- Date posted
- 4y
I’m freaking out so bad I have so so so many struggles and fears around intimacy with my boyfriend that it truly feels like I don’t want to have sex with him but I do I want to so badly and I want to enjoy things with him so much. But yet I can only enjoy it when I really really focus on it so doesn’t that mean I’m forcing it??? Like if I just try to do it without thinking about everything I won’t be able to enjoy it so does that mean I’ll never be able to truly let go of that bc I don’t actually enjoy it? I don’t want to have sex with a girl not at all and I don’t want anyone else to be with my partner like that but me. So why can’t I enjoy it freely? Like if I don’t focus on it I won’t even want to. I hate myself , I feel like a monster and like there’s something wrong with me.
- Trigger warning
- Sexual Orientation OCD