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Did you know that being pregnant/having a child *in and of itself* is one of the most triggering events connected to the onset of OCD? Makes sense to us.

There is one thing I realized after a year of suffering from HOCD and POCD, my two most prominent and reoccuring themes. It's been really hard to put into words and it has been causing me much pain through rumination. The thing is, I know who I am, I'm not going to do anything suddenly out of character and completely against my values. It's stressful when those thoughts occur, sure, but my only instinct is to avoid the triggers, which is the complete opposite of my feared scenarios. I've been exposing myself not through ERP (currently working on getting a therapist, you can't get NOCD therapist where I live) but by almost forcefully resuming my social activities and working/studying more. It's a simple way of dealing with OCD, you ask yourself what would I be doing right now if I didn't have OCD. The other part is asking yourself what wouldn't I be doing if I didn't have OCD. Of course, after asking yourself you do the opposite of your OCD. That way you can identify various compulsions (such as avoidance in the first or rumination/mental compulsions for the second part, atleast for me) and by avoiding the compulsions you'll be able to bring up the thoughts you've been avoiding. That way I was able to bring up almost one year old thoughts which I thought were gone, only to find out I've been doing avoidance compulsions all this time to avoid being triggered. When you bring them up it's up to you to prove the value of habituation and avoid further compulsions (which you would have identified this way), however unpleasant it may seem. It's not a complete solution but one that keeps me in a somewhat functional state. But going back to the original thing that I wanted to say, I do not fear having a different sexual orientation. It's a somewhat okay thing in todays world and I'm sure I would be able to make it work somehow. Likewise, I'm not afraid I would hurt or abuse children/underage people, just writing it feels laughable. Yes, people sometimes do impulsive things and peoples thoughts attach to that micro possibility of you being a threat to other people but deep down I know that I would avoid doing such things with all my strength. Those thoughts of death being a preferred scenario are just mental reassurance. I do not believe I'm at risk any more than anyone else, I would even go as far as saying I'm a lower risk. The thing I realized is that all of my themes can be boiled down to the fear of losing my identity. It's not the acting out the thoughts part, I'm the one in control of my body. It's been a huge part of my rumination because I would worry why am I not afraid of the thoughts? Are you not afraid of acting out your thoughts? You damn should be, you just had a thought involving a 14 year old, how dare you! You should feel like absolute shit, you SHOULD be afraid of acting out the thoughts! That was the difficult part of explaining it to a psychiatrist that I was talking to a few months ago. Of course I can have any thought pop up. I can actively think about chopping your head off with an axe, won't make it any more probable than before having the thought. It is the easy to understand part. The feared scenario is the possibility of having those devious attractions (referring to POCD here, not HOCD) and it's feared because it completely contradicts my character and identity, the acting out part is not so much the feared part which at first glance seems atleast irresponsible. Although the manifestation is different, those two themes feed of the same fear of losing my identity. I could write much more but I just realized how long this already is, thank you for reading my rambling if you got this far 😅. Excuse my english, I'm not a native speaker.

My OCD has me convinced that if someone and I, male or female, get along that we will fall in love and that will betray my husband. I overanalyze interactions with others. I believe my hocd and rocd stem from fear of losing my partner. I also have an anxious attachment style and anxiety runs in my family so it makes perfect sense that I would have OCD.

If anyone with experience switching ssri’s would be willing to read this I would really appreciate it. I have one week left on Zoloft before I completely stop it. At that time, I will have been on 20 mg of Prozac for two weeks. I will have to decide if I should try to increase the Prozac at that point. I’m having a hard time telling what side effects are from going off Zoloft and what are from the Prozac. The last three days I have noticed my anxiety has increased and something just feels…off. It’s like something about reality is different. I know that makes no sense and sounds odd. I wish I could explain it better. It’s like how I absorb stimuli around me is different in a uncomfortable way. Sorry I’m rambling. Has anyone felt anything similar to this with their medication? I’m not sure if it’s from going off the Zoloft or if it’s the Prozac. I would really appreciate any advice I could get. Thanks!

Hi everyone, recently i’ve been dealing with ROCD a lot more than usual. i have been dating this person for almost 2 years and it’s been filled with ups and downs, to put the most “downs” we’ve had is me being cheated on throughout the relationship since the beginning, probably over 5 times. With that being said it caused me to overthink all the time non stop. i’m not a invasive person but i did go through this persons phone. i couldn’t control myself because i’m constantly getting thoughts that there’s something they’re hiding. which 11/10 there is. i’ll constantly being lied to over little things and it hurts, my s/o does have compulsive lying as a problem but i also try to understand they can’t really help it. they have had a very traumatic childhood and has been lying from the age of 6 - 19 ( currently). my brain is constantly telling me there’s more i’m missing and it’s been having a hard time on me because i can’t eat right and as soon as i wake up in the morning i can’t help but cry. 2 days ago i found out they saw someone behind my back and they had a video with another person. they’ve also admitted to deleting messages but they claim they can’t remember what was said. i constantly feel like i have to pry at them for hours on end just to get the truth even if it’s something small, i forgot to mention they live with me. we sleep in the same bed, share a room. everything. we’re always together and i don’t want to give up on them, i can’t, my body and heart just won’t allow me and i think that’s what’s the hardest part. i know i deserve better and i want better but it’s just like i want this person. i know i can’t make someone love me or care about me no matter what i do but my brain just won’t let me rest. i constantly tell myself if i do this or that they’ll love me more and maybe they’ll stop doing bad things. whenever we have a fight or conversation about how i feel about something they did that wasn’t right i never get to “grieve” because i always end up comforting them and making them feel reassured that it’s okay. even when it’s not. that’s all i’ve ever known in this relationship. of course we have our happy moments but it’s just so stressful because when you’re with someone who lies 24/7, it’s like do i even really know who you are or is this all a lie?

Does someone have the compulsion to "confess" their obsessions to a certain person? Cause every time I get an obsessive thought, I get the urge immediately after to tell my boyfriend what I thought, since we both agreed to not keep secrets from one another. For example, if I saw a gross picture on Instagram, or had a dream of me dating someone else, I felt like something terrible would happen if I didn't tell him what I saw. So I always have to tell him my bad thoughts I get or my anxiety takes me over, which it eventually does later anyway since it's a compulsion and only gives temporary relief. Even if my brain knows the thought I'm having will hurt his feelings sometimes, I'm still extremely urged by Ocd to tell him or I feel like a liar or fake or untrusting girlfriend. Then when I do tell him I feel better for a second until his feelings are hurt because of my stupid compulsion and then anxiety about what he thinks of me comes soon after 😭

damn :( Ariana Grande is one my favorite artists ever, but on the last episode of The Voice, there was a clip where the judges were playing Jenga and Blake Shelton made it fall to the ground, and then Ariana said something like “sorry guys, my OCD, i have to clean it up” and it pissed me off so much. it hurts to hear people using OCD like that PERIOD, but hearing it from someone with such a huge platform, someone who is one of my idols, and someone who generally knows / cares a lot about mental health / illnesses hurt even more 😕

Another vent I’m so sorry! I just come to realize that I feel like I’m the only one struggling and doing this to myself. It sucks because I look at the people around and I wish I could be like them. I don’t want to be obsessive. I don’t want these thoughts and worries. Realizing this is forever sucks. I’m crying again. I’m always crying because I’m such an emotional person. I hate it. It’s so funny because everytime I always feel like I’m doing better like no crying and stuff but it only last a couple weeks or days. I just don’t know if I can live a fulfilling life.

Can someone explain rumination to me with some specific examples? I can’t find any good answers for it to know if I’m doing it or not!

Could this be a real event OCD? I apologise in advance if some part of this post are not comprehensible, english is not my first language. I'm also sorry for dragging too much on the argument, feel free to skip this Almost a month passed and I'm still stressed and anxious about what happened, it definitely has got better but until a week ago I woke up every morning feeling guilty about something I didn't do, it felt like if something was eating me from the inside. I feel like I'm not allowed to be happy, I can't fully enjoy hanging out with my friends anymore without feeling unpure or scared of the fact that one day they will turn their back on me believing the horrible rumors that live in my head, treating me like if I were some kind of a monster and saying things like "I always thought he was weird". I think worst fear has to be people misunderstanding me, believing in rumors and pointing their finger to me when something bad happens (something that happened a lot in the past) I used to chat in a telegram group with strangers, who were very edgy and joked about anything, even the most fucked up things, I was in the group because at that time I was alone and I didn't have many friends, it was a sort of escapism. As time passed I stopped chatting as often as I used to, almost to the point that I'd open the app only once every month. I deleted my account a lot of times, but I'd always come back out of boredom. Now I'm 15 and I've found a group of good friends that I don't want to lose, so I started hanging out more with them and basically stopped chatting on telegram. I'd check the messages once in a while to see what they were up to, because some of them were genuinely good people. During the summer people in the group chat talked about the new EU Policy called "Chat Control" (you can check it on google, only saying the word triggers my pocd) and some of them started joking about them having **** material, I was grossed out but initially I didn't think too much, I was sure they were joking (the average age of the group was 16, but I know that doesn't mean anything), but it was too much for me. I was afraid that one day someone would leak the chats online and that I'd get cancelled or accused of being something I'm not, and that my friends would leave my side and jump on the rumors because it's always easier that way. (It's the way cancel culture works, guilty until innocent) So I told them that I was quitting telegram because I didn't want to be associated with them anymore and so I did. I also asked some close friends to delete messages containing my real name for the same reason. I also wasn't that type of person anymore, I wanted to surround myself with a healthy enviroment and start being a better and kinder person. I thought that this was also an opportunity to finally close this bad chapter of my life and move on with life. Watching Dr K. on twitch (he's a psychiatrist who streams) also helped me a lot to grow as a person, at that time I suffered a lot from low self esteem, insicurities and bad communication skills, so he helped me prioritize mental health. My dream job is becoming a psychiatrist. Everything was going quite well until that night where I made the mistake to create a new telegram account, out of curiosity and boredom. When I came back a dude in the group chat that misunderstood the reason I had left was convinced that it was was because I had child ****, it triggered me and my pocd kicked in and I started panicking. My worst fear was happening right in that moment. I tried to say that it wasn't true but I don't think I did a very good job explaing myself, as I said before I suck at communicating. After lingering on what to do I made up an excuse to leave and deleted my account. But I think that made things worse, it definitely looked more suspicious. That day the whole world fell on top of me, it felt like everything was over for me. The anxiety and fear of being accused of being a **** was too much for me, until that day I was dealing pretty well with pocd, trying not to think about it. I had thoughts like "what if they start believing what he said? What if they report me to the police? What if my friends find out?" I cried myself to sleep. I didn't eat and speak much for two days, I constantly replayed the conversation that took place that day in my head over and over again, trying to fix my answer, wanting to clear the misunderstanding. I couldn't live with someone thinking that I was a ****. Then I finally vented to my mother, who was surprisingly understandive and willing to listen without judging me. She made me understand thar it wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't feel guilty. That helped me very much, but that still was reassurance right? In fact OCD found other ways to fuck me over, making doubt about other things. Every morning I woke up feeling like a mongers, I went to school feeling like a monster and went to sleep feeling like a monster. There were days where I was "okay" but then OCD would suddenly appear to ruin my day so I'd just go straight inside the bed sheets feeling like shit until it was somehow bereable. It's not that frequent tho, this past week there were more days where I felt "normal" (it was more bereable, but the guilt was always there) than days where I felt like a monster, thanks to the support of my mum and the community on NOCD. But I still don't know when OCD is going to strike me down, stronger than before. The only positive thing that came out of this situation is my stronger relationship with my mother. I should always be thankful to her, but I don't show it enough. I have to hang on til 21 October, that will be my first appointment with a neuropsychiatrist, I want to get help. I think I swayed a lot from my initial question, but do you think that this a Real Event OCD mixed with POCD?

First - I want to say Thank you to this amazing community. Second - OCD is a sneaky little shit! I have come so far since diagnosis and treatment, and in the last week each time I am having a really good day with tackling challenges that I haven’t in the last 6 months without doing compulsions, I suddenly find my self having an intense OCD episode with a completely new sub type. Normally I deal with Just Right and no intrusive thoughts, instead i get intense urges to change, fix, or clean something, which was sending me into 10-12 hours of daily compulsive loops prior to treatment in March. It has been almost 3 weeks since the last one and it was only 45 minutes. So this whole experience with intrusive thoughts is new to me. (Except life long with existential that I just found out is OCD last week) Each time the new themes have come, it’s super intense, scary, upsetting and I have freaked out for about 30 minutes. And then realized it was OCD and responded using the tools I have learned from PHP program, NOCD therapist, and thru the OCD community. I want to thank everyone that shares there struggles, there wins, there tools. What pulled me out of the panic each time has been remembering something said by someone during a community group that made realize what I was experiencing was OCD. I am so thankful for this community and for everyone that shows up to help themselves work on managing OCD.

Hey guys, before I hit the hay, I wanted to share that I got married today. My obsession is feeling as though I have “cheated” in the past by different things I have said, done, implied, etc and feeling the urge to confess them. It’s scary, and I’ll never know for sure what my husband would think about every single thing I have said, done, etc, but it feels so good to be loved anyway. And it feels so good to have not let my OCD scare me out of getting married, because he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, so damn it that’s what I’m going to do, whether I feel I deserve it or not.

Hey can any Christians talk to me about the difference between God's voice and your own/intrusive thoughts? I have a really hard time being able to tell what God is saying to me. Today I felt like God was leading me to go to this thing at a coffee shop (a hw study) and i have been asking God to lead me towards the guy Iike if its his will. So i went and the guy wasn't there. But then I had time so i went to my college to do some hw and he was there!! And we talked for a while! I don't know if it was God leading me to him, the devil, or a coincidence but it was kind of crazy. I don't know how to tell though

This is going to be a post that talks about sexual OCD, real events, and POCD. People 18 AND OLDER please. I actually have something that bothers me from time to time about OCD. The topic of that is avoidance. Masturbation is a problem for me. Everybody knows what it is, most of us have done it, yet we don't talk about it. Is it avoidance if I choose not to masturbate because of the guilt I feel after? Should I not do it because of the sexual intrusive thoughts that come up? Should I avoid it completely because I don't want to be addicted to it or be deemed a pervert? When I do it, pornography is not only not used, not needed, but not preferred. I don't know if avoiding it will help me or make me feel better about myself. On one hand I want to control my urges but on the other I feel like I'm restricting myself from what's being used as a harmless sexual release. This confuses me a lot. I find myself only doing it so the feelings of arousal, groinals, and urges go away completely but they come back. Is there a way for it to go away long term or should I get used to it?

I've been binging on Katie d'Ath videos and she's been very helpful. She's been uploading more videos about OCD recently and her advice really helps me think about things differently. The analogies she uses when speaking about intrusive thoughts and scenarios are nice.

Hey fellow obsessive compulsives:) happy monday!:) I did some fun nails yesterday, what's everyone up to? 😊 Ocd will try to tell ya that you are not interested in the things that bring you joy. DONT listen to that voice. Give ocd the middle finger and do what you love 🤗💛

Tw hocd I think Ive figured it out, I have ocd but Im also unfortunately in denial, I really just need to accept this and move on in real life. Ive had these realizations far too many times but due to having ocd I started doubting these epiphanies too. But I just know now that Im most likely into same sex aswell. I had this thought few times this morning " I wish I didnt feel this" which is the biggest symptom of denial. I just wish I didnt struggle with anxiety and all these painful feelings for a year straight. Man wtf now my whole life will change,my values and everything. Im gonna have to readjust completely, this is a fkin bummer. Im not going to live in the closet, fk that. My only question is do I still see an ocd therapist? bc thoughts are very obsessive and Im feeling anxiety and depression

I have an honest question here! I am seeing TONS of people posting about POCD with these age gaps of a couple years. They say they are 17y and found a 14y attractive. Isn’t that normal? I mean I would say POCD if you were obsessing over if you found a 10 year old or someone who is pre/pubescent attractive?

I’m really struggling today, my thoughts are so aggressive, they won’t stop. They keep telling me you don’t wanna be with him, and so much more and they are the exact opposite of how I feel. It’s been like this for days and gotten increasingly worse, I just feel so tired of fighting, I feel so alone. I feel so betrayed by my own thoughts and so out of control of my own mind. My birthdays coming up and my partner called to ask me what my ring size was, the minute I got off the phone I burst into tears. I had a very short therapy session this morning as part of a trial run free therapy thing being offered within the UK. The therapist was very kind, although it was only 20 minutes she said it sounds like you are really are struggling with anxiety, depression & intrusive thoughts, for a moment I felt relief. I felt believed, I didn’t feel so alone or like I was going insane. She encouraged me to challenge the thoughts, to hold onto the good things & to not let my negative subconscious thoughts destroy this relationship they on a conscious level I know I very very much want. I know that OCD attacks everything and over the last 7 weeks the spectrum of doubts, questions & thoughts I’ve had have been so broad and intense. But I honestly think this has to be the worst, feeling like your fighting your own mind to be in a relationship you want is a new type of torture. I just feel so defeated today.

Hi everyone, hoping to get some advice. I am looking to change my Zoloft for new medicine. It has been my medicine for 18 years and I am currently taking a 250mg dose! I just found out that the side effects are what have caused issues (such as sweating and dry mouth) for years! I am so scared. I’m terrified to change and have a medicine not work. I’m scared it will not work or make me basically “lose it.” Having a disorder such as ours is debilitating and mine is very managed, but I’m so scared to go back to when I was a child and got diagnosed, it was a very dark time for me. Anyone else go through similar situation? How has the transition been? Did you feel secure/safe throughout?