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Can someone explain what OCD and the "ick" is?

Im a little sad. When my ocd was really bad and i was wasting away pushing people away and all that my parents and i had numerous fights to the point that my didnt wouldn’t get me anything for my birthday. He was upset that i was taking a brak from school and sleeping all day. Now im back to school and i finished my first semester with all A’s and one B (which was due to attendance) and he was like tell me what do you want for your birthday? I feel like i needed that love then when i was struggling more than now…. And its nice that he asks but i know he will only get me something that he thinks is ok. Example he doesn’t support me gaming for stress relief so he didn’t help me purchase any of the things i asked even though he said he would. I feel like i sound spoiled but i just wish that his support was unconditional and hed trust me.

Hey friends, I need your help. I have the same thought in my head for at least 3 months now. Logically I don’t even think it’s a big deal. And I don’t think I am intentionally checking or ruminating. But the same thought is still there. I really don’t think I’m doing any compulsions. I’m not asking for reassurance, nothing. I’m on 200mg Zoloft and am seeing a psychiatrist again in 2 weeks to see if we can make changes. Does anyone have any advice?

big tw for this . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i was watching my brother and he jumped on my lap and put his hand in between my legs because he didn’t know any better and i thought of this as a erp exercise ( plus he wasn’t doing anything ) so i didn’t move him instantly at first but then he started to moving his hand and i got a intrusive thought that i should move too to possibly get a groinal and i didn’t act on it but at the same time i feel like i almost did, not because i wanted to do anything with my brother but to do it just because + i knew something happening wasn’t a 100% possibility but it was still a big one nonetheless. i told my mom about this and she said i didn’t do anything but i wanted to get you guys opinions too i feel so weird something could of easily went wrong and it’s scaring me

Can someone please help with the post I made an hour ago? I’m scared I keep cringing like I’m forcing myself to but I know I like males not females not theirs I keep I almost smile calling them but they’re not hot or delicious I don’t like female body parts so why would I smile I want male body parts why do I feel why do I cringe why do I feel forced I want men not women and I said almost with a smile not sweet but women are not sweet hotter delicious to me and I sound I sound how I sound I know it I said I don’t I do want then I said I’m not and I made a face like accompanying that as well I really think that but I do like men I’m scared I’m forcing it and I can’t stop making a face but I do like male body parts why would I make a face saying I said I don’t I really don’t like females why am I smiling I don’t like females I can’t breathe it’s like whatever body part is used to swallow is too swollen I can hardly breathe I feel like my mouth in my throat or somehow like swelling up. I keep saying I don’t like females not sweet as I mean otherwise but I want male body parts and I cringe like I don’t but I want men females are not sweet or sexy to me and I am really freaking out and confused

Can any SO-OCS sufferers help me with the post I made 4-5 mins ago. I really need help

Is avoidance a compulsion?

Can feelings go away after a really big disappointment?? It's like I don't know my bf anymore, it's like if it is a stranger. I became indifferent, reluctant and anxious at the idea of seeing him. My coping strategies is to take distances when I'm hurt... he did a thing that really disappointed me and made me feel so unspecial, I felt really really hurted. I couldn't stop crying for a day. (He didn't cheat, and no violence). And from that thing, my feelings change. I have rocd, and in past they changed a lot. But in the way that happend that day... never! We talked, he tried to find compromise, and wanted to change things. Now he is trying, but it feels like it is too late! Can my feelings came back, or do I have to broke up with him??

Does anybody else have experience with obessional thinking about other people? I have begun to compare myself to others very negatively, to particular people in my life. It has grown over months to the point that simple words, colours, smells can trigger a thought about a person, past relationships and then following thoughts about my own self worth, lack of control over things and my general anxiety and distress. I am not really looking for reassurance. I just wanted to know if anybody else experiences this and how exposure therapy could work in relation to people and relationships.

Is it true that OCD latches onto thing you value most? My themes are: pure OCD, POCD, and real event. If those are my themes, what does that mean about what I value?

It feels so real. And then some days I feel like I can really differentiate between me and ocd and see it all clearly. And be okay with uncertainty. And then it just hits me back again like a brick where my brain is like “no it’s all or nothing you can’t have anything in between” and then I get anxious. And when I’m anxious I get irritable with my partner and it’s almost like I resent her for not letting me HOCD thoughts be played out. Like surely that means I’m just in denial about it.

This is killing me now i am lost I don't know if this is ocd anymore or just major denial cause i think i am just getting major proofs of that pls help me. Okay so i went out today and a few things or thoughts bothered me or didn't idk it was my friends birthday and she just kissed her bf and my other female friend was sitting next to me and the thought of kissing her just popped up?!! Like what?! And it felt to real like i wanted it and the lighting was also such and stuff just which i just found weird and then this girl was pretty and attractive and I thought that she was the same but i don't know in what sense now and if I don't know it could mean that it could be the one that i fear too this uncertainty now feels like it could lead me to my denial being true which is not true or is it!?!? Is it is and i am writing this so casually and okay with it what is that then. Then this guy was being creepy and trying to be like too close to me and the thought of saying i have a girlfriend popped into my head like right away without much thought.. why would that come if I don't think thats true or has some truth to it cause it was so like reflexive and if it is that what does that mean?!? Do i know the answer but don't wanna believe it or am i faking having od and this isn't that and am i asking these questions cause i want it to be ocd cause i think i wont have a problem kissing the same sex and what does this statement of mine mean people with soocd say they hate the thought or they would never why did i say the other though what does that say about me?!? Why does being with guys give me anxiety is its not something i want and why does being withe the same sex feel more like a possibility and real that the opposite its like i am telling people i am into the same sex feel more like a possibility and real that the opposite its like i am telling people i am into the same sex am i?!? What am I supposed to do how is this ocd how can this be anyone hearing will say its just me in major major denial... being with a guy feels like I don't want it whyyy what do i do?!? And sometimes i notice good looking guys and girls too and do i get the same feeling when i see them or is that ocd too?!? Like What do i do?!

I just need an opinion on this.. please don’t get upset…

I never forget that childhood mistake I did on the past when I was like 9 y/o but as I child I also quickly learned from that experience, repent, say sorry to God, I never repeat that mistake again and moved on. Highschool, college, after college, having a career passed by and I'm totally okay but never forgot that mistake its just that I don't react to it everytime that thought pops into my head. But suddenly, pandemic and lockdown happened last yr I was 26 y/o and that thought came out of nowhere and to my surprise my reaction was different, I feel shame, guilt, dirty, undeserving of a great life. And I keep on replaying that scenario to get all the details as possible and to answer my questions "why you did that?" "whats running into your mind when youre doing that mistake" "eventhough youre still a child back then you still knew that it was wrong!" "you need to make sure all the details! and not having a false memory ocd!" UHHHHHRGH!!! I'm really tired!!!! Why ocd keeps asking me questions I don't know or probably won't remember?? Its irritating! Why it can't just accept the fact that hey I'm human! commiting mistakes is included in my DNA. Why do I feel the guilt, shame, tainted feels over and over again?? Oh please give me a break! 😪

Sexual orientation OCD is so hard. I haven’t struggled with the thoughts for a while now, I know I like boys. I am 19 and I have never had feelings for a girl and the thought of being in one makes me feel uncomfortable. But why do I still deal with HOCD then? OCD is a stupid disease that I wish I never had to deal with. Anyone else understand this?

Ok this isn’t ROCD related whatsoever. I’m stressed and frustrated about other things too. No one needs to write or respond to this I am just venting since it’s about my friend and her freaking husband. We’ve been roommates for 5 years now. My husband and I are moving into my sister’s new home since she offered and we couldn’t find a place before January. Her husband which is my husband’s so called freaking friend has been pissed and angry and all we’ve been feeling is tension from him which is making things very uncomfortable before we have to move. We can’t move yet since my sister’s new place is having work done on it so it won’t be ready until the end of the month. I get it. We’ve been here long enough and they got married awhile back so they want the house to themselves again since they are more financially stable than us. We are not angry about that. We are angry bc of the freaking tension he is giving off. It’s really starting to piss me off. I just wish he would tell us what’s bothering him to get it over with and if he or my friend never wants to see us again JUST bc we are not at the same level as them in life than of the fuck well. I’m care about my friend we are close but I’m tired of her husband giving off this freaking tension that is adding extra stress. He has a huge freaking history for holding grudges. He will hate someone forever if they do something wrong to them and isn’t willing to talk it out with them. Like my friend told me her husband is upset with mine bc he doesn’t wanna hang out. My partner is stressed out depressed and honestly is just a homebody. The thing is they don’t talk shit out and he expects my partner to just know when he wants to hang out. Her husband has been busy with work, doing stuff with his music and hanging out with his other friends that he gets into annoyed with on occasions. I told my friend that if her husband is having issues with mine then he needs to talk to mine about it. I can’t do it for him or either can she. If he isn’t willing which sounds like he isn’t then what’s the point of bringing it up!? She said it isn’t upsetting him now but it must be upsetting him in some way if she had to bring it up in the first place. My friend and I get along perfectly fine but I can’t bring this up to her bc I don’t want things to get worse before we move out. I know them living with my ROCD hasn’t been great and lately I tried my best to stay far away from them. I even told her I don’t wanna bother her with my issues anymore but she tells me to let it out so I do. I even try to changed topic quickly by asking her how her new job is going. But my god her husband needs to either tell us what’s bothering him or just calm down with the tension. He will have his house back soon after 5 years. Oh he even gets upset that my partner doesn’t like to go drinking and going out to randomly places to hang. He even said he doesn’t bother to hang out with him while he is at home. Well it’s hard when her husband is busy or seems freaking angry all the time. My partner sure can be oblivious sometimes that’s just who he is but he knows and can feel the tension with his friend so he stays away for that purpose. Right now too with us moving he doesn’t even see hanging out with friends right now as top priority. I don’t even hang out with my friend that often just bc there are bigger things to worry about. Sure I hung out with her twice this month for like an hour 1/2. Socializing drains my energy so I don’t like to hang out that much unless I’m in the mood too. I wish I could be open about this with her but I can’t without problems arising. My partner already has confident issues about what people think of him and this isn’t helping him at all. So I think when we move we are gonna stay away from them for awhile. Even though I have a feeling his friend will no longer want anything to do with him anymore which is pissing me the hell off. Sorry that was so long. I am just frustrated.

I feel nothing throughout him... I think I should just let him go... can someone help me? Now, one thing about me, is that my love language is quality time. Attentions means everything for me. Giving/receiving more attentions = being really intrested/really care about someone. When I love someone, I would like to talk/stay with them all the time! The problem is that from the event written below, I started to feel apathy with him... the only things that keeps hurting me is the idea of left him! I didn't want to answer his messages , they didn't give me nothing anymore. Now didn't want to see him, or even planning a date with him... his face, his hugs, his kisses means nothing anymore to me... after the day written below, he started to try to make things better; but it is like if I can't trust him anymore... I don't even desire to be intimate with him anymore... it is like If it isn't anymore the bf that I met! That's what's happened: I had rocd in past, I even fall in depression because of that. I was always asking if I love him or not, if I love him enough, and viceversa... than I learned how to control my thoughts, and I started to be happy again, again until a week ago. Me and my bf, because of quarantine, have always date alone. A week ago, I asked him if I can join bowling with his friends group. He was happy about it, so I did get there. I always felt so special because of all the attentions he gaves to me. In that friends group there were 2 girls, both with a bf. My bf, get more along with girls than males and I knew that. But when I was at the bowling; he gave to them (the 2 girls) all the attentions! And I'm not talking about just chatting.. he never put down his eyes from them! A lot of Hugging, hand shaking, compliments for their "bowling performance" a lot of advices and posture correction for throwing the ball, he helped them finding and choosing the right ball etc.. all night like that. And that with the other guys sitting down, talking each others. He said that that it's how he treats his females friends. I was there just soo sad, alone, and wanting to die inside, because all the attentions means to me that I'm less important than all his female friends! Sometimes he sitted next to me too, but just for little minutes! At the and of the night I wanted to take a pause from him, but he was with his friends so I decided to wait to tell him... Before the end, he asked me if I wanted to date him the next day... I didn't know what to say! I declined and ask him to call me later... In that call, I was so devastated; and he really think that I'm just too jealous (he never told me this words, but he said that it is his normal behaviour, that it is just the way he treats his female friends, that because he see me often, when he see his friends it's normal to gave them more attentions!"). He also told me that he could fix this, he gaves me some compromises... that gives me a little hope so I didn'tbroke up with him, but I felt like if I wasn't special enymore... I felt so bad that day... and now I can't recover! I try to keep being happy with him; but I can't! Even if the next days he was more present for me; it felt like it was too late... Sorry for the super long message, I don't want to leave him, but I feel like I have no choice... this event destroyed me, and I don't know If I will ever be able to live a life like that!

Hey, for my harm OCD peeps, can you give me an example of exposures you do EVERY day? I wanna make sure I challenge myself enough, and it’s hard to know when you don’t regularly interact with other OCD sufferers.

I need help. I need it so bad. My throat is closing and I can’t breath right

TW* Im watching a show and was on the second last season of it, I went on google to read about the characters and it got spoiled for me. Bascially the guy in the show throughout the series has sex with tons of women hes the 2nd lead actor, now part that got spoiled for me was that he ends up falling in love with a man and goes gay in the last season. I continued watching the show and the whole time I was just focused on the said gay guy and how and which man was he was going to fall for and its ruined the show for me bc I didnt enjoy any other characters' parts or storylines, everything else kinda faded out for me. It didnt directly trigger me but it feels like throughout the last season I was just confused and felt like Im gay aswell. I just cant seem to imagine and picture myself with a girl, with guys it just feels more normal and like easier to do and it feels like I want to like guys now, it feels sweet and stuff. I guess this is it, Hocd really did win, I think it wouldve happened regardless of ocd or not