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the NOCD Community

anyone else had ocd from a very young age? I’m talking like, I remember obsessions from when I was 6. and my family remembers my symptoms from even earlier. I didn’t get help until I was 15 because my family isn’t big on mental health. anyway, it frustrates me that I genuinely don’t know what it’s like to live without ocd. Sometimes I hear/see people talk about how they just wish things could back to how they were ‘before,’ or that imagining what their life was like before onset helps motivate them in recovery. But I don’t have anything like that. in fact, it’s almost scary to think about recovering completely because I don’t know anything else? it depresses me

So, just want to share an experience with you guys. So I’ve been struggling with pocd and today i hung out with my best friend and her kids and went to the playground. I’ve been struggling with this for months now but I never told her, my best friend, that i was struggling with this because of her being a mom. But today, I finally told her to get it off my chest. Not only was she understanding, but she asked me to hold her baby boy multiple times and to go to her daughters room to check on her as she napped. I feel that today was a big step for me. And so, I think it’s important that was do what scares us and that we reach out to people. Although we have to rely on ourselves to heal our minds, its a journey we cant totally walk alone.

I feel like my therapist just doesn’t understand. He tells me the same thing each time and every time I tell him I’ve tried and it doesn’t work for me so i don’t know what else to do.

i have really bad contamination ocd and i can honestly get through my days without panic attacks but it always requires that i have hand sanitizer, wet wipes and access to wash my hands and be able to shower afterwards. i’m feeling like there’s no hope because i can get through the days okay and i try not to let other people know about it because i deal with it all privately but i’m afraid i’ll never be able to stop with all of the cleaning throughout the day. does anyone have tips to stop cleaning their hands or anywhere that may have gotten “dirty” or anything like that? thank you (:

What are exposures you all do for rocd?

Did anyone here managed to completely overcome ocd? And if yes for how long did you have it before you heal ?

Today I will buy CBD oil!! But I dont know if a seller knows the best dose for OCD!!!

Almost sure I have a concussion. I got it on Saturday and my headache since then has been hurting. Then the idea popped into my head like what if my brain is bleeding or what if I die in my sleep and now I’m super anxious and don’t know what to do because it’s so late at night and I can’t go to a doctor right now

Hi Everyone- I’m going to give myself 2 weeks to see if I can make progress battling contamination OCD using the tips and tools from people here. Some that I have found super helpful is sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts and letting them be vs doing the compulsions. I have major contamination issues with the public dirty bathroom feeling like it spread all over me. Any other tips on how to battle those thoughts? If I am unable to reduce 1.5 hour shower time I’m afraid I have to take my meds but I am avoiding it if I can try the “tools” first. I don’t have a therapist yet but my GP gave me my prescription. So if you have contamination tips and tools, please send them my way! For those who already sent your tips in the past, thanks so much! Lark

Hello guys sorry for the extreamly long post. Today’s has been a horrible day with my Pocd and religious ocd. I’ve been having a hard time with a memory I have that has been triggering both of them. I think I was the junior year of college and my dad would bring home scary movies that we would watch together (my mom) not so much. So he thought this movie was a horror movie and we watched it and it was ok at first. It was about a investigator and his son who had a brain tumor. The investigator was on a case to try and catch a pedophile(hate that word). And his son want to help him catch the guy. In the end you figure out it was all in the sons head when he was in a coma recovering. There was one scene were the investigator was looking at pictures of and he came across pictures of little kids and it showed the back of them and pocd freaked out. My dad asked if I wanted to turn it off. Personally I now with my clear head I would turn off that shit in a second. And be like “nope bye Felicia”. But I was so fricken numb at the time I didn’t care but I remember feeling uncomfortable and nervous. And I was telling myself it was almost done. I felt that if I did turn it off I would be giving in to my ocd. Well we finished the movie and we all know what happens next yep I start thinking I’m a pedophile because I watched the movie. And I started testing myself to see if I was by going back to that one scene with the picture. I know I’m not because I’m disgusted at the thought of someone making a movie like that. But it also affected my Religious ocd. Am I a bad person. Am I going to hell now because I watched this horrible movie. I don’t know. Everything is just so frustrating. I usually never watch movies like that I always watch paranormal movies or the serial killer ones like Friday the 13th. But never anything like this. Can you guys help me Thank you and god bless you all ❤️❤️❤️

hi ! i am new here. i think that i have ocd , i am 14 and i have a lot of symptoms . i told my doctor about this and he laughed at me he just said, and i quote “some people have it so bad that they can’t even can’t get out of bed” . i was beyond shocked and pissed , he just compared me to other people who have it worse. he said that if it got any worse to come to him and ask again and he will see if i needed a person to talk to. here are all of my symptoms : goes back and touches / smells things over again checks locks constantly the number 4 - 4 ppl in my family pausing video and listening closely to make sure their all okay, will sometimes get out of bed and check in all of them “if u don’t do this - they will die” 6th grade- would kiss picture of us all and say a prayer on each of their faces- would get angry if interrupted scary thoughts of hurting people even though i know that i never would repetitive thoughts- thinking of the same over again repeating conversations in my head and analyzing each word - even simple things counting syllables in words many times - sometimes even w/o even being aware when someone mispronounces a word i will say the way they said it and then the correct way 4 times always going back to check things. lights, doors, family, etc. stopped watching scary movies bc they always triggered bad thoughts ex. someone in the movie gets murdered by getting hit w a bat. my head makes me think of me doing the same thing to my family stopped having sleepovers in fear that i would hurt them. i knew i wouldn’t though confessions can’t blink at “harmful objects” it’s a lot i’m sorry. i told him these and he still didn’t believe me. please please please pleaseeee hey back to me

I’ve had hocd for around 7 months now, wasn’t too bad at first but has been getting progressively worse and worse, partly because of a lack of sex drive but also because I frighteningly only experience arousal when thinking about men but nothing happens any more when I think about women, literally zero. I try not to judge other people, but I wouldn’t really want to be gay, cos it would mean that my whole life was a lie from before this came along. I don’t mind other people doing it but it’s never been my thing, and now I can’t even get any feelings for girls like I did before. I try and ignore any thoughts that come along about how I must have been gay from the start and attribute that too OCD, while accepting the possibility that it could be real, but the arousal in the wrong context is too disturbing to let that pass. I just wanted to know if anyone was experiencing something similar. Bit of background: I’m a virgin and have always had a relatively low sex drive for a long while after coming off watching porn, but before the HOCD struck. Had POCD before and that was awful but always related to girls not guys.

As someone who has suffered from debilitating OCD throughout my life, I can completely understand all of you. It is a vicious cycle. The invasive thoughts are the worst. And the more you try to ignore it the stronger it gets, it seems. At one point I felt I couldn’t longer handle it. I just wanted the thoughts and compulsions to end. I even begged my doctor to give me ECT therapy (shock therapy). I was at my wits end. I tried so many drugs that I can’t even name them all. Sometimes they would help but only marginally. And most had side effects that were intolerable at times. Some of the drugs actually made the OCD worse. I would get nightmares. I would go to bed with dread, and wake up with dread. It’s a constant state of fear that unless you suffer from OCD you could not understand. So let me tell you I understand. It is incredibly lonely mental disease to have. If I had a dollar for every time somebody said to me “ just think about something else “ or “Do things to keep yourself busy” etc… I’d have a huge stack of dollar bills. Explaining OCD to somebody who does not have it is like trying to explain color to a person who has never had sight. Even doctors don’t understand. All they can do is tell you what they learned in a textbook, and based on what they have experienced with other OCD patients. My OCD is always going to be there and I have accepted that, but it’s just a matter of managing it and trying to get the most quality out of life as possible. This would be my plan of attack: First of all, accept that OCD is something that you like we will have to live with just as diabetic people have to live with diabetes. There is no magic cure for OCD, and really no drug that treats it. You also need understand that you are not your brain. You are completely separate from your brain. You are not your thoughts. You are the unmanifested consciousness that resides in your body. Your brain is merely a tool. That’s really all it is. You are the watcher of the projections and thoughts that come from your brain. You are not putting these thoughts and compulsions into your brain, it is the other way around. Your brain is actually putting these thoughts into YOU. I know this sounds crazy but I like to think of my brain as a bratty kid who constantly wants attention. The more I pay attention to it, the more it will act up because it knows it will get a reaction out of me. stop and think for a second of how you really should treat a bratty child that is spoiled and trying to get your attention. The best thing to do is not to engage. ingnore. I know it’s hard when there’s a screaming bratty kid in your head and you just want to shut it up, but you have to trek through the tantrums. You have to trek through the thoughts that it’s pushing into yourself. More power you have over your mind the less power it will have over you. Remember on the other side of all the screaming in your head there is peace. Behind all noise there is silence. You have to find that silence beyond all that noise. You can get there, but it takes practice. You need to be the watcher of the bratty kid that is your mind. When a bad thought projects from your mind, observe it as a third-party. I have found that separating myself from my brain has been the only real relief for me. And it is the kind of relief that is long term and the relief is stronger and stronger as I get more power over my brain. I highly recommend reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It goes into this far more deeply. Sometimes my brain will still try and throw little tantrum‘s (OCD thoughts) here and there. And you want to know what I do? I roll my eyes! I don’t fight with it ( remember it wants a reaction out of you ) . I quietly observe it, and the feelings it brings along with it. Then it fades away. Just remember, things will get better. They will. Especially if you don’t engage. Remember your thoughts are not who you are. Your consciousness is far more powerful than any thoughts could ever be! Most importantly don’t lose hope! Don’t ever lose hope!

FUCK i really REALLYneed help. Been overthinking. My fucking cousins have lice and they’re contagious right? Well I contracted and I’ve been doing everything to get them out but my cousins are lazy and won’t exert the same effort. I thought I was free from if, turns out I still have it bc I found a big one. I’m FREAKING out. My friends and I are close and I just worry I might have given it to them too and I’m gonna cause an outbreak. I feel so guilty and like i have to confess to them incase they do have it so they can take precautionary measures so we wont be passing lice to each othef but at the same time i kind of dont want to because im so scared they’ll avoid me or not be as close much I’m 19, lices are for kids. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed i dont know what to do

Everything is getting so much worse especially these stupid visions that feel so real that I feel I'm not here anymore I'm just trapped in my own mind with these visions anf I feel it's making me fade away and losing my mind , am I going to be crazy? ...i think I'm already tho

Hello. I’m new. I’m going to therapy tomorrow and we’re gonna start CBT soon. I’m really scared and I don’t want to open up cause I don’t want to say all of it. I’m a bad person

Does anyone take Zoloft . I have the medication with me but I’m just to scare to start it. Does it actually really help with ocd/anxiety?

So are there any success stories here? Like I know this seems needy but I just kind of want to manage my expectations when it comes to “recovery”....like who here tried therapy or medication or both and had it really help them in their lives and how?

I’ve never been the type of person to open up about myself but these last 3 months have been the hardest, worst time of my life. I’m 16 years old, and I’ve been anxious and had anxiety my whole life. Over the last couple years I’ve learned how to cope with my anxiety and be a happy person. But one night in January, i was watching random videos on YouTube, and a video about serial killers came on. I’ve always been interested in crime shows/documentaries, so I didn’t think twice before deciding to click on it. In the middle of the video I had this intrusive thought that said “why do people murder loved ones or innocent people” and “what does it feel like to kill somebody” I am not aggressive, or have ever caused harm, but these thoughts scared me to death. I felt a instant shock of anxiety and panic immediately. I thought something was wrong with me. I turned my phone off and went to bed hoping the next day I would forget about it. Unfortunately I never forgot about the thoughts, and still have intrusive thoughts that affect my day to day life. I feel so hopeless, even after seeing a therapist, and being on Prozac for 5 weeks I don’t feel a difference. Every time I try to be positive and tell myself “they’re just thoughts” ocd tells me, “yeah sure, but what if you did these things”? “What if you WANT to do these things”? I stress that I might actually want to do these horrible things secretly and am convinced that one day I will commit these crimes. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so hopeless, and even being around my girlfriend who used to bring me so much joy, I still can’t be my regular self. Please I feel so hopeless and sad I can’t even do the things I used to enjoy, remembering I have these thoughts is with me 24/7 from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. Anybody have advice? Sorry for the rant I just needed to get this off my chest. I just want to be normal again and enjoy being around my family and my girlfriend again

Hiii. So I’ve been having not so great a day today and recently. It’s honestly not even involving OCD and more my general anxiety and depression. It’s just stemming from an issue that I’m stressing over and struggling with. I’ve been feeling kind of alone, but I’ve been reminding myself of the community I have on here and that’s a great comfort. If anyone is in need of any help please let me know. I’d love to help ❤️❤️