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I feel like no one gets it. That I’m all alone in this. I don’t understand why this is happening. The thoughts feel so real. My mind keeps trying to trick me into thinking that I like the thoughts or want them. It just can’t be. Why does it feel so real? What’s wrong with me 💔

Did anyone freak out even more when they were diagnosed with OCD? I had some intrusive thoughts but they were bearable. It got 10x worse when I started looking into OCD more and was diagnosed.

I have a lot to say to my parents, I am 35 mine started young but hit hard at 16. Why didn’t they get me the help with this I needed growing up?? I could have been cured of this mess this disorder I didn’t have to suffer for 22 years. I feel like a fool like a idiot for suffering all these years I feel like a fool for my past for me trying to “figure myself out” it didn’t have to be like this or like it is for me right now my life could have been so much better and full of love. I am angry both my parents were drug addicts my mom had OCD she didn’t deserve to have kids when my symptoms got severe I turned suicidal my mom decided she wanted a divorce and abandoned us took my bro and sis and left me with her ex. I watched my dad tumble thru the divorce threatens suicide on me 3 times and I watched him put a shotgun in his mouth. All this is coming back up I am 35 now. I can’t stop thinking about the things I saw and the things that happened to me growing up. All this is on the surface now I am dealing with it. It’s all horrible I have been holding all this in for 22 years. I just want to be free and happy 😊. I feel Horrible

How does NOCD make money? And am I wasting resources by using it even though I'm not doing the therapy?

+18 only please Is there anyone on here that has their OCD heavily focused on pornography? It's how my OCD came up in the first place. This article here basically sums up how I feel about it all: https://fightthenewdrug.org/true-story-shame-kept-me-from-quitting-porn/

TRIGGER WARNING I wrote a story about what sexual orientation ocd looks like on a daily basis for me.. I am in no way trying to offend anyone by the context, I am just simply hoping that somebody with the same struggles reads this and knows that they are not alone.. yes I am doing therapy (currently searching for exposure therapy) with the assistance of medication. I'm doing what I need to in order to break this from my life. Hopefully somebody who reads this and relates,, this is a sign for you to get the help too.. we are all here for a reason. Let's work everyday to try and make tomorrow better♥️♥️♥️♥️ Thank you to all who read this!!!! I wake up and taste what kind of day it will be as soon as I let out my first yawn. I never had much uncertainty on that, knowing that my anxiety would alert me as soon as I opened my eyes. I lay down, staring at my phone, looking out the window, feeling like nobody in this world knows what is going through my head. Hell, if I even knew. I put on my robe and slippers and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I stare into the mirror procrastinating starting my day, looking into the eyes of somebody I once knew. Somebody that was sure of themselves in every aspect. I stare and I reminisce about the person I used to be. The person I knew. I start my coffee pot, debating on going to class. I can't possible leave the house today. My mind isn't right. How can I focus on my studies if I don't even know who I am anymore? What if the person that was once so passionate about my major, doesn't care anymore? Then the other side of my brain knows i can't give up, but man what a fight it is going to be today. I drive to school blasting my music. Music I used to enjoy, music I used to sing out loud with my horrible singing voice and never cared what anyone thought. The music that I used to dance to in the ice cream isle in the store. Then my mind sinks in. I sit in class waiting for my teacher to arrive. I look at my classmates who are all chatting amoungst eachother who have such confidence in their beings. I can't help but feel jealous. Wow, her hair is so long and pretty. Wait? Did I just think that? Great, it's starting. I just thought her hair is pretty because gay!!! Then my teacher comes in. Her makeup looks gorgeous today. Really? Another one? Now I can't stop looking at her makeup because I'm GAY! but how can I be gay? I never had a crush or romantic feeling towards a female? I'm not gay. But what if this is denial? What if I never truly knew my sexual orientation like I thought I did. What if me wanting to be friends with the popular girls in middle school was me actually being attracted to them? Even though I was more boy crazy then any 12 year old should be. What if, that time that my friend showed me lesbian porn at age 11, (striking my pornography obsession during puberty) was a sign that I was meant to be a lesbian? Why do I have such fear of this? I'm not homophobic in any way. Am I just a judgemental horrible person? No. I'm not. What if during the magical time that I was falling in love with my amazing boyfriend at age 16, it was just hormones? And it wasn't true love? How can I kiss the man that I know i love so dearly every night before bed with all of this uncertainty. Why do I have this uncertainty? Why do I like to look at other girls makeup, outfits, etc. Oh, thats right, it's because of this toxic fear I internalized growing up that I will never be pretty like the other girls. I've been insecure since I can remember. That must be it. Right? I would know if I'm gay. I mean, come on, I'm 18. I would of had a girl crush by now, right? But that article I read last week said sexuality could be fluid. Is mine? I knew my fear of being with a women was internalized since I was young and I knew a day would come that it would get worse. Is this a sign? ***Bell rings*** My teacher- "great class discussion today, remember the homework is due at midnight!" I leave knowing I took nothing out of that class. Just more uncertainty and anxiety that I have to go home to face. I scramble my thoughts throughout the day until I'm able to shut my eyes and wake up to start this horrible cycle all over again.

My relationship ocd is only one small obsession, but it’s causing me a ton of stress in my marriage. I constantly feel paranoid of cheating or just not ending up together. I often reject affection or love because I’m scared of there attachment I feel. Even after 6 years. What ways can you block out those negative thoughts???

Help 💔 I keep arguing with my mind. I keep having sexual intrusive thoughts and every time I tell my mind I don’t like the thoughts my mind is like “yes you do” and I’m like no, no I don’t. What should I do? Like honestly it feels so real. I do NOT want to ever be a monster or like the thoughts but it’s so convincing. Please help I’m on the end of my rope here

Every time there is more on this Larry Nassar case my real event ocd is triggered once again and I am sent spiraling for days

i’ve been wanting an emotional support dog to help me through specifically my depression and anxiety. does anyone else have one? are they helpful? i’ve been trying to convince my mom for over a year yet i just read on quora digest (i know not the most reliable place) that wanting one is dumb and no one should need one unless it’s a service dog.

Hi I been stressing after having a dream about kissing a girl and I have thought much of it but I started overthinking and thinking until I wasn’t able to feel emotions for either gender and I wake up everyday feeling sick and then get annoyed or sad I don’t feel anything sometimes I convince myself I’m bi so I feel bit of normality but my thoughts feel so real and I don’t know how to handle my hocd cause I have no physical attraction or feelings for girls but my mind is like convincing me I do when I don’t . Does anyone have any advice I’m not really handling this well

I am about 99.99% sure I am bi-sexual but carry immense shame as a bi-male. I cherish traditional relationships or relationships with only women. I don’t know if it’s the anxiety talking or if it’s me but I want out of this depression so I can feel happy regardless of what it is, I don’t want to be depressed or sad anymore I feel a stronger attraction to women. I don’t know what else to say.

The more you try to figure it out and the more you do compulsions will it feel more real. I feel like I’m in the position where I’m genuinely confused if I’m a p or not when before I thought I knew deep down that I wasn’t. But I feel like I’m just so deep into confusion that I don’t know anymore and it feels too real now. Im doomed

This is just so awful. My best friend knows what I’m going through. She knows that I just learned that I probably have OCD. She knows that I’m struggling with doubt. Yet she has given up on me. She has stopped asking how I’m doing. She has stopped loving me. After our psychology class, she said something that was so awful for me to hear. She told “our” friends about how people want a diagnosis so badly. So they look something up and before they even get diagnosed, they start convincing themselves that they have those symptoms. So they essentially make it up. They conform to fit the diagnostic criteria. She said this knowing how scared I am. Knowing how much momentary relief I found when I learned about the different dimensions of ocd. She literally told me that she thought I had ocd (but didn’t tell me when she thought it) before when I told her I think I do. I just don’t understand why she would say that around me. I feel our friendship dissolving, and I don’t have the energy to try and save it.

So I realized I had OCD last month and started treatment right away. I have some of my close friends. All have a proven track record of being trustworthy. I've told some people more than others. However, I haven't told any of my family members. Last night, my mom stopped by and we chatted for like 2 hours. I ended up telling her about my OCD and a little about my journey with ERP. I know her intentions are good. I know she loves me and wants the best for me. But she just doesn't get when it comes to mental health. I told her how this whole thing started after I listened to a podcast about OCD while I was working. Instead of saying something like "Wow. That's amazing that you heard that." She was like "You really shouldn't listening to something like that when you are working. I'm still working from home and most of the time, my job doesn't require any direct customer interaction. I sometimes make a few calls. Also, when I listened to that podcast, I had no idea it would hot me as hard as it did. OCD wasn't even on my radar. She also made the comment "I think everyone is a little OCD." My first thought was "No, they aren't." So the whole thing left me a bit frustrated. So I think I might give her a book to read. Part of me is glad I told her, and part of me really regrets it. I also told her some of my timer intrusive thoughts. Anyone else relate?

Does anyone have any tips for me who keeps losing his appetite due to fear of getting food poisoning or food contamination.

I had a really intimate and romantic moment with someone 😊. I kept getting intrusive thoughts during it but I did self ERP and I pushed on 😊 only problem is that I didn’t get a very strong groinal (but a groinal nonetheless) and it’s making me feel like I didn’t like her in that way... but I loved being with her 😊

I regret some of the illegal things that I saw online when I first got my phone when I was 13. I have a vague memory of seeing something horrific in a Kik group chat, it was cp. even just typing it out absolutely disgusts me. Although I was just a child myself I feel so awful about seeing it, at the time I didn’t even understand what I was watching. Many years later my mind is now twisting what happened telling me things like I’m a pedo and that I liked it..that I’m sick and should have known what I was watching and closed the app. I don’t remember how old the girl even looked but I think she was probably my age or abouts, that’s what confused me. I regret seeing it I want to rip my eyes out of my head. This is really difficult to open up about so please be considerate I don’t know how to begin to forgive myself and move on, or even if I should forgive my younger self makes me feel like I deserve to die

i just can’t stand living in uncertainty about what i’m going to be in the future i don’t want to be lesbian because it’s not who i am or want to be but i’m scared that i’ll end up with a girl in the future

I been thinking about my POCD and I will never have kids. I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend so he can have a girlfriend who isn’t sure she isn’t a p word or not. I just look at kids and I have guilt that I have these disgusting thoughts. I want him to be happy and be with someone who isnt mentally ill and doesn’t have thoughts about assault or children. I’m scared to tell him because it’s almost his birthday and I don’t want to ruin that for him. I feel like being alone forever. It sucks bc before this I knew I wanted to be with him forever and have kids but now I can’t even have that. And I’m unsure if I want to be with him at all. It’s just so hard