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I can't tell if my derealization got worst.. I feel different like things feel fake or is this how it feels to feel normal? Everything just looks and feels weird I'm scared I think Ima start having an anxiety attack.

sometimes i cant tell if what’s going on is an intrusive thought or my inner racist. it’s hard as a poc bc being anti racist is such an integral part of my being that i can’t tell if i’m just fighting a racist part of myself or an intrusive thought bc either way i didn’t like what i was thinking but i can see why my mind chose that yk?

I feel so pointless

Does anybody else have dreams they don’t remember when they wake up but still feel extremely anxious and guilty?

It seems like nothing is giving me relief anymore. I’m in full panic mode and I’m so scared these thoughts won’t stop and that they are true. Idk what to do. I keep thinking if I just be with a girl then all of my anxiety will stop. I don’t want to but why does it feel like I do? I’m so tired.

why and how am i able to sit now with no thoughts and no anxiety? is this possible with ocd or is it proof i don't have ocd???

TW psychopaths. i really need help i’m freaking out so much. i think i’m quite an empathetic person. and i think i might be a masochist (someone who likes getting hurt / feeling pain). i don’t really mind this because at the end of the day it’s me who would suffer not anyone else. but then i was googling and googling and fell into a trap about sadistic people. what if i hurt people so i can empathise with their pain and feel good? because i like feeling pain? i’m usually quite sensitive to pain so i’m worried it could make be sadistic if i felt someone’s else’s pain. because i would enjoy as i like feeling pain. there have been times where i’ve felt weirdly stimulated by terrible / evil situations (i hoped it was just adrenaline and anxiety). and i’m so scared i’m a psychopath. i feel sick to my stomach right now with anxiety. like what if i’m sadistic??? am what if i really am a psychopath??!!! please someone help me i’m so scared.

I feel so guilty I never asked for this. A certain intrusive thought that I’ve been having that won’t go away came up at the wrong time last night if you know what I’m talking about and now I feel like I’ve acted on the thoughts and I never would never want that. I feel so ashamed

How do I continue to make it with the range of intrusive thoughts that I’ve had for the last 15 months? Doesn’t seem that there frequency has lessened and I’m so tired of them.

I wish i was never scared of having psychosis because its all i think about and I constantly convince myself i have it abs give myself symptoms

This might be a dumb question but is it normal for women to be a trigger for someone who has sexual orientation OCD?

im having a panic attack and i need help. i was reading something on reddit while watching a movie because i panicked after seeing a child on screen and i was telling myself that i was not attracted to them and i kept feeling like i was lying. but i wasn’t i just don’t want to be i do not at all. then on reddit someone said we clearly don’t want to do anything to a child but finding parts of them potentially attractive is not indicative of being a pedophile and linked a video. i still was resisting the thoughts and saying no to them but it made me feel better and i started pondering but i feel like that’s still justifying pedophilia and i don’t want to be one but i felt better after reading that but that isn’t okay either. please i need help i’m desperate i don’t like this and i hate that i’m even worrying about this at all

I thought looking at videos to expose myself to mh fears would help.. It feels as if everyone around me is fake or if its a part of my imagination... I kept seeong the video of Javier from spain that supposedly was stuck in 2027 but people were saying how it was fair I don't believe its true but what if it is? What if Im fake? What if everyone around me isn't real and are like robots? What if I left to abother dimension? Is it possible? Not asking for reasurance but am I doing it wrong?

I’m really struggling right now. I’m having intrusive thoughts around a real event. My family thinks I’m being ridiculous and can’t understand why i can’t let it go. I keep ruminating on “what if”. I don’t want to say what’s bothering me because that’s reassurance seeking. So instead I’ll give an example of the type of thinking that bothers me… It’s illegal to run a red light. I went through a yellow light that turned red. How soon did it turn red? Was I in the intersection before the turn? What if I get a ticket mailed to my house and we can’t afford the insurance hike on our monthly payment. What if that leads to not being able to have 2 cars and one of us loses our job and then we can’t afford to take care of our family on 1 income? I’m sure from that example you can see how distressing this type of thinking is. It’s a real event, I’m responsible, I’ll ruin everything, etc, etc. I think like this no matter how improbable the scenario is. To me, with OCD nothing seems improbable, but I can see the irrationality about it. My compulsion is rumination on the event, researching online, confession, explain myself, and ask if I’ll get in trouble. Does anyone else deal with this type of OCD or anxiety related thinking?

I don't know whether I'm fighting against myself or ocd. I just keep thinking fuck it maybe I will just come out. And then I think about women and I can't let go they used to mean everything thing to me 😔

My boyfriend is a very good looking man but when we took this photo he looks half asleep and it bothered me all night and I started to look at the pictures and look at my boyfriend, then back at the picture and so on and so forth because I started to think “is my boyfriend ugly?” But I know he’s not. To me I think it’s just a bad picture. I have another one in my archive where my eyes look red and demonic from the flash and another picture I’m sitting down and you can see my panties in full view. Out of all the pictures this ones the best one but I feel he looks bad in this one yet I know he’s good looking and I kept telling myself “you’re really gonna break up with him over a picture? He’s not even ugly in real life. It’s just a picture” my thoughts are so bad and I can’t take it I feel so bad

Hey I just joined, for over 6 months I've been trying to figure out if my subconscious was telling me something when I thought about "my love for certain genres of music being an illusion in a different way" or whether it was just a thought. I haven't been able to get any closure and I'm becoming more depressed. Can your subconscious tell you something like that? Because I've tried looking it up on Google and I haven't gotten a straight answer. I know I'm not dealing with this in a healthy way but I can't help myself. I'm always afraid that every thought I have is true.

Does anyone want to talk about something possibly being sin? I've been struggling with this... And btw I'm not talking about the unforgivable sin or things like that; although, I have had obsessions about those kinds of things.

One of the things I struggle with as a compulsion is skin picking or dermatillomania, I've had it for so long me and my parents really just got used to it I guess. On top of that I have a skin condition which triggers my skin picking habits sometimes. I've had a bunch of infections because of it, most recently a staph infection (again). And my doctor looked at it and said it was self inflicted and I had to explain to her I recently figured out with my psychiatrist that I most likely have OCD. It was embarrassing? It took a lot of me to even make the doctors appointment because I knew it was my own doing that it got that bad. And just sharing it with my mom so that I could go to the doctor was a lot. It's frustrating it doesn't seem like there's much specific treatment for it and I've already had at least 3 serious infections as a result of it. Still can't stop as it's typical of compulsions. Frustrating and not quite sure how to change it. My doctor demanded I cut down my nails though she isn't involved in my mental health network and that in itself made me feel like even more of a child for not being able to stop it myself. At least I had a good conversation with my parents about how it's not like self harm. I don't do it to hurt myself, I do it because my brain tells me to. Wonder if anyone here has any advice to prevent skin picking or know of any specific treatment people do for it? I'm really tired of it

Is anybody else becoming irritated by this narrative that HOCD is the result of ‘internalised homophobia’? I initially saw a few people who didn’t have HOCD question whether this theme was the result of homophobia, but I just brushed that off as ignorance on their behalf because they don’t understand what it’s like to have the theme. But, then it started to shift over into the therapy world, where I’d see therapists posting on Instagram & writing blog posts about how this theme has links to homophobia. I understand and appreciate that there will be select individuals who have this theme, possibly because of underlying toxic religious beliefs for example, who have internalised, or even externalised homophobia, but they make up such a tiny portion of the entire population of HOCD sufferers, that it actually angers me that even PROFESSIONALS are generalising that narrative to the whole community. In these blog posts and Instagram posts, I’d read that the ‘media’ may have led to feelings of homophobia… in 2021, I have no clue about what media is explicitly condemning homosexuality… but okay. To me, it’s less activism as it’s just a desire to turn mental health political, and from professionals, that upsets me. I’ve noticed that a lot of the clinical psychologists have said that individuals with HOCD TEND to be very current in their political beliefs, & do not believe it’s at all wrong to be homosexual, bi sexual, transsexual. Any thoughts on this?