how it was before, overthinking every detail of everything, constantly thinking about whether I’m a good or bad person and feeling hopeless and suicidal. I can’t put myself through that again and I can’t put my family through what I put them through again. I think I might need some more therapy which I feel guilty about because it costs them a lot of money and I said I was close to wrapping up and just wanted an ending session. I guess I’ll need a few more which is rough but oh well.

I am having a really hard time with a diamond heart necklace I got my amazing, supportive girlfriend for her birthday. I faced a trigger and intrusive thoughts while getting buying the gift and I was extremely distressed when it happened. I feel I can’t get rid of the association at this point. I have been debating on whether or not to give it to her and I really need help. The gift for me is associated with a really bad memory/trigger but it is what I wanted to give her in my heart. I don’t want to be in pain every time I see it. I wish I never ran into a trigger while getting it :/ I could tell her about it too. I love her so much and want to give it to her but I hate that a trigger occurred while getting it. Help would be appreciated!

I’m having a major crisis in life rn. It feels like I’m just very detached from everything . I don’t know when last time it’s been since I’ve felt like this . Probably years back when my ocd first started to develope and I wasn’t full aware of what was going on. Anyways, lately I have been feeling like this as a result of another one of my episodes . It’s been feeling long term . It’s been about 2 days almost still with the same obsessive thought and me just ruminating. But for most part, I think I was just handling it by not giving much into it and rather just accept the uncertainty as I’m supposed to. But more waves keep coming in and I feel prone to just having more related thoughts and feeling like I’m vulnerable at this point and weak. Let alone I already feel like crap because everyday it’s the same exact thing . I’m back at my old job but due to my ocd , it’s been making me feel quite depressed and I truly just miss my most recent one I was at . I feel isolated . I’m deeply worried I’ll be living with my parents for much longer time and I won’t be as dependent as others are with the circumstances I’m in rn. I don’t drive - which has been a huge impact on my mental health. I get very flustered and have racing unpleasant thoughts reminding me I can’t drive . I keep getting the same thing from people - “you’ll get there eventually, ebeyone works at their own paste” what bothers me is the fact I feel I haven’t progressed in anything as far as driving goes . I don’t have anyone to teach me other the parents ( they are busy most time ) they’re not very consistent on teaching me either...parents are already giving me enough crap about me not being able to drive on my own. I’m truly concerned because I almsot feel I know nothing about Adult life . I feel stupid. I’m 19. I have college this upcoming august and I’m not sure I’ll even afford it with my financial aid. I have good amount of money saved but not sure it’s enough. I’m still working but that’s all I even do, plus having my constant ocd episodes does not help anything , it just makes it worse and I feel prone to feeling more isolated when I’m already feeling like shit let alone working . I probably won’t have time and/or afford therapy either in next couple months as I’m on a tight budget rn. Meanwhile, eveyone I know is having blast this summer , I come home after work to a room depressed not doing shit , but only watch tv. I font wanna be depending on my parents for anything . I’m scared . I’m FRUSTRATED. Idkkk what to do 🤷‍♂️idk what to do for me to help me . I’m doing everything I can. No one can teach me to drive . I’m so tired , jealous, angry, sad, scared , worried , upset , frustrated .

Hi all. I opened up to my psychiatrist today (my therapist and ocd therapist know) about the intrusive thoughts I've been having. The one thought would pop up over and over "child porn" and it made me so sick to my stomach because I can't believe I would think of such a thing. Then the thoughts were more dark like thinking of touching my son and even images of that happening..then came urges...and i felt so guilty and disgusted with myself :( after I told my psychiatrist ( who is currently treating me for bipolar 1) he was so concerned and told me I need to stay with my mom to make sure my son is safe. To not trust myself and have someone watch me. Well that made me feel a whole lot worse! The thoughts were actually subsiding this week and talking about it with him made the "child porn" thought pop up again. I just feel like I'm failing at life and as a mother. My immediate family think I should turn myself into a mental health facility and have intensive treatment. They think because I have those thoughts that I want to act on them or to let it go. I don't want to act on them and would never! Im scared of my thoughts and thats the problem. This is so frustrating.

Does anyone get really annoyed when you play fight with your partner? All these thoughts start coming in and I don’t know which ones are mine. I just wanna have fun, but I don’t know how :(

One thing I don't like about NOCD advices is that ultimately they're telling me that literally EVERYTHING I am doing may be harmful. Now I am afraid of doing anything at all because: hey, maybe that is a compulsion, or maybe it is avoidance and I must confront my fears, but not too much or that would be a compulsion too, and oh be careful because maybe you're reassurance seeking with this person and by the way don't go watch Netflix or do q guided meditation because you may be distracting yourself from your feelings ! Now I am questioning absolutely everything that I am doing, wondering if I am doing the right thing for my recovery or not, and I am in HELL. I feel trapped.

Can OCD thoughts cause someone to become delusional or hallucinate? Or just become unaware and become psychotic?? I’m so scared

Maybe there are other members of my Church on here, idk, but basically my boyfriend is serving a 2-year mission for my Church and I’ve decided to wait for him, meaning I’m not going to date anyone else while he’s gone and I’m going to marry him when he gets home. I am absolutely 100% doing this. It’s a decision I’ve made through a lot of prayer and I’m very very confident in it. HOWEVER I also have OCD. It’s kind of a cliche within my church’s culture that people always say they’re going to wait but then they don’t, they end up finding and marrying someone else. Only my parents really know that I’m legitimately waiting for him, and my mom is super supportive, but my dad will say stuff like “so are you ready to date other people yet” or “yeah just give it time you won’t feel that way in a few months” and I HATE IT. It’s so triggering. I’m sure tons of other people will say similar things if they find out or suspect that I’m waiting, so I need to figure out how to tackle the barrage of obsessive worry that comes as a result of these comments. I immediately begin to worry that I will “find” someone else, and there’s just nothing I can do about it, my life and my feelings are completely out of my control and our whole relationship is going to be lost because I have no self-control. I know this isn’t true!! I know this!! I know that he is the ONE and I hate having these worries. AND THEN because of those worries, I start obsessively worrying that I’m not secure enough in my decision, which just makes me feel even worse like I really have no control and it’s all going to fall apart and everyone will be sad and it’ll be all my fault. It’s so stupid, I know it’s so stupid, but it feels sooooo real. How can I combat the triggers of other peoples’ comments on my relationship??

I’ve been considering going to therapy or going for a psych evaluation as I am undiagnosed but am concerned after reading online about what and what not to tell people. My issue has everything to do with violent thoughts and i’ve read that some therapists or doctors have been known to call the police or notify those involved in said thoughts and it’s possible to essentially get mentally hospitalized etc etc? i’ve been trying to bring myself to reach out for help for over a year now and this is a huge problem for me. does anyone have any experience w a situation like this or any advice? literally any type of feed back at all is appreciated. Hope everyone is doing well

18+ When i was 15 - 17 years old I use to go on sites and apps like omegle and ask people if they wanna have cam sex with me. I have developed real event ocd over this beacause this behavior isn’t something Im proud about. I think I had an addiction to doing this aswell. It started as a porn addiction and turned in to cam sex with strangers addiction I think. But the thing is, now I have this extreme guilt of “what if some one was too young” If I only could remember everything that happend. “What If I flashed myself to someone that didn’t wanna see”. “What if someone got traumatized” I can’t accept does things. I’m 19 years old now I’m scared to open up to my therapist about this.