- Date posted
- 4y
I don't know what PMS does to the brain, but it's not good. My real event ocd is on š„.
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I don't know what PMS does to the brain, but it's not good. My real event ocd is on š„.
why do i feel almost okay with liking girls???? i don't want to accept that or to like them :( saying that sounds like denial and like i am lying. i really feel like i am just struggling to accept my sexuality. i want to lash out on myself and tear myself apart
You know what the worst thing of it all is? Trying to describe your anxiety/OCD to somebody close to you in hopes they would help you and they only say āeveryone has thoughts like thatā or āeveryone has anxietyā.
Ok guys need help. Ive got two job offers but can only do one with school coming up. One place i applied to is very unorganized the managers had no printer working, they couldnāt complete my paper work and had me come back to do it and the women doing it just seemed so out of it and was on the phone with a personal call? (Im not sure what it was) for a minute and then proceeded to say she was gonna hang up on the person cause she told them she was busy. She also said she would tell the people when i was ready to start but still havenāt gotten a call back so Iāll probably have to go and clear things up myself. But they pay better than the second job and are closer to home. The store makes me feel gross though and i feel the need to immediately wash everytime i come home. The second job is still early in the process but the manager seemed really nice i liked our phone interview i tried to negotiate the starting salary but it is pretty low considering my experience and he couldnāt budge because we get a bonus. This location is farther from home as well so those are the negatives. Thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
hey all, iām gonna rant... itās been a tough few days (psssht. even weeks). recently, my ocd has been attacking my relationship.. but has it really? thatās the problem iām having. no relationship is perfect, i understand that. my relationship has had MANY ups and downs. and itās just really difficult. it also doesnāt help that weāre long distance & i have intense fear of abandonment (due to my mother leaving me at an awkward time of my life) and attachment issues. ocd is such a confusing and debilitating disorder. iāve recently started taking Zoloft, only for about 7 days and i feel too tired to do my usual mental compulsions. sometimes i realize that and i feel okay, other times i freak out that i canāt do the compulsions. my ocd has made me think me and my boyfriend should break up for many reasons, such as he deserves better and i deserve no love or a relationship with him. weāve hurt eachother, but my brain likes to think iāve hurt him more.. and i probably have. but when i think of this i just feel like a complete monster. not to mention iāve felt really detached (& numb towards) from my relationship and i feel like i donāt recognize him, or us as a couple,.. sometimes i feel like i canāt recognize our good memories⦠just the bad ones. and when iām around him (on facetime or in person when we have the chance) i just feel awkward as if iām faking my love for/ attraction to him. and that really scares me. because then my mind digs through the past and shows me how iāve treated him and makes me think iāve never loved him and was never attracted to him and that iāve just treated him so terribly. i was very toxic and neglected (his emotional needs) in the middle/ early stages of our relationship. anytime heād ask for advice or reassurance, iād brush him off and get upset and i didnāt even notice. then i would play my game with people online and act happy and then treat him like he was less. so are these feelings really an act of ocd? and iām really a terrible person? weāve been dating since halloween of last year and i moved in early december, then his mom passed away in february. so weāve had a lot of stressors put on us. and i just feel like such a bad person. i start school back up in a week and iām scared that iāll forget about him and all of our memories and start to like someone new. i DONT want that to happen. but i cant avoid school. so if anyone has some advice, iād like to stay away from breaking up or taking breaks. i know and am aware itās more than likely ocd, but iām doubting itās ocd and thatās where most of the panic comes from.. iāve felt incredibly stressed out and i just want to come to terms on whatās happening. iāve posted a few little things but i thought i post the whole sha bang. so, to anyone who has insight or any advice whatsoever, thank you for taking the time to help out a fellow distraught human. (also please donāt think iām a terrible person :( ) ā¤ļø
Does anyone have a thought about a real event thing and sometimes be able to justify the situation and be like "whatever" and then sometimes it totally freaks you out and you feel like your life is over?? In my case it was such a small incident but my brain says "nope life is over for you" one minute and "eh it's no big deal" the next š i really want to ask a family member but I know I would be trying to relieve anxiety but I reallllllly want to relieve the anxiety. It doesn't help that I have things for college to go today and an interview tonight for an internship yet all I can think about is this small little real event
I feel so gross about anything feminine right now. I just want to be a lesbian but I no longer feel attracted to women and the idea of being a woman or wearing anything girly makes me feel sick. I'm convinced I'm trans and just scared. I hate this. I want to be me again.
I read online that people with OCD have a higher risk of developing schizophrenia (x6 more risk). and this really sent me down a spiral since my only obsession is developing schizophrenia, and I was comforted by the fact that only 1% of the general population has it. idk what to do now
Hope everyone has a good Sunday! If not hopefully this picture of my dog can help cheer you up!
New here...son was diagnosed OCD at age 6. Now he is 16 and has POCD and he is absolutely spiraling right now. I feel helpless because I cannot relieve his anxiety. He is convinced he is a sick person no matter how many times i tell him this is the OCD not him. He is physically sick from the worrying. NOCD therapist cannot see him until next month and i have no clue what to do. Any advice on coping mechanisms?
Struggling a little lately with what Iām 80% sure is ocd (Iām undiagnosed but working on it). Somehow Iām worrying about being a lesbian (whoās into sex lol) and ace all at once, which probably indicates that my worries arenāt very realistic. For years my bi friend has jokingly said I look like a lesbian (the first time being when we were around 12) and the most recent being a week ago. I guess itās just thrown me for a loop because itās made me worry I somehow inherently look lesbian? I know thatās ridiculous (literally the last time she said that another girl said I looked straight so idk) but I just got curtain bangs and Iāve started dressing in a way thatās more vintage inspired which could be interpreted as lesbian if someone wanted to go by stereotypes? As for the asexual thing, I questioned if I might be - likely as a compulsion against intrusive thoughts - right before my first big episode and confessed my thoughts to my mum instantly, which makes me think it probably wasnāt valid. Now I worry constantly that I actually am because Iām not crazily horny and havenāt really felt a desperate need to have sex with anyone even though Iāve never been in a relationship at 18 years old. I donāt begrudge either of these sexualities at all and itās annoying me that I constantly have to think about these things. Sorry to vent but Iām on holiday at the moment and these things have been on the back of my mind. Hope youāre all having good days :)
So I need advice I constantly have ruminations of cheating on my partner. We barely have been having problems anymore yet a friend of mine (who I was never into) we recently crossed paths over his mom dying of stage four lung cancer, and I knew his mom liked me very very much, way more than my current boyfriends mom could ever. His mother always had problems with me for reasons unknown. I recently dreamt of sleeping with my friend after crying about his mom possibly dying after finding out. Iām wondering if this is me trying to escape pain of my boyfriends mom and sister not loving me that much. I was always looking for love from an older adult since my moms a druggie and my dads a recovering abusive alcoholic. Iām not looking for reassurance. Iām not even sure this is OCD. Iām kinda of just looking for help. My boyfriends a wonderful guy But he comes from a shitty family like mine, very mean spirited
Hey, I havenāt been on here in a longgg time and this isnāt necessarily OCD related but I want to tell someone how Iām feeling in the hopes that maybe someone else sort of relates and then maybe we can talk? I donāt know, Iām just a little scared at the moment and could do with some comfort I guess. Ok so the best way to describe how Iām feeling is empty. Iām not sure that I actually feel emotions much anymore. Iām not happy or sad and itās scaring me, but obviously at the same time it isnāt because the only proper emotions Iām experiencing right now are hopelessness and emptiness. I just want to be able to feel again and I really donāt want this to be a big problem. Does anyone know if itās even possible for me to get my emotions back? Can I back to normal, although Iām not too sure how normal feels anymore, or how feeling feels anymore. Also, Iām not even sure if that is whatās going on with me. I can barely feel things but at the same time my brains like nah itās probably nothing, youāve just not got any reason to feel anything right now. I feel exhausted and without motivation everyday. Thank you to anyone whoās read this, I hope nobody relates but please tell me if you do. I just want to talk.
I feel like such a horrible person. I forgot how horrible this theme makes someone feel. It was retriggered over me saying something bad about an old friend, as well as my hocd. Cause i had this one friend (we arenāt friends anymore she dropped me) where like it felt like she forced sexuality down my throat and would be like āi think your demisexualā and i was like āuhhhh iām straightā and she was like āfine straight demisexualā and she would say things how i ājust convinced myself to be that uncomfortable with the thought of kissing another girlā And I feel like a horrible person whenever I tell my three close friends about it, cause all my mind can say is āyour being homophobic towards her in order to hide your sexualityā when really i never cared that she was pan, it wasnāt until she started making comments about that and i found out that sheād talk about my body / boobs with like others guys that I began having a problem And then with my other friend. Iām white and we were talking about implicit biases and she said āevery time i see a blonde hair blue eyed lady i think sheās a trump supporterā (iām blonde hair blue eyed and i told one of my friends she said this and i feel horrible now that i did) And atop that, one of my old best friends really wronged me and I had to take some time apart and focus on myself and finally allow myself to forgive, because I never fully did. And so we hung out recently and reconciled, and I told her how i felt (i had before) and she just has a hard time accepting that what she did really hurt me, and now sheās not talking to me again and saying she needs time to process and Iām back in the position of bad guy again. I canāt keep doing this. I feel like such a horrible person and i keep asking myself why i mess up and i feel absolutely horrendous.
My intrusive thoughts tell me my partner is lying to me, even though they are a very honest person and I do actually trust them. I've been doing ERP for about a week and it's helpful, BUT after doing sessions where I repeat to myself over and over again that my partner is a liar, not to be trusted, etc., it becomes very easy to start believing those thoughts. Yes, I say to myself, "She could be a liar or she may not be, there's no way to know." But having that uncertainty in my mind makes it really hard to develop trust with my partner and bond with them. I have no idea how to handle this. Does it make sense to anyone else? Open to suggestions! Thank you.
Any other queer people not feel safe on this app? I just saw a whole long post where someone proclaimed being homophobic multiple times... as something that helped them. Am I even wanted here?
Happy Friday everyone! Hereās a question I have for today! Whatās one place in the world you really want to travel and see one day?!
TW: Drugs/psychedelics Iām not sure if this is the place to ask this but does anyone with OCD have any experience with psychedelics? Iām taking shrooms tomorrow (probably going to microdose) and I want to know what other peopleās experiences with them are. Do they help with OCD? Make symptoms worse? Any tips?
(TW is for POCD and discussion of pedophilia) Tl;dr I did actual bad things as an older child and young teenager, idk whether I even have POCD or I'm just actually a pedophile I'm questioning if this is OCD or I'm actually a pedophile. And I know everyone with POCD thinks that but I think I'm actually the odd one out. My POCD interacts with real event, specifically stuff that I did when I was 11-14. I had a fetish at that point, or at least I think that's what it was bc idk what else to call it. It wasn't sexual to me or didn't seem that way at the time, but I think that must have been the enjoyment I was getting out of it bc there's no other explanation. And I would write stories related to this fetish about kids way younger than myself without seeing anything wrong with it, bc again I didn't see it as sexual. And look up images related to it as well (not CP). But it's a relatively common fetish, and it's pretty obvious that's what it was. I really don't see how I could write that off or pretend it's ok. I would do literally anything to change the past but of course I can't. Ever since realizing the stuff I wrote was bad I panicked and that started the anxiety and it's spiraled to the point where now I think I'm a full on p, and idk whether it's true. I don't want the intrusive thoughts, but sometimes I worry I do, and now I get groinal responses to everything, not just thoughts but real people as well. The groinal responses only started after I read a reddit post that said that's the way to determine if you're really a p. I try to avoid children, I avoid everyone because I don't feel deserving of human interaction. I have absolutely no desire to do anything to a child but I'm scared I must be repressing it bc why else did I do the things I did when I was younger? I can't move on from this it seems. Idk if I deserve to. I'm not trying to ask for reassurance I just can't do this anymore, I can't do ERP if I'm convinced I'm actually a p, because why would I want to stop being worried about something that's actually worrying? Please don't be scared to tell me if you think I'm a pedophile I want to know. I want to know what you do if you can't trust yourself enough to try to heal?
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OCD doesn't have to
rule your life