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If realisation is meant to make you feel this low, depressed and basically done with life then it’s the most cruel thing to ever happen to me. I feel like everything has been taken from me and I’ve given up on trying to get what I loved so much back again. I’ve lost my confidence, my drive, my vision for the future. I had a wonderful career, gf, friends and family. Now I don’t want any of it, and I can’t even see myself getting it back anymore. I used to wake up and feel like the luckiest person alive, I’d go to work and feel the same. I’d come home to pure love, now it’s all gone it all seems like a fantasy. A dream that I had the chance of living it and now I’m being forced to wake up and return to a cruel reality. I don’t think I’ll ever get over this, I don’t want to get over it. I feel selfish for staying with my partner when I have all these new thoughts/feelings. I don’t know what is real anymore. It just feels like the OCD has finally played it’s strongest game and it’s won and I’m bored to death of playing this game with it anymore. I’m done!

Anybody willing to talk depersonalization?

Came off my anti depressants about a month ago and felt better but recently I feel like I’m relapsing don’t know what to do

Im not sure if this is ocd related or not, but I am at my wits end with my husband. I feel like he is maybe borderline abusive, he is constantly correcting me on all of these things and I can’t take it anymore, I tell him to stop and explain that just because I do something differently then how he would do it it’s okay, but he just continuously corrects me. I’m not gonna lie, on a few occasions I have pushed or shoved him to get my point across, but only because he doesn’t leave me alone or listen to me and I feel like that is my only way to get my point across. He’s bigger than me so I know I am not hurting him, but when I have done this he responds a lot more powerful and drags me or throws me etc. he did it the other day in front of our one year old baby and the baby was distraught from the whole scene. I’m just very confused where to go from here, I try to talk to him but he doesn’t listen and I have no one else to talk to.

Anyone else feel like they are totally accepting of the thoughts now and that they are now in the closet and this isn’t ocd anymore? I feel like I can live a normal life and I have this thought in the back of my head at all times that I’m gay. I just want my life back

Cheating ocd. Does anyone else just fear that finding other people attractive is mentally cheating on your partner? Every time I notice someone is attractive or have any intrusive sexual thoughts or feelings about someone other than her I feel so incredibly guilty and worried that I am hurting her. She suffers from body image issues and we had a conversation about this once (it went really really poorly because I had no clue what ocd was at the time). This conversation is actually what started the ocd spiral that led me to therapy though I had been dealing with intrusive thoughts for years before. Does anyone relate to this experience and have any advice? (I’m working with a NOCD therapist rn)

So my boyfriend and I had a rocky past. For the last 2 1/2 years we were on & off but never fulllly serious. So he always talked to girls and flirted and did all that. As did I when I was single single. During those times I found out cuz I would look through his phone. We eventually ended it for good and then a few months later he started to get his act right and we started to date officially and have been very committed for a year. I mean everything, meeting family, trips, he’s shown a lot that he’s changed in those aspects. My only boundary I asked from him was that when it came to social media, I didn’t want him liking pics of girls half naked or going on a follow spree of girls. I never cared about celebrities and I only refer this to girls i don’t like who don’t respect me/our relationship or friends of his that post bikini pics. That’s all lol. Social media was a huge thing for us because I would find everything out and so he told me he feels trapped like he can’t like anything and I know his every move. He’s afraid of leaving his phone with me cuz he feels I’ll look at his texts with his friends and everything and get mad at even a comment he makes. I had major trust issues going into this because of the past and eventually hit a point where I do trust him, but sometimes I have fears and insecurities and get that urge to look at his ig or his phone. He gets really upset if I violate his privacy and I get that, which is why I haven’t done in a long time but sometimes I’m like ok I have to just see. And I saw that he snapped a girl I hated, he just asked what bar it was and to him anything he says to other ppl is innocent and I get that and believe it but he doesn’t understand how those specific women work and why i feel it’s disrespectful. I mean he never asked me to but I deleted almost everyone I’ve even kissed. I don’t remember in the moment but I thought I saw a girl he snapped who has a premium Snapchat or something because in the messages she sent her PayPal from 2 years ago but she was in his recents snaps. I didn’t ask about that because we already had a huge conversation and now I’m really bothered by it but I’m usually wrong when I ask him anything so I’m afraid to bring it up. I am really bothered by that but I also know that he wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship. He shows me off all the time and he’s always showing how committed he is to me and I do believe that but still this weirdly makes me feel like when he’s alone he just looks at girls and does small things that aren’t break up worthy but enough to make him feel “free”. I mean dude I give him so much freedom so it fucking sucks that me having moments of insecurity and ONE boundary bounces back to me being an intrusive stalker girlfriend. I hadn’t went through his phone since February and I don’t ever want to do it like that again. I had a moment of weakness and I did see something I didn’t like, asked him and we did kind of just let it go but it turned into him telling me he feels like he can’t do nothing without me finding out even if it’s something as innocent as a like or a text to his friend saying a girl is cute or something. Like dude ur fucking human stfu I don’t care, I talk about guys with my friends. Just don’t act on it? And I know he wouldn’t so it’s like because of one thing he adds more shit to it and feels like I am trying to control him. And he WONT LISTEN TO ME and says I’m the problem cuz I have went through his phone. It sucks when we don’t see eye to eye on this. Everything else we can work through but this always becomes a huge thing cuz we don’t see eye to eye on it.

I have a fear of taking Zoloft. I have been fitting taking meds for a year now and feel i need something. Can i get positives / success stories. I know each person is different but would be nice to hear the positive side!

I‘ve had relationship OCD before, but mostly just in very short episodes. However it has been very present in the past weeks and it’s been very hard to deal with since my boyfriend is kind of my safe space and helps me calm down, but now I feel like OCD is pushing me away even from him

Since covid has happened, i have been very introverted and at home a looot. and so when i finally have gone out (last night i went out for the first time in months) i have had intrusive thoughts all day feeling like i did something wrong or offended someone or embarrassed myself. i also have a foggy memory since i had a few drinks. i even start to completely question events and convos and almost like want to start making up things that never happened. this happens very badly when i go out to bars or with my friends. i start replaying the conversations i had in my head and feel awful. it happens mildly when i go to the store or have smaller social interactions. has anyone had similar experiences and if so, is anything helped you? i feel like i keep wanting reassurance from people around me to tell me i was acting fine, but i think its probably only making my thoughts worse. i hope this made sense, thanks so much for reading this

If I tell suicide hotline that I’m gay what would they do fuck I’m scared right now I’ve completely gone off the deep end I shut down I don’t even talk to people anymore people at work think I’m gay im almost positive I’m just in closet I know I’ve come on here and said this a million times but I think I actually am gay just was too stubborn to admit it and am extremely scared of what people with think about me I’m a caring person but I’m ashamed of these thoughts I’m scared to even call hotline

PLZ SOMEONE HELP! I am currently and this happens a lot have anger rumination and I learned about what that is today. Every time I am upset at my partner (I have just right rocd) I dwell in it, and can’t forgive even if there isn’t an apology and the person didn’t mean to do said thing or even told me they are sorry I feel that way, I feel threatened and mad at them even if it’s not their fault and they didn’t actually do anything wrong I received the wrong impression I can’t change how I think my automatic feeling and response is anger and the thoughts “well his impression was a certain way so that’s his fault for showing that”… then I blame him and I feel bad because it hurts his feelings when he didn’t actually mean to make me feel a certain way and I saw something different than what his intention was. I still think automatically on repeat and feel so stuck that it’s his fault and he needs to apologize and even then I try to process my emotions and cry and let it out and try and move on but the terrible dread I feel that just sits there of anger and feeling justified and crossing my arms just continues. It’s like my irrational mind and rational mind are fighting and texting about this is not good, I would rather talk in person but I got exposed to covid at work and I am waiting for my test results whenever that is. The thing that happened was I was going to take a rapid pcr test because I wanted results fast so I could do Halloween and go to a Halloween party tonight and then they told me it’s not as accurate as the regular pcr test that takes 24 hours and I felt pressured because he told me his dad has surgery that week so he can’t have that chance and decision making with ocd is hard so I felt half like okay I am waiting because I def don’t want him to be sick and I have to be really sure I don’t have covid and then the other side was once I did the regular pcr results he said I didn’t have to and he would be okay with the rapid one and I felt mad at him because I already had that pressure and then could have gone to that Halloween party and stuff but I do know that my ocd would still be like that’s wrong to just do the rapid one because of a party and then get his dad sick. So I feel mad that I had to do that in order for him and then I suffer by not being able to go out tonight. Hopefully someone can respond I know this is long

Please help. When I was 15 - 17 i was on a app where you could chat with other people with your camera on. I masterbaited with women on this app. I did this often. I have bad guilt and shame over this. Idk if some one was too young to do this with me or if I showed my private parts to someone who didn’t wan to see or got traumatized by it. I know that people screen record chats like this and posts it on adult sites and I fear that I might be on the internet some wear and that someone will find it. I can’t remember if I showed my face when I chatted like this or if I only showed my private parts. I have extreme anxiety over this. I cry every night, have nightmares and wake up shaking and sweating. I feel discussing and I feel like I don’t deserve anything. I feel like I live a lie too the people I love that don’t know what I’ve done. I think about this event every day and I’ve thought about it every day for like 8 months now. It’s constantly in my head 24/7. I feel like I’m going insane. I feel depressed. Like my life is over. I don’t know how to get to peace with this. (I feel like I don’t deserve my girlfriend. I did this chat thing before I got my girlfriend just so you know). I’m 19 now. I’ve always confessed to my mom about things that I’m not proud of my whole life but this event I feel like I can’t confess about because I feel so much shame about it. I’m so scared please help. I don’t value my self high anymore and I just do things to make others happy. I just want this event to be undone. Please help me.

Would this be considered OCD? When I get up in the morning, I consider myself downstairs. As the day goes on, noon and afternoon become the landing of the staircase, and evening and night become the upstairs. I also do the same thing only different with age and using a ladder. From baby to five is one level, age six to ten, another level, eleven to fifteen, another level, sixteen to twenty, another level. after twenty, it goes in ten rungs of the ladder, like twenty one to thirty, and so on. Also with the age the ladder starts out going upwards, then to the right, then up, then to the right. I've never thought much about it until now. Just a question. Doesn't feel like it would be to me, but then a lot of things are that I wouldn't think of as being.

Yesterday I felt agitated for no reason and my thoughts were all over the place.. I continued to not engage them..well to the best of my ability but they were bizzare all day. I felt agitated for the majority of the day for no reason. Has anyone experienced this?

Does OCD ever go away? I constant feel stuck in my head and feel that I am impaired. Have been on medication for the last one year, done over 25 therapy sessions but nothing seems to work

How is medication working for y'all? I'm thinking of taking it to maybe help me because the anxiety and physical symptoms pull me back. I've never taken medication before and am scared and don't really even know where to start. Is it a journey to find the right medication?

Does anyone else’s Harm OCD have cannibalism as a theme? For example, having a random intrusive thought about eating a human being. Traditionally, the person being in front of you and then the intrusive thought attacks? TO BE CLEAR, I DO NOT WANT TO BE A CANNIBAL NOR WISH TO PARTAKE IN ANY FORM OF CANNIBALISM! Unfortunately, I watched the movie Hannibal Lecter at to young of an age and my undeveloped mind and what ultimately turned out to be OCD/Harm OCD brain; unfortunately had it ‘Stick,’ as they say in OCD language. That being the case, my Harm OCD evidently latched onto the theme/movie and my biggest fear would be ever becoming a cannibal. And those of us with OCD in general/in this case Harm OCD; it attacks our biggest fears and goes entirely against our morals, values, etc. I’ve honestly never voiced this in any public forum before and have only spoken about this in private with my NOCD therapist, but I feel that exposing this and ‘Letting go of it,’ in a sense will truly start the healing/recovery process. Any/all feedback would be greatly appreciated! Sending love, compassion and support to all those battling the monster that is OCD (Harm) 💌

Hi, any other bisexual people struggling with SOOCD or ROCD on here? (Don’t know if this is reassurance or not)

Happy #FloofFriday everyone! I took a break from posting for a few days, I've just been incredibly down. Could use some words of encouragement idk. I'm pretty bummed today, but I am working on self care and I hope all of you wonderful people are too ❤❤❤ Idk why gyps looks like this 🤣 but she was posing this morning so I was like why not ahaha