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working to conquer OCD
I canāt stand this anymore. I feel like Iām at my breaking point. I feel so sick from all these thoughts & I constantly feel that Iāve done something terrible wrong in the past and Iām going to get in trouble. I donāt know what to do. I canāt stand the thought of not knowing. This is killing meš
What do you all do when you have a handful of tricky weeks? Iāve been feeling pretty good, but the last few weeks I have noticed my SOOCD and Pure OCD sneaking in and have ruminated a whole lot more. Just some background: -happily married to my husband with kids. -All types of OCD in my past, but SOOCD has been the theme now for awhile. -definitely having trouble considering the fluidity of the idea of sexuality in general. Also triggered by later in life coming out stories. -my SOOCD has been manageable but lately itās just been in the backgroundālike a mosquitoājust there enough to notice and Iām definitely attaching meaning to the thoughts. Which turns into a cycle of rumination. Argh! - Returning to my ERP exercises. Is this what most people do? Feeling a bit stuck. Not looking for any reassurance just supportāsometimes knowing Iām not the only one is a bit of the push I need. Itās just nice to know we all have each otherās backs! šā¤ļø
Can obsessing about the samething over and over again make you believe and feel like itās true? Especially if you obsessed about it for over a yearā¦. Like I obsessed and tested myself about loving my partnerā¦ now I get strange sensations and started to believe I donāt love my partnerā¦ but I have moments where I know I love him. Clarity moments.
Any words of hope? My sexual orientation OCD has not let up for like a month straight. Every second of every day I am ruminating and thinking to myself I'm such a fraud, my boyfriend deserves better, I'm ruining everything :/ Makes me wanna cry but I have no tears just feel numb at this point. I honestly can't remember not feeling like this and I'm afraid it's gonna last forever.
Itās really hard for me to let things go. Once I have a thought/obsession, the only thing that seems to help me drop it is saying it out loud to my therapist/talking it out with her/hearing that she doesnāt think the thought is true or out of the ordinary (yes, I realize this is me seeking validation/reassurance). After that, I am able to move on and realize days later how silly/inaccurate the thought was. How does one get past this and manage the thoughts independently? I want to be able to give myself that same validation/reassurance that my therapist can provide internally/independently. The problem I run into is that the thought always seems like such a huge deal, that it would be wrong to ignore it.
I really need someoneās input. And I feel really bad because I feel like I abuse that in another post and the other persons not respond rightfully so. Anyway has anyone ever imagine a scenario and gotten themselves really pissed off or upset or some combination of the two and then that triggers the OCD? Iām scared because I was washing these things at my job I work as a dishwasher. I think theyāre for grills where are Japanese barbecue place so you can cook your own food if you want to Iām not sure where exactly is apparatuses go but I have to clean them. And I thought Iām scared I felt a shift inside me and said I do I donāt miss hanging boobs I donāt like them! And I canāt stop thinking about them and say love but I donāt love them I donāt Iām scary simply I donāt simply do I I donāt know I donāt not simply anything I donāt not do but Iām scared it felt like a gearshift but I still donāt feel right and Iām scared I donāt feels even worse like saying the word but I donāt Iām fine I canāt stop thinking about it like I do and I canāt even imagine a guy like doing a push-up without thinking I donāt want hanging I donāt want boobs Iām scared I donāt wanna condition myself too! And I canāt help it like itās are there but I donāt miss them and find out you make faces like pecs are the really big ones are and then I protested saying not boobs are gross pecs are not at least the patrols that are not really big or not gross I kept saying those arenāt gross but they kind of are to be honest. But what kind of straight person says that kind of thing miss . I donāt miss hanging boobs I donāt even like them! What was that shift
MAJOR, MAJOR, MAKOR POCD TRIGGER WARNING (TALKS ABOUT HEAVY STUFF) PLEASE 18+ Iām tired. I feel horrible. I havenāt been able to watch porn lately without being scared of the person in the video being exploited, kidnapped, or r*ped. I donāt go on shady websites, just pornhub, but itās horrible. I find myself being really scared ever since I heard a while back about how cp and other stuff was being uploaded on porn hub and that they were doing a lot of investigations and taking down videos. Iām terrified that I at some point in my life saw something like that and didnāt know it was illegal, Iām horrified by wondering. It doesnāt help that a couple of months ago, I was reading confession posts on Reddit, I used to read them to maybe feel better about my own real events, and they sometimes did help. But I read one that was horrifying. It was about a man who was confessing to constantly watching CP and using the dark web to see it, I only read the beginning part and the comments replying to him, but it was horrible. One thing he wrote on there horrified me and has stuck in my mind ever since. He said āeven when Iām watching the hardcore stuff I feelā¦ā I shook when I read that, because Iāve never thought about a āhardcoreā part of awful crap like that. As if anything beyond CP itself isnāt already the bottom of society, but to imagine it as different categories like in regular porn terrified me. Now Iām being flooded with intrusive images and itās had me break out in panic attacks and feel incredibly nauseous. I stopped reading confessions on Reddit after that, that was by far the worst confession Iāve ever read. It was disgusting and horrifying. I called my friend afterwards and told how scared I was and he told that I shouldnāt feel guilty for the decisions someone else made who I didnāt even know, and that I need to be able to separate what I read about other people from myself. Iāve never seen CP but these intrusive images are so vivid and terrible, I feel like crawling out of my own skin. I also saw a video on tiktok by this hacker group who take down accounts that bully, harass or put illegal content. And while what theyāre doing is great, they posted a video of an account that has been posting cp and weāre telling people to go and report to get it taken down, but they didnāt blur the profile picture of the account and while it didnāt show anything, the profile picture was of a little girl and she seemed scared and wearing makeup, I was horrified and I just scrolled away and logged off of tiktok. I canāt imagine the pain and suffering they face and seeing that little girls face triggered me beyond what you can imagine. I feel dead inside, I ended up blocking those social activist groups and accounts because while what theyāre doing is great and are trying to get rid of all that and spread awareness, it just triggers me too much. Iām not asking for reassurance, but this stuff has horrified me so much, and my OCD is trying to convince me of truly horrible and despicable stuff, but idk anymore, I just feel like dying.
Having a very scary night I was praying and asked for Jesus's holy spirit and the OCD tried to switch out his name for the devil. I know it's OCD and I have been telling God that I ment i want Jesus's holy spirit and God does know my heart so I just have to trust that God is taking care of me. I feel sick however when I was begging God to stay with me I was given a verse. Trust in the Lord God with all your heart lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6 Your feelings are fickle and the devil will try to minipulate them. Do not let him. You are doing so well keep standing in the armour and the light of God let him pave your way. There is no battle he cannot win. I find being in the presence of God calms me. Worship music helps me so much if you search Jesus. (With the full stop) Into Spotify it should come up. Some specific songs that help me are. Broken prayers - piano version By Riley Clemmons Fighting for me By Riley Clemmons Defender By Francesca Battisteli Back to life By Bethel music Scars By I AM THEY. I would love it if you could put your prayer requests Inn the comments ment we can help each other XX.
Tips for dealing with morality/decisions? I recently found something out about a friend from another friend. It distresses me, but I donāt know where to go from here. My OCD is making it hard to make a choice because itās saying āthis should be an easy, black and white choice. You are bad for not instantly getting rid of this personā. I need help figuring out how *I* feel, not how the OCD feels. Does anyone have advice? I feel like utter trash, I wonāt lie.
Hello everyone, im struggling with something and i need your opinion. So for years i said to myself that i have suicidal ocd because i have random thoughts and images about that and i dont want to do it, but i always felt that what if its real suicidal thoughts and i just say that its ocd to avoid the pain. So today i did the "search" in me and i found out that sometimes when life is bad i really think that i want to die, and a feeling follows that too. And realizing that i started to feel soo much shame and i felt depressed bc of maybe im i danger and that how dare im thinking about that. And then i felt worse bc i thought about how my family will react to that, what feelings i would give to them. And then i read about suicidal ocd and i found out that all this shame and feelings its ocd, so i was like what the hell?! So the question is can i have both, i mean suicidal thoughts and suicidal ocd? By suicidal though i mean(i dont want to live, life is mean). Its just that but im even affraid that it will be worse thoughts...š š and i dont know how to accept if i have these thoughts bc i feel shameful having these...(maybe im broking the rules but i want this bc where i live theres no one who specialize with ocd and i need this aswer to know the truth if i have ocd or not)
It just feels like Iāll never be able to get the girl of my dreams... everythingās reminding me how single I am, not to mention the HOCD intrusive thoughts... ššš
Something really stressful is happening to me and I need your advice. in fact tomorrow i will start again the sport i stopped because of the pandemic, cheerleading. in the team there is a person who is lesbian and on whom my hocd it was attached a few years ago and I really want to start again because I like her but I already know that I am going to have a bad time and I don't want that to change what I have with my boyfriend
I donāt wish this crap on any body. The constant fear, anxiousness, guilt & feeling like a terrible person ALL the time
Currently struggling pretty hard :/ I have so many different intrusive thoughts I couldnāt possibly ask for enough advice on this forum, i just hope I can start treatment soon. My fears and anxieties have left me house ridden. Iām unable to socialize and only leave to get my partner to and from work. I can barely go to the grocery store and have developed an eating disorder from my ingredient obsessions. Iāve been unemployed over a year and the idea of feeling THIS paralyzed leaving the house while also being expected to go to work and perform makes me feel ill. Iāve had dermatillomania my entire life and my ānailsā are nothing but fingers with teeny unbelievably thin slivers of nail matter left and I have a bad habit of getting lost in my nail biting or taking sharp objects to my face for hours on end. I have to ask my boyfriend are you still alive every few hours. I feel like any angle from which OCD could attack you, Iām being crippled from. Iām uninsured and I have been relying in emergencies on a bottle of beta blockers from three years ago, I have four left and Iām very scared. Iām feeling very low guys. Wishing for relief.
Does anyones OCD make you think that people think your OCD thoughts were real even though they realised how much you were suffering and helped you out of an episode? This obsession is driving me nuts. I am doing erp but think I am obsessing that this episode wont go and it is sticking around for so long this time. When I listen to the erp I dont think I am doing any compulsions but I suppose I am trying to remind myself that these people would never think this of me. I am so sick to death of this obsession now.
Can someone help please? š Iām really scared I donāt want to lose my love for guys and I donāt wanna start any thing with the opposite of guys. I want the opposite sex I donāt want girls I donāt want the parts! I canāt stop thinking but I donāt want a combination of the two things thatās for sure lol. Sorry just trying to be a little lighthearted but itās not really working. My palms are sweaty I donāt understand. I said I donāt want you and Iām scared like can I have it I donāt like girls I donāt want to add a team so to speak I want pectorals come back and I keep acting like but I donāt want torpedoes. I donāt want boobs I am scared I almost feel better thinking saying how I donāt want women and focusing on the W like but I donāt want women but I canāt stop thinking of the letter W as though I do. I donāt want women I donāt wanna feel better saying as thought when I donāt!
Iām scared you guys. I donāt want this to be a possibility and I almost said that I am but Iām not really prepared for. Can sexual orientation change? I donāt want to switch or add a team! š„ŗ Iām scared I donāt want to I know itās part of life but I donāt wanna fall out of love with my guy. Definitely donāt wanna add girls to the team I felt funny saying that but I really donāt wanna do it. I wake up arguing with myself which is unfortunately normal but what scares me right now is that I was trying to say guy/guys Iām scared I see these phrases right and thatās one of them. Iām trying to feel better saying but I donāt want women/men I donāt I donāt want women. And yet Iām afraid and I feel better I donāt want to be bisexual but if Iām straight why would I feel better saying that one I donāt wanna Iām scared I donāt want women. Iām scared I feel better saying that and I feel worse leaving them out and I donāt understand what that means! I donāt want women I want guys/men And yet I almost started to get anxious in my palm starting to sweat leaving them out I donāt trust anything and I feel confused I donāt want women! Iām scared and Iām scared Iām so tired I said so what I donāt wanna start liking women I donāt like their parts. And yet my throat closes no Iām leaving them out and Iām simply must be Iām tired and I feel like giving up at and canāt stop I donāt wanna lose my feelings for my guy and I donāt wanna have any I donāt like womenās parts I donāt have any for women theyāre not simply anything boobs are not lovely. So I donāt understand how come I feel worse excluding them and Iām afraid of how I felt including I donāt want it I donāt want to feel better saying that Iām sorry I canāt breathe. I donāt donāt want women sexually I donāt want women in any kind of way. I donāt want women! Yeah Iām scared I do I choke up when I expose them I donāt want girls I donāt want to feel it better saying it like it doesnāt I donāt know if it feels right but itās like for some reason I just have this really strong urge to say it and I said it in my head but I donāt want girls if Iām straight why would I say that in my head? Iām fine I am I donāt wanna look at girls differently I donāt want to see them in my head naked and feel different I donāt want to look at them different I donāt want to change. It almost feels wrong to say no Iām scared I am now Iām not resisting for anything Iām scared it almost why would I feel wrong if Iām straight?! And thereās no if Iām not attractive Iām not interested Iām not I canāt breathe Iām so sorry. Iām not and I donāt understand why would I feel better adding I donāt want women
Iām really struggling this morning. Iām in the last week of graduate school and I am really scared about having a month off before I start my new job. Not having a routine is really hard because I feel like my obsessions get really intense. Does anyone else feel like this? What are some of the things you do to reduce the obsessions when you donāt have routine?
The one thing I donāt know how to do is if I date, how would I let my significant other know about my POCD? I wouldnāt want to keep secrets but I donāt feel like it would be the easiest conversation. Does anyone have advice for how they did so with their significant others?
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OCD doesn't have to
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