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having a hard time right now. i feel like i deserve the worst. usually with my ocd, it's future based thinking. i can deal with that. the future's not real. only now is real. but i can't wrap my head around forgiving myself. when something is real and tangible. something that i've actually done. something i haven't confessed for. the consequences only waiting to happen. how farfetched is it for me to think the worst of myself? i worry that this isn't ocd. i've had other themes but i can't get past this one no matter how hard i try. i was doing good. but i feel like i'm stuck. it's not a "what if" anymore - it's a "this actually happened" and a "you're a terrible person" kind of a thing. anyone else? not looking for reassurance here. just hoping to not be alone

I am overwhelmed, so overwhelmed. Because at first I thought what I had might be OCD, but I don’t think anymore. Days ago I would post very often in here looking for reassurance, I would self reassurance and ruminate a lot. But lately it hasn’t been that way, I barely post in here looking for reassurance, and now I fear it might not be OCD. Lately I’ve been just feeling disturbed by my own mind, I fear I might have something worse than just OCD. I don’t know why am I typing this here, it’s not like you guys could bring me a solution, but I would like to know if someone has ever felt like this. I don’t know if the way I’ve been feeling has some connection with my Harm thoughts. But lately I’ve been feeling so strange, I feel so disturbed, like I am crazy, or like I am going crazy. Like my mind is a mess and I’m turning into a psychotic. And it really overwhelms me the fact that I don’t know if I want to actually cause harm or not. Is it that I already want it? Maybe I want it right now and I’m debating it for no reason. I don’t know I feel like I am living in a nightmare or in just some disturbing reality, or like I’m going in some sort of psychosis. I don’t know what’s going on in my head and I’m honestly scared. I feel like I’m going crazy in my own mind. And my harmful thoughts make it even worse because I feel like I could really do something and I honestly don’t know if I want to or not and ugh. It’s so hard feeling like this, like I am going in a psychosis phase or something.

Nothing to do with OCD but I have had 2 Cold sores in the past two weeks. I’m terrified of herpes.. I’m a Virgin btw, but this boy was all up on me and touching me one day. I can’t get herpes by thay right? Also I forgot to clean the toilet seat ONCE.. I can’t get herpes by that either rt?

Did anyone’s ocd ever get worse from smoking weed? I will NEVER touch marijuana again (no offense to anyone who uses it) but I’m so scared that it woke something up in me that will never go away. I am constantly paranoid, I feel disconnected, like everything is a dream, I am so aware of my body that it’s scary, and my ocd themes keep switching. It’s almost like my brain is on autopilot. I am so afraid that this will be my reality forever.

I have a tricky one.. real event ocd. I am in quarantine (day 11) due to my boss testing positive for covid. We didn’t spend much time together but just enough to warrant isolation. I had a cough beforehand and that got worse and so this caused intense panic and lots of other symptoms like fatigue, headache, muscle pain, etc. Not even sure if those symptoms are due to a cold, covid or just me freaking out for days. I got tested twice (day 1 and day 4) and both results came back negative so I felt better but also a bit confused because I did feel mild symptoms. On day 7 I got another negative result. At this point I felt pretty much normal and with 3 negative results and with all the stress I was going through I was like f this and had a friend sit with me outside on my patio (breaking quarantine). They stayed for about an hour and a half. I had a mask on for most of the time just in case and we mainly stayed 6 feet apart. Obviously looking back I regret doing this as it was irresponsible.. At the time I felt okay about it because I knew the odds of me having covid in the first place, let alone spreading it outside at a distance was very low but.. When it came time to answer calls from the health authorities and make it out like Ive been complying with their rules etc , thats when my OCD really got triggered, mainly due to lying and what the implications of that would mean. It felt like I was lying to the police about a murder or something. For example if I spread covid to this person who came over I could get in a lot of trouble. Or if somehow they found out I could pay a big fine etc. Especially since I gave them false information. All these scenarios started to hit me once I lied to them. I ended up getting a 4th test 36 hours after I was with this person (day 10) and again I tested negative. So at this point Im trying to sort of be like, theres a very very low chance I even have it, or spread it even if I somehow did, and also my symptoms are gone so would I even be contagious? Of course none of this is helping my OCD. My compulsion is to confess to the health authorities of what I did before anything bad happens, but part of me is like, do you enjoy paying fines? Because its so so unlikely anything bad will happen but if i say something ill just be getting myself and maybe even my friend im trouble. What do you guys think? If you genuinely think its worth confessing for non-anxiety reasons Ill consider it but the level of anxiety and guilt im having over this makes me think im 90% just being OCD. I have an opportunity to “right the wrong” by confessing, but its not like thats without plenty of consequences that surely might not be easier than just not worrying about this. I really feel like confessing would be me giving in to the anxiety. I just dont know what to do because im spending so much time ruminating about this. Like i cant think of anything else please help.

False memory ocd: How does this happen? Does it start with a "omg what if that happened " and then you give that thought so much attention and add potential details to it, so eventually you start believing it actually did happen because it now feels so "real"?

I usually drink coffee every day, but always a cappuccino. Today I had straight granulated coffee, and I was shaking so bad and felt EXTREMELY anxious. I told my mum, and she looked at me like, ‘c’mon’ and I felt so embarrassed because I could feel my heart beating through my chest and I felt like I was going to die. On top of this, I was going with my friend to a job interview, and I had to pick up some contact lenses before. I had my glasses on, and they were crooked so I sat on a bench with my friend to put my contact lenses in, and I couldn’t get them in because my hand was shaking so violently! Eventually I did, but it was so annoying. Like I had no emotional anxiety, but I was shaking like a leaf. And then we got into the place, and it was a room full of people. I wasn’t emotionally nervous but I was so self-conscious of how physically anxious my body was, and how shaky I was that I started to panic. For some reason, my vision went SO weird, like I can’t describe it. It just felt like something shifted and, as someone with intense health anxiety, this really freaked me out and I was struggling to concentrate. It eventually died down, but it was so stressful and embarrassing like my actual face was shaking!! Like my cheek!! Like WHAT! Just thought I’d write it here to see if anyone’s had a similar experience!

This might be TMI, but I just had sex with my boyfriend this morning and was literally in my head the entire time. Questioning myself, am I into this? Would I be more into this if he was a girl? Literally couldn’t enjoy myself fully because my mind just wouldn’t shut off. Any advice on how to shut it off? I can’t stop crying. I feel like I would actually enjoy it if I wasn’t so in my head the entire time. I’ve never had this problem before, but now it’s becoming an issue

I just saw something on Insta that super triggered me. One of those reels. It was like “if you’ve ever taken and ‘am I gay’ quiz online...happy pride!” Basically implying that if you’ve questioned your sexuality it could only possibly mean one thing. Is this true? Has anybody else had a -long- history of questioning and is in a happy relationship and 25 years old and still doesn’t feel like they can confidently say they are this or that sexuality? Is it normal to just question forever?

Please help. I have perfectionism ocd and also just started my period. Is it a good idea to start working on a big project now or will my ocd ruin it? I've heard that sometimes ocd gets worse while you're on your period...

i am scared to say this because i feel like i am going to be told to break up with him or something. i don’t know if this is relationship ocd or not. a couple months ago i got i to a romantic relationship with a guy who i really really love. he makes me so happy and he gives me major butterflies and he is beautiful in every way possible. we have been friends for 2 years but not very close we talk in real life and we talk over text. however, we talk better over text. our conversation flows so easily online. the moment i see him in real life, i have to think of what to say. we have had many meaningful conversations in person. sometimes the conversation flows really well and we have the best time ever just talking and laughing. however this isn’t always the case. it’s not like there’s a constant awkward tension. we sit together, we walk to school together and we hang out for hours after school every day. but it’s not all great meaningful productive conversation. we just talk about normal things. i have to use my brain to talk. there’s rarely a time we have a mind blowing amazing conversation in real life i still have so much fun with him. we kiss. we mess around. but it makes me so anxious that we can’t speak like we do over text. i feel like he deserves better. i know i am so in love with him and i’d never do anything to lose him and he wouldn’t do anything to lose me. i know it’s probably not even the case and that it’s my mind making everything seem much bigger than it is. i just want to find out a way to make us talk better in real life? maybe it isn’t my fault. he is a very quiet person and is always in his head. he says he doesn’t mind but i still feel like he deserves someone who he can have a discussion with that gets so interesting and full you lose your breath talking. we have had that quite a few times but i’m anxious that it’s not enough. i hate how i have to think of what to say and it’s not always natural. help. i don’t wanna break up with him

Anyone getting a lot groinal responses from HOCD also i keep getting thoughts in my head, "im gay im gay im gay" also moat of these thoughts aren't triggering a ton of anxiety and that makes me worry. I also keep feeling like im feminine or act like a gay dude. I hate it so much. I hate the groinal responses, it makes it feel real and not only that HOW DO I SIT WITH THE FEELING? HOW DO I DO RESPONSE PREVENTION? I don't want to accept this as truth this isn't me at all.

I always feel more comfortable talking about guys romantically than girls & my mind is telling me thats because of like society and not me actually liking guys even though everyone i know that’s lgbtq felt the opposite regardless of who they talked too And everyone surrounding me is accepting if i were But i just feel more comfortable talking about guys than girls in romantic aspects

Wondering if anyone else is on Zoloft for anxiety and ocd? I was on it 8 years ago had no side effects did well on it (I know the body changes every 7 years lol) on it again now 3 weeks anxiety through the roof and horrible jaw clenching wondering if anyone else had the same experience when starting and if your side effects subsided?

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE BE CAREFUL but please help if you can so i was just scrolling on insta reels and there was this video saying "if you've ever taken an online test to see if you're gay happy pride month" and i have taken a lot of those. plus the comments were like "yeah took a lot of those but still was in denial" and "the denial and confusion are exhausting" i am freaking out right now what do i do what if i am actually in denial y'all please help😭😭

im new here! this is the first day ive really started understanding that i may have OCD. and now that i read about it im so off put by the fact that no one around me noticed this is what i have been struggling with. (my family members are in the mental health field of work) i struggle mostly with what i think is rOCD. it’s been debilitating this past week, but i feel okay right now. i think covid and moving out of my childhood home and in with my partner during lockdown combined really inflamed this problem for me. right now im just working on accepting that i may suffer from this and accepting what that might mean for my life in the future. im diagnosed bipolar currently which i have been able to manage un medicated for about a year now. but this feels different, and i hate hate being medicated, but i feel like i may need to be until i learn some coping mechanisms for this particular problem. just a lot to think about. any thoughts on medication and how to get past the thought that you’re changing yourself by taking it? anyway love to you all, we’re gonna be okay 💌🤝

Within the last month I’ve had three people question me if I was gay. It’s something that triggers me and offends me. Why can’t I be myself without people thinking that. I’ve gotten it my whole life. My goal for myself is to not take anything person. I can act and be who I am. I don’t care what the hell you think. This is who I am. There is no way a straight male to act. I am who I am.

If anyone’s LGBTQ+ in a straight passing relationship (or same sex relationship if you’re currently in one), would you wanna talk about your relationship and how it affects your OCD?

My theme is fear of pshycosis and im scared :/

Went to the gym and got a decent shoulder workout. Saw a couple cute girls which was nice haha. I felt like some dude was there triggering me in purpose maybe he was maybe he wasn’t but I still finished my workout even though my soocd was being triggered. I have my rational voice which always helps me out on top of my voice. It is what it is. Like I only need a little bit of erp to be done by a ocd specialist but can’t seem to find one who wants to do it. Like my previous therapist could build it for me again but she refused to do it cuz she didn’t believe in me anymore and would rather believe a psychosis theory that never went away while being on an antipsychotic so it is what it is smh. I mean I don’t want to feel what I feel every day. I don’t want to make my life harder and others too. I want to be normal and would like for a therapist to help me to be normal but they aren’t understanding me so I just got to keep going.