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I usually drink coffee every day, but always a cappuccino. Today I had straight granulated coffee, and I was shaking so bad and felt EXTREMELY anxious. I told my mum, and she looked at me like, ‘c’mon’ and I felt so embarrassed because I could feel my heart beating through my chest and I felt like I was going to die. On top of this, I was going with my friend to a job interview, and I had to pick up some contact lenses before. I had my glasses on, and they were crooked so I sat on a bench with my friend to put my contact lenses in, and I couldn’t get them in because my hand was shaking so violently! Eventually I did, but it was so annoying. Like I had no emotional anxiety, but I was shaking like a leaf. And then we got into the place, and it was a room full of people. I wasn’t emotionally nervous but I was so self-conscious of how physically anxious my body was, and how shaky I was that I started to panic. For some reason, my vision went SO weird, like I can’t describe it. It just felt like something shifted and, as someone with intense health anxiety, this really freaked me out and I was struggling to concentrate. It eventually died down, but it was so stressful and embarrassing like my actual face was shaking!! Like my cheek!! Like WHAT! Just thought I’d write it here to see if anyone’s had a similar experience!

This might be TMI, but I just had sex with my boyfriend this morning and was literally in my head the entire time. Questioning myself, am I into this? Would I be more into this if he was a girl? Literally couldn’t enjoy myself fully because my mind just wouldn’t shut off. Any advice on how to shut it off? I can’t stop crying. I feel like I would actually enjoy it if I wasn’t so in my head the entire time. I’ve never had this problem before, but now it’s becoming an issue

I just saw something on Insta that super triggered me. One of those reels. It was like “if you’ve ever taken and ‘am I gay’ quiz online...happy pride!” Basically implying that if you’ve questioned your sexuality it could only possibly mean one thing. Is this true? Has anybody else had a -long- history of questioning and is in a happy relationship and 25 years old and still doesn’t feel like they can confidently say they are this or that sexuality? Is it normal to just question forever?

Please help. I have perfectionism ocd and also just started my period. Is it a good idea to start working on a big project now or will my ocd ruin it? I've heard that sometimes ocd gets worse while you're on your period...

i am scared to say this because i feel like i am going to be told to break up with him or something. i don’t know if this is relationship ocd or not. a couple months ago i got i to a romantic relationship with a guy who i really really love. he makes me so happy and he gives me major butterflies and he is beautiful in every way possible. we have been friends for 2 years but not very close we talk in real life and we talk over text. however, we talk better over text. our conversation flows so easily online. the moment i see him in real life, i have to think of what to say. we have had many meaningful conversations in person. sometimes the conversation flows really well and we have the best time ever just talking and laughing. however this isn’t always the case. it’s not like there’s a constant awkward tension. we sit together, we walk to school together and we hang out for hours after school every day. but it’s not all great meaningful productive conversation. we just talk about normal things. i have to use my brain to talk. there’s rarely a time we have a mind blowing amazing conversation in real life i still have so much fun with him. we kiss. we mess around. but it makes me so anxious that we can’t speak like we do over text. i feel like he deserves better. i know i am so in love with him and i’d never do anything to lose him and he wouldn’t do anything to lose me. i know it’s probably not even the case and that it’s my mind making everything seem much bigger than it is. i just want to find out a way to make us talk better in real life? maybe it isn’t my fault. he is a very quiet person and is always in his head. he says he doesn’t mind but i still feel like he deserves someone who he can have a discussion with that gets so interesting and full you lose your breath talking. we have had that quite a few times but i’m anxious that it’s not enough. i hate how i have to think of what to say and it’s not always natural. help. i don’t wanna break up with him

Anyone getting a lot groinal responses from HOCD also i keep getting thoughts in my head, "im gay im gay im gay" also moat of these thoughts aren't triggering a ton of anxiety and that makes me worry. I also keep feeling like im feminine or act like a gay dude. I hate it so much. I hate the groinal responses, it makes it feel real and not only that HOW DO I SIT WITH THE FEELING? HOW DO I DO RESPONSE PREVENTION? I don't want to accept this as truth this isn't me at all.

I always feel more comfortable talking about guys romantically than girls & my mind is telling me thats because of like society and not me actually liking guys even though everyone i know that’s lgbtq felt the opposite regardless of who they talked too And everyone surrounding me is accepting if i were But i just feel more comfortable talking about guys than girls in romantic aspects

Wondering if anyone else is on Zoloft for anxiety and ocd? I was on it 8 years ago had no side effects did well on it (I know the body changes every 7 years lol) on it again now 3 weeks anxiety through the roof and horrible jaw clenching wondering if anyone else had the same experience when starting and if your side effects subsided?

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE BE CAREFUL but please help if you can so i was just scrolling on insta reels and there was this video saying "if you've ever taken an online test to see if you're gay happy pride month" and i have taken a lot of those. plus the comments were like "yeah took a lot of those but still was in denial" and "the denial and confusion are exhausting" i am freaking out right now what do i do what if i am actually in denial y'all please help😭😭

im new here! this is the first day ive really started understanding that i may have OCD. and now that i read about it im so off put by the fact that no one around me noticed this is what i have been struggling with. (my family members are in the mental health field of work) i struggle mostly with what i think is rOCD. it’s been debilitating this past week, but i feel okay right now. i think covid and moving out of my childhood home and in with my partner during lockdown combined really inflamed this problem for me. right now im just working on accepting that i may suffer from this and accepting what that might mean for my life in the future. im diagnosed bipolar currently which i have been able to manage un medicated for about a year now. but this feels different, and i hate hate being medicated, but i feel like i may need to be until i learn some coping mechanisms for this particular problem. just a lot to think about. any thoughts on medication and how to get past the thought that you’re changing yourself by taking it? anyway love to you all, we’re gonna be okay 💌🤝

Within the last month I’ve had three people question me if I was gay. It’s something that triggers me and offends me. Why can’t I be myself without people thinking that. I’ve gotten it my whole life. My goal for myself is to not take anything person. I can act and be who I am. I don’t care what the hell you think. This is who I am. There is no way a straight male to act. I am who I am.

If anyone’s LGBTQ+ in a straight passing relationship (or same sex relationship if you’re currently in one), would you wanna talk about your relationship and how it affects your OCD?

My theme is fear of pshycosis and im scared :/

Went to the gym and got a decent shoulder workout. Saw a couple cute girls which was nice haha. I felt like some dude was there triggering me in purpose maybe he was maybe he wasn’t but I still finished my workout even though my soocd was being triggered. I have my rational voice which always helps me out on top of my voice. It is what it is. Like I only need a little bit of erp to be done by a ocd specialist but can’t seem to find one who wants to do it. Like my previous therapist could build it for me again but she refused to do it cuz she didn’t believe in me anymore and would rather believe a psychosis theory that never went away while being on an antipsychotic so it is what it is smh. I mean I don’t want to feel what I feel every day. I don’t want to make my life harder and others too. I want to be normal and would like for a therapist to help me to be normal but they aren’t understanding me so I just got to keep going.

Does anyone else’s OCD try to tell you if you don’t ruminate you are just suppressing the “real you”? To just admit x,y,z to your self? These things just don’t feel right in my soul. I’m really struggling and I hate this illness. I just want my happy back so bad. I don’t want to feel like I’m loosing myself to this illness.

Trying to explain to my mum that I feel numb about most things not just my relationship and she says well not really, you love your job and your pets etc. And now I'm like great so it's not ROCD then it's real 😔

i cant stop thinking about the fight i had with my boyfriend two days ago **might trigger ROCD** hello everyone! i just needed to vent somewhere, and maybe get a little bit of advice. two days ago, me and my boyfriend (L) )(been together for 5 months now) got into an argument over the phone. this wasn’t our first argument, and we both knew it wasn’t going to be our last. it wasn’t a screaming match, nor was it laced with insults of any kind. it was a disagreement over something silly, and we both escalated it. eventually, we decided to sit down and talk about it all. we resolved things peacefully, he apologized, and i apologized as well. after this, we went back to our normal, goofy selves. problem is, i cant stop thinking about the argument. i cant stop thinking about how nervous i felt during it, as well as after. i still feel nervous whenever it’s brought up and whenever i’m away from him. i want our relationship to last for a very long time,,but i’m getting so scared that my nervous feelings will get in the middle of that, and make me break it off with him. im aware that i have anxiety (GAD), as well as a strong feeling that i have OCD, but it just bothers me that i still haven’t let go of these nervous feelings. what is this trying to tell me? my brain is telling me that this is the beginning of the end, that sooner or later i’ll stop loving him because of our argument, and that i’ll never see him the same way i used to. im scared because i feel myself already believing it. i cant look at a picture of him without being reminded of what happened. L might be coming over today, and all my brain can think about is “what if you can’t hug him or kiss him the same? what if you don’t want him to come over?” I told L all this and he understood. he once again apologized for causing all this pain. although he didn’t want one, L offered the idea of a break, but that made me feel worse. i don’t want a break from him. i wake up and wish to talk to him. i want to spend my summer with him. I love him, and i don’t want to end it or put a pause on what we have. It’s even worse when my brain tells me that i don’t love him anymore because of the argument. i don’t know what to believe. i am so so lost. i don’t know what to do. i have no one else but him to talk about this to. i don’t wanna suffocate him in the slightest. someone, please give me advice. i feel like i’m drowning.

((Tw for health anxiety)) I’ve had a sore throat for close to a month and all I can think of right now is the possibility of it being throat cancer. I vape regularly (even though I know I shouldn’t) and I’ve never had any issues, but a month ago it became painful to swallow and it feels like I have a rock in my throat and I’m so scared over it tbh.

TOCD Hi! This is my first post. I had my intake yesterday and it went really well! I actually felt really great afterwards. I've been having TOCD for about 2 months now. I've been all over the place with it, but recently have felt much much better after doing some personal work with ERP. However, I had a huge anxiety spike yesterday because I experienced what I can only call autogynephilia (arousal at the thought of having a vagina). I've experienced this before and it scares me a lot because the TOCD kind of pushes it to an extreme saying that I need to get gender affirmation surgery. Early on with the TOCD, I'd check if I actually did want a vagina, and like my checking would either be inconclusive, convince me that I did want one, or that I didn't, but no matter what it wouldn't last very long? Like I'd freak out about it and then like later forget that I was even worried about it. I'm a gay man, and I know it's not unheard of for gay men to experience autogynephilia and even to enjoy it and still be men, it's just very much all over the place with the TOCD. Like my guess is just that my OCD blows it out of proportion but I'm wondering if OCD can convince you that you like something to the point where you do like it? Like is this a backdoor spike? For reference, I believe I have experienced autogynephilia outside of an OCD mental state when I was younger, but as best as I remember it was a singular moment of experimentation that while enjoyable felt more like a fantasy than an embodiment of who I am if that makes sense. I'm feeling pretty calm about all of this right now, but I guess I'm just curious to see if anyone has had anything similar.

having a rough night accepting uncertainty